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[Pembo]

.

 

[teacups]

This is just my own personal experience: My first marriage, which was terrible and abusive, was WORK.
My second and final and forever marriage is not work at all. I couldnt even figure out how to call it WORK.

 

[CheshireVal]

I don't know that I would call it "work," but it definitely takes a lot of compromise and effort, which can feel like work sometimes.

 

[helenabear]

The only "work" involved for us is to make sure we talk if something is wrong. We also "work" if the other is in a down spot (work, emotional... whatever) but I can't say it is hard "work" 95% of the time it is easy going for us. I guess "work" for me is making an extra effort beyond what I naturally do. I really don't do a lot that makes me go out of my way though.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

There were times where it was work....like between years 5 and 7. Don't know what was going on with us.

I don't consider it work now. If you are still loving each other and wanting to be together--then it isn't work. It is the times when you have a slump--that you need to do something to keep it going (IMHO of course).

The "work" part comes in play when you have bad times..some couples are blessed to not have any--some are not.

 

[meandtheguys2]

I agree. Sometimes it takes effort to get along, when they are wrong...

 

[Hercules10]

Mowing the yard is WORK!

Matri-agony is torture!

Just kidding!!! So far it's been 12 years of fun.

 

[Skatermom23]

No work here!

 

[ToriLammy]

I think part of the problem is most people perceive "work" as something bad, hard or undesireable. Work is not always a negative.

 

[freckles and boo]

Sure it can be work! Mostly it just involves paying attention and not taking someone for granted. I think when people get too complacent is when they get those big surprises - "I can't believe he cheated" or "she doesn't take care of herself" or "we don't have anything in common anymore" or "I didn't know you hated spinach!". It is kind of like keeping the house clean - if you just do a little every once in a while you don't have to do the hard work all at once. Now if I could just keep the house that clean...

 

[NMAmy]

With my first husband it was work--for me, not him so much.

With DH, it doesn't feel like work. Mainly because he puts as much effort into staying connected and appreciating each other as I do. So for me, it's half the work with way more benefits.

 

[lovemygoofy]

I'm not sure the word work is correct, though we use it here, as much as an active participant. You have to be active in your marriage keeping communication open and seeking out things that make your spouse and yourself happy.

Sometimes I do call it work but not because I think of a negative connotation but because it something that takes my time and perservance to keep it strong and going. I don't know how marriages stay good and happy if they say I do and just expect it to be wonderful for ever after. My MIL think that my husband and I have the most wonderful marriage and that apparently the blue birds sing and the sunshines on us all the times because she doesn't see how we are constantly keeping it fresh and wonderful or she doesn't see the stress that we endure in other parts of the time when he is gone, when someone may wonder what the heck you are doing married to someone hardly ever there.

 

[Buckalew11]

I have always heard that marriage is hard work. I don't find that for either one of us. The first three years of my marriage I was miserable (it is a wonder I stayed married) but since the big turning point, I think it is rather easy. And because I have always heard it is hard work, I have wondered if we are doing something wrong? Oh well, it seems to work for us...no work, that is, LOL!

 

[Dodie]

I've been married for 12 years. I don't think marriage is work. I'm not even sure what kind of "work" it would be?

I've been married for 14 years. I don't think marriage is work. I'm not even sure what kind of "work" it would be? - Dodie

I agree with you.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

At times in our marriage it has been "work"...

Both of us come from dysfunction and had to learn alot. It was alot of work to fix our demons.

 

[JunieJay]

I don't know that I would call it "work," but it definitely takes a lot of compromise and effort, which can feel like work sometimes.

 

[kdibattista]

DH and I were just discussing this. Our relationship right now is no work whatsoever and we have been married for almost 7 years (together 10). We are both very, very easy going people. With that said, we do not yet have children and I do suspect some work in our future

 

[Patty3]

I have been married for 36 years and yes I do feel that marriage is work. We have a wonderful marriage but after all these years, you can start taking the other person for granted. You need to work on making the other person feel special every day even if you are in a bad mood. It is the little things that need work.

 

[Saphire]

Hmmm, not sure I would say 'Marriage is Work'. I would say that life itself is hard work and since the two become one in marriage, together you face the 'work of life' as well as the 'joy' of life. In the same way raising children can be hard work but that isn't the whole story.

 

[ducklite]

I wouldn't say it's "work," although I think you need to work at nurturing it. Really a big part of marriage is a series of compromises and seeing your partners point of view.

Anne