Would You Sit at a Saved Table?

[goofy4tink]

A few thoughts...didn't bother reading the entire thread since I'm pretty sure I know what has been said.
To the OP.....were all the seats taken with personal belongings? Or were you just hoping that a few jackets and backpacks would lead others to believe the entire table was reserved? If only some seats were 'taken' then the empty seats are fair game.
Would I have taken one of those seats? No, but that's just me. Perhaps the woman didn't want to sit all by herself and thought it would be fine to take an 'unclaimed' seat at that table.

As far as the PTO reserved seats....if it was general knowledge that reserving seats was not going to be tolerated, perhaps those that took those seats felt they were in the right doing so. They may have thought that someone just took it upon themselves to 'reserve' seats and that it was against the rules.

I'm a firm believer in get there early, get your seats. If you are late, then take what's left. It's fine to save a seat or two, but not for the entire group. I truly hate it when people get to something very early, go in and save two rows of seats and then go back out. Then, their late arriving group can just amble on in and take a prime seat....while those who got there at the correct time are left with lesser seats. At our shows we tend to go out and take off the 'things' that have been left on the unattended seats...and we make an announcement to that effect out in the lobby...several times.

 

[ilovemk76]

I went to my DGD's and DGS's choir concert at the high school last night. DH wasn't able to go (planting corn) but I took my Mom and my DD with me. DGD and DGS saved a table for us, with their book bags, a drink, etc. When we got there we stopped to talk to them for a few minutes, then I glanced over at our table (we always sit at the same one) and there was an older woman sitting there. Nobody wanted to tell her to move, but when we walked over to the table I thanked the kids for saving the table for us. We started talking about how many seats we were going to need, so we just expected she would get up and move when she found out the table had been saved. But who would sit down at a table where stuff was already at anyway?

She didn't budge. Even though there were other empty tables where she could have sat. As we were talking about how many seats we needed she said "well, how many do you need?" real crabby like and said she "only needed one more." I wasn't positive at that point, as DS and his fiance hadn't gotten there yet, and I wasn't sure if his fiance was bringing her two daughters. But when DS got there they didn't have the girls with them. The grandchildren's Mom had planned on sitting with us as well, but in not knowing for sure if there would be enough seats she sat at the table beside us instead. In the end the woman's friend/relative she was saving a second seat for never showed up, so there were still three empty chairs so it ended up being okay but it just seemd very odd, and rude, to me that she stayed put even when she found out the table was saved. I could never do that, had I been in her shoes. I would have gotten up and moved immediately, well, no....I just never would have sat down at a table that had bags, etc. already on it.

I wonder what she would have done, had I told her when she asked how many seats we needed that we needed the entire table and would have to add a chair or two as it was. I wonder if she would have moved then, or kept her butt parked there anyway.

Would you sit at a saved table at a school function?

So you put backpacks at a table you claim is yours and then all the people leave. How was it rude for her to sit there. For all she new the backpacks had not more backpacks joining them. If you wanted it so bad they you needed to put your butts in the seats.

Since there were other tables why did you not just move to one of them.

Seems like you were being petty. The seat(s) was open and she took it/them.

 

[jrmasm]

Okay, I should have said "potential whole table full of people to move", since everyone wasn't there yet and I didn't know if DS's fiance was bringing her girls too, sorry.



There was no butt to put into a chair when the table was saved. The grandkids put their things on the table to save it, then they had other duties to tend to before the concert started. My Mom, DD and I got there at 6:30 (concert started at 7:00). There were maybe a dozen cars in the parking lot at that time, very few people in the actual auditorium (thus the reason for many open tables still) and we stopped to hug the grandkids and speak to their Mother first, then I happened to notice the woman sitting at the table and we went over after that to sit down.

How does a couple of backpacks save an entire table? Was each family supposed to get it's own individual table? That's the only way I could think of that the woman would know she shouldn't sit there.

This ^ is probably what happened. Having someone at the table could have prevented it. Or maybe next time, grab a table when you get there. Didn't you say there were plenty that were empty?

 

[luvsJack]

You people must not ever go to school events, dance recitals, show choir competitions etc.

I rarely walk into any kid event that doesn't have whole tables saved or whole rows in auditoriums. I never even think about sitting in a saved seat or at a saved table. It is sometimes hard for an entire family to get to the event at the same time and the kids that put down their backpacks (or whatever) are usually required to be with the rest of the group performing.

I get there early and get the seat(s) I want/need. MAYBE if there were absolutely no other seats in the place, I might sit at the table.

 

[ilovemk76]

I did already say there were other open tables where she could have sat, so she did have "other options".

And you had other options too.

 

[jrmasm]

So you put backpacks at a table you claim is yours and then all the people leave. How was it rude for her to sit there. For all she new the backpacks had not more backpacks joining them. If you wanted it so bad they you needed to put your butts in the seats.

Since there were other tables why did you not just move to one of them.

Seems like you were being petty. The seat(s) was open and she took it/them.

Nope, the OP didn't save the table. I think she said her granchildren did and that they were in the concert. It doesn't even sound like the people that saved the table sat at the table.

 

[ols386]

So you put backpacks at a table you claim is yours and then all the people leave. How was it rude for her to sit there. For all she new the backpacks had not more backpacks joining them. If you wanted it so bad they you needed to put your butts in the seats.

Since there were other tables why did you not just move to one of them.

Seems like you were being petty. The seat(s) was open and she took it/them.

I think the same could be said about the other lady. If there were other tables, why did she not sit at one of them?

If I saw backpacks either on the chairs or the table, I would not sit there because I would think the table was reserved for others.

 

[Acklander]

I hate that whole concept of leaving things on a chair or table makes it yours. If I go early to "reserve" myself and my group a certain table, then I also make sure that at least two or three of us are actively sitting there at all times. Then, if someone comes up, you can politely say, "I'm sorry all of these seats are taken." Otherwise, I'm with FireDancer, leaving things on a table and walking away doesn't "save it."

This. If your family wanted the entire table, you should have had the family sitting there, not just dropping a backpack and a drink. Next time, have everyone show up earlier so it won't be an issue.

 

[msjprincess]

You people must not ever go to school events, dance recitals, show choir competitions etc.

I rarely walk into any kid event that doesn't have whole tables saved or whole rows in auditoriums. I never even think about sitting in a saved seat or at a saved table. It is sometimes hard for an entire family to get to the event at the same time and the kids that put down their backpacks (or whatever) are usually required to be with the rest of the group performing.

I get there early and get the seat(s) I want/need. MAYBE if there were absolutely no other seats in the place, I might sit at the table.

I have 3 school aged kids. So yes I do go to a lot of school events.

And no I have never seen anyone save an entire table or row. One or two seats sure, but not enough for an entire family.

Like I already said, how would the woman know they needed/wanted the entire table?

 

[ilovemk76]

I guess I don't see a reason why a whole table full of people should have to move because one woman decided to sit at a table that was obviously saved. And I didn't want to move because DS had specifically asked his kids to save the table they did, as they had saved it for us many other times (with no problems) and being this is DS's DD's last concert since she is a senior and will be graduating in two weeks. DS barely had time to drive home from work, take a shower and get to the concert.

If I had been the woman, I never would have sat at a saved table, or even if I did and then the people came I would at least ask, politely (not crabby like she did) if they were going to need the entire table. If they weren't sure, I still would have moved. Oh well, like I said in the end it worked out okay but I was just curious to see other opinions on what they would do in this same situation.

Because it was not a table full of people it was a table that had two teenager's backpacks at it and NO people. She only needed two seats so she took those and SAT down. When you got back there were only three of you, two being teenages. All three of you were standing so moving to the table next to you was not exactly hard to do.

 

[akhenaten]

Because it was not a table full of people it was a table that had two teenager's backpacks at it and NO people. She only needed two seats so she took those and SAT down. When you got back there were only three of you, two being teenages. All three of you were standing so moving to the table next to you was not exactly hard to do.

The saved table must have had a good view!

 

[nancytoby]

An older woman (older than a grandmother?) sits alone at a choir concert. Obviously she has few friends or relatives there with her at a small community event.

The KIND and COMPASSIONATE thing to do would be to strike up a conversation with her, make her feel welcome in your group, and get to know her as a fellow member of your community.

Instead you chose the opposite approach.

 

[MIGrandma]

You people must not ever go to school events, dance recitals, show choir competitions etc.

I rarely walk into any kid event that doesn't have whole tables saved or whole rows in auditoriums. I never even think about sitting in a saved seat or at a saved table. It is sometimes hard for an entire family to get to the event at the same time and the kids that put down their backpacks (or whatever) are usually required to be with the rest of the group performing.

Yup.

This. If your family wanted the entire table, you should have had the family sitting there, not just dropping a backpack and a drink. Next time, have everyone show up earlier so it won't be an issue.

Because it was not a table full of people it was a table that had two teenager's backpacks at it and NO people. She only needed two seats so she took those and SAT down. When you got back there were only three of you, two being teenages. All three of you were standing so moving to the table next to you was not exactly hard to do.

I love how people don't read (and not just this thread, I've seen it so often before) what the OP says.

Acklander: I already said everyone couldn't show up early. My Mom, DD and I got there at 6:30 (concert started at 7:00) but DS and his fiance couldn't get there early because they had to work. DS barely had time to take a shower before they left to come to the concert, and they didn't stop to eat dinner either.

ilovemk: No, there were not two teenagers of the three at the table at first. I said, it was myself, my Mom and my DD. The teenagers were my DGD and DGS, that saved the table, that were involved in the concert.

Maybe people should actually read and comprehend before they pass judgment.

 

[Scurvy]

Okay, I should have said "potential whole table full of people to move", since everyone wasn't there yet and I didn't know if DS's fiance was bringing her girls too, sorry.

I think the actual person who would have to move trumps the potential people who might have to choose different seats but wouldn't have to move since they weren't there to begin with. She found a seat that hadn't been claimed yet and sat in it. Then your family showed up and tried to run her off just in case you needed her seat for someone else. How was she supposed to know that the entire table was supposed to be saved? A couple of people had apparently claimed seats at the table. That didn't mean the whole table was reserved. Even you didn't know if you would have enough people to fill the entire table, so how was a complete stranger supposed to know that all the seats were saved for people who potentially might show up?

You people must not ever go to school events, dance recitals, show choir competitions etc.

I rarely walk into any kid event that doesn't have whole tables saved or whole rows in auditoriums. I never even think about sitting in a saved seat or at a saved table. It is sometimes hard for an entire family to get to the event at the same time and the kids that put down their backpacks (or whatever) are usually required to be with the rest of the group performing.

I get there early and get the seat(s) I want/need. MAYBE if there were absolutely no other seats in the place, I might sit at the table.

I go to them often - including a banquet last Friday and a concert on Saturday, and I have to go to more this week. At the banquet, each table held 8 people. Two backpacks at one of those tables would "reserve" two seats at the table, not the whole table. Two backpacks on a row of 20 seats in an auditorium would reserve two seats, not the whole row. If the OP's family wanted to be absolutely certain to have those specific seats, they needed to get there early enough to be sitting in them before someone else decided to sit there. Another option would have been to have someone physically there to tell everyone that the seats were being held. Otherwise, they should have placed an item on each seat they wanted to hold, and hopefully no one would have moved the items to take the seats. Claiming a few seats at a table or on a row isn't going to communicate to everyone else that the entire table or row is saved. Can you imagine if everyone assumed that a table or row was reserved just because one seat at the table or in the row was saved? If that was the case, the vast majority of tables at our banquet would have had only two or three people at them, and everyone else would have been standing around until the banquet started! Certainly when someone is sitting at the table or in a row, it's polite to ask them if the other seats around them are open or they are being saved for someone else. But when no one is there, it's completely reasonable to assume that the only seats that have been claimed are the ones that have items on them and that any empty seats are up for grabs.

 

[MIGrandma]

An older woman (older than a grandmother?) sits alone at a choir concert. Obviously she has few friends or relatives there with her at a small community event.

The KIND and COMPASSIONATE thing to do would be to strike up a conversation with her, make her feel welcome in your group, and get to know her as a fellow member of your community.

Instead you chose the opposite approach.

If I was positive we wouldn't be needing all the chairs, then I would have been happy to chat with her. But I still feel it was rude of her to sit there after she found out (she didn't know before? Yeah, I think she probably did and just didn't care) the table was saved. Had the situation been reversed and I was sitting there, and people came up and thanked their grandchildren for "saving the table" and then were talking about who all was coming I would have said "oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize the table was saved" and I would have moved to an open table. I would certainly be able to understand if the people were a bit upset with me for staying at the table, when they had saved it for themselves and other family members/friends.

At next year's choir concerts I'll make sure to have DGS take books out of his backpack and put them on each individual chair, rather than just having backpacks and drinks ON the table.

 

[Acklander]

Yup.





I love how people don't read (and not just this thread, I've seen it so often before) what the OP says.

Acklander: I already said everyone couldn't show up early. My Mom, DD and I got there at 6:30 (concert started at 7:00) but DS and his fiance couldn't get there early because they had to work. DS barely had time to take a shower before they left to come to the concert, and they didn't stop to eat dinner either.


Maybe people should actually read and comprehend before they pass judgment.

OK - if everyone couldn't show up early, then everyone will just have to accept that they might not get to sit together. My reading comprehension says that when you arrived - "your table" had no people sitting at it to save it, but just some backpacks and a drink. You stopped to talk to your grandchildren who were sitting elsewhere and glanced over at "your" table and saw someone else sitting there. I just think that since the other lady got to the table and sat down before anyone from your family who planned on sitting there even arrived that makes it her table, not yours - and no, I don't think that it becomes your table just because you had sat there on previous occasions. Do I understand it correctly now?

 

[kirbsam]

I agree.

I also agree that both parties in the situation were rude. It is rude to try to save an entire table but, unless there was nowhere else to sit (or the other places to sit were not as good), I'd likely have sat elsewhere. However, I also agree that the woman likely didn't realise that all the seats at the table were saved (which leaves the OP as the only rude one in the situation).

op was the only rude one. talking about how many seats they need like the lady wasnt even there. good for the lady for calling the op out on this one. it is so rude to talk over someone in the hopes that they "get" what you are trying to do. love the lady for not taking it. next time tip the chairs into the table that you are using.

 

[wvjules]

MIGrandma appears to be VERY possessive of her "space". First it is kids in a park *gasp*, now it is an old lady sitting at a table. What's next? Someone parking in the space next to yours?

 

[msjprincess]

op was the only rude one. talking about how many seats they need like the lady wasnt even there. good for the lady for calling the op out on this one. it is so rude to talk over someone in the hopes that they "get" what you are trying to do. love the lady for not taking it. next time tip the chairs into the table that you are using.

Or even better, stay at the table and when someone shows up politely say sorry we need these seats. Don't expect strangers to become psychic when they see a couple of backpacks.

 

[nancytoby]

If I was positive we wouldn't be needing all the chairs, then I would have been happy to chat with her. But I still feel it was rude of her to sit there after she found out (she didn't know before? Yeah, I think she probably did and just didn't care) the table was saved. Had the situation been reversed and I was sitting there, and people came up and thanked their grandchildren for "saving the table" and then were talking about who all was coming I would have said "oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize the table was saved" and I would have moved to an open table. I would certainly be able to understand if the people were a bit upset with me for staying at the table, when they had saved it for themselves and other family members/friends. At next year's choir concerts I'll make sure to have DGS take books out of his backpack and put them on each individual chair, rather than just having backpacks and drinks ON the table.

Passive aggressive much? Do you have some kind of disability which prevents you from addressing a fellow human being directly, rather than the indirect approach of speaking VERY LOUDLY TO YOUR GRANDCHILDREN in order to be hostile to a single older person sitting alone in chairs YOU DIDN'T EVEN NEED?