I received this in an email the other day. It is too cute not to share.
This is called the MAN DECODER (If women would use this it would save several arguments, not to mention marriages):
Men say: "I'm going fishing."
Translated: "I'm going to stand by a stream (or in a boat) with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."
________________________________________
Men say: "It's a guy thing."
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
________________________________________
Men say: "I can't find it."
Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
________________________________________
Men say: "Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
________________________________________
Men say: "It would take too long to explain"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works.
________________________________________
Men say: "I was listening to you. It's just that I have things on my mind."
Translated: "I was wondering why bass boats don't come in 8' lengths to fit in a truck bed."
________________________________________
Men say: "Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Translated: "I can't hear the football over the vacuum cleaner."
________________________________________
Men say: "That's interesting, dear."
Translated: "Are you still talking?"
________________________________________
Men say: "It's a really good movie."
Translated: "It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and beautiful women."
________________________________________
Men say: "That's women's work."
Translated: "It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."
________________________________________
Men say: "You know how bad my memory is."
Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'MASH', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the number plate of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
________________________________________
Men say: "Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."
________________________________________
Men say: "Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
Translated: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
________________________________________
Men say: "What did I do this time?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"
________________________________________
Men say: "You know I could never love anyone else."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."
________________________________________
Men say: "You look terrific."
Translated: "Please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."
________________________________________
Men say: "I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."
________________________________________
Men say: "We share the housework."
Translated: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."