here are a couple of cute jokes I happened across. I thought they would brighten your day here since it is so quiet today,
Kathy
Attending a wedding for the
>first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride
>dressed in white?""
>Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day
of
>her life."
>
>The child thought about this for a moment then said,
> "So why is the groom wearing black?"
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~
>A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running
> as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class.
> As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't
>let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!"
>
>While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell,
getting
>her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up,brushed herself
off,
>and started running again! As she ran she once again began to
pray"Dear
>Lord, please don't let me be late...But please don't shove me either!"
>
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The
first
>boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few
>words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The
>second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad
>scribbles a few words on piece of paper,
>he calls it a song, they give him $100."
>The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few
words on
>a piece of paper, he calls it a
>sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"
>
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested
no
>male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial
service,
>she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want
them
>to take me out when I'm dead."
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>
>A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you
had
>to arrest your own mother?" He answered, "Call for
>backup."
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus
with
>them to Jerusalem. A small child replied, "They couldn't get a
>baby-sitter."
>
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five
>and six year olds.
>After explaining the commandment to "Honor thy father
> and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us
how
>to treat our brothers and sisters?"
>
>Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, "Thou shall
>not kill."
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~
>At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything,
including
>human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told
him
>how Eve was created
>out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him
lying
>down as though he were ill, and she said, "Johnny, what is the
matter?"
>Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to
>have a wife."
>
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after
>hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, "What
do
>you think about all this Satan stuff?"
>
>The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out.
It's
>probably just your Dad."
>
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you
stop
>laughing! Take heed and pass these along to people who need a laugh
>
>
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