Abstinence Pledge Survey

[bicker]

The Today show presented a story on the first fully cross-normalized (i.e., valid) survey regarding abstinence/virginity/purity pledges. This topic has come up here on this forum before, and apparently the survey confirms what a lot of posters speculated, that there is no significant difference in the point of onset or incidence of teenage sex between those that make such pledges and those that do not, and also that the incidence of risky sex is actually significantly higher among that do wear purity rings.

 

[bicker]

One thing that is especially interesting that came out of the survey was that the pledges seemed to be especially ineffective when taken as part of a group, i.e., the pledge was more reliable when taken by a single adolescent, without any specter of peer interaction. I've always thought that the dodgiest part of these pledges was the purity ring itself; it becoming a status symbol to wear it, contributing to the extent to which it would become ineffective for what it was actually intended.

 

[hentob]

The Today show presented a story on the first fully cross-normalized (i.e., valid) survey regarding abstinence/virginity/purity pledges.

I saw it.

I was not surprised by the results. Actually, the risky sex part did surprise me. But, the fact that these minors have sex just like every other teen was not an eye opener

 

[bicker]

The risky sex part didn't surprise me, and the reporter mentioned the presumed rationale, that teens who make this pledge dismiss their own need to learn about "the alternatives" until after those teens decide to break the pledge, and at that point they are commensurately unprepared to protect themselves.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Didn't see the piece but I think the purity stuff is weird. I actually think there is something sexual with the "promise".
It creeps me out.

 

[torinsmom]

DS14 asked for and got s purity ring for Christmas. He is committed to it right now, but I don't necessarily believe that will be true in 6 months or a year. Still, I surely did not want to tell him no, when it seemed so important to him, KWIM?

We still talk about sex and STD's and birth control. I think that is the key, as well as it being the teen's idea and not peers, church or parents.

Marsha

 

[aprilgail2]

Didn't see the piece but I think the purity stuff is weird. I actually think there is something sexual with the "promise".
It creeps me out.

Me too- its just weird. The worst was a TV show I watched and all these little girls were making promises to their dads and the dads were all talking about their daughters remaing pure etc- it was just so creepy!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Me too- its just weird. The worst was a TV show I watched and all these little girls were making promises to their dads and the dads were all talking about their daughters remaing pure etc- it was just so creepy!

I saw that too. Too freaky for my blood.

 

[shortbun]

the only couple I have ever known to take a virginity pledge put the girl in the hospital with horrible bladder damage due to all the sex they had when her parents went away. um...his license plates even said something about the pledge. lol!

 

[freckles and boo]

I hope my kids wait until they are emotionally mature enough to handle sex. I can't imagine them making a public statement about it though. It seems like it would set them up for feelings of failure if they don't wait. I certainly don't expect them to wait for marriage. That is a crappy reason to get married.

 

[yeartolate]

I am totally not surprised.

Anyone with a teenager (and open eyes) would realize that making a kid take a pledge not to do something tempting was the quickest way to get them to do the behavior.

I think it is abolutely sick that schools lose federal funding if they teach anything other than abstinence only education. Good grief, give the kids the capacity to save their own lives if they do screw up, kay?

When I was growing up, unprotected sex meant a chance at pregnancy or a little penicillin for an STD. These kids are exposed to so much worse. Seriously.

 

[SundancePass]

I am not surprised at all. The Purity Pledge business creeps me out! Talk about controlling adults! What kid at 12 can honetstly have any idea what kind of pledge he/she is making? It's nuts....or just one more way adults try and the emphasis is on "try" to control their kids, IMO.

 

[Uncle Remus]

Me too- its just weird. The worst was a TV show I watched and all these little girls were making promises to their dads and the dads were all talking about their daughters remaing pure etc- it was just so creepy!

Yeah, creepy is the word.

 

[eliza61]

I thought it was a bunch of phooey when it first came out. results don't surprise me at all.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

Didn't see the piece but I think the purity stuff is weird. I actually think there is something sexual with the "promise".
It creeps me out.

Why? I learned about the True Love Waits program when I was in middle school. My two best friends were part of it. I had to beg and plead with my father for the purity ring, which I found rather amusing. Of the three of us, none of us have broken our pledge (at least that I know of). One girl's older sister melted down her ring to make her husband's wedding ring.

Perhaps the difference for us is that none of our families pressured us into it and the decision was made base purely on our beliefs. None of us are naive as to the various options out there (birth control, condoms, female condoms, etc.).

For me, there was no public ceremony. I simply chose the ring with my father. It is not an official ring, just a gold band with an amethyst heart. I doubt many people notice it or even know what it is. My father didn't make a big deal over it. In fact, the reason he didn't want to do it initially is that he said he didn't want me to make a commitment I would later regret. I have had no regrets. I am currently in a relationship with a wonderful man and we have been dating for a year. He has similar views.

The ring is for me and nobody else. It is simply a symbol of the commitment I have made to myself and to God. It is not meant to encourage others to do the same or be judgmental against others. It is simply something that is special to me. I realize the choice is a very personal one, and I frankly don't give a hoot what you choose to do or not do. You will not find my father on one of those shows talking about it. Perhaps that is the difference. Those shows only show the very fringe of the group, the ones who are the most likely to make it a huge deal. You don't hear about the ones for whom it is what it was intended to be: a quiet pledge between the teen and God.

I do not find it surprising that those who took the pledge as a group and were pressured into it are more likely to break the pledge. It also does not surprise me that these kids do not know about safe sex as they are much more likely to live in families that will not talk about such things and go to private schools where the topic is forbidden. But if the desire comes from the teen themselves and they have done their homework and have a good solid rational for their belief, then it can be a good thing. No reason to be creeped out.

 

[Castlebound]

I've told this story before but I think it needs repeating. When I was in high school I was riding a bus to a field trip somewhere and I was sitting close to a group of "church girls". That is was other people called them at the time. These girls were very popular with a certain group of boys. I overheard these girls talking. They were talking about sex, but how it really wasn't sex because it wasn't "vajay-jay" sex. They actually believed that they were still "pure". My 17 year old brain could not wrap around that logic. Lets just say that what they were talking about was more sexually adventurous than many women ever are in their lives much less than at 16 & 17.

Talk to you kids let them know that all forms of sex is sex! Waiting is great but let them know how to be safe if they don't wait!

 

[Todd&Copper]

The survey doesn't surprise me, since from what I have read it appears that in many families, these pledges of abstinance take the place of frank discussions regarding protection from STD's and birth control.

I support kids who take their pledges seriously, kids who are doing something b/c they belive so strongly, but I get the impression a lot of kids want the rings/take the pledge b/c either (1) their church youth group peer-pressure is exceedingly strong and they relent whether they believe in the pledge or not; (2) "daddy's little girl" doesn't want to disappoint her father; or (3) the Jonas Brothers and Jordin Sparks [and other popular teen & tween celebs] have the rings.

 

[JARNJ3]

I am not surprised at all. The Purity Pledge business creeps me out! Talk about controlling adults! What kid at 12 can honetstly have any idea what kind of pledge he/she is making? It's nuts....or just one more way adults try and the emphasis is on "try" to control their kids, IMO.

Exactly. I also bet you most of those parents of these kids didn't wait for marriage before "engaging."

Its religion gone amuck in this instance.......

In my humble opinion - instead of emphasizing the virginity (which, lets face it is only truly known for the girl), they should be teaching that intimacy should be involved, and you should take that step only with someone whom you truly care about........

and safely, of course....

 

[Mr Man]

Science has spoken!!!!! All hail empirical "surveys" and their "unvarnished truth"!

Since this is a foregone conclusion......I suggest we all go down to the nearest "Planned Parenthood Eugenic Carbon Reduction Center", get our "Bratz Mornin' aftah pillz" (now in a handy PEZ dispenser!) & head towards the nearest MTV Reality Show we can find (I'm holding out for "The Hills")

Fashizzle (Gesundheit!)

/s

OTOH, perhaps abstinence does have a place.......and maybe it comes from a place that surveys like this do not fully take into account. That is, as part of a faith-based morality code......not as an option on a Universal Health Coverage bill.......

 

[bicker]

... For me, there was no public ceremony. ... But if the desire comes from the teen themselves and they have done their homework and have a good solid rational for their belief, then it can be a good thing. No reason to be creeped out.

Well, if you go back to the points made about being "creeped out", you'll see that those comments were all directed at public declarations. If they were private commmitments made to one's self and not publicized, then there would be nothing to be "creeped out" about.