Just a different perspective here and I am honestly not trying to cause issues...
I agree she is being unreasonable about the coat. Does she feel the altercation itself was handled properly? I understand your child is a child and made a bad choice. The thing is, it seems your son would have had to push him pretty hard or be pretty physical to rip his coat and that would anger me as a mom if it wasn't being addressed. I just wonder if maybe she's making a big deal out of the jacket because she's angry about the incident itself.
It's not the route I would take, but I do have a child who has been hurt and the "boys will be boys" attitude is kind of infuriating. I am just wondering if all the other stuff has been addressed (punishment, apologies for trying to hurt him). If it has.. carry on. If it hasn't.. maybe that will calm her down a little?
Thanks for pointing this out... Maybe... when I met with the Principal, he actually told me not to be too hard on my son over this thing.
My son apologized to the other boy and served detention in school for the incident. He's grounded at home. And she knew it was his money that I was offering to her.