A stranger's child repeatedly spits in your face at the pool. How to react?

[BirdsOfPreyDave]

I had a very strange experience, tonight. I was swimming in the shallow end of the High Rock Spring pool at SSR, watching the "Movie Under the Stars." It had been a very long, hot day, and I was just kind of floating and chilling out while watching the movie from the pool. They were showing Wreck-It Ralph, and I was really enjoying it.

About half-way through the movie, a young child walks up to me and spits pool water right in my face. The child was a stranger to me, and looked to be about early elementary school age. I reacted coolly, asked him to please not spit, and even mentioned that the pool water was dirty. He laughed and ran off.

I dunked my head under water, rubbed my face, and tried not to let my germophobic tendencies get out of control. I consoled myself with the fact that we're in the last two days of our trip, so if he was sick, I probably wouldn't come down with it until after the vacation.

A few minutes later, I suddenly have a face full of spit pool water, again. This time I raised my voice, told him I wasn't playing, and sternly asked him to stop spitting. During the whole time I was watching the movie, he'd been playing in the shallow area near the steps. So far as I'd noticed, he'd been alone, and I couldn't identify an adult who appeared to be with him. He moved off after I scolded him, so I went back to watching the movie.

Yep. A third time right in the face. You'd have thought I'd have been vigilant and watching for him by then, but I was paying attention to the movie and he kept coming in from my side. This time, I stood up, towered over him, and demanded to know where his parents were. He pointed vaguely to the other side of the pool, said, "they're over there," and once more ran off. I scanned the people sitting on that side of the pool to see if anyone was reacting to this interaction, but of course, still couldn't tell who he belonged to.

The fourth time, I'm ashamed to admit, I reacted without thinking. I pushed a big wave of water into his face after he spit in my face, to which he responded with a meek, "Hey!' I outright yelled at him to get away from me, and told him if he came near me again I was going to talk to a life guard and have him removed from the pool. At this point, he started saying, "I'm very sorry," over and over again and finally left me alone. Ten minutes later, an adult came and told him to get out of the pool and took him away without ever saying anything to me. I honestly don't know if they'd seen what had been happening or not.

It's been an hour and a half since the movie ended, and I'm still sitting here stewing about it. I'm really mad at myself for having splashed him in the face, and wish I'd just gone and talked with a life guard.

 

[bwvBound]

Oh, poor Dave!

I have no particular words other than, "been there!" (Don't you hate when you think of that likely better alternative, talking with a lifeguard, too late? We've all experienced that moment of insight in hindsight.)

 

[letsgoreds]

Eh...the kid was being a little ****. I don't think he will try it again! You are more traumatized than him. He is fine, don't worry. I am a mom to two boys and can't imagine either one doing. Not OK to spit water. After the first spit, I would have told him that I just peed in the water, and after the second time, marched him over to his parents and forcing him to explain to them why I did so.

 

[bookwormde]

Can you share the approximate age?

There are a reasonable percentage of children, that due to genetics lack the innate ability to interact appropriately socially or are significantly delayed in this area even with maximum supports and social skills education, so often behave in unexpected ways to attempt to communicate and engage.

Of course it could have also been a child who from environmental reasons was well behind in social competency.

You will likely not find yourself in this situation often, but the best way to tell is to attempt engage the child in casual conversation. You will see more global social differences in children with these genetic variations

In either case the parents should have been monitoring much more closely.

 

[teachmedis]

Ugh, this literally happens to my husband and I all the time. No matter where we take our little ones we run into an ill behaved child who clings to us. We must have signs on our heads that say "Softies for poor manners, come follow and annoy us." In most cases these children appear to be completely unmonitored, no parents in sight. These children generally tend to be starved for attention and are seeking interaction of any kind. I mean, when you think about it, if parents aren't paying attention to their child while he or she is a pool, how much are they paying attention to him or her at home?

 

[grumpydad]

Can you share the approximate age?

There are a reasonable percentage of children, that due to genetics lack the innate ability to interact appropriately socially or are significantly delayed in this area even with maximum supports and social skills education, so often behave in unexpected ways to attempt to communicate and engage.

Of course it could have also been a child who from environmental reasons was well behind in social competency.

You will likely not find yourself in this situation often, but the best way to tell is to attempt engage the child in casual conversation. You will see more global social differences in children with these genetic variations

In either case the parents should have been monitoring much more closely.

Here we go, just the third reply and already making genenic excuses for the child.

This is exactly why the country and world are going down hill, someone always has an excuse for something.

Here's something a little out there, how about the parents teach him not to do stuff like that no matter what he has, and give him a good old fashion spanking if he does and not lets start on the whole how to raise your child crap. A whole generation was raise on getting there butts spanked and there fine.

I rememebr the day when if you got hit with the board od ED in school and told your parents they would ask "WELL WHAT DID U DO" and if your we stupid enough to tell the you's get another whippin.
Today it's straight to the lawyer..what a world




My children would never even attempt anything like that because they know what would happen.

 

[chateau]

I don't, do tell, what?

Swim away or take on character similar to the Mad Hatter and be unpredictable.

 

[CarolMN]

Since this really isn't a DVC topic and is already showing signs of becoming a debate, I'm closing it.

BoP Dave - Please don't be too hard on yourself. The child was not harmed by some water in the face. The unfortunate thing is that his parents were not monitoring him very well. The incident wouldn't have happened at all if they had been paying attention. That's even more important if he has special needs.