Would you put yourself in a financial bind to help a family member?

[eliza61]

I haven't read all the replies to this point, just saw the $700 electric bill issue. I am not sure the state that your brother and/or his ex live in. However, I know that it many cold weather states the electric companies can NOT turn off power from certain dates of the year.

If you are in one of those states, check your local laws. It might just be a ploy to get more of his money.

You have to be careful though, for example in NJ even though it's a bit chilly right now it is not considered cold weather yet and if they turn off your electricity say today, they do not have to turn it back on when it gets cold.

 

[AlwaysMoving]

I have not read all of the replies, so if I am repeating I apologize.

An electricity bill of $700 sounds crazy high even if you are behind. If it is an actual bill, I chalk it up to continued poor money management. Air conditioniong is not an absolute necessity of life. Keeping the house at 72 degrees is not either. Having kids does not mean you have to utilize that heat and air in an excessive manner. If you have babies or toddlers, then yes, I could see it, but children of 12 and older can wear heavier clothing to compensate for a chillier temp in the house. She is on a budget and should live accordingly. 64 degrees is cold in a house, but when you live somewhere that a warmer temp means you can't afford heat, you learn to live with it. Same goes for air conditioning. You keep use to a minimum to avoid a stroke, not just because you prefer not to sweat.

 

[robinb]

If he went to court and told them the electric and heat are getting shut off... the court would just appoint her a rep that would help her get free stuff from the gov't and cheaper housing..... wouldn't change anything...

Except the children would have an apartment with electricity.

 

[pixiewings71]

Doesn't child support have to be paid through the court? If he pays early wouldn't the court record that? Regardless, here is my advice which builds on the advice of a PP.

Instead of paying over the child support amount, I would take her back to court for custody (it sounds like they aren't in the best environment so it isn't out of malice, it's a safety issue). Then he can use the child support $$ to pay someone to watch the kids while he is out of town. The wife will likely have to pay something in child support if this happens as well so that will also contribute to the cost of someone to care for the kids.

If the above is not possible, I would stop paying above the amount and set it aside for child care. Then if the heat does get cut off, the children can stay with him and the amount that he would have paid over the court ordered CS amount plus anything he would have contributed to this outstanding electric bill could help pay for child care.

I'm sorry that he is having to go through this and even sorrier that the kids are having to go through it too.

No, not all child support is regulated through the court. Mine is not, I simply receive a monthly payment (of way less than I should be getting) from his bank account directly to mine.

If they are truly 50/50 he shouldn't be paying child support at all.
Further, if she no longer has electricity, he should let her know that the children are welcome to stay at his home until she figures something out.

Again, not always. It depends on where you live and how much you each make.

I pretty sure that this is not true in PA. Child support can still be ordered if there is a huge difference in the incomes of the parents when the marriage is dissolved.

I spoke with my brother last night. He won't be giving the ex January's child support right now. For one reason, he just doesn't have it. And the other reason is that he knows that she will only spend it all and then be back in January (or even earlier) asking for February's child support.

So now he is trying to put a plan in place in the event that the kids need to stay at his house for an extended period of time. I suggested that maybe he could find someone from his church who is looking for some extra money for the holidays. Maybe a retired person or a college student. His church community has been very supportive and they are very close knit. He really only needs someone to be with them after school and through the night.

I want to thank everyone for their input. It really helped me so that I could listen to my brother and offer workable solutions.

I'm glad your brother is going to tell her "no". Her request is unreasonable and he shouldn't be expected to bail her out. Especially if she has a drinking problem. I like the suggestion you gave him about finding someone through the church who can help with the kids in the event he has to go out of town and they have unacceptable living conditions with their Mom. Good luck to him, he sounds like a great guy!!

 

[Halbleib1]

In PA there are plenty of options for low income help. She can even apply for emergency LIHEAP. If I were your brother I would not give her a penny until it is due. Yes they can turn your elect.off in winter but usually do not if you are willing to work with them. They will try a payment plan as well as telling you how to apply for help. Also they typically do not let you get that far behind any more.

 

[Halbleib1]

In PA there are plenty of options for low income help. She can even apply for emergency LIHEAP. If I were your brother I would not give her a penny until it is due. Yes they can turn your elect.off in winter but usually do not if you are willing to work with them. They will try a payment plan as well as telling you how to apply for help. Also they typically do not let you get that far behind any more.

Just saw your update good for him.

 

[Halbleib1]

In PA they can turn off your elect. In winter now. That law changed about 6 or 7 years ago. Typically as I said they do not unless you are not willing to work with them. Once you agree to a payment plan you need to follow through and not miss a payment.

 

[2binak]

Op - I'm glad your brother is sticking to the court ordered child support payment schedule & not giving his ex 2 months advance on payments. He's really setting himself up for a long road of co-dependency from her if he does give in.

A co-worker of mine set up a checking account just for child support payments. The money was used only to pay bills, by check, that pertained to the kids. I think this was by far, the smartest thing I had ever heard of. It protected both the father, who was making payments, and the mother, who was using the money to pay the kids' bills.

 

[buckirj1]

It sounds like the ones who are really hurting in this situation are the children. That's no way to expect kids to live. Is Bro willing to go back to court for custody of his children?

Why, oh why do people continue to have children when they can't even take care of themselves???

 

[aggielawyer]

Why, oh why do people continue to have children when they can't even take care of themselves???

We were just having this discussion in CPS court this week, and I heard the best explanation yet...because it takes planning to not have children, and some people just aren't capable of planning ahead.