Would you "let" your child go to college 700+ miles from home- and UA

[bethy]

My DD is considering the University of Alabama for college based on a very generous scholarship she could get there. It is a 12 hour ride by car from our home. Yes, I know she'll be 18 and it should be her choice but it is hard for me to even think of her being that far away. Does you student attend college far from home? How do you make it work? Do you ever worry that if there is some kind of emergency for your child they'd be hard to get to? The scholarship almost makes the school too hard to pass up, but I still worry.

I haven't read through the whole thread and don't have time but my answer is YES! No question about it!

 

[Micca]

As poster #222 you probably already got this, but here goes: You're going to worry about your DD at college no matter what. She could be 20 minutes across town, and you'd still be concerned. Anyone who has the goods to get a "generous" scholarship should definitely take advantage of it. It'll still cost the parents plenty, only in this case you'll spend it in plane tix and hotel.
Our DDs are grown now, but they were far away when they first left home to go to school. With cell phones and internet, 700 miles isn't as far away as it used to be. Congrats to your DD.

 

[golfgal]

Oh yea. I called her after I posted that. I know she has her first class at 9:40.

The flu is the worst thing. They are sick and away from home and then you don't want to go get them and then infect your house.

Just make sure you pack the "I am sick" care package with soups, teas, crackers, thermometer, etc....

My dd better get the flu shot this yr. She has had it 4 times since living in the dorms. It is certainly not good for her heart or anyone's for that matter.

I hated getting sick in college but I had a nursing major for one of my roommates, that was better than "mom" even .

 

[cabanafrau]

I hated getting sick in college but I had a nursing major for one of my roommates, that was better than "mom" even .

I can go you one better. One of DD's options is within 20 minutes of the sister of a dear friend, who is a nurse. I've said several times if that's where she winds up I can rest easy because she'll be in far better hands than mine. That really is a comforting thought when you think about a true emergency situation.

 

["Got Disney"]

DS and I have done so much research on Colleges that our heads were about to pop Even hired him an academic advisor....knowing what he wants to do and where he wants to go there is still tons of stuff to do.

Can't see leaving a 17 yo all alone to do that.....or to make such a hard choice....

There are Grades, scholarships,SATs,ACTs,Subject tests, AP tests, Volunteer hrs, Essays, financial aid, schools best for what you want to do, hrs and hrs of research, and getting everything in on time when they finally figure out their top 5-10 choices to apply... and on and on....

I can tell you my head was and is spinning so can't imagine his...for 4 years he has been working towards this....when I went to college grades were the main priority....

Know your child to get into a good school has to be super human....

Leadership skills, at least 200 volunteer hrs, GPA of at least 3.7, and if weighted at that even better, above average SAT/ACT scores, work experience, high score on SAT subject tests, and more...

Sure you can get into college with less but the midrange colleges look for these students first than go down from there.

They say sure you have a great GPA and SAT ACT scores....you have done great with volunteer hrs and took AP and Honors classes....but so have the other 20,000 who applied...so why are you so different....

That is where having a great essay comes in....

Nope....not as easy to get into a middle range college as it was when I went. Can't imagine leaving jello for brain teens to stay on top of this all by themselves....their brains are to busy restructuring.

 

[golfgal]

I can go you one better. One of DD's options is within 20 minutes of the sister of a dear friend, who is a nurse. I've said several times if that's where she winds up I can rest easy because she'll be in far better hands than mine. That really is a comforting thought when you think about a true emergency situation.

Excellent!! One thing that was really attractive to DD about the college we visited Friday, besides the new sushi bar on campus . was the hosptial on campus-not only because she is leaning toward medicine right now but with all the medical stuff she has been going through these past 6 months, it was peace of mind knowing it was "right' there if she needed.

[QUOTE="Got Disney";42432393]DS and I have done so much research on Colleges that our heads were about to pop Even hired him an academic advisor....knowing what he wants to do and where he wants to go there is still tons of stuff to do.

Can't see leaving a 17 yo all alone to do that.....or to make such a hard choice....

There are Grades, scholarships,SATs,ACTs,Subject tests, AP tests, Volunteer hrs, Essays, financial aid, schools best for what you want to do, hrs and hrs of research, and getting everything in on time when they finally figure out their top 5-10 choices to apply... and on and on....

I can tell you my head was and is spinning so can't imagine his...for 4 years he has been working towards this....when I went to college grades were the main priority....

Know your child to get into a good school has to be super human....

Leadership skills, at least 200 volunteer hrs, GPA of at least 3.7, and if weighted at that even better, above average SAT/ACT scores, work experience, high score on SAT subject tests, and more...

Sure you can get into college with less but the midrange colleges look for these students first than go down from there.

They say sure you have a great GPA and SAT ACT scores....you have done great with volunteer hrs and took AP and Honors classes....but so have the other 20,000 who applied...so why are you so different....

That is where having a great essay comes in....

Nope....not as easy to get into a middle range college as it was when I went. Can't imagine leaving jello for brain teens to stay on top of this all by themselves....their brains are to busy restructuring.[/QUOTE]

I guess I don't see it that way. If you spread the process out over time, it isn't that much of a chore. This is part of why we are doing our initial visits this summer though too. They have already narrowed down the kind of campus they want, which I think is the hardest. One click when they get new information about a new school will tell them that the campus is too big or too small, in the garbage that one goes. ACT/SAT's our school has a 6 week prep class before each test. It's 6 Saturday mornings before each test session. They have already looked at that info and know when they want to sign up--that took about 10 minutes.

One new thing we heard they need is for the one school they just visited they want an activities resume so they will have to spend a little time getting caught up on that, probably even today. They are just going to make an excel spreadsheet of what they did and the hours they put into it. That might take 30 minutes.

Also, the midrange colleges we have looked at, the scores/grades you are posting are AVERAGES, not the bottom of what they accept. They still have plenty of kids that have 3.0's too. Now, if you are talking Harvard, I think you are more on track with their grade/test score expectations. Some of the schools have asked for essays, some have not. Also, most midrange schools do not have 20,000 kids applying and have pretty high acceptance rates.

I've just pretty much driven the car to visits and answered questions when they come up.

 

[lillygator]

would I "let" my girls go to UA??

HECK NO!! Just kidding, actually, I almost went there myself!

We have a few years, but they already seem to be packing for UF!!

 

[Feralpeg]

My DD is leaving in a little over a week to attend the University of Leeds in England. Of course, she's already gone away to college for her undergraduate degree, but that was only four hours away. Am I crazy about the idea of her being an ocean away? No, but I want her to follow her dreams.

 

[PatsMom]

My DD is leaving in a little over a week to attend the University of Leeds in England. Of course, she's already gone away to college for her undergraduate degree, but that was only four hours away. Am I crazy about the idea of her being an ocean away? No, but I want her to follow her dreams.

I can relate to that. My daughter is a junior this year and as a French and International Affairs dual major she will be spending spring semester in France. I know Dijon is a wonderful city and she and I have visited France together, but I still have the niggling little fear that she will get sick or something will happen. But that is my problem, not hers. She has to follow her dreams. My mother let me go when it was time and I have to let her go too.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My DD is leaving in a little over a week to attend the University of Leeds in England. Of course, she's already gone away to college for her undergraduate degree, but that was only four hours away. Am I crazy about the idea of her being an ocean away? No, but I want her to follow her dreams.

I was wondering if she left yet. Are you going over with her to check it out? Have you or her seen the place yet?

How exciting! I wish you both well.

 

[SideshowBob]

My DD is leaving in a little over a week to attend the University of Leeds in England. Of course, she's already gone away to college for her undergraduate degree, but that was only four hours away. Am I crazy about the idea of her being an ocean away? No, but I want her to follow her dreams.

That is very cool! I hope that she has a wonderful time.

 

["Got Disney"]

Excellent!! One thing that was really attractive to DD about the college we visited Friday, besides the new sushi bar on campus . was the hosptial on campus-not only because she is leaning toward medicine right now but with all the medical stuff she has been going through these past 6 months, it was peace of mind knowing it was "right' there if she needed.



I guess I don't see it that way. If you spread the process out over time, it isn't that much of a chore. This is part of why we are doing our initial visits this summer though too. They have already narrowed down the kind of campus they want, which I think is the hardest. One click when they get new information about a new school will tell them that the campus is too big or too small, in the garbage that one goes. ACT/SAT's our school has a 6 week class before each test. It's 6 Saturday
mornings before each test session. They have already looked at that info and know when they want to sign up--that took about 10 minutes.
One new thing we heard they need is for the one school they just visited they want an activities resume so they will have to spend a little time getting caught up on that, probably even today. They are just going to make an excel spreadsheet of what they did and the hours they put into it. That might take 30 minutes.

Also, the midrange colleges we have looked at, the scores/grades you are posting are AVERAGES, not the bottom of what they accept. They still have plenty of kids that have 3.0's too. Now, if you are talking Harvard, I think you are more on track with their grade/test score expectations. Some of the schools have asked for essays, some have not. Also, most midrange schools
do not have 20,000 kids applying and have pretty high acceptance rates.

I've just pretty much driven the car to visits and answered questions when they come up.

My son has taken the SAT study class....the last 3 years have been working on that and grades....we are down to the last 2 months and waiting for all his school choices to post on their web sites what there essay topics will be so he can start on them...he has one but the others are not posted yet....2 more ACTs and 1more SAT to take and all apps need to be in by end of NOV.

He has already done his school tours last year but will tour again the one he chooses after his acceptance.

He still has to keep his full schedule this year....AP Calculous, AP Eng, AP GOV/ POL, Computer programing, AP physics and so much more....he has a full load. The Universities watch there senior year and if you took a full load and passed with good grades....just because you are excepted does not mean they can start to goof off because they will look at senior year transcripts and they can drop you if they see you did not finish strong... They don't think kindly to students that have met their full credits to graduate so take only a couple classes....


You are correct that many medium schools will take in 3.0 GPA and a 3.7 is an average....they will accept 50% higher and 50% lower.....but at a 3.0 they have high SAT or ACT tests and great Essays.....they will first start at the top of those who take AP and honors classes...than who took the AP tests, Essays are a big big part, and down the point system they go. after accepting those with the highest scores they go to those that carry an unweighted GPA of 3.0 which is like a 2.0 weighted.....and I am not talking about Harvard....you need a weighed 4.5 and an almost perfect ACT or SAT to get in there....they won't even look at you with a 3.5......

My son keeps taking the SAT and ACT,till he reaches his goal in scoring.....

There are many things that they look at....and

 

[Hannathy]

[QUOTE="Got Disney";42435324]

My son keeps taking the SAT and ACT,till he reaches his goal in scoring.....

[/QUOTE]

Aren't you worried that if it has taken him this many retakes for the SAT and the ACT plus a course, and professional help to write the essay he won't be able to keep up with the kids who wrote their own essay and maybe only took the test once or twice?

I would be

 

[golfgal]

[QUOTE="Got Disney";42435324]My son has taken the SAT study class....the last 3 years have been working on that and grades....we are down to the last 2 months and waiting for all his school choices to post on their web sites what there essay topics will be so he can start on them...he has one but the others are not posted yet....2 more ACTs and 1more SAT to take and all apps need to be in by end of NOV.

He has already done his school tours last year but will tour again the one he chooses after his acceptance.

He still has to keep his full schedule this year....AP Calculous, AP Eng, AP GOV/ POL, Computer programing, AP physics and so much more....he has a full load. The Universities watch there senior year and if you took a full load and passed with good grades....just because you are excepted does not mean they can start to goof off because they will look at senior year transcripts and they can drop you if they see you did not finish strong... They don't think kindly to students that have met their full credits to graduate so take only a couple classes....


You are correct that many medium schools will take in 3.0 GPA and a 3.7 is an average....they will accept 50% higher and 50% lower.....but at a 3.0 they have high SAT or ACT tests and great Essays.....they will first start at the top of those who take AP and honors classes...than who took the AP tests, Essays are a big big part, and down the point system they go. after accepting those with the highest scores they go to those that carry an unweighted GPA of 3.0 which is like a 2.0 weighted.....and I am not talking about Harvard....you need a weighed 4.5 and an almost perfect ACT or SAT to get in there....they won't even look at you with a 3.5......

My son keeps taking the SAT and ACT,till he reaches his goal in scoring.....

There are many things that they look at....and[/QUOTE]

Not necessarily...often they won't accept kids that are TOO far beyond their norm because they know there is no way they will come or they know that that school is just a "safety" school for them and they may accept them and realize they won't come at all so they accept someone else too.

I also think you are going way overboard with your acceptance assumptions. I would also NOT hire someone to help with essays. That is the first thing we have been told by all the admissions counselors--a "professional" essay will NOT get them into school. They want an essay written BY the kids--and they CAN tell the difference. The kids from our high school that got accepted at Harvard this year did NOT have 4.0's (on a 4.0 scale) and did not have 36's on their ACTs--they were 3.8's with 30's but they were WELL rounded kids and THAT is more important. They do not want Stepford students.

Also, colleges throw out any "weighted" grades and refigure on a 4.0 scale.

edit--maybe we should define "midrange" school too because maybe we are talking about 2 different things--what midrange schools has your son looked into? To me mid-range are schools like Creighton, Duke, Marquette...

 

[linnylu]

I just wanted to let everyone know that I put all 9 pieces of college material that came in today's mail at DD's seat for her to look at. I will never again throw it away. And just to put the record straight, another poster said that I had thrown out an acceptance. That is not true at all- DD hasn't even applied anywhere yet. I would never throw out an acceptance. I also don't open her mail and read it. I am fine if she chooses a college 700 miles from home if that is what she wants. I was really just looking for ways that other families deal with it. DD doesn't feel strong enough about any school yet, except for Notre Dame which is only 6 hours from us. DD is only 16 and I am sure I'll worry where ever she ends up. Distance will probably have nothing to do with it. I don't know how this thread got so ugly.

 

["Got Disney"]

Aren't you worried that if it has taken him this many retakes for the SAT and the ACT plus a course, and professional help to write the essay he won't be able to keep up with the kids who wrote their own essay and maybe only took the test once or twice?

I would be

No...he has a 1850 on the SAT and on the ACT a 28 with a 9 on the writing...he has a 3.9 GPA weighted....he keeps taking it because he is trying to see if he can get it higher.... As for the essays,he is working on them with the academic advisor because the universities really look closely at the essays....a bad essay can break you. There is a right way and a wrong way to do these essays....

She is not writing it for him....she is digging inside of him and pulling out of him what the questions ask of him....and about him.

The schools he wants to go to the average GPA is 3.75 weighted(4.3 unweighted )average ACT is 26 and SAT is 1800..... The better his scores and essays the better chance he has to get in.

The HS has a WED class after school just to help students write essays....to be sure they are done correct....they do the same thing the academic advisor does. The school will also help them do their applications....

He is a great writer....but having someone guide you never hurts.....his essay for his first college choice has turned out excellent....again she does not write it she asked him to think about what it is asking, how it applys to who he is and what he wants to do, what makes him special....things like that to get him thinking....than she leaves, he writes and types it out and she reviews it and helps him edit it buy asking himto dig deeper.

 

[golfgal]

[QUOTE="Got Disney";42436879]No...he has a 1850 on the SAT and on the ACT a 28 with a 9 on the writing...he has a 3.9 GPA weighted....he keeps taking it because he is trying to see if he can get it higher.... As for the essays,he is working on them with the academic advisor because the universities really look closely at the essays....a bad essay can break you. There is a right way and a wrong way to do these essays....

She is not writing it for him....she is digging inside of him and pulling out of him what the questions ask of him....and about him.

The schools he wants to go to the average GPA is 3.75 weighted(4.3 unweighted )average ACT is 26 and SAT is 1800..... The better his scores and essays the better chance he has to get in.

The HS has a WED class after school just to help students write essays....to be sure they are done correct....they do the same thing the academic advisor does. The school will also help them do their applications....

He is a great writer....but having someone guide you never hurts.....his essay for his first college choice has turned out excellent....again she does not write it she asked him to think about what it is asking, how it applys to who he is and what he wants to do, what makes him special....things like that to get him thinking....than she leaves, he writes and types it out and she reviews it and helps him edit it buy asking himto dig deeper.[/QUOTE]

I wouldn't be so sure about that...

I WOULD try to get that over 30 for scholarship opportunities though...

 

[furb & dez]

Aren't you worried that if it has taken him this many retakes for the SAT and the ACT plus a course, and professional help to write the essay he won't be able to keep up with the kids who wrote their own essay and maybe only took the test once or twice?

I would be

Seriously. These are things that they are supposed to be able to know and deal with by the time they reach 12th grade. Can't write an essay? That's 6-8th grade work. The SAT? It's just a test. A long and involved test, yes... but still just a test of material that they should already know by the time they reach this point in their education.

Then again, with many, many colleges, a gigantic chunk of the freshman (and some of the sophmore) population basically is forced to take remedial classes (099 Level?), which are basically just High School all over again (this time hopefully actually retaining some or any of it...).

Perhaps if school districts actually grew a pair and failed students instead of passing (repeatedly) them along with their peers...

Naw, parents would riot about their precious snowflakes.

 

[Green Tea]

I have and I will again with the next kids, OP. It is hard to leave them, but I don't think it would be any easier if it was an hour away vs a 3 day drive. Either way....they aren't home. My husband had to keep reminding me....it is the way it supposed to happen. We raise them, then they start out on their own.

 

["Got Disney"]

Not necessarily...often they won't accept kids that are TOO far beyond their norm because they know there is no way they will come or they know that that school is just a "safety" school for them and they may accept them and realize they won't come at all so they accept someone else too.

I also think you are going way overboard with your acceptance assumptions. I would also NOT hire someone to help with essays. That is the first thing we have been told by all the admissions counselors--a "professional" essay will NOT get them into school. They want an essay written BY the kids--and they CAN tell the difference. The kids from our high school that got accepted at Harvard this year did NOT have 4.0's (on a 4.0 scale) and did not have 36's on their ACTs--they were 3.8's with 30's but they were WELL rounded kids and THAT is more important. They do not want Stepford students.
Also, colleges throw out any "weighted" grades and refigure on a 4.0 scale.

edit--maybe we should define "midrange" school too because maybe we are talking about 2 different things--what midrange schools has your son looked into? To me mid-range are schools like Creighton, Duke, Marquette...

She is not writing his essay...stop putting words in my mouth.....many students have academic advisors....they are called ADVISORS because the AdVise the student not do there work for them...

And the schools do look first at the top tier students....they work on a point system...more points for those that take AP and Honors classes....students that have a low SAT or ACT or GPA will be looked at last than a student that applies with a High GPA and testing.....they look for students that have shown they can handle the class load.

Universities and schools advise students that if you can afford an academic ADVISOR to get one because the process is daunting. We could afford it so we did.....and so have many of my friends who kids have a GPA of over 4.0 weighted.....and higher scores than my son.

Why does it bother you so much that we hired someone to guide us through this process? I am very involved in the HS and am good friends with the HS councilors....they said if we could afford it by all means do it. Advisors know the ins and outs of the college system....when things are due, best scholarships, financial aid....what they really look for in the essays, and so on....

But again....SHE WRITES NOTHING FOR HIM....She is not even here when he writes....she gives him assignments .....and he works on them and they go over everything ...than another assignment is given....right know he is looking over thousands of scholarships to see which ones apply to him and that he can apply to now... she comes this Wed they will go over them and she will leave him to write the essays on them this week for practice....she has had him working on practice essays for 2 months.