Would you let your SON dress up as a princess at Disney?

[Liberty Belle]

I think it's great that everyone says they'd stand up to rude people, and the blogger was proud her son wore the girl costume. But at what expense? Kids can see when they're being made fun of, and by then, it's too late. Sure, his mom stands up for him and shuts people up, but the damage is already done. People are cruel, pure and simple. Why tempt it and let someone hurt his feelings at that age? When he's older and wants to defend himself, great, but at such a young age with tender feelings, I just wouldn't want to let complete strangers ruin his fun.

Because children are going to get made fun of, period. At one time in their life or another someone is going to make fun of them and hurt their feelings. I think it's a good thing for it to happen when a parent is around so the parent can model how the child should react (and to help soothe the hurt).

 

[Magpie]

I find it interesting that some of the posters who are so "open minded" and would let their son dress as a princess are suprisingly closed minded and intolerant of any poster that disagrees with their view.

I would tell my son no-I also told him no about a t-shirt with monkeys passing gas on each other that my dad bought him. I am the parent and if I am uncomfortable with the way my child is being presented I can change it.

It is ridiculous to act like princess costumes are for boys, the last time I checked, there were no male princesses any where in the world-they are called prince.

The difference is that it's easy to tell a little boy that he can't have a princess dress. There's no risk! If he goes outside in his jeans, no one's going to say a word against him or his parents. However, it's scary to tell that little boy that he's free to make his own choices. Because if he chooses to go outside in a princess dress, there's a real risk he might run into judgmental, rude people.

Sure there's a lively debate happening around this particular parenting issue. But as far as intolerance goes, I don't really think there's any comparison between the two sides.

It's not like anyone is ever going to say, "Look at that little boy pretending to be a pirate! What are his parents thinking? They must be trying to turn him into a swashbuckler! OMG, he's going to be viciously teased in school. It's child abuse!"

You have to actually be victimized before you can call yourself a victim.

 

[NikitaZee]

I agree with this. I think it's my job to teach my kids what is socially acceptable. I hope I also give them the confidence to be themselves. If, when they are older, they choose to do something outside the "norm," I would support their choices.

This is how I feel as well. My 4 year old wears his big sister's princess dress around the house from time to time - no biggie! But out and about, no.

 

[Robinrs]

Because children are going to get made fun of, period. At one time in their life or another someone is going to make fun of them and hurt their feelings. I think it's a good thing for it to happen when a parent is around so the parent can model how the child should react (and to help soothe the hurt).

In order to protect a child from being a victim, his self esteem and confidence has to built up from the very beginning. No child learns how to protect themselves when Mom jumps to the rescue, the true trial is how they handle themselves with NO parent around. This comes from how they feel about themselves which is primarily from how they're treated by thier primarily adult caregivers.

All children have a protagonist sometime in life -- they don't need help by putting them in this situation unnecessarily. Some children are born with reasons for people to stare or ridicule them, no one needs to add a reason for stupid people to say stupid things.

 

[Liberty Belle]

In pink AND a skirt.

 

[Liberty Belle]

In order to protect a child from being a victim, his self esteem and confidence has to built up from the very beginning. No child learns how to protect themselves when Mom jumps to the rescue, the true trial is how they handle themselves with NO parent around. This comes from how they feel about themselves which is primarily from how they're treated by thier primarily adult caregivers.

All children have a protagonist sometime in life -- they don't need help by putting them in this situation unnecessarily. Some children are born with reasons for people to stare or ridicule them, no one needs to add a reason for stupid people to say stupid things.

I think it's always helpful if they have someone model the behavior for them first. They do need to stand up for themselves, but when armed with what to say, they usually do better.

And I'm not saying put your boy in a dress so you can accomplish this, but if my son really wanted to wear a dress, I would let him and help him to deal with any negative reactions.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Nope.

 

[Keli]

Definitely I would not allow my son to wear a princess costume at disney.

 

[Magpie]

In order to protect a child from being a victim, his self esteem and confidence has to built up from the very beginning. No child learns how to protect themselves when Mom jumps to the rescue, the true trial is how they handle themselves with NO parent around. This comes from how they feel about themselves which is primarily from how they're treated by thier primarily adult caregivers.

All children have a protagonist sometime in life -- they don't need help by putting them in this situation unnecessarily. Some children are born with reasons for people to stare or ridicule them, no one needs to add a reason for stupid people to say stupid things.

See, I come at this from a different perspective. I was teased and bullied mercilessly throughout my school career. Then my daughter came along and she was one of those children "born with reasons for people to stare or ridicule them". She had a large, complicated haemangioma, dragging her upper lip down over her mouth.

After much research and discussion with doctors, we opted for a "wait and see" approach, rather than radical surgery to "normalize" her. Back home, we got a LOT of flack from people who thought that we were setting her up for bullying. They couldn't understand why we wouldn't do everything in our power to make her look normal.

But I'm sorry - that doesn't fly with me. I suffered that abuse, and I was a perfectly ordinary looking little girl. I figured any daughter of mine would naturally have to deal with stupid people, just like I did, and what her face looked like wouldn't make one bit of difference.

I loved my beautiful baby. I kissed her birthmark, along with every other part of her. I taught her to say, "This is my nose, these are my toes, this is my birthmark..." When she was old enough and people said, "Ew, what's wrong with your face?" I taught her to say, "That's a strawberry birthmark, I was born with it!" Then whenever people asked ME, I'd turn to her and say, "Honey, you want to answer this?"

Eventually she did choose to have one surgery and some laser treatments, which made her beautiful smile more visible. But ultimately she's chosen not to have any further work done. She says, "It's part of me. I'm happy with who I am."

And so am I!

So yeah... I warned my little boy of the potential consequences of wearing a princess dress. But I also made it clear that it was HIS choice, and I'd have supported him a hundred percent. Because no matter what you do in life, stupid people WILL say stupid things. And I'm not going to let stupid people dictate my choices, or my children's choices.

We're stronger than that!

 

[AxlRose330]

I probably wouldn't mind. I might be hesitant at first and try to suggest other things/talk him out of it but if its what he wants then that would be ok. I wouldn't force him to not wear it. As long as he is aware that everybody might not be as cool with it as he would like. But as a pp said at age 3 it can be kind of hard to tell a child's gender at a glance. His voice is still higher pitched, and he still has a baby face. Unless he walks around telling people he's a boy or has a buzzcut it wouldn't be too obvious.

And a pp mentioned middle school boys watching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I like that show and I'm a 23 year old man. There is actually a large number of older males who watch that show. We call ourselves "Bronies"(Bro+Pony=Brony)

 

[topolino]

In pink AND a skirt.

Yes, but he's a grown man and a successful actor whose self-esteem is probably through the roof. He's well equipped psychologically to make a decision to dress that way. A little boy isn't.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Yes, but he's a grown man and a successful actor whose self-esteem is probably through the roof. He's well equipped psychologically to make a decision to dress that way. A little boy isn't.

This was a response to "males don't wear pink or dresses."

 

[Magpie]

I probably wouldn't mind. I might be hesitant but if its what he wants then that would be ok. As long as he is aware that everybody might not be as cool with it as he would like. But as a pp said at age 3 it can be kind of hard to tell a child's gender at a glance. His voice is still higher pitched, and he still has a baby face. Unless he walks around telling people he's a boy or has a buzzcut it wouldn't be too obvious.

And a pp mentioned middle school boys watching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I like that show and I'm a 23 year old man. There is actually a large number of older males who watch that show. We call ourselves "Bronies"(Bro+Pony=Brony)

That was me! I think it's hilarious how nonchalant all the boys are about it. Apparently if it's on REddit, and then Colbert gives a shout out to his "Bronies", and Seth Green admits to having a pony collection, it's all cool. I'm thinking I'm going to have to check out the show myself, to see what all the fuss is about...

Oh... and even if that little boy has a buzz cut, people are still likely to assume he's just a little girl getting over an unfortunate bout of lice.

 

[Goofyluver]

The difference is that it's easy to tell a little boy that he can't have a princess dress. There's no risk! If he goes outside in his jeans, no one's going to say a word against him or his parents. However, it's scary to tell that little boy that he's free to make his own choices. Because if he chooses to go outside in a princess dress, there's a real risk he might run into judgmental, rude people.

Sure there's a lively debate happening around this particular parenting issue. But as far as intolerance goes, I don't really think there's any comparison between the two sides.

It's not like anyone is ever going to say, "Look at that little boy pretending to be a pirate! What are his parents thinking? They must be trying to turn him into a swashbuckler! OMG, he's going to be viciously teased in school. It's child abuse!"

You have to actually be victimized before you can call yourself a victim.

The difference lies between the folks who are unwilling to veer from societal norms and those that choose not to allow their lives to be dictated by them.

If we're speaking specifically in terms of ridicule for going against those norms (and we very much are on this thread), I'm unclear where the rigidity exists in the individuals who are saying that stepping outside of the norm is acceptable and that they would allow their children to do so.

Apparently, according to some folks, open-mindedness is really closed-mindedness. Who knew?

In pink AND a skirt.

Someone should tell him that he looks like a girl.

 

[golfgal]

Nope--not only is it not socially appropriate in our society--his siblings would NEVER let him live it down

 

[AxlRose330]

That was me! I think it's hilarious how nonchalant all the boys are about it. Apparently if it's on REddit, and then Colbert gives a shout out to his "Bronies", and Seth Green admits to having a pony collection, it's all cool. I'm thinking I'm going to have to check out the show myself, to see what all the fuss is about...

Oh... and even if that little boy has a buzz cut, people are still likely to assume he's just a little girl getting over an unfortunate bout of lice.

Its a pretty cool show. The woman who has a large part in it's creation, Lauren Faust, made Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, Powerpuff Girls, and a couple other shows I can't think of. Its also the subject of a lot of internet memes. There's a section on memebase called "My Little Brony" that has a bunch of them.(I would put the webs address here but I think its frowned upon)

Sorry I realize this was off topic.

 

[amg35]

Just because in the scope of your personal experience, you have not come across this, does not mean it doesn't exist. I have a friend of a fried who has a boy that from the time he could walk and talk has had a desire to dress and act in a feminine manor. I see them from time to time at various events/parties. The mother was taken aback by the behavior at first, but accepts and loves her boy for who he is. She doesn't restrict him from expressing himself because she understands that it is healthy for a child to express him or her self in a way that the child is comfortable with.

If your child is gay, it probably will have an affect on him. You will have been sending him a message that you do not accept him for who he is. He will likely not feel comfortable speaking openly with you and may harbor anger towards you.

I wouldn't assume that because a 3 year old boy wants to wear a dress, he is gay. I know a few gay men, none of them prefer to wear dresses.

Also, yeah, if my son asked to be a princess for halloween, I'd think it was a little weird. But I'm weird too, so I guess it would be expected.

Now I'd let him, (and take a zillion pictures to show future significant others later on ), but we don't have to be afraid to admit that it certainly goes against the norm!

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

The child is THREE and people are seriously worried about what that baby might wear to dinner in a place where all the adults who work, and serve customers are dressed in costume.

SERIOUSLY????

Don't ever look under Mickey's "skirt" ok? You'll croak if you find a woman there...

Let the kid wear what he wants. If anyone is ignorant and rude enough to comment unfavorably, run interference.

Bet you will have a GREAT time!

 

[Wall-E1]

I wouldn't assume that because a 3 year old boy wants to wear a dress, he is gay. I know a few gay men, none of them prefer to wear dresses.

Also, yeah, if my son asked to be a princess for halloween, I'd think it was a little weird. But I'm weird too, so I guess it would be expected.

Now I'd let him, (and take a zillion pictures to show future significant others later on ), but we don't have to be afraid to admit that it certainly goes against the norm!

I wasn't saying that every 3 year old that puts on a dress is gay. I was just telling about a friend's child who is gay and likes to wear women's clothing.

I'm not gay, yet in the past month, I have had a beauty makeover done on me by a group of girls(perfectly good explanation), and have modeled the new summer line of Victoria Secret lingerie for a close friend(another perfectly good explanation - nothing freaky).

 

[Liberty Belle]

The difference lies between the folks who are unwilling to veer from societal norms and those that choose not to allow their lives to be dictated by them.

If we're speaking specifically in terms of ridicule for going against those norms (and we very much are on this thread), I'm unclear where the rigidity exists in the individuals who are saying that stepping outside of the norm is acceptable and that they would allow their children to do so.

Apparently, according to some folks, open-mindedness is really closed-mindedness. Who knew?



Someone should tell him that he looks like a girl.

I'll let you be the one.