Yes, we were "that" family this week...

[ready2vacation]

Let me preface by saying, my DH and I tried to have a child together for 14 (yes 1-4) years before we were blessed with our daughter who is now 2.5. We had many, many years to visit Disney and other vacation locales and tsk tsk about parents whose children were not behaving and having major meltdowns.

But you know what....sometimes, despite best efforts and parenting techniques, sometimes a toddler is going to be...a toddler! We learned the hard way this week when our daughter had several throwdown tantrums at Disney. Of course, we were embarrassed because we knew what people might be thinking, since we had been there done that! "Our" angel, was no angel this week, but we knew it was because of Disney sensory overload, diet changes with limited familiar food/routine, change in sleep schedule, etc.

I'm not sure really why I'm posting this other than to maybe say, while some children may not be susceptible to a Disney meltdown others may be and hopefully these parents can be forgiven for causing a slight delay for everyone trying to get off of Spaceship Earth this morning when she laid down in the exit walkway right after the moving exit walkway ends.....

ETA: And definitely hard when your child looks much older than he/she actually is! 2.5 but looks 4 so of course, we probably got more of the "look"

 

[pigletgirl]

I definitely think this is a good reminder that when you take young kids (toddlers, preschoolers, etc) to have no expectations. You may think your kid will characters when just the opposite happens and vice versa. Disney is a lot for a little one to take in. Keeping their emotional needs in mind, is key.

The only things we have planned for our trip is our resort, dining reservations and what park we'll be visiting. I intend to make it to rope drop, but who knows how DD will sleep! She tends to be all over the place with this issue.

 

[nemajovc]

Hubby and I also had to move the earth for 10+ years to get our DS and it was very hard getting used to parenting - especially as somewhat older parents.
That said he has survived fairly well, and at least I'm old enough now to not give a ____ (care) about certain things other than the love for my child (and of course those darned accelerated readers!). I find that I take more in stride and follow what I learned from friends who were on their 3rd or 4th child - they learned to go with the flow.

 

[SweetMissy]

You're NOT the only ones! When we took our now 10 year old to disney for the first time when he was 2, I swore I would NEVER take another toddler to disney (or anywhere). We did have fun but due to like you said, just a mess up of routine, it wasn't the magical time we had hoped for, lol. Kids do have tantrums! We're going again soon (11 days ) and our littlest is 2 1/2....yes, we're silly to go with a toddler. But I do think it's the 1st kid that's the hardest because now we're used to the tantrums and frustrations, so it doesn't bother us like the 1st one. I envy all those parents out there with perfect little children (I personally think they're big liars ). Every kid has their good and bad moments, you just have to pay attention to your little one and not those staring at you because they've never seen a 2 year old act like a fool.

Enjoy...it goes by fast!

 

[JillShari]

Honestly, my hubby and I sympathize with every parent who has a tantruming or badly behaving child at WDW. We totally understand the tantrums and that kids are kids.... and the best part is that it makes my hubby feel like our kids and his struggles with the fact that there is no perfect feel more normal!

If anyone is judging...shame on them.

 

[Lisa71]

Big hugs. Kids are kids. Let it go and just keep swimming..our DS has CP..he is 7 but looks 10...we get looks every day. Hang in there. Next trip will be better.

 

[GrtWtNorth]

Between 18 months and 2.5 years old, I could barely take my kid to the grocery store. Grandpa and grandma were awesome when I needed a Walt Disney World fix.

The good news is that it can only get better. You will know when your kid is past the tantrum stage and can clearly express their opinions without hostility and tears. Disney vacations with my DD at age 3, 4, and 5 were great.

Regarding the size issue, you have my deepest sympathy. While my DD is one of the weird ones (right on the 50th percentile for height and weight), I have friends who have two daughters who both take after their very tall parents. These friends are often rattled by insensitive comments by other adults like "what's wrong with that kid -- three years old and not walking..." Their poor daughter was just 13 months old and just starting to walk. Both parents are over 6 feet tall, big kids were not a surprise. But rude comments by strangers were both surprising and hurtful.

 

[stasijane]

Good advice Although I don't think that is limited to toddlers. The biggest argument my pre-teen and myself had was leaving one on the parks. Goodness.

 

[disneydivamama]

When our dd was 2, we were at Epcot when she had a huge tantrum...just totally exhausted and overstimulated. A "gentleman" walked by us and snidely commented " you should spank her a**." I am blown away by how people can be so horrendous...even at Disney. She too is tall, and looked 4 at 2...and now looks 6 at 4.

The "funny" part was that not 30 minutes later, we were waiting to be seated at Le Cellier and the same man and his wife walked in...I had to hold my dh back (again) but then then the "gentleman" was turned away because he did not have an ADR....and we got to watch a grown man throw a fit. Hmm.

 

[farrahalex76]

Our trip my DD 4 was 2. She threw a fit in Pizza Planet when I took my other two to the restroom and didn't take her. I would have she didn't want to go when we went. My DH said a lady near our table said in a very loud voice, " thank goodness they will be coming back". Not sure how she meant it she might have been trying to be encouraging but my DH didn't find it funny. Another time at the food court she was mad about something and throwing another fit a lady walked by and said " I'm so glad my child never acted like this". Really I bet. I thought 2 fits during a ten day trip was a victory. She will be 4 this upcoming trip, I'll be happy with 2 fits again. She's a red head and has a temper.

 

[Aliceacc]

As you can infer from my tag, we've also been "that family" once or twice.

To be honest, I'm pretty sure that most families have had that experience, with or without a toddler in tow.

No reason to be embarassed. Those perfect, worry free vacations only take place in the Disney commercials.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

My only thought when I see that is, "Glad that's not us"

 

[puffkin]

My kids are also very tall and look about 2 years older than they are, so we get a lot of those looks too during the melt downs. Totally understand what that is like and the comments. Luckily my older son only had a few tantrums here or there...his behavior can be challenging at times but he isn't one to throw many tantrums. My youngest (21 months) is a pistol though, if you look at him wrong or if the wind blows he has a fit. So I am actually dreading this trip next month. I really hope the good outweighs the bad (says the mom who had to leave older DS baseball game after one inning last night because said child screamed for 20 minutes straight). Can't wait

 

[epsmith921]

I pushed a stroller with a screaming 2.5 year old who looks closer to 4 or 5 all the way from the UK in Epcot to the boardwalk. It was a LONG walk that day. Thank goodness the boardwalk is mostly empty in the middle of the day! She was hot and tired and had woken up from a mini nap and just was angry. She calmed down when we got her out of the heat and into our hotel room.

She never really finished that nap but was fine for the rest of the evening after taking a minute to chill out in our room, which she loved.

I think everyone who claims to have never been that family is having some form of selective memory or amnesia!

 

[rachael95]

DH and I also took a long time to be able to have our son. We celebrate 19 years married this year and our DS is 2. (DH says that luckily he robbed the cradle when he married me And is joking about having a wife still in her 30s--at least for 1 more year!)

For those people who said cruel things, it really amazes me how rare so-called "common" sense is. It's not just toddlers who might be having meltdowns. What if the child has Autism or some other sensory or developmental issue that isn't obvious? People just need to stop sticking their noses into other people's business.

That being said, DH did say the other day that it actually makes him feel better (and then guilty for feeling that way) when he sees another toddler having a meltdown because it makes him realize that when our DS does it, that means he's just a normal kid, but he's also glad it's not ours doing it right then. So remember, sometimes, the glances your way, might be a mix of sympathy and relief that it's not us this time.

I think of a toddler having a fit at Disney almost like an accident on the side of the road. There is probably something that caused that accident/fit to happen. So look to yourself, check your driving conditions, or in this case, check how exhausted, thirsty and out of sorts you all are so you prevent your own accident/fit.

 

[luvmy2babies]

Eh, it happens. For therapy, you should do a search on the Theme Park and Stategies forum for the "meltdown" thread. It's a really long thread from some time ago with people talking about their "moments" at Disney. It's great for a laugh, especially the number of grownups melting down.

My son is 4 and is in a grunting stage. Currently this is how he responds when he is told to do something he doesn’t care to do. If he does it a certain way it sounds like a growl. Other times a full scream. I scared a couple of people the first time he did it. I stretched my eyes and I lifted him to my eye level. I don’t know what they thought I was about to do. I just asked him if he had something to say. Little bugger strokes my cheek and says, “No ma’am.”

When he gets upset sometimes he does the screaming cry. You know the one. It gets louder the more you try to get them to calm down. This is the child that was in the stroller at the Tiana meet and greet screaming saying the sun hurts, but did not want the shade down because he can’t see as much. I thought "okay hydration and food" so I offered a drink and a snack. Screaming and waving arms. Then since he didn't want the shade down I thought, "hat and shades". He pushed my hand away crying. What calmed that meltdown? Goldfish and a Caprisun…the same goldfish and Caprisun he had refused 30 seconds earlier.

Turned into a little Casanova as soon as Tiana returned from her break.

Then there’s my pre-teen daughter who also deals with ADHD and some mild sensory integration challenges. Like just being a pre-teen isn’t enough. Add puberty hormones and stir. I actually worry more about her having a meltdown than my 4 year-old. So a preschooler, a pre-teen and me. That’s the team. But each trip I learn more and more and our last was the lowest on the meltdown meter. Now just 2.5 weeks until we are back at our happy place, meltdown potential and all. Bring it. As long as WDW doesn’t run out of frozen lemonades.

 

[Anthony1971]

Kids are Kids...
Let a Kid be a Kid...
I love the parents who say my child behaves or the childless ......... Bringing a ?-? year old anywhere is a mixed bag you never know what will happen and if he or she does sit perfectly all the time as it is taught (think how) then you are just not letting him or her be a kid.. sitting or doing things quietly is not fun for a young child.
they just do not and never will behave the way you want all the time....
Running and hitting into people will happen...
Crawling under tables
talking loud on rides in quiet places
meltdowns
just doing odd things in general
and other days the perfect angel
one stage over next year something new enjoy it and do not get upset.

 

[GotLabradors]

Just think of all the funny Disney stories you'll be able to tell in a few years!


I had a meltdown when I was 5 and on our first Disney trip. Pluto walked away from me. I responded by grabbing his tail and pulling. My mom managed to snap a picture of it.

 

[ktlm]

Congratulations on your DD! Sounds like karma is coming back to get you if you tsk tsked at others before you had kids! I had a friend who had a DD who was totally out of control when she was a toddler- I can remember thinking my child when I had one would NEVER be allowed to act like that. Took us 4 years to get DD- and we got what they kindly refer to as "spirited". Spoke in full sentences at age 1 which I'm pretty sure is because she had definite opinions about everything, didn't want to be controlled, and wanted to tell us what she wanted at all times. She was high energy, wild, stubborn, opinionated, curious about everything, too smart for her own good, loud and difficult- totally like that child she was NEVER going to be like. My niece was docile, quiet, sat where you put her even at age 2, cried if you looked at her funny and never rocked the boat, and my BIL would look at our child and us like we were the worst family in the world- made comments here and there too. We discovered that each kid is going to have an inherent individual personality and despite best efforts and parenting techniques there isn't a whole lot you can do about that. Honestly, just keep telling yourself that the strong will is going to serve her well later in life. Those personalities stick with them- it is funny how we can look back now that DD is 8, and our niece is 12, and see how their personalities were pretty much set when they were toddlers. DD obviously handles herself much better now (most of the time), but she is still strong willed, has opinions on everything, doesn't really worry about what others think as she is more of a leader than a follower, and actually does pretty well for herself.


We got lucky at WDW when DD was 2 though. She was actually much better behaved there than she was at home! There was this time at age 3 though that we were getting on the boat from MK to WL to then catch ME and fly home. When she realized we were leaving MK for good and going home she started screaming the minute we were on the boat- and she continued screaming the entire boat ride until we got off at WL. I was so embarrassed. Some parents came up to me and said not to worry about it, we had all been there. When I explained we got on the boat to leave WDW and fly home, one Mom started laughing and said she cried when she had to leave WDW too. It made me feel a whole lot better.

When I see kids throwing fits, what runs through my head is usually "Oh those poor parents!"

Just enjoy each and every minute with your DD- they grow up way too fast!!!!!

 

[MandiC]

There's a reason we didn't bring our toddlers seriously though I think it would have been fine with them, but like you said, toddlers have a mind of their own (we actually didn't bring them so we could focus more on the things our older kids were interested in, they get to come with next year!). As much as we feel like everyone is staring and judging I think often times we are over thinking it I know I don't think anything of it when I see a tantruming toddler when we are out and about.

I totally understand the age thing, I am constantly asked if our 2 and 4 year old are twins. They are only 2lbs and 2 inches different in size, so whenever people ask I always think to myself "I wonder if they think he's the 'bad' twin" LOL