Would You Sign A Prenuptial Agreement Before Your Wedding?

[Feralpeg]

Absolutely. I don't want to appear jaded, but I've had several friends taken to the cleaners by someone they thought they would be with forever.

I've worked very hard in my life to attain a good financial position for myself and my DD. I would want to make sure that nothing would happen to jeopardize that position. At this point in my life, I doubt I will ever marry. I might live with someone, but I don't see the need to bind myself legally to someone at this stage in my life. And, I would be glad to agree to never go after his assets if we were to part.

 

[PrincessKitty1]

I'd consider it, but not if it was presented to me as a surprise a couple of days before the wedding--in that case I would tell the guy to take a hike. Really, people need to settle on their finances BEFORE they plan the wedding. It was never an issue with DH and I because neither of us brought much financially to the relationship. We were just young, broke, and in love.

Edited to add: Dh and I lived together for 10 years before we married, so technically we weren't particularly young when we got married, but we were young when we met! But we combined our money to save for a house, go back to school, etc.

 

[meandtheguys2]

Sure I would! I am not marrying the person for their money.

I dont think being proactive about choices means you are "planning" to get divorced - I dont think many marry w/ the 'plans' to divorce. BUT, sadly, things go wrong sometimes.

It has nothing to do with money, and everything to do with integrity. If my integrity is at all in doubt, I wouldn't marry that person. And neither would I marry someone whose integrity I doubted.

 

[Camicar]

If I ever get married again, they'd have to sign one. My assets are for my daughter's college education. Period. If they can't understand that, well then they can't understand me enough to marry me

That is exactly how I feel. I want my assets to go to my dd, period.

Quite honestly, worrying about that is enough to make me not want to get married again. I know too many people who have been taken to the cleaner's by their formerly-loving spouse or their lives made hell by the same. (Including my father trying to screw over my mother financially for 10 years after the divorce. They were most certainly not in Paul McCartney's tax bracket, but greed is greed, regardless of the sum.)

ETA:

Their step-siblings have the house, the house in Florida, and all the money.

Yes, that happened to acquaintances of ours. Wife and 2nd husband die in a car crash. Coroner's office determines wife died first, husband second. The wife owned a lot of family heirloom jewelry. Bec the wife died first, the jewelry went to husband, who is also dead. So his belongings go to his adult kids. Adult kids practically are dancing on the graves with glee bec these heirlooms are gorgeous. Naturally, they refuse to give anything over to the woman's own children, including an engagement ring more than 120 years old and are seen around town flaunting their 'haul' before they sell it for cash. They took them to court, and the court ruled in favor of the vultures.

 

[Principessa Alba]

We may urge my kids to have the people they marry sign them.

 

[disykat]

I would sign in the case of a family business or children from previous relationships to protect. There comes a point when you HAVE to protect assets that rightfully belong to someone outside the marriage and both parties should see that. I would expect the prenup to separate out those issues from personal wealth or wealth accrued during the marriage.

I probably would not sign due to personal wealth.

 

[Principessa Alba]

I have a friend whose son married his high school sweetheart. I met her and liked her very much. They were a cute couple. They'd been together 7 or 8 years when they married.

My friend and her husband gave them the down for their house and guess what, 6 months later they divorced and she took 1/2 the procedes for a house in an expensive area.

You can never tell.

edited to add: she left him.

 

[Va-bear]

It has nothing to do with money, and everything to do with integrity. If my integrity is at all in doubt, I wouldn't marry that person. And neither would I marry someone whose integrity I doubted.

I wouldnt marry someone who's integrity I doubted either - and, you are right, that has nothing to do with money. Which is why I wouldn't mind signing a pre-nup, takes the money aspect out of it and makes it truly about love, integrity, or whatever it is you want in the relationship that is not money.

 

[Pigeon]

Nope, not a chance.

 

[palmtreegirl]

No.

 

[Robinrs]

20 and stupid.. no

50 and wise... heck yes!

If you come in with nothing you go out with nothing. If you established a LOT and just might be entering a contract that has a 50/50 change of making it... sorry, I'm not much of a gambler.

 

[meandtheguys2]

I wouldnt marry someone who's integrity I doubted either - and, you are right, that has nothing to do with money. Which is why I wouldn't mind signing a pre-nup, takes the money aspect out of it and makes it truly about love, integrity, or whatever it is you want in the relationship that is not money.

I wouldn't ask the person I loved enough to marry to "prove" their integrity by signing a paper.

 

[Art Vandalay]

I wouldn't ask the person I loved enough to marry to "prove" their integrity by signing a paper.

A person that loved me would understand that my daughter's education must be protected. We can play this game all day. Doesn't make you any better or me any better.

 

[Va-bear]

I wouldn't ask the person I loved enough to marry to "prove" their integrity by signing a paper.

Yeah, that's not why I would sign one. It would be to show we are two _individuals_ marrying for love and only love.

 

[Chipperdini]

No.

 

[meandtheguys2]

A person that loved me would understand that my daughter's education must be protected. We can play this game all day. Doesn't make you any better or me any better.

Golly, I didn't mean to make myself seem better. Was just stating my point. I understand how important your daughter is to you. She is your primary concern. That is all good and well for you.

I just look at it in a different manner. Which is ok for me and mine.

 

[mickeyboat]

Yeah, that's not why I would sign one. It would be to show we are two _individuals_ marrying for love and only love.

I used to see it that way, too - when I was young and blinded by love and didn't have anything. But I have other considerations at this point in my life besides myself, and I would be risking something that might not really belong to only me if I didn't protect it. I have also been somewhat hardened in my views on love as time moves forward, watching friends who I thought would never stop loving one another, divorce.

Denae

 

[Art Vandalay]

Golly, I didn't mean to make myself seem better. Was just stating my point. I understand how important your daughter is to you. She is your primary concern. That is all good and well for you.

I just look at it in a different manner. Which is ok for me and mine.

Fair enough. I guess I was reading more into it. Thanks for the clarification

 

[meandtheguys2]

Fair enough. I guess I was reading more into it. Thanks for the clarification

You are welcome. It is amazing how things "sound" in print sometimes!

 

[Principessa Alba]

So those of you that wouldn't sign one, fill in the blanks for me.

You're in love. You are about to get married. Your fiance says he wants one signed (this happened to some friends of ours years and years ago. She almost called off the wedding but signed, they stayed married for 30 years and just recently divorced.)

What do you do? Call off the wedding or try to manipulate the situation in your favor, meaning, you talk your fiance into doing something they don't want to do?