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[Tiger926]

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[DisneyMommyMichelle]

are you sure this is your best friend??? it just seems too much.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Here is what I would do..."RUN AWAY"....I could not hang with someone like that!
The thing is you know what she is like and you go back for more...why?

 

[ToriLammy]

Not all friendships are meant to last forever sounds like it's time to end the friendship. Why spend time and effort on someone who makes you feel bad or miserable?

 

[Tiger926]

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[EthansMom]

First, think about everything you could be doing with your time and energy if you weren't dealing with this person.

Then, go about distancing yourself from this toxic person. I think it's time you "start seeing other people", if you know what I mean.

If it were me personally, I wouldn't worry about returning phone calls or replying to emails too quickly, would turn down invitations to do things that didn't truly interest me ("Sorry, I have other plans" or "Sorry, but I'm not interested" work well), and I would politely end any conversations wherein the other person starts becoming confrontational or abusive ("Sorry, but I need to go").

 

[Ready to go in Ok]

She sounds very insecure, and you are right, I don't think that anything you ever do will be enough. She sounds like one of those unhappy people that expect others to make her happy. Until she is happy with herself, it sounds like she is using you as her punching bag. This happens a lot with close friends or relatives because they are "safe". As sad as it is, I think you may have to leave her to her own devices, and let her deal with some issues. JMHO!

 

[azgal81]

I am a believer in getting rid of all the negative people in my life. Does she do anything positive to make you glad she is your friend? It might be time to say good bye some friendships don't last forever.

 

[jennobrn01]

Friendships are seasonal. And that's ok. Your friendship bloomed strong for years. Now it is ready to go into a winter season. It may return again to spring. It may not. And that is ok.

For your own sake let it go. Hoping you can ease away gently without much conflict.

 

[lisajl]

Time to let go and move on....

 

[disneylizzy]

I used to have similar issues with my SIL, until I gradually became more involved with PTO activities and made other friends. We used to talk everyday and I would get upset at the little digs, comparing of the cousins, etc. A little distance did a world of good for the relationship.

Life is too short to surround yourself with people that drag you down and provide negative energy to your life. Be busy when she calls, let the friendship run its course. You will be happier.

 

[Rajah]

Boy do I hear you. I'm dealing with something similar, but it's a triangle in my case. So I understand.

I've had to distance myself from the toxic one as much as possible while attempting to maintain contact with the non-toxic one and things are still rocky with us.

You have to decide whether this friendship is something you want to continue or not. And that is not an easy decision.

Good luck to you

 

[dznymom3]

Friendships are seasonal. And that's ok. Your friendship bloomed strong for years. Now it is ready to go into a winter season. It may return again to spring. It may not. And that is ok.

For your own sake let it go. Hoping you can ease away gently without much conflict.

Very well said.

 

[Tiger926]

Thank you! I have been thinking about the friendship is seasonal comment - I really like that. I feel a bit of weight off of my shoulders because I think internally, I know that we need a break, and things are never going to be the same between us, and I guess that is ok. I firmly believe that things happen for a reason, and so, over the next couple of weeks while my hubby, my daughter and I are vacationing in our favourite place (the castle, of course!) I have some thinking to do about how I can ease into this transition with as little conflict as possible. She seems to crave conflict and chaos, so I am a bit worried about that.

Thanks a lot, Tiger

 

[horseshowmom]

She seems to crave conflict and chaos, so I am a bit worried about that.

I know what you're saying, and I know people who are the same way. Remember, don't rise to the bait. Just distance yourself from her and don't let yourself be pulled in. You don't owe her anything (considering the circumstances), and it's time to move on. Best wishes!

 

[mickey65]

Sometimes there comes a time in our life when we must part paths. You have places to go on your path and she has places to go on her path. Cherish the times that you shared while on the same path, but love yourself enough to realize when something is no longer bringing something positive into your life. Maybe in time your paths will be one again, maybe not. By letting yourself be consumed with what she is doing or what you perceive her to be doing (I am not making any judgements here) to you, you are using valuable energy and robbing your spirit of peace.
I hope you find some sense of peace with this situation.

 

[Tiger926]

That was a very beautiful response, Mickey65! Just what I needed to hear. It is sad when this sort of thing happens, but I have been seeing it coming for awhile. I need to surround myself with more positive energy as I have a very draining career. I have many other wonderful things that I could be using my time and energies towards - my hubby is constantly reminding me of this as well as I have neglected some of them as she has had to be front and centre for the longest time - no more!

Some very wise souls on this board. Thank you kindly, Tiger

 

[chyam]

I am a believer in getting rid of all the negative people in my life. Does she do anything positive to make you glad she is your friend? It might be time to say good bye some friendships don't last forever.

EXACTLY........Dr. Phil ( and believe me I don't really care to much for him) said that we need to rid ourselves of Toxic relationships no matter how much time we have invested in them, when it comes to the point when you no longer feel good about what the other person is offering in the friendship/relationship it is time to move on. It sounds drastic but if it were me I would "bounce" her emails and screen her calls. I would not subject myself to all that negativity and the analyzing of my every word.

 

[dznymom3]

Good luck. Try not to think about it too much while you're on vacation.

 

[Tiger926]

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