Not a newbie...but I know some family reads here so thought I'd better hide. 
I created this screen name a while ago (also when needing to hide). Plus I figured I'd see how popular I am by how many people can figure it out! 
Some background: My SO's mom just had surgery (2 weeks ago...it was nothing life threatening), and we had not been to visit her since she came home. The reason for this is that everytime I would suggest we go over there, my SO would say no (VERY vehemently). Since it's his mom, it's his call, and so I'd be quiet and wait a few more days, then ask again. Still no. He wouldn't tell me why at first, and then finally I got out of him that when he spoke to his dad and brother on the phone, they were both upset with her (apparently she was cranky) and being around her made everyone tense. So he didn't want to put me and DD in that situation.
So on Sunday, we went over there for his dad's birthday. We were there, his brother's family was there, and his mom and dad. It was a slightly tense situation all evening. Finally, about 9pm, SO says we need to go because DD should have been in bed an hour ago, and she is fussy at this point because of it. His mom says, "Oh, stay and play some cards. I'll feed her and get her to go to sleep." SO is not happy with that answer, and says again that we really need to go. At this point his brother asks him to look at something on his new car, so SO goes outside with him.
Now DD finally fusses herself to sleep and his mom just continues to hold her since there's nowhere to put her down. SO comes in from looking at the car and says to me, "Ok, I loaded the car, you ready?" His mom says, "You're leaving?" He responds, "Yes, we need to get her home and in bed". His mom responds (in best sarcastic tone) with, "Oh, yeah, she really looks like she's eager to go."
At this point SO gets irked, takes DD, tells me to grab the diaper bag, and walks out. I call out a goodbye as I leave and we go.
Now I am SUPER stressed about this whole thing. There has been no contact between us and them since, and my stomach is in knots about it. I know his mom is probably PO'd about us leaving, but SO says she needs to learn to respect our decisions as parents and get over it. I know he's right, but I hate unresolved family conflict. If this had been my mom, I'd have had it out right there, with a few well worded, polite but firm sentences about how she needed to respect our decisions as parents and we were leaving. It would have been all cleared up, and we'd have been all fine. But I can't do that with his parents...it's not my place.
*sigh* I'm not looking forward to our next interaction.
I created this screen name a while ago (also when needing to hide). Plus I figured I'd see how popular I am by how many people can figure it out! Some background: My SO's mom just had surgery (2 weeks ago...it was nothing life threatening), and we had not been to visit her since she came home. The reason for this is that everytime I would suggest we go over there, my SO would say no (VERY vehemently). Since it's his mom, it's his call, and so I'd be quiet and wait a few more days, then ask again. Still no. He wouldn't tell me why at first, and then finally I got out of him that when he spoke to his dad and brother on the phone, they were both upset with her (apparently she was cranky) and being around her made everyone tense. So he didn't want to put me and DD in that situation.
So on Sunday, we went over there for his dad's birthday. We were there, his brother's family was there, and his mom and dad. It was a slightly tense situation all evening. Finally, about 9pm, SO says we need to go because DD should have been in bed an hour ago, and she is fussy at this point because of it. His mom says, "Oh, stay and play some cards. I'll feed her and get her to go to sleep." SO is not happy with that answer, and says again that we really need to go. At this point his brother asks him to look at something on his new car, so SO goes outside with him.
Now DD finally fusses herself to sleep and his mom just continues to hold her since there's nowhere to put her down. SO comes in from looking at the car and says to me, "Ok, I loaded the car, you ready?" His mom says, "You're leaving?" He responds, "Yes, we need to get her home and in bed". His mom responds (in best sarcastic tone) with, "Oh, yeah, she really looks like she's eager to go."
At this point SO gets irked, takes DD, tells me to grab the diaper bag, and walks out. I call out a goodbye as I leave and we go.
Now I am SUPER stressed about this whole thing. There has been no contact between us and them since, and my stomach is in knots about it. I know his mom is probably PO'd about us leaving, but SO says she needs to learn to respect our decisions as parents and get over it. I know he's right, but I hate unresolved family conflict. If this had been my mom, I'd have had it out right there, with a few well worded, polite but firm sentences about how she needed to respect our decisions as parents and we were leaving. It would have been all cleared up, and we'd have been all fine. But I can't do that with his parents...it's not my place.
*sigh* I'm not looking forward to our next interaction.
