Would You Sit at a Saved Table?

[tlbwriter]

The notice that had gone home to students ahead of time stated that there was limited seating to get there early and to please not hold seats.
The principal though had given us permission to hold our seats since we were working.
We placed signs on those seating stating reserved for PTO.
People ignored those signs and sat there anyway.
One would think that since it said reserved you wouldn't sit there but people did.

Well, the people were given mixed messages. They were told seats couldn't be reserved, and then they arrived and saw that someone had attempted to save seats. Can't really blame them if they decided someone must have not read the notice.

And I didn't want to move because DS had specifically asked his kids to save the table they did, as they had saved it for us many other times (with no problems)

Is this a special table? Why do you always want this particular table reserved? If it has the best view, or it's closest to the exit, or whatever, surely it's attractive to others as well.

There was no butt to put into a chair when the table was saved. The grandkids put their things on the table to save it, then they had other duties to tend to before the concert started. My Mom, DD and I got there at 6:30 (concert started at 7:00). There were maybe a dozen cars in the parking lot at that time, very few people in the actual auditorium (thus the reason for many open tables still) and we stopped to hug the grandkids and speak to their Mother first, then I happened to notice the woman sitting at the table and we went over after that to sit down.

So, you weren't even there yet but you felt that table should have been reserved for you. Not everybody thinks this way. I'm confused about the tables themselves - how many did they seat? Are they small enough that people would expect not to have to share, or is it typical that sharing is required?

I go to them often - including a banquet last Friday and a concert on Saturday, and I have to go to more this week. At the banquet, each table held 8 people. Two backpacks at one of those tables would "reserve" two seats at the table, not the whole table. Two backpacks on a row of 20 seats in an auditorium would reserve two seats, not the whole row.

This. Unless there were many small (4-5 seats) tables, I would assume that a SEAT is being reserved, not the entire table.

 

[ICF]

A couple of backpacks at a 10 person table doesnt save THE WHOLE TABLE.....

It saves spots for a couple of people.

I can't speak to why the other woman wanted to be at that table, but I dont think she has to expect that the whole table was save due to only a couple of backpacks. She has everyright to sit there. If you wanted the whole table, you should have found a way to have a real live person sitting there to communicate the need to have the whole table.

 

[ols386]

Getting passed the whole "right to save the table" issue...it's just weird to me that the woman would choose a seat (among many) that had stuff on them. I mean when I go into a room, I look for spots that don't have stuff in them. Same when I go to the doctor's office. I see someone sitting in a chair and go to another chair that gives space in between us. I think about bathrooms. If I have to go to a public bathroom, and I go in and see feet under the stall, I try to go to a stall as far away from the feet as possible. That's just the way I roll. But it NEVER FAILS that I will be in there doing my business and there will be empty stalls all around that someone will come in and sit in the stall right next to me!!!!!!!!!!!

If I were looking for a place to sit, I would not and never have sat in a chair and/or at a table where it looks like someone else is sitting or has reserved. If there were other seats available at another table, that looked open, that is where I would choose to sit. Maybe the other lady was rude or maybe she just didn't actually notice the backpacks.

 

[pospisil]

You put two backpacks on chairs at a table that has what 10 seats at it? Then you are annoyed that someone took one of the unoccupied seats? Really? Why wasn't anyone in your party at least sitting at the table? Why couldn't you very politely explain to the lady that the seats were being saved for family? Why couldn't you say "You are welcome to sit here but we are going to need more chairs?" A million responses could have difused the situation. I don't care if you sit at that table for every event, you were not at that table and unless you are a benefactor that paid for the building then as the old saying goes -you get what you get and you don't get upset. Sorry OP- you were totally wrong.

 

[Lehuaann]

Yes, I have sat in saved seats...especially since the conference I was attending made specific -clear- rules against saving seats.

There was a table of ladies with 2 open seats (the place was FULL) so my friend and I sat down. Then one of the ladies told us in a rude voice "our TABLE is saved." Mind you this was a huge church ladies conference. I cordially told them that there were no saving seats or TABLES allowed, and I sat my rump down. They wouldn't look or talk to us, but I didn't care. It was uncomfortable, but I acted like it didn't bother me. Come to find out they were not saving the extra seats for anyone, just the entire table for themselves. Anways, I continued to treat them very kindly and finally they warmed up. We ended up becoming friends with this group throughout the conference.

That-being-said. Under normal circumstances, if I saw someone's jacket on a chair, no, I wouldn't take someone's seat.

 

[msjprincess]

Getting passed the whole "right to save the table" issue...it's just weird to me that the woman would choose a seat (among many) that had stuff on them. I mean when I go into a room, I look for spots that don't have stuff in them. Same when I go to the doctor's office. I see someone sitting in a chair and go to another chair that gives space in between us. I think about bathrooms. If I have to go to a public bathroom, and I go in and see feet under the stall, I try to go to a stall as far away from the feet as possible. That's just the way I roll. But it NEVER FAILS that I will be in there doing my business and there will be empty stalls all around that someone will come in and sit in the stall right next to me!!!!!!!!!!!

Did the actual chair have the backpack on it? Or were the backpacks on the table or a different chair?

 

[Katy Belle]

At a school function, I would have thought that the chairs that had things placed on them were saved, but not the whole table!
So I might sit at empty chairs at that same table....

I agree with the above!
Especially if there was no one there to ask...I wouldn't assume the whole table would be saved. I would assume the chairs with backpacks were saved, any other chairs would be empty.

Also, I would not try to save a table with no one there. I HATE being late and always arrive early enough to get a good seat. I do save one seat for my DH, typically, but if the place is filling up and he's not there, about 5 min before the event, I give away HIS seat!

 

[NHdisneylover]

Okay, for starters, I have read all of the posts.

I am sorry OP, but I think your behaviour throughout was extremely rude.

First of all, I think saving seats in general is rude (unless it is an event with reserved seats for all--in which case you yourself are not saving anything--you are going to your reserved spot). I can understand if half or fewer of your party must get up to use the restroom, take a young child for a walk, purchase snacks, etc., but the MAJORITY of your party needs to have butts in seats in order to be anything but rude when claiming seats as yours. So, I think reserving seats by having someone who would not even be sitting there dump a couple of backpacks on the table is already way out of line.

Secondly, I agree with others that seeing two backpaks on a table would not have for one moment struck me as meant to save an entire table--so it is also possible that the woman simply did not know you even wanted to save the table (but even if she did know, I think it is okay to sit in seats someone is trying to improperly save--sorry but I do). I assume if you ALWAYS sit at this table it must be a pretty appealing spot--so it is probably appealing to the other people attending too.

Third, as you do seem to have realized (to your credit) your passive aggressive behaviour in talking loudly to each other making "hints" to the woman was immature and rude.

Finally, your quite below in which you state you were saving seats you might not even need makes it even ruder. So, those who arrive early and want the good seats cannot have them because you MIGHT need them later on? I am really speechless about that one.

Has nothing to do with not wanting to be social. Has everything to do with not being completely sure if we were going to need the entire table or not until everyone got there. If, after our entire party got there, late-comers needed to sit down that would have been completely fine.

You people must not ever go to school events, dance recitals, show choir competitions etc.

I rarely walk into any kid event that doesn't have whole tables saved or whole rows in auditoriums. I never even think about sitting in a saved seat or at a saved table. It is sometimes hard for an entire family to get to the event at the same time and the kids that put down their backpacks (or whatever) are usually required to be with the rest of the group performing.

I get there early and get the seat(s) I want/need. MAYBE if there were absolutely no other seats in the place, I might sit at the table.

If I was positive we wouldn't be needing all the chairs, then I would have been happy to chat with her. But I still feel it was rude of her to sit there after she found out (she didn't know before? Yeah, I think she probably did and just didn't care) the table was saved. Had the situation been reversed and I was sitting there, and people came up and thanked their grandchildren for "saving the table" and then were talking about who all was coming I would have said "oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize the table was saved" and I would have moved to an open table. I would certainly be able to understand if the people were a bit upset with me for staying at the table, when they had saved it for themselves and other family members/friends.

At next year's choir concerts I'll make sure to have DGS take books out of his backpack and put them on each individual chair, rather than just having backpacks and drinks ON the table.

I go to lots of such events. In the areas I lived in in both Michigan and New Hampshire the standards included that performers could NOT save any seats for families. EVER. And saving of seats meant bodies in those seats (one person or a parent and child leaving to go the restroom was okay--otherwise seats were not to be saved and I have seen staff remove jackets from seats and tell people they cannot save).

 

[punkin]

I went to Panera the other day. All the tables were taken except for one really big one, which had two elderly ladies sitting at one end. My girls and I smiled politely and sat at the other end to eat. No one said anything or complained. It never occurred to me the entire table could have been being "saved". I wonder if there is now an internet thread somewhere about how rude I was.

 

[mdsoccermom]

If I were looking for a place to sit, I would not and never have sat in a chair and/or at a table where it looks like someone else is sitting or has reserved. If there were other seats available at another table, that looked open, that is where I would choose to sit. Maybe the other lady was rude or maybe she just didn't actually notice the backpacks.

There's nothing that said the backpacks were on the chair the woman sat in (of course, the OP could easly and conveniently come back and say they were to make her story fit). All we know is that 2 backpacks were at a table that presumably sits many people. 2 backbacks generally means 2 spaces.

 

[LuvLDM]

MIGrandma appears to be VERY possessive of her "space". First it is kids in a park *gasp*, now it is an old lady sitting at a table. What's next? Someone parking in the space next to yours?

MTE
....but as another poster pointed out, pooping in her yard is just fine

 

[Deb in IA]

Has nothing to do with not wanting to be social. Has everything to do with not being completely sure if we were going to need the entire table or not until everyone got there. If, after our entire party got there, late-comers needed to sit down that would have been completely fine.

I think it is incredibly presumptuous of you to take an entire table of 10, with only a backpack or two and a drink, and not even knowing if you would actually need all those seats.

IF you are going to "save" seats, you should at least know how many you are saving.

MIGrandma appears to be VERY possessive of her "space". First it is kids in a park *gasp*, now it is an old lady sitting at a table. What's next? Someone parking in the space next to yours?

No I do not. But I think in this case the history of "space" issues is relevant to the topic at hand.

BTW, not sure why that needed to be in a PM?

Oh, that is just really classy.

Most people know that PM's are just that: private.

I wonder if copying a private message into a thread is against the Dis rules.

I don't know why it would be against the rules. It is MY message, is it not?

Thank you, wvjules and MIGrandma for a very entertaining (and enlightening) exchange! This was hilarious!!

And for what it is worth, I think the OP has a history of posting a question, and then disagreeing with anyone who doesn't share her opinion.

 

[mdsoccermom]

I guess I don't see a reason why a whole table full of people should have to move because one woman decided to sit at a table that was obviously saved. And I didn't want to move because DS had specifically asked his kids to save the table they did, as they had saved it for us many other times (with no problems) and being this is DS's DD's last concert since she is a senior and will be graduating in two weeks. DS barely had time to drive home from work, take a shower and get to the concert.

If I had been the woman, I never would have sat at a saved table, or even if I did and then the people came I would at least ask, politely (not crabby like she did) if they were going to need the entire table. If they weren't sure, I still would have moved. Oh well, like I said in the end it worked out okay but I was just curious to see other opinions on what they would do in this same situation.

Did your family pay big money to have that table be yours? Is your name on a plaque on the table?

What would have happened if you had moved? Your granddaughter's last concert ruined forever because you had to sit at a different cafeteria table? Your son wouldn't have been able to find you?

So many question...

 

[stashbin]

MTE
....but as another poster pointed out, pooping in her yard is just fine

Bringing up past posts of posters to make that poster look foolish sounds like bullying to me. I only quoted you, but I have seen several people do this on this thread. This is becoming more and more common. The rub the nose in the poop method.

 

[MIGrandma]

I think it is incredibly presumptuous of you to take an entire table of 10, with only a backpack or two and a drink, and not even knowing if you would actually need all those seats.

IF you are going to "save" seats, you should at least know how many you are saving.










Thank you, wvjules and MIGrandma for a very entertaining (and enlightening) exchange! This was hilarious!!

And for what it is worth, I think the OP has a history of posting a question, and then disagreeing with anyone who doesn't share her opinion.

No, it doesn't bother me in the slightest when people disagree with me. We all have different opinions. It's the meanness in the disagreeing that I find unnecessary. And the bringing up of previous threads and posting a private message is just so extremely childish. Thankfully I do have thick skin, and can just shake my head at posters who don't know how to respectfully disagree without all of the added nonsense.

 

[MUFFYCAT]

Did your family pay big money to have that table be yours? Is your name on a plaque on the table?

What would have happened if you had moved? Your granddaughter's last concert ruined forever because you had to sit at a different cafeteria table? Your son wouldn't have been able to find you?

So many question...

I was thinking the same things, I love this response.

Props to the woman for not moving. I still don't get if there were other tables why couldn't you move? I'm sure they would have seen you sitting at a different table.

I can't believe all those years I went to my kids school functions I was suppose to sit in the same seat so they'd know exactly where to see us.

 

[stashbin]

No, it doesn't bother me in the slightest when people disagree with me. We all have different opinions. It's the meanness in the disagreeing that I find unnecessary. And the bringing up of previous threads and posting a private message is just so extremely childish. Thankfully I do have thick skin, and can just shake my head at posters who don't know how to respectfully disagree without all of the added nonsense.

I just posted that I thought this kind of behavior was like bullying.

 

[wvjules]

I just posted that I thought this kind of behavior was like bullying.

Really? That is considered bullying?

 

[Bob NC]

I always hated it when my wife and I would rush home from work and get ready to go to one of the kids school events, rush over there to try to get a good seat only to find out that there are only 10 humans in the room but 75 of the best seats are "reserved."

We finally learned that the "trick" was kids putting a note on them to reserve them for parents to be able to arrive close to event start time and have good seats.

Face it, this time your skirting common rules of fairness didn't work. I have a feeling that most of the time you do get your way and you are most likely way ahead of the "rule following" curve.

 

[mdsoccermom]

I just posted that I thought this kind of behavior was like bullying.

And yet another person overuses that word.