ACT III: Who's the Blond?


<font color=red>aka Evil Emperor Zurg<br><font col
Nov 19, 2000
Hi It's me again, Evil Emperor Zurg, your narrator. Please stand behind the blue / yellow / red line. The doors will open towards you. For the safety of our cast, please no flash photography.

That cast includes Zurgswife who in this act will also be playing Barbie, Kelley 10, a pair of Buzzes 8 and 7 (but the younger buzz wants to be Quail Kid and/or Aaron Carter), and Her Royal Majesty Delaney - Snow White - Cinderella - Jessie – Maleficent (DSWCJM) 3.

Act II closed as a musical with us singing BOX OF RAIN in the rain.

The kids were now getting cold but our little piece of the palace comes with a Jacuzzi. Cold and wet kids loose sight of the magic but a trip through the hot tub brings it back into focus.

The donuts, by now, had worn off. The Emperor's subjects are demanding food but his cupboards are as bare as old Mother Hubbard's. Time for the Emperor to pay a call on his royal friend - the King - the Burger King in route to <a href=" 00&cs=9&newcountry=us&taraddr=4444+W+Vine+St&tarcity=Kissimmee&tarstate=FL&tarzip=34746&newtcountry=us&tlt=28.3035&tln=-81.4579&tcs=9&ta rname=Wal-Mart+Super+Ctr&tardesc=_______(407)+397-7000">Wal-Mart</a>.

Giddy from our release from the dungeon of our first night we inexplicably returned to the scene if the crime - 192. We enjoyed a relatively empty Burger King. Then sat in traffic not moving through the road construction. This particular piece of highway is maintained using a similar science as Philadelphia meteorology. Evil Emperor Zurg sees this for what it is - the sinister interaction of economic factors, construction and the eventual need for a potty stop combining to make tourist trap parking lots look attractive. Zurg just laughs everyone went at the King's.

Zurg notices that cars appear to be moving faster in the parking lots along the side of the "highway" than on the road. But he is not fooled by these petty deceptions. Any Evil Emperor would know they are employees of the tourist traps driving back and forth simulating a way out when none exists. A car that ventures their way will be consumed like a fly in a Venus Flytrap. Zurg’s has a grudging admiration for these devious entrapments but is still none too happy with 192.

The kids full of fast food a phrase that hears means grease, sugar, fat, cholesterol and caffeine are bouncing loudly in the back seat. Where is Norman Rockwell? This is a scene of Americana!

We reach the location of the alleged accident that had traffic stopped. It is at the intersections of 192 and 525 cops, tow truck, fire truck, no bent up cars or victims. It strikes Zurg that this is "accident" was staged by the locals to drive traffic into the retail establishments. Both 535 and 192 are backed up all the way to Disney’s property line. Zurg does not believe in coincidence when there is a conspiracy theory to be advanced and wonders if they perform this 'Show' every Sunday? Once again Zurg is impressed by the assumed deception.

Wal-Mart is packed. We use two-way radios to work the place buying tons of food, back ups for the Buzzes' wet shoes and still save over a hundred buck over the half ton of food and no shoes we bought last season at Goodings. The Evil Emperor has even more appreciation for rip-off pricing at Goodings than before realizing that if they called it Evilings no one would go near the place.

We attempt another route back - 535 to Osceola Parkway and turn right just past the Pop Century construction site. We are at Boardwalk in 10 minutes. 192 is the kind of road only a Very Evil Emperor can love.

Unpacking food: Double Stuff Oreo, milk, cereal, milk, frozen burgers, milk, blond hair dye, milk, pop tarts...

Wait a second! BLOND HAIR DYE?!?

It seams that Buzz / Quail Kid really wants to look like Aaron Carter and Zurgswife thinks playing Barbie doll with someone's head it is a fun idea.

For the rest of the trip I keep wondering who the blond kid hanging around with us is. :confused:

ACT IV Snow White & the leather clad Pagens


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