Would you let your child wait for you outside of ride???

[Granny square]

I always ask my wife "are you 100% sure, Or 90% sure" ....that nothing will happen.

Most things in this life require "pretty sure" everything will be fine...But when its something that you absolutely can not lose.....

Best not ride in a car, take a bath, leave your house, send your kid to school or have them exposed to relatives, not leave them with their other parent... All of those things have a far greater risk than 10 minutes on a disney park bench.

 

[oneplustwo11]

I love the point about it not being fair to make a child wait while you go on a ride. IMHO this demonstrates that the child is less important than the ride.

Exactly!!!

 

[mom2rtk]

pssssst............

It's not about the ride.

 

[luvmy2babies]

I love the point about it not being fair to make a child wait while you go on a ride. IMHO this demonstrates that the child is less important than the ride.

Exactly!!!

Or if you have more than one child it demonstrates to the child that doesn't want to ride, your brother/sister is just as important to me as you are. And to the child that does, you are just as important to me as your brother/sister.

 

[Granny square]

Or if you have more than one child it demonstrates to the child that doesn't want to ride, your brother/sister is just as important to me as you are. And to the child that does, you are just as important to me as your brother/sister.

True. It says that everyone is different and everyone has likes and dislikes. Those are what make us individuals. Something to be celebrated and enjoyed.

 

[dansamy]

I thought this would be closed by now.

 

[WantToGoNow]

This post is beyond ridiculous. If you want to coddle your children until high school or college that is your choice. An average 10 year old should have the maturity to wait 10-15 minutes without mommy holding their hand.

My ds12 walked through the drive in lot alone last night about 1 am to go to the bathroom. I'm sure that was much more dangerous than anything he will encounter at WDW.

 

[kymom99]

I didn't read all the replies, but I think hubby needs to step up to the plate and come to the park when you want to ride HM. Also, I think this decision should be based on what the two of you as parents feel is best, not the opinion of strangers.

 

[RedHeadedFairy]

Well that's great. Sadly for medical reasons, I wasn't able to HAVE A LARGER FAMILY.

What I'd like to say is not very nice, so I'll be going home to my wonderful family now. Good luck doing things separately with your family. Hope that works out for ya.

Since I was the one that originally challenged the idea of an entire family staying together as you stated in your post & your initial "Too bad..." response was directed at me, I'd like to clarify my own position, but I'm not seeking to revive an argument.

We also have only 1 child after nearly a decade of medical/fertility issues.

We give our child room to grow & breathe & gain her independence in an age-appropriate way, based on her own maturity & comfort level.

So yes, I HAVE & I WILL allow MY child to wait for a reasonable amount of time, in an environment that she feels comfortable & safe in, knowing that she has the tools to stay where she is told, identify & speak to CM's & use the phone we've given her to contact us if for any reason it becomes necessary. She also knows how to read the park maps & entertainment guides & has been educated on stranger danger, etc.

It works for US.

 

[Kimberlyann11]

Last time we went to WDW, we got in around five. We went to our ADR at Boatwrights and then my 70 year old mom wanted to go to the room and rest. DD and I wanted to go to Epcot for EMH. My mom was so worried about 40 something me and teen DD at Epcot all by ourselves that she was a nervous wreck until we got back. . We left her outside to wait for us when we went on space mountain (and also T o T). She survived.

I must admit to forcing DD to go on IASM. She rolls her eyes and complains and I tell her it's payback for 23 hours of hard labor with no meds at all. She smiles all through the ride then tells me that she had the worst time ever. It's kind of our inside joke and tradition. I envision her doing the same thing with her teen daughter someday.

And I also have to say that if any parent tried to background check me and I knew about it, I'd be livid. I don't think my kid would be allowed to hang around with that family.

 

[Minnesota!]

FWIW, I was "one and done" by choice and we still split up sometimes.

We "only" have 2 kids - and split up very frequently. YDS and I really enjoy people watching. So we snag a bench and a snack and just chill in the FL sun. ODS and DH love the rides...so off they go.

No it's not necessary to choose, if the child doesn't want to ride there is no decision to make. Nobody goes!

well, that sounds.....fun

 

[Nancyg56]

In 2004 at DHS my wife waited as I rode ToT with another couple on our trip. A little girl, about 6, sat next to my wife and struck up a conversation. "My dad said you looked like a nice lady and I should sit with you while re rides ToT" She was at the park with her dad and her mom was back at the hotel with her brother. Hey, her dad was right, my wife is a nice lady!

YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Getting hurt and being abducted are two totally different acts. And like I said before just 1 stranger abduction is enough for me.

I can see that you are very nervous about your child, but abductions are not the random acts that you believe that they are. You would do better to worry about your close family and friends. Now I am not going to ridicule you the way that you ridiculed those people who do not share you way of life, but I can tell you that you cannot protect your child from everything. The sooner you teach your child to be safe rather that to be safeguarded, the better

Yes I am aware of the surroundings before my child goes to someones house. Pool, lake, guns, trampolines, drugs? I even do a criminal background check.

No one is completely aware. We have a guy who lives 1/2 mile from us. He was a police officer in town for over 25 years, retired from our town, and then went on to the neighboring town as a Captain of the police force. He worked on teh child porn division and was actively involved with school psychologists in towns. You guessed it. Model citizen we all knew turned out to own one of the largest collections of kiddie porn in CT. Your background check would have turned up squeekiy clean!

Who the heck are any of YOU to try and convince someone else what they should or shouldn't do in parenting their own child? Seriously?

There are personal reasons why I would not have left my child alone at 10. Reasons that are frankly NONE of your business. My family has been through things that you would NEVER be able to wrap your head around. If you have no fears about leaving your child alone...

MY MY HOW LUCKY YOU ARE.

NEVER judge others whose shoes you have NEVER walked in. This thread is disappointing and I'm shocked by many so-called Disney lovers. Just wow.

Holy Overreaction Batman! I am sorry that your situation is not spectacular, but you are the one who was so vocal about others whose choices were not as "protective" as your own.

And no bomb has ever been set off at an athletic event in the US . Boston Marathon! One of the dead, a little boy.
A young girl abducted and found after 18 years..... Three young girls abducted 10 years ago recently found.
and on and on............... It doesn't happen a D. I pray that it is always the case and it is the happiest place.

I think that the world is not safe, nor has it ever been. If we live afraid that something is going to happen, well we would never leave the house.

This works for my family. I don't understand how any family could go on vacation and NOT do everything together.

And for the life of me, I cannot imagine your vacation working for us.

Well that's great. Sadly for medical reasons, I wasn't able to HAVE A LARGER FAMILY.

What I'd like to say is not very nice, so I'll be going home to my wonderful family now. Good luck doing things separately with your family. Hope that works out for ya.

My family has been doing things seperately since my kids were little. If we only did things everyone enjoyed, we would have done nothing. My children are all adults now, and they are not any more scarred than anyone else.

No it's not necessary to choose, if the child doesn't want to ride there is no decision to make. Nobody goes!

Well that would have been a bust for us. My oldest son hated roller coaster rides. Actually, he hated amusement parks. He was not too fond of city trips, either. Hated zoos. Hated the beach. Liked the Space Center adn anything that included an arcade. We would have done nothing if we followed your rule. We took Donny to the parks with us, he was content to do anything other that ride the rides. The alternative was that we all stayed home and watched TV or we forced him on Riverside Parks Thunder Mountain and Wild Cat. So there are decisions to make and they are not all cut and dried. When you have to consider more than one child, you have a lot to think about.

Note to self - Don't ever go to Connecticut.

Oh, come on.....CT is not so bad!

OP- You know your kid. Do what is common sense to you. I would not leave my 11 YO DGD, but that is not because she is not okay or responsible or somewhere between raising my own kids and Kady's birth, DH and I became neurotic. We were not crazy frantic with our own, but we are nuts with Kady. Thank goodness my DD and DSIL are not because we would wrap her in a bubble. My DD keeps reminding us that we were not like this when they were kids for instance, Donny waited on a bench while we rode roller coasters. He was fine, read his book and was where he was supposed to be when we got off of the ride. I keep telling her that as GP's we can be overprotective.

 

[Liltx]

Still not sure what we would do with our 10 yo but I do think it's smart to educate your child and for parents to weigh the risks. I sat behind 5 cars dropping off kids at dance today. Two of the cars waited to watch their 12-14 year olds walk into the building. Now if you can't let her walk 20 ft from the car to the door without keeping an eye on her then you have a problem. The risk in that situation is about zero. Helicopter parenting I say. What in the world will they do when those kids get to college?

 

[tnd]

My son is nearly 8 and I would let him wait for us. But he is extremely responsible and I know he would not move. He also has very good sense about what to do if he gets lost and he would be fine. It's totally kid-dependent though He just happens to be very responsible and is a total rule-follower. If he weren't, I would not have him wait for us.

 

[littlejen22]

You will get a lot of opinions about this, many of which will be from people who wouldn't let their 18-year-old wait alone for them, much less their 10-year-old.

My response is that you know your child. Will your child wander off and/or get anxious by himself? Or will he stay planted on the bench and enjoy his momentary independence? As for me...mine would stay planted on the bench and I would definitely leave them for the length of a ride by age 10. But part of that might be because of my world view - i.e. I vehemently disagree that we have to be any more careful with our children in this day and age than people have had to be in every other day and age.

I don't disagree with this but I could not imagine going to WDW with my 10yo and just leaving them so that I could go on a ride, if we could not agree then I would skip it.

 

[WillAustin]

I don't disagree with this but I could not imagine going to WDW with my 10yo and just leaving them so that I could go on a ride, if we could not agree then I would skip it.

Our kids are 10,8, and 8. When we have only one adult and 3 kids, there is a lot of negotiation about which rides we all do. One is afraid of anything fast, one is afraid of Haunted Mansion, one's favorite ride is Test Track, etc. One of them will suck it up so another can ride what they want to and it usually evens out, but sometimes we skip.

I have let our 10 year old son make a run to get fastpasses for the family before, but he is responsible and knowledgeable enough to do it.

 

[kris4360]

We "only" have 2 kids - and split up very frequently. YDS and I really enjoy people watching. So we snag a bench and a snack and just chill in the FL sun. ODS and DH love the rides...so off they go.

well, that sounds.....fun

Why wouldnt it still be fun? Do you go on every single ride and watch every show? And do you still have fun? My kids have never complained about not having fun! I suppose when they come into contact with whiny, childish adults who tell them it's not right, you should complain and be demanding and get everything you want. Because thats how the real world is huh?

 

[lizzi6692]

Why wouldnt it still be fun? Do you go on every single ride and watch every show? And do you still have fun? My kids have never complained about not having fun! I suppose when they come into contact with whiny, childish adults who tell them it's not right, you should complain and be demanding and get everything you want. Because thats how the real world is huh?

It wouldn't be fun because people are unique and have different interests not everyone wants to do the same thing all the time. I would have been really resentful of my sibling if I couldn't ride my favorite rides just because she couldn't or wouldn't ride them. You can have a family vacation without spending every waking moment together.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Yes, I would and I have.

I think DD was 8 the first times she hung out waiting for us to ride HM.

She was 12 the year we went to DLP and she (with a cell phone in her possession) entertained herself for 2 hours while the rest of us waited for Crush's Coaster. We set a meeting point for after 2 hours (and reminded her that wait times can be longer than the sign says so not to worry if we were not there on time), gave her some cash, and trusted her to use her good sens and have fun--she did.

I would- there is a little porch with either a bench or rocking chairs right by the entrance to the line (across from Columbia HH) he could easily sit there, get him a snack and drink or something and have him wait until he sees you. Of course go when the wait is very low, and go through the faster side of the line not the extended interactive side.

That was exactly where DD used to wait for us (there was a rocking chair BTW)

Depends on your kid in a big way..

but it sounds like this particular kid has some issues with anxiety. Granted, it sounds like its the imaginary scenarios in movies and rides are what make him uneasy, but his natural thermostat seems set to "anxious." And kids who are anxious have great imaginations.

So imagine...you're a naturally anxious kid...you've been told where your parents will be and when they'll be back...you acknowledge you understand...they say to text and that they'll text you...and then they walk away.

There are lots of people around. You know about stranger danger, so your imagination starts whirring. You check the clock. It feels like they have been gone forever, but its been 5 minutes. You start to wonder if they'll be back soon. The panic builds up. You text them, no response. Are they on the ride? Somewhere they dont have reception? maybe something happened! You wonder what will happen when they don't come back. If! You meant if!! they don't come back! Your heart races, your palms sweat, you stay planted right where you are and burst into tears when you see them.

Dramatic? yes, but so is the brain of a creative 10 year old. And though nothing happened to this particular kid on the outside, something still happened. He doesn't have the skills to talk himself out of this tree. Why put him in the position to have that anxiety build up?

It depends on the kid. My DD was always anxious about movies and rides that were "creepy" or had scary music--but she had NO ISSUES being on her own. None. Never made her nervous. She was great at handling situations that could arise, traveled on her own, etc.

 

[Colleen27]

Absolutely I would. In fact, I like the shooting arcade idea mentioned upthread - instead of having him sit on a bench with nothing to do but think (maybe about "what ifs" if he's a generally anxious child) leave him in a place with something fun to do and instructions not to leave for any reason. Not only will the time pass more quickly for him, it also won't be as obvious to a casual observer that he's alone.

I would NOT, on the other hand, recommend the chicken exit. It is after the stretching room, and if he is scared of the ride I can't imagine that it would put him in a good frame of mind to wait alone for the first time!

I don't get the comments that dismiss the idea as though it is crazy. At 10 my kids were walking to school and friends houses, biking to the ice cream shop, and playing pick-up ball at the park. Only on the DIS could something as simple as sitting on a bench waiting for the rest of the family generate 30 pages of mostly "OMG no way!" responses with that "how horrible that you'd even consider it" tone. Yes, there are bad people in the world. The good far outnumber them. Yes, bad things happen. Most of the time, however, life is business as usual. The whole trend of trying to protect against even one-in-millions dangers is doing far more harm than good; for every kid "saved" from a kidnapper or predator there are hundreds if not thousands "saved" from age-appropriate independence.