A Plea: People Posting Confidentially

[ols386]

No, I don't think it is all that rude. I suspect I've probably outed some people on message boards before but I really can't recall one right now.

As far as here, as long as they aren't breaking DIS guidelines I don't have a problem with what somebody posts. If I think they are wrong or rude and it disturbs me enough, I'll tell them so. I really didn't see a problem with this mornings reveal to tell you the truth. On a scale of rudeness I've always felt much more uncomfortable with people who bring private marital and medical issues to such a large public forum. If my spouse did something like that to me, I'd consider it really rude.

Which is what some of us are doing now.

 

[jrmasm]

If you truly want something to remain private, of course, you can't really tell anyone, can you? However, what you say sounds to me a little like saying that paying with a credit card at a public restaurant is stupid because someone might steal the card and use it. Yes, it could happen, but you take steps to provide yourself security. People who are asking for help using a different username from their usual are doing just that.

And, of course, there are people who refuse to use credit cards for just the reason above. Those are the people who do not ask private questions in this community. That doesn't stop a lot of people for paying for their meals with credit cards.

I think that's a terrible analogy. Sorry.

 

[NY Disney fan]

The poster could have felt they had nowhere to turn but to strangers.

Seriously, I agree. With counselors you need to wait for an appointment. Sometimes people need an ear right away. Sometimes people on the Disboards are so mean.

 

[Liberty Belle]

For the same reason that you or anybody else did not feel the need to send a PM.

Why did others quote my post and then comment when a PM would have done the same? We all know the answer. To show their superiority but in reality they made one small line stand out to all.

If I thought the person were giving too much info and wanted to remain confidential, I would have?

 

[ilovemk76]

Just wondering if "outing" someone gives you pleasure? I have enough going on in my own life than to keep up with internet aliases and tattle on them.

Did posting this give you pleasure?

 

[pacrosby]

I'm alittle confused. As I see it there are two issues here:

1) should people discuss their private personal problems online with strangers

2) should people feel they are entitled to 'out' others who are trying to remain anonymous while discussing their privatre personal problems online with strangers

One really has nothing to do with the other.

Anyone who would purposely reveal the identity of another who is trying to remain anonymous has problems of their own. That's just mean-spirited and childish.

 

[dzorn]

Saying you know who they are does not mean you posted their name.

Nor do it mean they are right.

Denise in MI

 

[Liberty Belle]

Seriously, I agree. With counselors you need to wait for an appointment. Sometimes people need an ear right away. Sometimes people on the Disboards are so mean.

Exactly.

+ Counselors can be expensive
+ They may not be confortable going to a counselor
+ They may want to explore both resources
+ They may be looking for someone who's gone through a similar situation

 

[ilovemk76]

If I thought the person were giving too much info and wanted to remain confidential, I would have?

I was talking about a PM to me. I might have removed the post if I had gotten even one PM but as soon as the "police" showed up I decided to let it stay.

 

[DEA]

If you need help from a doctor go to a doctor. If you need help from a counselor go to a counselor. If you need help from a lawyer go to a lawyer.

If someone is posting here, they want help from people posting here. You may have gone elsewhere; they came here.

I'm not saying that posting general or generic requests for advice for these things here is wrong but if you have something so private that you don't want it on the Internet don't put it on the Internet, even under a false persona.

They do want it on the Internet. That's why they put in on the forums here. What they do not want, and have taken pains to avoid, is to have their online identity here associated with the issue about which they are asking.

The bottom line is you can't control what other people do with the information you put out there so if you aren't willing to accept that fact don't put it out there in the first place.

Again, people find some value in the opinions of people on these boards, in many different realms. If they come here for help, and post "anonymously" (although there's no such thing), is it that big a problem to let them have the room to explore the issue without calling attention to their true identity?

 

[Uncle Remus]

I was talking about a PM to me. I might have removed the post if I had gotten even one PM but as soon as the "police" showed up I decided to let it stay.

I think the only person you outed was yourself.

 

[ilovemk76]

Nor do it mean they are right.

Denise in MI

True.

I do wonder how many of the "holier" group then did a search to find out who it was.

 

[Robinrs]

I think the only person you outed was yourself.

One mo time... Have I TOLD YOU LATELY that I LOVE YOU????

 

[Liberty Belle]

I was talking about a PM to me. I might have removed the post if I had gotten even one PM but as soon as the "police" showed up I decided to let it stay.

Oh, I see. I guess I thought you were being snarky, so felt it was ok to respond out in the open?

 

[Uncle Remus]

One mo time... Have I TOLD YOU LATELY that I LOVE YOU????

<<<<<< I outed myself too.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I think the only person you outed was yourself.

 

[DEA]

I think that's a terrible analogy. Sorry.

No need to be sorry. Here's what I was trying to get across:

1. You want something (meal or advice)
2. You need to provide something (payment or username)
3. You run a risk (credit card being stolen or problem associated with your identity)
4. You try to minimize the risk (do not leave credit card on table or use a second, novel username to ask for help)

In both cases, people can try to minimize the risk more, but in both cases they are taking steps to minimize it.

Where is the analogy breaking down for you?

 

[ilovemk76]

Oh, I see. I guess I thought you were being snarky, so felt it was ok to respond out in the open?

You know what they say when you assume.

I was not being snarky. I was just stating a fact.

 

[FireDancer]

I
Again, people find some value in the opinions of people on these boards, in many different realms. If they come here for help, and post "anonymously" (although there's no such thing), is it that big a problem to let them have the room to explore the issue without calling attention to their true identity?

I have never and would never out someone posting anonymously. But I can't control what anyone else does and neither can you or the OP in an anonymous thread. That is my point.

If you start an anonymous thread like the ones you are describing there is a change someone will figure out your real identity and post it or hint at it. That is a risk you are knowingly taking because you can't control what anyone else does.

Complaining after it happens is not going to help. In fact the people who kept quoting and chastising the person who "outed" the anonymous person in the thread you are talking about probably called more attention to the anonymous person's identity than the original outing did anyway. I hadn't even looked at that thread until this one was started and I wanted to see what it was about.

 

[elgerber]

I'm alittle confused. As I see it there are two issues here:

1) should people discuss their private personal problems online with strangers

2) should people feel they are entitled to 'out' others who are trying to remain anonymous while discussing their privatre personal problems online with strangers

One really has nothing to do with the other.

Anyone who would purposely reveal the identity of another who is trying to remain anonymous has problems of their own. That's just mean-spirited and childish.

I agree, two separate issues.