A Plea: People Posting Confidentially

[DEA]

Given that you seem to agree that the "disguise" is useless, wouldn't you be better to suggest that they stop posting, rather than trying to tell everyone else how to act?

I do not agree that it is useless. It may be transparent to people who know the particulars of a poster's life, but to most people, it will mask the identity quite well... unless someone else says, "Hey, aren't you..."

I am not trying to tell people how to act. I have asked. I even said "please" multiple times. Just calling attention to the fact that people who want privacy would probably prefer to remain private.

 

[DWGal210]

This is how I feel too.

Good manners, common sense, and moral standards are only useful to those that have them. Good luck trying to change those that don't.

It's a nice thought to want that OP.

Amen!! Can we embroider this on a pillow?!

Some people are born with the genes for tact & kindness; some aren't.

 

[CurlyGirl]

Please note that I did not start this thread with a reference to ANY particular previous thread. I did not want to call attention to a thread, only to a pattern of behavior I have witnessed.

Well then, your timing is absolutely lousy! lol!!!

 

[jrmasm]

That sounds a little like blaming the victim. I suggested that they were trying to minimize the risk. There are 80,000+ people on the board (someone else threw out this figure), so the chances of it being any particular poster is 1/80,000. It's the personal information that leads people to their guesses about identity, not the identification that the poster is one of the tens of thousands of people on the boards.

I would also suggest that people who say that are actually saying, "You might know who I am, but I am trying to maintain some separation by posting this under a different username. Please respect that rather than take it as a challenge."



And if you did so in a community where you had some level of trust with people, some folks might actually try to get you safely out of the street and home into bed, and suggest to you gently that you not do that sort of thing anymore.

I think that's what some of the people who post here under an assumed name might need, rather than to be left in the street, have their pictures taken and put on the front page of the local newspaper, and have video of it posted on YouTube.

That's not blaming the victim, that being in touch with reality.

And explain to me why anyone would have any level of trust with 80,000 + faceless strangers?

Just because people should behave better doesn't eliminate our responsibility to be smart about our own actions.

 

[2girls4me]

I have a different plea. If you have something so private you don't want your already obscure online persona associated with it the Internet is probably not the right place to put it.

Just sayin'

Completely agree.

And to add, I don't get the people that need to be incognito anyway. Like everyone stalks your posts all the time.

 

[DWGal210]

Again, why follow another person so much. Do you really have that much time?

No kidding. I can barely remember things in MY own life. Like today, when I went through the Starbucks drive thru & then remembered I'd used my wallet & didn't put it back in my purse. Story of my life.

 

[CurlyGirl]

Completely agree.

And to add, I don't get the people that need to be incognito anyway. Like everyone stalks your posts all the time.

Apparently, there are people who stalk other posts ...

 

[Anne34]

Yeah, that's kind of funny. My husband wouldn't be caught dead wasting his on time on a message board.

 

[cm8]

Apparently, there are people who stalk other posts ...

And it's not the Board-tracker or the Tag Fairy either

 

[ilovemk76]

Here's another nice feature about internet message boards, the Quote Button:

WOW you are talented!!! I still have not gotten a single PM, even from Mrs. Snarky, so both of my statements are true.

 

[ilovemk76]

Well then, your timing is absolutely lousy! lol!!!

 

[DEA]

Well then, your timing is absolutely lousy! lol!!!

Right. It's my timing's fault. Sorry about that.

That's not blaming the victim, that being in touch with reality.

And explain to me why anyone would have any level of trust with 80,000 + faceless strangers?

Just because people should behave better doesn't eliminate our responsibility to be smart about our own actions.

If you say that something someone innocently did brought unwanted attention to them, then, yes, it is blaming the victim. Again, I take the line "I am posting under a different ID" not as a challenge, but as a signal that they would not like to be identified in relation to the content being posted.

People would have that level of trust with the people here with whom they interact frequently. They may not all be faceless strangers. I know what several people who post here actually look like. I have had meals with them. I have gone to museums with them. I value their opinions.

They clearly do NOT trust the 80,000+ people with their identity, or else they would not have posted anonymously. However, they do trust those who know them well enough to figure it out will not reveal their identity. And, yes, someone else may figure it out who is not in that circle, but that just means that they might be mistaken about the information they choose to disseminate not being traceable. Does that mean that they need to have their privacy violated publicly, just because they made a mistake?

If I understand your contention correctly, no one should post anything that they want to be private on the Internet. Is that correct? I am starting from the fact that people do post information that is private on the Internet, and that this drive to unmask people who are doing what they can to protect their identities seems to me to be misguided. People have seen a value in getting help here. You can debate their wisdom in doing so, but it is a separate discussion.

 

[Uncle Remus]

WOW you are talented!!! I still have not gotten a single PM, even from Mrs. Snarky, so both of my statements are true.

Who's Mrs. Snarky?

 

[LuvsDragonflies]

How about if you think you know who the anonymous poster really is, you show respect and keep quiet about it. You only show your true colors when you "deliberately" out them.

 

[stashbin]

How about if you think you know who the anonymous poster really is, you show respect and keep quiet about it. You only show your true colors when you "deliberately" out them.

I couldn't agree more. I think some people just have a sinister side to them. Like they are waiting on oportunities to pounce on others in a moment of weakness.
I might not agree with what an anonymous poster is posting, but I would never out them. What would be the payoff in that?

 

[jrmasm]

If I understand your contention correctly, no one should post anything that they want to be private on the Internet. Is that correct?

Yes, that is correct. The end.

 

[DEA]

Please look at my original post. Now look at your response in this thread.

Which one has information about the specific topic content (not the fact that someone was attempting to post under an assumed name, but the actual issue being discussed) of another thread?

 

[DEA]

Who's Mrs. Snarky?

Honest to goodness, for a while there, I thought it was me.

 

[FireDancer]

If I understand your contention correctly, no one should post anything that they want to be private on the Internet.

Yes yes yes a million times yes. I have said here many times, usually on threads about Facebook, that no one should ever post anything online that they don't want every single person on Earth reading or seeing. If you don't want your spouse, future spouse, children, future children, boss, or future boss to see a picture or read something don't put it anywhere online.

Even if you post it somewhere private it can get out. Someone with permission to see it could post it somewhere public (on purpose or by accident), anything going through public servers gets cached, the administrators of sites accidentally over-ride privacy settings all the time exposing information to the public. They usually find it and correct it but in that time it could have been aggregated to some other site. You can post something you think is anonymous but unless you go through very complex steps to hide your true identity which includes your source IP, region, and stuff way more complicated than making up a user name on a message board you have a chance of that veil of anonymity being pulled back and your identity exposed.

These are all things I consider basic facts of the Internet that everyone should know before climbing onto the Information superhighway.

 

[hambirg]

Right. It's my timing's fault. Sorry about that.



If you say that something someone innocently did brought unwanted attention to them, then, yes, it is blaming the victim. Again, I take the line "I am posting under a different ID" not as a challenge, but as a signal that they would not like to be identified in relation to the content being posted.

People would have that level of trust with the people here with whom they interact frequently. They may not all be faceless strangers. I know what several people who post here actually look like. I have had meals with them. I have gone to museums with them. I value their opinions.

They clearly do NOT trust the 80,000+ people with their identity, or else they would not have posted anonymously. However, they do trust those who know them well enough to figure it out will not reveal their identity. And, yes, someone else may figure it out who is not in that circle, but that just means that they might be mistaken about the information they choose to disseminate not being traceable. Does that mean that they need to have their privacy violated publicly, just because they made a mistake?

If I understand your contention correctly, no one should post anything that they want to be private on the Internet. Is that correct? I am starting from the fact that people do post information that is private on the Internet, and that this drive to unmask people who are doing what they can to protect their identities seems to me to be misguided. People have seen a value in getting help here. You can debate their wisdom in doing so, but it is a separate discussion.

Nobody is violating their privacy except them. Nobody is forcing them to put their private business out there. They do it themselves.

And as to the second bolded, yes. . . .YES!!!

The way I see it, a user ID on a message board is fairly anonymous anyway. If you have to create an alias to veil your anonymous user ID, that should be a sign to you that you probably shouldn't be posting whatever it is. If it is so personal in nature that you have to create another ID to hide your already anonymous user ID, then it's too personal in nature to be posting on the internet.

As far as outing someone. .. maybe it's a friendly reminder to the OP that they aren't as anonymous as they think they are. . .kinda like a PSA.