.....................

[Va-bear]

Yes, make a BIG show of it when the books arrive and tell her your 'summer reading goal' of reading them all before Labor Day....BUT, how VERY sad it is, since reading always makes you fall fast asleep. Then whenever she comes over BE ASLEEP!!! VERY ASLEEP!! (Your nap idea earlier was genius - stick w/ it - the less exposure we all get to evil the better...)

Good luck w/ this!

 

[C.Ann]

 

[Rora]

Sounds like you need a big hug and a vacation.

"Said Person" really sounds awful and I am so sorry for you.

I wish I had some advice but all I can give is this:

 

[phorsenuf]

I really don't get why you are putting yourself through all this. Just tell then to leave, plain and simple. I just don't get why you are allowing it.

 

[SaraJayne]

I really don't get why you are putting yourself through all this. Just tell then to leave, plain and simple. I just don't get why you are allowing it.

But there wouldn't be any drama if she ignored her or told her to leave.

That isn't any fun.

 

[momof1princess]

at first, this thread was fun and humorous, sort of a "how outrageous can G be today" sort of thing...it's not fun or humorous anymore. OP, i know you're trying to salvage a friendship, but is this friendship REALLY worth what your family is going through right now? you're hostages in your own homes! it is time, in no uncertain terms, to tell "G" that you and your family are NOT her babysitters, pharmacy, firewood supply, entertainment, grocery store, chauffeurs, or anything else, for that matter. she needs to rent a car, get her own firewood, food and pills and leave you all ALONE! she acts this way because others indulge and allow her behavior. you seem like a very nice, understanding person, and you've put up with far more than anyone should have to endure, IMHO. if your friend doesn't understand, they aren't much of a friend. whatever you decide to do, i hope your situation improves.

 

[shortbun]

Man, I would take my daughter and her family and leave for about 3 nights leaving this horrible person totally on their own with no supplies, no car and her kitten, children to deal with. Seriously, leave to preserve your relationship with your friend coming on the 29th. I just would NOT put up with what you are. Completely understand why you mended fences quickly last year. This year is different; this terror is ruining your sanctuary.

 

[Terry36]

Man, I would take my daughter and her family and leave for about 3 nights leaving this horrible person totally on their own with no supplies, no car and her kitten, children to deal with. Seriously, leave to preserve your relationship with your friend coming on the 29th. I just would NOT put up with what you are. Completely understand why you mended fences quickly last year. This year is different; this terror is ruining your sanctuary.

DITTO...

You guys are allowing her to make you miserable. I think NOT!

 

[HM]

What I don't understand is how someone who has done this 'vacation' before, can be so clueless about what she'll need. Why is it that she feels like she can ask other for car rides, food, medicine, firewood, etc? Surely she AND HER HUSBAND, knew what this kind of camping entailed and would have prepared themselves beforehand.

And then her husband leaves her there for a week. Want to bet he's enjoying himself somewhere without her needy butt?

I'm really sorry that you've been put in this position. I'd break ties with the whole thing, pack up trailer and go home. I'd plan to go somewhere else next year too.

No friendship would be worth what you are going through. If your good friend can't get past you now wanting to do things with her niece, then too bad.

 

[C.Ann]

 

[Dictator]

sounds like a one sided friendship to me.

 

[Scurvy]

at first, this thread was fun and humorous, sort of a "how outrageous can G be today" sort of thing...it's not fun or humorous anymore. OP, i know you're trying to salvage a friendship, but is this friendship REALLY worth what your family is going through right now? you're hostages in your own homes! it is time, in no uncertain terms, to tell "G" that you and your family are NOT her babysitters, pharmacy, firewood supply, entertainment, grocery store, chauffeurs, or anything else, for that matter. she needs to rent a car, get her own firewood, food and pills and leave you all ALONE! she acts this way because others indulge and allow her behavior. you seem like a very nice, understanding person, and you've put up with far more than anyone should have to endure, IMHO. if your friend doesn't understand, they aren't much of a friend. whatever you decide to do, i hope your situation improves.

I've been lurking and keeping up with this thread because I love stories about outrageously rude people, and this person sounds like a doozy. I have to agree with momof1princess, though - this has gone from amusing to ridiculous. There has to be a way you can put a stop to this without sacrificing your friendship - and if your friend is willing to walk away from the relationship because you put your foot down to this person, they aren't a real friend anyway.

I had an acquaintance that was somewhat like this person, and I will tell you what worked for me. Continue to be nice to G. Whatever G does, keep smiling and whenever possible agree with her. She says she wants a fire? Say that yes, a fire would be nice. She says she wants wood? Say yes, wood would be good if she wants a fire. She asks for your wood? Say no, that won't be possible - but if you can, offer an alternative. "No, that won't be possible. But Storename might have some." Then find something else you need to do. If she continues to ask, continue to respond that it won't be possible. But keep being nice. She comes to your door and says she needs to go to the store? Tell her how sweet it is that she's letting you know, but that you don't need anything from the store right now and to enjoy her shopping. She wants a ride to the store? Say no, that won't be possible. She asks why? Either repeat it won't be possible or say that you have your hands full with something. If she just hints and doesn't come out and ask, be obtuse. Don't assume she expects you to do something for her until she actually asks, and when she asks say no. But do it nicely, as though you assume she's a normal person who will respond correctly to "No".

Keep your door locked. If she knocks either don't respond or open it a crack and tell her you're in the middle of something, it's not a great time, but you'll see her later. If you're outside and she pesters you, keep being nice and agree whenever possible, as long as you're really saying "No" to everything she wants you to do. You're just doing it really nicely.

Eventually she's going to stop asking because she's going to learn that she's not going to get her way no matter how much she harrasses you about things. If your friend has a problem with that, then that's their problem and you don't need that kind of friend. No one can make you a doormat without your permission. Don't let G walk all over you. But also don't let G see that she is upsetting you. Stay calm and breezy and pleasant, but continue to say No to everything she wants.

My advice is worth exactly what you paid for it, but this technique did work for me.

 

[lovetoscrap]

How old is this woman C.Ann?

It sounds like if she is that obnoxious then your friend would also be frustrated and annoyed by her and might enjoy being able to vent with her good friend. And if she is such a great friend then she certainly should understand YOUR frustration with her.

I really agree that you need to tell "G" to go jump in the lake. As others have said, if this ruins your friendship then I have to question how good of friends you are. I know I wouldn't expect my good friends to put up with my obnoxious relatives. Heck, I have some obnoxious friends that I won't expose my other friends too!

 

[momof1princess]

I understand why you "don't" get it - because you don't understand how the places here are situated and how it causes everyone to "mingle" in one way or another.. "G" is not "in" my place.. She does not have to physically "be" in my place to cause problems.. If I had the energy, I would try to explain it, but I'm just too frustrated this morning to get into a lengthy explanation..



Is the friendship "worth" it.. 20 years of being there for one another - through thick and thin.. Her cancer, my DH's death, both of our DD's weddings, the birth of both of our DGD's, 20 years of heart-to-heart talks every summer around the campfire.. That's hard to throw away.. I would put up with just about anything to hang on to that.. Friendships like that don't come along every day.. It's something I will have to think long and hard about before she arrives.. One of the "big" things that makes me hesitant to take a chance on destroying this friendship over "G" is that I know she won't be a "permanent fixture" here "forever".. Debt is catching up with them and I'm sure that at some point in time they will have to sell the place and I'll never have to deal with her again.. So do I "toss" the friendship over something that I know isn't going to be a permanent situation? That's one heck of a decision to have to make..



Yes - we could leave - but what would be the point? She'll be back at least 2 more times - for extended stays - from now until Labor Day.. Are we going to pick up and leave every time she's here? DGD is really good friends with "G"'s oldest DD - my DD and her DH are really good friends with "G"'s DH.. Should everyone else have to suffer because of "G"??

At this point I think I'm just rambling - because I'm upset, frustrated, confused, angry, and simply can't think straight.. I need to talk to DD later this morning and find out exactly what happened last night.. Hopefully that will bring some clarity to the situation - and where we go from here..

I need to think about what I've learned in the past months.. Think about difficult relationships - difficult situations - and difficult people.. When I can think clearly enough to put it all together, then I'll know exactly what I have to do.. For now, a rash decision would be worse than no decision at all..

Okay - enough "rambling"...

i totally understand. you're right, friendships like that definitely don't come along every day. i pray your friend will understand the position you're in.

 

[trip]

I don't understand how an adult with young children would stay at a somewhat remote area with no car. She really needs to rent a car while she is there. Most people don't mind doing folks a favor but she really pushes the limit! Are all of you expected to jump whenever she is in need?

 

[Terry36]

i totally understand. you're right, friendships like that definitely don't come along every day. i pray your friend will understand the position you're in.

Ditto.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

C. Ann--I would have alittle more faith in my friend of 20 years to trust my observations of her rude, obnoxious, abusive relative.

I would put my literal foot down and not do one more thing for this woman aside administer first aid/call an ambulance in the event of injury.

The woman is a spiteful B word it seems and you guys are letting her walk all over you plain and simple.

The layout of the land is just an excuse. She knows that her ways work to get what she wants and you have proven it throughout this entire thread.

It is time for her to learn the natural consequences of her ways and let her fend for herself.

Time to snub her--and I don't mean rudely. But you don't have to engage with her at all since you know that it will turn out bad. Simply refuse.

I don't care if she uses your potty and sleeps in your guest bed--proximity is no excuse to put up with this crap.

In doing so and venting her, you are permitting her to behave this way and have provided your blessing by remaining silent.

"Failure to plan on HER part does not constitute an EMERGENCY on your part."

You might kindly use that quote.

But if you do nothing to assert your boundaries and good manners--then I'm afraid there is nothing any of us can do for you b/c at this point all you are doing is gossipping and getting upset for what you refuse to do anything about for the many excuses listed.

I'm sorry if this seems harsh--but rude people must be dealt with and if they are not--then it isn't their fault b/c they have honestly no clue in the world and won't spontaneously behave using the Music Man's think system.

 

[C.Ann]

 

[minniebeth]

Hang in there and vent away...it's good to try to find some humor in it, but I know it's not always funny...maybe someday?

 

[HM]

That poor husband. He works three jobs so she can sit around (and harass people). I still think that it may be a way of staying away from her.....working so much.

Pixies to you as you work through your thoughts and all the issues.