WWYD - Birthday Party Scheduling

[Ndusmama]

Apparently it isn't early enough since some of the guests already rsvp'd to other parties, which is why they can't come to my DD's ;-)

I know you are right. She won't really care. I've just been to all of these huge kids birthday parties and feel like my DD is missing out.

You may feel your daughter is missing out but she honestly won't care. You have to stop and consider what it is you want your daughter to learn. For instance with my girls (and this is just how I am. I am not saying this is how you should be, only that you should consider what is important to you to teach your daughter) I feel that my girls learn that the main people who really care about your birthday are your mommy (daddy comes and goes) and you yourself (whichever girls is having a birthday). I don't want my girls growing up and getting upset if that one person they thought should care about their birthday forgets. Does that make sense.

Anyway you do what you feel is right for your daughter. I personally wouldn't move the date but between now and her party she make some new friends that might want to come.

 

[scrapquitler]

I sent out my invite to my daughter's 3rd birthday party last weekend, 5 weeks in advance. Because it is summer, a lot of people have said they can't go. Right now only 2 of her friends have RSVP'd. If no one else is able to come but her 2friends and their parents, would you still have the party, or would you reschedule but still have a play date with the 2 friends in the original day? (I would still feed everyone during the play date and do cupcakes, and make sure they knew that no presents were needed. They would also be invited but not expected to come to the rescheduled party.)

I'm thinking it would be rude to reschedule. But I have this thought in the back of my mind that the parents of the 2 girls who are coming will judge me for not having a party with more people. What say you Disboards?

In the summer, (and most any time, but especially in the summer) I am NOT going to RSVP almost five weeks before the date of a child's birthday party. I'm going to wait until a few days before the RSVP deadline to decide. Family is the priority for us over kid birthday parties, and we just can't plan that far out.

That said: I wouldn't cancel if only a few were coming unless you are having the party somewhere that requires a minimum number.

 

[superme80]

I had a huge zoo party for my oldest's 3rd birthday. He HATED it! He didn't want to be around other kids, and just wanted his grandpa. So for my middle son we just did a small dinner with his grandparents. He was thrilled. I wouldn't reschedule. Just leave it as is. Less is more!

 

[ksjayhawks]

Apparently it isn't early enough since some of the guests already rsvp'd to other parties, which is why they can't come to my DD's ;-)

I know you are right. She won't really care. I've just been to all of these huge kids birthday parties and feel like my DD is missing out.

She isn't missing out. At that age she will have fun with whomever is there, whether it is one guest or two or five.

Go ahead with the planned party. Don't apologize for the small crowd, there is no reason to do that. You have nothing to apologize for; you can't control what other events people have or are committed to. Enjoy the party with those that are coming.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I just looked at pics from DS's third, and there seem to have been two neighbor kids, a pair of twins from playgroup, and his little cousin. They all look like they were having a great time playing here at the house!

I think a small party is good at that age - fun rather than overwhelming, and more centered on the birthday child than on keeping a large group happy.

Plus, I expect a few more RSVPs will trickle in. Some people haven't finalized all their summer plans yet.

 

[Disneylover99]

Keep the party as is. Small is better.
Remember, more kids do not equal more fun.

 

[Thing 1]

Agree with everyone else,keep the party the same. Your little one will have no idea that you expected more people to come and will have a blast. Unless you know for sure that no one else is coming, don't assume no RSVP means they are not. MANY times we have had no RSVP people show up. If it is just for sure the three little ones, I might would change the structure of the party a bit. Instead of lots of games or group activities, maybe do one toddler friendly craft that is a bit nicer. Instead of junky treat bags, maybe a slightly larger party favor they can enjoy together during the party. Instead of a huge whole sheet cake, maybe three really cute cupcakes and a few gourmet cupcakes for the moms. Instead of a ton of cheaper food, a smaller amount of something all will really enjoy. Embrace the opportunity.

 

[sksjasams]

I don't think you can really reschedule at this point. You would have to contact everyone that was on the invite list to let them know and that would just be awkward. Plus the new date may not work for the two people that already confirmed and may have turned down other plans at this point in order to attend your DD's party.

As the PPs have said your DD will have a terrific time either way.

Two tips for you:
1) Call the people you have not heard back from after the RSVP date has passed. This is the only way to get an accurate count. I also think it lets the people know that they should have responded either way.

2) Next year, email your DD's closest friends and make sure the date will work before the invitations are sent. My DS had the same 4 best friends since kindergarten. I would contact the moms and make sure the date was fine, saying we would choose a different date it if one couldn't make it. This way I was guaranteed the 4 friends who meant the most to my DS could be there. Anyone else who could join us would just be a bonus!

 

[Hikergirl]

I sent out my invite to my daughter's 3rd birthday party last weekend, 5 weeks in advance. Because it is summer, a lot of people have said they can't go. Right now only 2 of her friends have RSVP'd. If no one else is able to come but her 2friends and their parents, would you still have the party, or would you reschedule but still have a play date with the 2 friends in the original day? (I would still feed everyone during the play date and do cupcakes, and make sure they knew that no presents were needed. They would also be invited but not expected to come to the rescheduled party.)

I'm thinking it would be rude to reschedule. But I have this thought in the back of my mind that the parents of the 2 girls who are coming will judge me for not having a party with more people. What say you Disboards?

The party is 5 or 4 weeks from now? I think its way too early to be worried about it.

 

[Nettester]

First of all, do not reschedule the party. It's summer and people are busy. Those 2 that RSVP'd might NOT be available for the reschedule date, and will probably be annoyed. You aren't going to have a accurate count 4 weeks out. It's way too early. I would very likely not commit to a birthday party that early. I would call to follow up 5-7 days ahead of the party. If you still only have 2 guests, great opportunity to treat those kids to an extra-special fun party!

 

[cabanafrau]

You sent out the invites 5 weeks ahead, but how far out did you set your RSVP deadline?

 

[Lilacs4Me]

I feel your pain!!!

Two of my kids had birthday's this week (yesterday and Tuesday). Their birthdays fall smack in between Father's Day weekend and 4th of July weekend every year. We rarely have good luck with all of their friends being in town for a party, or not being busy with a family wedding or graduation. Ane we can't do "1/2" birthday's either, because those fall on Dec 28 and 29, and we run into the same issue.

We now just check with their closest friends and see when they are available, and plan a party around those dates. And we "over" invite, knowing that at least 1/3 of the kids won't be abel to come. I like their parties to stay in the 8-10 kid range, so we usually invite about 12 or so.

DD's birthday party will be on Aug 13 this year, because that is when her 2 best friend's will be available. Everyone else is just a bonus

DON'T take it personally! My 3rd child was born in February, and we have NEVER had a problem getting kids to attend his parties since it's in the middle of the Winter doldrums. It's seriously all about timing

 

[Funfire240]

It will be fine to keep the date. For my DD's 6th b-day she invited all other 9 girls in her kindergarten class- 3 showed up as it was over spring break. It didn't bother her one bit and she had a blast with the girls that were able to come. It's much harder on the mom when it happens but the kids are fine at that age

 

[cabanafrau]

I feel your pain!!!

Two of my kids had birthday's this week (yesterday and Tuesday). Their birthdays fall smack in between Father's Day weekend and 4th of July weekend every year. We rarely have good luck with all of their friends being in town for a party, or not being busy with a family wedding or graduation. Ane we can't do "1/2" birthday's either, because those fall on Dec 28 and 29, and we run into the same issue.

We now just check with their closest friends and see when they are available, and plan a party around those dates. And we "over" invite, knowing that at least 1/3 of the kids won't be abel to come. I like their parties to stay in the 8-10 kid range, so we usually invite about 12 or so.

DD's birthday party will be on Aug 13 this year, because that is when her 2 best friend's will be available. Everyone else is just a bonus

DON'T take it personally! My 3rd child was born in February, and we have NEVER had a problem getting kids to attend his parties since it's in the middle of the Winter doldrums. It's seriously all about timing

Exact same week as my oldest. Total pain in the neck timing wise.

 

[Hrhpd]

When is your RSVP By date? I don't think you can make any plans until then. I know that I would never RSVP to a summer party 5 weeks in advance since things fluctuate so much during the summer. You could have unexpected visitors, decide to make last minute weekend plans, etc. 1 to 2 weeks out I will have a better idea of what we are doing. If it was for my youngest child, I would have sports tournaments and games that may not be set in stone yet.

I would probably have it on my calendar, but would not RSVP until the latest I could possibly RSVP. (That is why, although they are tacky, I love evites because you can say maybe and then update later.)

Even if the worst happens and you only have 2 guests, keep the date. Changing it may interfere with those 2 people's availability and you may end up with nobody. Your daughter won't even remember her 3rd party. 2 children are fine. Don't fall into the trap of keeping up with the Joneses. From somebody who now has grown kids and lived in a community where everyone fell into step with those kinds of things, let me tell you, it was not worth it. Even the friends and neighbors won't remember in a few years that you had a small party.

If you really have to make an impression and want people to talk about your party, use the money you would have spent on favors, food, etc getting some entertainment. Pony rides, a magician. The kids will feel special if they are part of an intimate audience. Posting pictures of the children riding ponies will do the trick. (jk)

But all kidding aside, a play date with 3 children, treats and presents will be very special and probably more suited to a 3 year old. And more than likely as the date gets closer, you will get one or two more children which makes it a perfect size for a 3 year old.