A PSA for teachers/school administrators/etc

[Eeyores Butterfly]

Oh, it's true!

Absolutely. I have one family that I have to call about everything. I actually hate talking on the phone and calling parents, but if there is even a little issue and I don't call, as soon as school is over I will get a phone call from them. We have a daily folder we send home where we give happy, straight, or sad faces and I have a place to write comments about what happened. One day the kid got a sad face because he was sent to the safe seat. It was a minor issue, I wrote what happened, thought everything was solved. I got a phone call right after school asking me why I hadn't called about the sad face.

The other issue as others have mentioned is work hours for us. Our school is early start, which means I am released by 2:40. My plan time is at 1:00, so that is when I have to do the majority of my calling. And unfortunately, with IEP meetings and what not, I have to call more than I would like.

I would never call for someting like that though. That would be put in the daily folder, and if it was not signed or continued to be a problem, only then would I call.

 

[locolala]

There are people who truely cannot talk at work. I can only call my husband at work in true emergencies, I think I've called him there twice in the year and a half we've been together. We will put his work number on the emergency card for our kids, but make sure that the schools know that it is for serious emergencies only. Heck, he works nights every other month, so if they called during the day, the folks answering the phone wouldn't even know who he was.

 

[FSUDisneyGirl]

Did the band director call your cell phone? If you can't take calls on your cell phone at work, then leave it off. That should solve the problem. If it is an emergency, the school will reach you through your work.

Frankly, I have seen a band director's job...my boyfriend is one! They probably look at dozens of instruments per day, with specific problems (Lord knows they break all the time ) , and if you are going to have to put money out, she probably wanted to talk to you to ensure that you were not cheated by paying for unnecessary repairs, and to answer any questions you may have. If I was a parent, I would be happy to have a phone message from a band director, rather then a message through my kid "I have to get my sax fixed."

 

[hentob]

When it comes to my child, you can call me about anything. Day or night.

There is nothing more important Nothing.

Thank you teachers who still contact parents!!

 

[golfgal]

It's not condescending, it's a fact. My child is almost 14 -- has been in the same school district since he started kindergarten. They have the correct info. DS told me she badgered and badgered him until he gave her my cell #. Tomorrow, that WILL be fixed.

I'll say it again -- it's a matter of common sense. I don't care if it was 1956, and moms were actually still sitting at home just hoping the phone would ring to break up their day. THINK about the information you need to relay, assess its importance, and then decide the most appropriate way to get that information across! Bleeding? Call! Tornado warning? Call! Saxophone needing repair? Hmmm....

So the teacher called your CELL phone while you were at work, you put a customer on hold to answer your CELL phone while you were at work and your are upset with the teacher because she called you "at work". I guess I am missing something in this . If the teacher "badgered" your son for your cell number and the office has all your contact info and it is all correct, why would the teacher "badger" your son. And if the teacher felt the need to "badger" your son, perhaps she sent notes home, told him to tell you and he hasn't?

Also keep in mind that just because your son said it happened that way doesn't mean it did.

 

[aprilgail2]

When it comes to my child, you can call me about anything. Day or night.

There is nothing more important Nothing.

Thank you teachers who still contact parents!!

 

[Nancyg56]

I don't know anyone that couldn't take a call like this at work. No one I know would have to fear for their job if the school called about this--unless of course they spent 8 hours on the phone with the teacher or something really silly. You could be thankful that your teacher cares enough to call. If your job is that precarious you need to call the school and let them know that work number is for emergencies only and to call your cell or home number for non-emergencies. Schools are automatically going to call a work number during the day because that is where most people that have a work number ARE during the day.

Actually there are a lot of people who cannot take calls. It has nothing to do with job security but job description. This is where communication with the teacher and the administration comes in handy. A note or email message at the beginning of the year that expresses how you are allowed to receive messages during the work day would have alleviated the problem. I know that when I was taking calls and had no outside line a message from my supervisor to go out and take or return a call from school would have sent me into a panic.

I do not envy teachers today. When my kids were young we very seldom got calls from teachers and when we did it was not usually good news

My niece is a teacher and she cannot win. Every year she needs to figure out which parent do not want calls and which ones expect a phone call, which ones like email and what do they want to be emailed about, who wants to know every detail about their child's day and which parents just want bare bones and who really does not want any communication unless there is an ambulance on the way. Not every parent gives honest answers at first so she may find out the hard way that she either called at an inconvenient time or number. Or that Mom wants to know if Little Johnny forgot his library book so the poor kid was the only one who could not borrow one. She would have flown in so his little feelings were not hurt. She has experienced these extremes in parenting style but has not always gotten the outline to follow at the beginning of the year. Either way she has had the same kind PSA delivered to her for each faux pas..

 

[phorsenuf]

Did the band director call your cell phone? If you can't take calls on your cell phone at work, then leave it off. That should solve the problem. If it is an emergency, the school will reach you through your work.

Frankly, I have seen a band director's job...my boyfriend is one! They probably look at dozens of instruments per day, with specific problems (Lord knows they break all the time ) , and if you are going to have to put money out, she probably wanted to talk to you to ensure that you were not cheated by paying for unnecessary repairs, and to answer any questions you may have. If I was a parent, I would be happy to have a phone message from a band director, rather then a message through my kid "I have to get my sax fixed."

Very true. As a mom who went through many many years as a band parent I too would welcome the call. Sometimes repairs just can't wait. If you have a broken instrument than it can effect the whole band (playing off-key etc.). Was there a playing test coming up? A concert perhaps. She probably just wanted to make sure it was something done in a timely matter so your child could resume playing the way she needed to do. Part of a students responsibility in the band is making sure their instrument is up to par. No different than having a missing textbook or incomplete project.

 

[DaParkers]

So the teacher called your CELL phone while you were at work, you put a customer on hold to answer your CELL phone while you were at work and your are upset with the teacher because she called you "at work". I guess I am missing something in this . If the teacher "badgered" your son for your cell number and the office has all your contact info and it is all correct, why would the teacher "badger" your son. And if the teacher felt the need to "badger" your son, perhaps she sent notes home, told him to tell you and he hasn't?

Also keep in mind that just because your son said it happened that way doesn't mean it did.

My question to the op is "How was the teacher supposed to know that you were at work if you answered your cell phone?" Maybe the teacher wanted to leave a message. And maybe they thought it was important because money is involved. For most people, spending money is a stressful thing. Maybe the teacher just wanted you to know sooner, rather than later. There's a lot of maybe's.

 

[laurie31]

I don't know anyone that couldn't take a call like this at work. No one I know would have to fear for their job if the school called about this--unless of course they spent 8 hours on the phone with the teacher or something really silly. You could be thankful that your teacher cares enough to call. If your job is that precarious you need to call the school and let them know that work number is for emergencies only and to call your cell or home number for non-emergencies. Schools are automatically going to call a work number during the day because that is where most people that have a work number ARE during the day.

Not to derail the thread, but I once tried to call a parent at work and her manager would NOT let her come to the phone. I was the nurse taking care of her hospitalized baby, and I needed her to give consent for surgery. I would put that in the list of things it would be appropriate to call someone at work for. But I argued and argued with this guy and he would not let the mom come to the phone. I don't know if he thought I was a prank call or what. The operation wasn't life and death (or we could have done it without consent) but sheesh. We don't operate on babies without a good reason. She needed the surgery. I don't know what happened on the next shift, but I know I did not get to talk to that mom.

So yes, there are jobs where you CAN'T get personal calls, apparently even if it's quite serious.

As for the OP, I'm kind of divided. I would agree that if the kid is old enough (and responsible enough) to play an instrument in the school band, they can manage to get a note home that their instrument needs repair. However, I also agree (being the mom of a flute player and a clarinet player) that it would be nice to hear it from the band director, along with an estimate of how much she thinks it will cost and where/who she recommends to have it done. DD13's flute needed something fixed recently, and her teacher gave me the name of someone who could do it cheaper than the music store and she trusted them to do a good job. I appreciated that. But she didn't call me at work to tell me about it.

I'll be interested to hear the update after the OP talks to the band director (and hears the other side of the story).

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

When it comes to my child, you can call me about anything. Day or night.

There is nothing more important Nothing.

Thank you teachers who still contact parents!!

Well then you must just love your child more than I love mine. Because I expect my child to be responsible and I expect not to get calls about just "anything."

I've got 3 kids...2 in college, 1 in HS. DH and I have gone to every open house and every parent/teacher conference over the years, even tho we've never had problems with our kids in school. We want to get to know the teachers and we want them to know we care about our kids' education. We have had great relationships with our kids' teachers, partly because they don't have to "deal" with anything regarding them. Being responsible for their work and their behavior has been a HUGE focus of how we raised our kids. They're great students (not perfect ) and not just because they're smart, but because they're responsible. I don't have to babysit them through projects and assignments, and neither do their teachers.

Part of a students responsibility in the band is making sure their instrument is up to par. No different than having a missing textbook or incomplete project.

Couldn't agree with you more.

In the OP's situation, I would expect my child to convey to me that the instrument needs to be fixed. If I have further questions, I'll contact the teacher. I'd also let the teacher/school know of a more appropriate/convenient way to be contacted, if necessary.

I'm a SAHM, and if I got a call at home or on my cell phone about this, I'd probably respond " Did you tell him?? "

 

[mrs_hower726]

Very true. As a mom who went through many many years as a band parent I too would welcome the call. Sometimes repairs just can't wait. If you have a broken instrument than it can effect the whole band (playing off-key etc.). Was there a playing test coming up? A concert perhaps. She probably just wanted to make sure it was something done in a timely matter so your child could resume playing the way she needed to do. Part of a students responsibility in the band is making sure their instrument is up to par. No different than having a missing textbook or incomplete project.

Did the band director call your cell phone? If you can't take calls on your cell phone at work, then leave it off. That should solve the problem. If it is an emergency, the school will reach you through your work.

Frankly, I have seen a band director's job...my boyfriend is one! They probably look at dozens of instruments per day, with specific problems (Lord knows they break all the time ) , and if you are going to have to put money out, she probably wanted to talk to you to ensure that you were not cheated by paying for unnecessary repairs, and to answer any questions you may have. If I was a parent, I would be happy to have a phone message from a band director, rather then a message through my kid "I have to get my sax fixed."

So the teacher called your CELL phone while you were at work, you put a customer on hold to answer your CELL phone while you were at work and your are upset with the teacher because she called you "at work". I guess I am missing something in this . If the teacher "badgered" your son for your cell number and the office has all your contact info and it is all correct, why would the teacher "badger" your son. And if the teacher felt the need to "badger" your son, perhaps she sent notes home, told him to tell you and he hasn't?

Also keep in mind that just because your son said it happened that way doesn't mean it did.

I agree with all of the above posters. Take your cell phone off the list if you don't want people to call you at that number. But don't say that the teacher just didn't think. She has a million other things on her plate and when it comes to issues involving money, I'm making phone calls too to explain what is wrong with the instrument, the best place to take it that will be fixed quickly and cheaply. A note or e-mail does not suffice in this case, most of the time you get a call the next day from the parent anyways.

 

[golfgal]

Not to derail the thread, but I once tried to call a parent at work and her manager would NOT let her come to the phone. I was the nurse taking care of her hospitalized baby, and I needed her to give consent for surgery. I would put that in the list of things it would be appropriate to call someone at work for. But I argued and argued with this guy and he would not let the mom come to the phone. I don't know if he thought I was a prank call or what. The operation wasn't life and death (or we could have done it without consent) but sheesh. We don't operate on babies without a good reason. She needed the surgery. I don't know what happened on the next shift, but I know I did not get to talk to that mom.

So yes, there are jobs where you CAN'T get personal calls, apparently even if it's quite serious.

As for the OP, I'm kind of divided. I would agree that if the kid is old enough (and responsible enough) to play an instrument in the school band, they can manage to get a note home that their instrument needs repair. However, I also agree (being the mom of a flute player and a clarinet player) that it would be nice to hear it from the band director, along with an estimate of how much she thinks it will cost and where/who she recommends to have it done. DD13's flute needed something fixed recently, and her teacher gave me the name of someone who could do it cheaper than the music store and she trusted them to do a good job. I appreciated that. But she didn't call me at work to tell me about it.

I'll be interested to hear the update after the OP talks to the band director (and hears the other side of the story).

I understand this-the OP made a comment that no one can take calls at work and that one person that could should be the one to change their contact information at the school, not her. I was pointing out that I didn't know anyone that couldn't take calls at work and she was the one that was the exception not the rule.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I couldn't agree more. That said, do you know how many times I've faced irate parents because I didn't call home when:

- the child failed a test
- the child had a minor bloody nose that stopped within minutes
- the child got into the scuffle with another child
- the child hadn't returned a field trip form
- the child forget their agenda
- the child was coughing, sneezing, sleepy, etc.
- the child was sent out of the classroom for inappropriate behavior
- and on, and on, and on...

Some parents want to be personally informed of EVERY TINY THING while others don't want the call except for emergencies. There really is no way to win...

I don't think your list is of things that you shouldn't call a parent for. With the exception of a forgotten agenda and maybe a failed test you should be calling the parents. If my child had a scuffle at school, a bloody nose, was sick, fresh etc. I should be notified.
Of course I don't see what the big deal was that the school called the OP at work. Unless she is in the CIA I doubt a phone message is a big deal. Why not thank the teacher for letting you know?

ETA- if you can't talk to the school during work hours then put someone who can on the contact list.

 

[declansdad]

It's not condescending, it's a fact. My child is almost 14 -- has been in the same school district since he started kindergarten. They have the correct info. DS told me she badgered and badgered him until he gave her my cell #. Tomorrow, that WILL be fixed.

I'll say it again -- it's a matter of common sense. I don't care if it was 1956, and moms were actually still sitting at home just hoping the phone would ring to break up their day. THINK about the information you need to relay, assess its importance, and then decide the most appropriate way to get that information across! Bleeding? Call! Tornado warning? Call! Saxophone needing repair? Hmmm....

I think you need to tell the school that you can only take non-emergency calls at work.

If you answered your cell phone at work while you were busy with customers, the boss should have a problem with you not the school.

 

[Gina]

So the teacher called your CELL phone while you were at work, you put a customer on hold to answer your CELL phone while you were at work and your are upset with the teacher because she called you "at work". I guess I am missing something in this . If the teacher "badgered" your son for your cell number and the office has all your contact info and it is all correct, why would the teacher "badger" your son. And if the teacher felt the need to "badger" your son, perhaps she sent notes home, told him to tell you and he hasn't?

Also keep in mind that just because your son said it happened that way doesn't mean it did.

The office has all my correct info, and, as others have already suggested, they *do* have a note stating that I can be contacted only in emergencies. They do NOT have my cell phone number, because the times my son is at school, I am at work. If he's at an extra-curricular activity, I'm at home. And if DS himself needed to call me for some reason, he has his own cell phone.

No one has my cell # except for those I choose to give it to. I answered the phone when it rang because it had the school's phone number on the caller ID, and I was afraid it was my son and something had happened. (His cell phone has to stay off and in his backpack during the day, so he would use the school phone.)

So that is what happened. Any more interrogation?

In today's economy, with good jobs as generally scarce as they are, ANYONE who assumes that it is okay to call someone at work for a non-emergency without explicit approval ahead of time is, frankly, an idiot. A true idiot, and someone who might very well get someone fired. Is that really worth calling a parent to tell them that little Johnny owes the library a quarter for an overdue book, or something equally as ridiculous? Would you really want that on your head as a teacher?

If kids don't give parents notes from school, then that's a separate issue. DS and I have "What do I need to see, sign, or know about" time every single night. That's my job as a parent, and he has consequences to pay if for some reason I don't get a note. One time he missed a field trip to a really cool place because he forgot to give me the permission slip. I could have faxed it over at the last minute, but he wouldn't have learned very much from that. I can say that it hasn't happened again.

I'm very fortunate that I have a good job with a company I like, and a pretty understanding boss, and I do not want to jeopardize that. I ask again: Why, in this day and age, even ASSUME that it's ok to call someone at work?

 

[Mouse House Mama]

The office has all my correct info, and, as others have already suggested, they *do* have a note stating that I can be contacted only in emergencies. They do NOT have my cell phone number, because the times my son is at school, I am at work. If he's at an extra-curricular activity, I'm at home. And if DS himself needed to call me for some reason, he has his own cell phone.

No one has my cell # except for those I choose to give it to. I answered the phone when it rang because it had the school's phone number on the caller ID, and I was afraid it was my son and something had happened. (His cell phone has to stay off and in his backpack during the day, so he would use the school phone.)

So that is what happened. Any more interrogation?

In today's economy, with good jobs as generally scarce as they are, ANYONE who assumes that it is okay to call someone at work for a non-emergency without explicit approval ahead of time is, frankly, an idiot. A true idiot, and someone who might very well get someone fired. Is that really worth calling a parent to tell them that little Johnny owes the library a quarter for an overdue book, or something equally as ridiculous? Would you really want that on your head as a teacher?

If kids don't give parents notes from school, then that's a separate issue. DS and I have "What do I need to see, sign, or know about" time every single night. That's my job as a parent, and he has consequences to pay if for some reason I don't get a note. One time he missed a field trip to a really cool place because he forgot to give me the permission slip. I could have faxed it over at the last minute, but he wouldn't have learned very much from that. I can say that it hasn't happened again.

I'm very fortunate that I have a good job with a company I like, and a pretty understanding boss, and I do not want to jeopardize that. I ask again: Why, in this day and age, even ASSUME that it's ok to call someone at work?

Then I guess that makes me and just about everyone I know "true idiots" because we would have no problem with the school calling. I do agree that the teacher should not have badgered your son to get your cell phone number but getting this angry over a phone call from school seems a bit extreme. I don't know what you do for a living but if they called your job a message could have been taken. They called your cellphone (which the way they got the info was wrong) but since you had it on you I would imagine that taking a call wouldn't be a big deal.

Just a question- are you posting from work?

 

[bumbershoot]

Gina, I'm with you.



I never got injured or sick at school, but I was a latchkey kid who was in charge very young b/c our mom couldn't get a decent sitter. We did have a neighbor who watched out for us, but he was just a caring guy (who was madly in love with my mom), not a sitter.

Most of my mom's jobs, she could not take phone calls except for emergencies. So we had to think VERY carefully about calling her. Therefore, except for the time when my brother and I got into a fight about folding laundry, and I ended up losing the end of my finger in a door slamming accident (our neighbor was on his way over to take us out for the day...it was summer), she didn't get calls! When that incident happened she worked at a winery. She was only in the office maybe half the day; the other half she was out and about on the grounds. So if someone had called during that time, they would have had to go find her and bring her back to the phone...to do that for something silly...just not good.


If a person sees a school number pop up on a phone, they will assume, especially if they have told the school the appropriate ways to contact them, that it is an emergency. Therefore, they will put a customer on hold to take that call. To find out it's NOT an emergency is not good.


Especially for the OP's school, where they have all the info, each teacher got the info...the teachers need to remember to check it. But then, my teachers could never remember to check their books for what my mom's last name was, so maybe I'm just expecting too much. Definitely not a majority of good teacher experiences in my past...

 

[glitterkittyy]

If your son is like my daughter, it could be that the teacher had tried to send word via notes and/or messages sent with your son. My daughter's orchestra teacher told her for over a week that she needed a new string on her viola. She "forgot" for 6 school days until he finally called me.

She's getting a B on her report card instead of an A because of it. And that's what she deserves. It may seem like no big deal, but at some point, it impacts their ability to do their work. My daughter learned her lesson because she hates that she's getting a lower grade because of her "memory problem".