Young kids and "romances"

[6_Time_Momma]

My 8 y.o. DD has had a "boyfriend" since the start of the school year. He has bought and given her small gifts, notepads, mood ring, pencils, erasers, etc. For Valentine's Day, he bought her a stuffed bear with candy attached to it. I let her get him a small stuffed puppy for VDay. Interestingly enough, this "romance" has lasted for 6 months now. When it first started in September, I thought, of course, that "she'll have a new boyfriend next month", but she hasn't.

Just curious as to your thoughts on this. Is it possible for "true love" to blossom at this age? Or are we looking at harmless play? Should I not encourage it? What do you think?

 

[Aurora63]

Have you met the boy and his parents?

I think it is probably pretty harmless, but I would want to meet them, to see what his family is like. Most eight year old boys hate girls, but he may trying to emulate others around him, like an older brother. Hopefully nothing to serious though.

 

[Robinrs]

My son has had "girlfriends" since he was the grand old age of 2. He LOVES females, all ages, all types, and they love him.

I try to talk to him about it, he is WAY advanced for his 11 years and the cuteness of it is about to wear off. The "romances" are generally very sweet and innocent, only problem is when they're OVER suddenly the mother of the girl AND the girl doesn't speak to me anymore!!

I'm sure your daughter's "fling" is about the same. I know with the double standard it's harder with a girl (we KNOW how boys are!!) so keep an eye on it!

Good luck!

Robinrs

 

[Sandy V.]

The mother and daughter stop talking to you?!?! Whoa, at age 11, that's pretty harsh!

Too bad they don't see the sweetness in it all.

 

[emmy]

My DS (9) has had his "girlfriend" since first grade- they are the best of friends and it all seems pretty cute and harmless! We have gotten to know her family really well now and have even vacationed together. I sometimes wonder what the future years will hold for them- it will be interesting to see if they stay close.

 

[6_Time_Momma]

I should add that I am not bothered by their relationship. My husband, however, is another story. He does not like that fact that Daddy's Little Girl is even thinking about boys!

 

[Dakota_Lynn]

I think eight is very young. My daughter is 12.5 and she recently showed interest in a boy for the first time. The main rule I put forth was that she had to look at him as a friend who happened to be a boy, not a boyfriend or a dating partner. That was easy enough for her since she's had lots of male friends. She understood my point and had the kid over a few times and got over her interest in about a week, which was fine by me!

I think kids grow up way too quickly. I would personally never encourage any kind of romantic relationship between children in grade school...but that's just my opinon. There's plenty of time for that later. Grade school years are about learning to read and write, make friends, and learn how to behave in basic social relationships. Dating relationships are more advanced, and I think should wait until middle school, or even high school. But that's just my opinion, and I certainly don't judge people who feel differently.

 

[Carl]

I agree with Lynn. However, I really believe that there can be problems if children in grade school get too wrapped up with the dating game and romance. They neglect normal activities which should be taking place in those years. Here is a guide to whether the relationship is healthy - do the boy and girl do things like you would expect of that age? Are they going to movies and taking part in other activities OR are they just doing things which have to do with boyfriend/girlfriend relationships? Examples: giving gifts to eachother and sending notes to eachother. In other words, are their activities more like "friends" activities or are they all centered around playing out the boyfriend/girlfriend thing?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Hi 6 time mom! I will tell you as that I just had to meet for the first time the parents of my 12yodds boyfriend.
(about an 1/2 hour ago, give me time to recoup as DH and I are still spinning)

Alright dd has never had a serious interest in boys. But this year things had changed. All of a sudden dh and I are talking about what is appropriate and where should we draw lines???


It just all of a sudden jumped on us! We met the parents, they seem nice and decent. They are going to the movies. Her boyfriend gave her a bear, 2 candy things, and 2 roses at SCHOOL!

So what I am doing is not encouraging it, but I told her you be "cool" with me and I will be "cool" with you and alot of other jazz.

Good Luck with things and I understand what you are saying!