10:00 lunch for first grade?!?

[JPN4265]

Originally posted by lenshanem
Just got back from sneak-a-peek. My daughter is in first grade this year and their lunch is from 10:00 - 10:30. That is breakfast for goodness sake! (They go to school from 7:50 to 2:20.) Plus, this year they don't do snack.
Seems harsh, I dunno. She'll eat breakfast around 7:20 before I drop her off, then eat again at 10:00 (I doubt she'll be hungry yet.) so then by 2:20 she will be STARVING.

Thoughts? Does this time seem crazy? Last year she had a noon lunch time.

With the overcrowding of our school system, we have no choice but to start lunch at 10 am. I am surprised that snacks are not allowed. I would get with the PTA and get this changed. Good Luck!

 

[vhoffman]

OK, just WHAT am I supposed to do? I tell my kids not to buy all that junk, but the school lets them, despite whatever I say. I've spoken with the school on numerous occassions, and written letters, that my kids are not to buy chocolate milk or extra snacks. When I confront my kids with all the extras they've bought, they say "teacher lets me". The school isn't responsible for "parenting" the kid? They are responsible if they override me--I tell both the school and the kid NO but I'm overrode. So its all MY fault? What about common sense--you don't just allow a kid to buy 10 chocolate milks and 6 bags of chips on one day, then tell me I'm somehow responsible because they let him????The school is responsible for the child's behavior while he's under their supervision--what if he just decided he wanted to wander out of the building and into the street during school? They'd just let him do whatever he wants then tell me its all my fault because I didn't raise him right? I do think parents wishes should be respected. If a parent tells the school no junk food, or a limit to how much the kid can buy, they shouldn't just let him buy whatever he wants then send me the bill. What if the child was diabetic or had allergies, and the school had been notified? Then they'd just stand there and watch him buy whatever he wanted and tell me its my fault???? They are there, I'm not. There's only so much I can do, especially if they are going to override whatever I say. This year I'm going to write the school a letter that I won't be responsible for any extra snacks. Their lunch money is to buy lunch and milk. Sometimes they were spending $5 or more per day for junk. When the money ran out of the account, they'd just send me a bill. Just how am I supposed to make a 5 year old "pay back" the extra money he spent? Everyone's telling my kids to go ahead and spend whatever, then its my fault they did? Just WHAT do you suggest I do to keep them from spending a month's worth of lunch money in a day or two on junk? The school DOES have a responsibility towards my kids during the day!

 

[Talking Hands]

If you had notified them in writing that the money was not to be used for snacks and only for lunch money then refuse to pay the tab. They run the tab only because you keep paying. Send lunches and no money for anything. If they run a tab after being informed that you do not authorize them doing so then don't pay.
Make your kids earn back the money they wasted. Extra chores. Punishment fits the crime. You are still the parent not the teacher or the cafeteria staff. The answer is "I don't care if your teacher said it was ok, I said you are not to buy snacks with your lunch money. Since you choose to disobey me this is your punishment. And then stick to it. Children need to learn that just because you are not there doesn't mean they can disobey you. Put yourself back in control of your children and don't expect others to do it for you.
Btw at many schools the teacher doesn't remain with the students for lunch. They are supervised by staff who only come in to work lunch. Cafeteria workers are not responisible for making sure your child follows your rules. They have enough to do getting all these kids through the lines and fed in a very limited amount of time.
I agree with the others who have said you have a problem between you and your kids.

 

[vhoffman]

To Talking Hands,

Just what makes you think I haven't tried all your suggestions and then some? I'm not lacking in common sense! I usually don't know on a day-to-day basis what ds has spent in the cafeteria. I just get a bill at the end of the month, or a notice that his lunch account is empty. But I don't know on a day-to-day basis what he's doing. Schools love to complain that they need support from the parents and the home. Well, it works both ways. The school also needs to support the parent. You don't just allow a kid to do whatever, then blame the parent. Especially when the parents have done everything that can be expected to work with the school. If the school's going to override me and tell ds he can buy whatever, what can I do? BTW, in my child's school, the teachers do escort the children through the lunch line. They (the teachers) then go to their own lunch area. There are cafeteria moniters who are in charge of the lunch area. I've been to the cafeteria during lunch (without ds's knowledge) and have seen him flagging down the moniters for spoons, napkins, etc when he has them. They don't even bother to look, just bring him more.. Then I get notes that I should pack these things in his lunch. When I tell them he's playing a game they get indigant--I guess they don't want to admit that a 5-6 year old kid is making a fool out of them? Well, what can I do? Why don't they just look to see if he has whatever he's asking for, rather than just assume I'm at fault? He also flags down the cafeteria ladies for "extras" when its clearly excessive--I saw them once bring 6 chocolate milks to him and he proceeded to share them with his firends. There again, I've spoken with the cafeteria staff and they tell me its somehow my "responsibility". I thought common sense was everyone's responsibility?

 

[vhoffman]

Oh, BTW, your suggestion that I just refuse to pay the tab---well, it just isn't broken out that way. I put money in his lunch account, usually 2 weeks at a time. Then, its spent on junk. Then I get a notice that his lunch account is empty. I can't "refuse" to pay it, it was already spent. I then have to put more money in for him to have something to buy lunch with. Starting this year, there will be NO money in his lunch account, period. However, they will bill me for whatever he buys. He also wanders into the cafeteria and buys breakfast (even though he has an ample breakfast at home). That comes out of his lunch money. Days when I pack him lunch he still buys lunch. I've been told that he doesn't eat the breakfasts or extra lunches. I really am powerless to stop him from buying whatever when I'm not there. However, this year, I'm going to tell the school in writing that he brings an adequate lunch from home, eats breakfast at home, and I will not be responsible for any breakfast or lunch charges. Then the school will probably gig me for abuse--he's hungry and I'm not feeding him! But there's no law that says that I have to buy the school's breakfast and lunches, just as long as he's well-fed.

 

[Bojangles]

Originally posted by vhoffman
There again, I've spoken with the cafeteria staff and they tell me its somehow my "responsibility". I

It is your responsibility. When you tell him "no extra snacks" and he continues to buy them, it is a parenting issue. You have a discipline problem at home and blaming the school, teachers and cafeteria ladies for your problems isn't helping. It sounds like knows he can get away with this behavior.

 

[phamton]

When I tell them he's playing a game they get indigant--I guess they don't want to admit that a 5-6 year old kid is making a fool out of them?

May I suggest that it is not the cafeteria workers who are being made a fool but you. He is playing games with you. He knows the rules you have set and he chooses to break those rules. The school is only responsible for making sure the students obey the school rules. If you have different rules for your son then it is your responsibility to teach him those rules and enforce the punishment when he breaks them. At 6 years old, he is old enough to know your rules.

Just as an example, I had a child in my first grade class who was a Jehovah Witness. He was not allowed to do any projects involving birthdays, holidays, or patriotic stuff. One day, we were doing a project on the American Flag. He reminded me that he couldn't participate so I gave him an alternate project. Other children didn't eat meat on Fridays during lent. On Friday, the cafeteria would usually offer grilled cheese sandwiches, hamburger, or fish sticks. We didn't make any child pick fish or grilled cheese. Each child had to know what they could eat.

 

[lenshanem]

I am surprised that snacks are not allowed.

They are allowed, but it is the teacher's decision. Her teacher told me she doesn't like to do snacks and I was fine with that because my daughter has a severe peanut allergy anyway. Less worry for me, but then I got home and read that her lunch was at 10:00!!! Her teacher wrote in her letter that there will be no snack unless after two weeks the parents really feel it is necessary, then she will decide. I hope enough Moms send in a note cause I just think that is way too long for a six year old. If their lunch was closer to noon I think it would be fine, but 10:00??? I will be very surprised if she even eats then. Maybe I'll just give her a small breakfast so she'll be hungry by 10:00?

The first two weeks are gonna be long...

 

[zaxmom]

Push for the snack time. They do not need milk or juice if there is a water fountain present. Our teachers have always asked for a healthy snack from home. This is hard to do, but there are many snacks that were not as bad as others. Crackers, carrots, whatever. Our school starts lunch at 10:30 for the kindergarten and works up from there. He gets on the bus at 7:00 am, so he was ready for lunch at that time. Especially the mornings mom overslept and thre crackers at him to eat on the bus. Why can't our schools start at 9:00!!! That would be awesome!

As for the extras, we had to sign a permission slip for our child to buy extra food out of their account. I believe it was better monitored than what your school is doing for you. You can tell him not to buy it until your blue in the face. I tell myself not to eat that chocolate in the cupboard, but yet again it is gone. When temptation is there and no one is monitoring it is very hard to be disciplined. You need to speak up about this to the school board and let them know that the cafeteria workers need to limit this spending. There is no reason he should be able to buy items for other kids.

 

[twinmomplus2new]

shan . This is complicated so forgive me if it sounds so..... We had 3 seperate schools for k-6. 1 was in one building, the other 2 shared one building, but split down the middle. The River school had the left quadront, the Valley the right. 2 seperate Principals etc...However they had to share the media room, cafeteria and Gym.
This was not a small undertaking each section had 4 of each grade so example. 8 first grades. The kids started at 9am. Because of the staggering cafeteria schedule. For half the year one school had first lunch, then they switched off. This meant our 6th graders were entering school at 9. Late bell 9 fifteen and eating Lunch At 10 am.

I am certain it was a huge problem for the split school parents, My children were in the stand alone school so had lunch from 11:45 onward. We had an entire system rehaul here in town in order to restucture our elementary schools. Get into your PTO and see what can be done. At the very least. She needs a snack after 12. A child of 5 or 6 should not be expected to go till dissmissal after eating at 10am!!! I know mine could not without question. Good Luck!

 

[kbeverina]

Originally posted by vhoffman
OK, just WHAT am I supposed to do?

Do exactly what you do to get him to listen to you when he's at home. What would you do if he was at home and you found that he ate a snack he wasn't supposed to eat?

 

[vhoffman]

Let me get this straight--my ds asks for items he already has, such as spoons, napkins, etc. (this is on days I pack his lunch, and I pack those items). He flags down a cafeteria moniter, she immediately hops to get whatever he wants, then sends me a note asking that I pack "appropriate" items in his lunch. She never bothers to check to see if ds has those items. I point this out, that he's just playing a game. So I'm the fool? Did it ever occur to these cafeteria people to use some common sense--look to see if he has these items before running to get more? Especially after I point this out to them--that ds is playing a game. I still continue to get notes to the effect "Please remember to pack necessary items such as spoons, straws, etc. While we have these items in the cafeteria, our staff is busy and can't provide such items to your child on an ongoing basis, ..." blah, blah.....What do you suggest I do? I am packing the necessary items. Can't they bother to look? Especially after I tell them? Or they just want to continue to blame me for their own stupidity?

 

[vhoffman]

Oh, and in response to Bojangles, that I have a discipline problem at home and I'm "blaming" the school, well, did you read my posts? The problem is occuring at school, not at home. He's "getting away" with stuff at school. Common sense would tell you not to allow a kid to buy as much as 10 chocolate milks at one meal, especially if the parents have requested that he not be allowed to do so. If he wanted to walk out of school and play in the street and the teachers just let him, I suppose that would be my fault as well? Schools do need to cooperate with parents as well as expecting the parents to cooperate with them.

 

[kbeverina]

Originally posted by vhoffman
Let me get this straight--my ds asks for items he already has, such as spoons, napkins, etc. (this is on days I pack his lunch, and I pack those items). He flags down a cafeteria moniter, she immediately hops to get whatever he wants, then sends me a note asking that I pack "appropriate" items in his lunch. She never bothers to check to see if ds has those items. I point this out, that he's just playing a game. So I'm the fool? Did it ever occur to these cafeteria people to use some common sense--look to see if he has these items before running to get more? Especially after I point this out to them--that ds is playing a game. I still continue to get notes to the effect "Please remember to pack necessary items such as spoons, straws, etc. While we have these items in the cafeteria, our staff is busy and can't provide such items to your child on an ongoing basis, ..." blah, blah.....What do you suggest I do? I am packing the necessary items. Can't they bother to look? Especially after I tell them? Or they just want to continue to blame me for their own stupidity?

I know you're frustrated, but seriously, I would just kill my kids if they were disrespectful like this to other adults.

 

[vhoffman]

Geez! I guess I'm just the worst parent of the century! Do what I would do if he ate a snack he wasn't supposed to at home? Let me point out a few facts you don't seem to get--at home, I'm at home, supervising him. I know what he's doing and have control over his actions. Do you understand--I'm not at the school. How am I supposed to control his actions when I'm not even there? I usually don't even know on a day-to-day basis what he's eating. I just get a note saying that his lunch account is empty, and its far too early for it to be depleted. I have to go to the cafeteria, have them pull up a record of his purchases, and then find out that he's been buying excess snacks. I'm the last to know and the first to be blamed. Meanwhile, the teacher just stands there and watches him load up his tray with a bunch of junk, the cashier rings it up, and the cafeteria moniters rush to buy him more. I've spoken with all of them on numerous ocassions and pointed out that not only is ds eating junk instead of food, his lunch money is being wasted. We hear all the time about how teachers are so underpaid. They certainly wouldn't allow their money to go down the drain like that, but its ok to let someone else's.

 

[vhoffman]

Well, Kebverina, I guess killing the kid would take care of the problem, wouldn't it? However, that's a little drastic. Some common sense on the part of school personnel (such as checking his lunch supplies before running to get him more) would help.

 

[kbeverina]

Originally posted by vhoffman
Do what I would do if he ate a snack he wasn't supposed to at home? Let me point out a few facts you don't seem to get--at home, I'm at home, supervising him. I know what he's doing and have control over his actions.

But what do you do if he doesn't listen to you?

 

[kbeverina]

Originally posted by vhoffman
Well, Kebverina, I guess killing the kid would take care of the problem, wouldn't it? However, that's a little drastic.

Well, just between you and me, I wouldn't actually do it. But they think I would, so that's what matters.

Some common sense on the part of school personnel (such as checking his lunch supplies before running to get him more) would help.

Maybe it's just their way of making it a pain in the butt for you so you'll find a way to get him to follow your rules.

Listen, I'm not attacking your parenting skills. I'm really not. My original post was an honest suggestion. Do whatever you do when he doesn't listen to you at home, be it time-out or going to bed early or a spanking or losing a favorite toy or whatever. Whatever discipline method you use. Because if you've told him not to do this, and he's doing it anyway, then he's breaking your rules. When you get the notes home or you get the bill from the cafeteria, do what you do when he's breaking your rules at home. You asked, that's my advice--hope you get it resolved.

 

[Bojangles]

Of course I read your posts. My kids' school allows them to buy extra items if they have money in their account. But they know thay have enough extra money for one ice cream or slushy per week. If they spend their entire balance on junk, they know there would be consequences at home for their actions. I sure wouldn't be blaming the school for not watching what they put on their tray every day.

You need to take accept some responsibility for this situation. With all the things teachers and other cafeteria workers have to deal with every day, making sure your child spends his lunch money wisely is probably pretty much at the bottom of their list.

 

[vhoffman]

I need to take some responsibility for the situation....looks like I'm the only one who is. I've talked with the teachers, cafeteria personnel, written letters, talked with ds until I'm blue in the face, all to no avail. A friend of mine's school asks the parents at the beginning of the year to sign a form if they want their children to be allowed to buy "extras" or just the basic lunch and milk. Then a code is put on their account. If the parents don't want their children to buy extras, the account is coded and the cashier can't ring it up. Seems to me my ds's school could come up with such a system. Oh, and insofar as making it a "pain in the butt for me" so I'll "do something about it" seems like they're making a pain in the butt for themselves, running to get whatever ds wants when he already has it. I am "doing someting about it " (this is another issue, ds asking for items he has, such as spoons, etc,) I always pack those items, I usually pack two of each in case he drops one. What else can I do? I pack the necessary items, tell them he has such items, but they continue to allow him to play his little game, then send me a note telling me to do what I'm doing! I wonder if some of these idiotic posts I'm wasting my time responding to are written by teachers--it seems I'm encountering the same mentality I encounter at ds's school--no matter what they let ds get away with, its all my fault, and no matter what I suggest or do the problem continues when it could be stopped with a simple question "Don't you already have a spoon?" Or, "Why do you need to buy 10 chocolate milks?" I guess I'm expecting a little thinking from teachers. Like I questioned earlier, if a child wanted to leave the school and play in the street, would the school personnel just let him, then say its all my fault ? I guess its more fun to maon and groan about the awful, non-supportative parents, then it is to just quit letting the kid play games. Like I've said, I'm not there during the day. If ds is playing his games, its with school personnel and they need to figure out how to quit playing the game with him. How much effort does it take to check to see if he has a spoon before running off to get another one, especially when they know that's his game?