Would you let your 4th grader go?

[Aimros]

I'm also really confused by this thread... it's a school field trip, school's go on field trips all the time... when I was in 4th grade I would have been psyched about going on an all day field trip, half the fun was riding the bus with my friends! I'm sure the school knows what they are doing - I'm not involved in education in anyway but I would assume that there are state/school district protocols involving field trips to keep the kids safe.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

OP- I asked my dh if he would let our kids go and he said no way. Too far with 9 adults that we don't even know. If we knew the adults maybe we'd feel differently. I went on field trips all the time as a kid and that is a big reason why I am not a fan of them. We had a lot of freedom and supervision was lacking. Now before anyone feels bad our schools don't do field trips and we take our kids plenty of places.

 

[NMAmy]

Holy cow, I can't believe all the angst over a field trip. Yes, I would have let my 9 yo go.

However, with so many parents who are apparently focused only on their own child, I guess I can understand the fear that the chaperones are the same way. Perhaps they were chosen because they aren't solely focused on their own child and are better suited to chaperone a group of children.

This is probably a great opportunity to show your child you have confidence in her--that you know she can attend this field trip without having anxiety and that she can handle letting another adult know if she has an issue. It's kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy--if you let your child believe that you don't think they can't handle a normal situation for a 4th grader, then they probably won't be able to handle that situation.

 

[Mimi1965]

MY DH amd I would not let our kids do the 6th grade field trip.

It was an all day trip to visit the big State PRISON.

This was a Catholic school and I think the idea was to scare them into not being bad as adults-or something.

We were very uncomfortable with the trip-and we could care less if all the other kids went-most did. My kids were not teased. they stayed home the day of the event.

 

[twinboysmom]

I would let her go. When I was in 4th grade our entire fourth grade went to a national park 6 hours away for 4 nights. We had so much fun. I know that our chaperone to child ratio was no where near 1:5, more like 1:10. There were no cell phones back in the mid 80's and we were in the middle of no where. I remember the rules being strict and everything being well controlled. But this is your child and you must do what makes you comfortable.

 

[mjkacmom]

When I was in 4th grade, one of our field trips was a trip to New York City to see the circus at Madison Square Garden. I went to school in central NJ, so this was a one hour trip by bus each way. My parents didn't hesitate to sign that permission slip for me and my two sisters, when it was time for them to go on the same trip. AND, this was NYC in the 80's...

Lol - when I was in HS (graduated mid 80's), we'd always have a yearly field trip to NYC (King Tut, Avita...), and they would let us wander at lunch time (Times Square was full of peep shows and hookers). Lots of kids went to a restaurant (Beefsteak Charlie's?) to get beer.

 

[mjkacmom]

I guess i'm in the minority but my rule of thumb is if it takes longer to drive to the destination than you'll spend time there than the trip isn't worth it. I don't know any child that would want to ride on a school bus for eight hours unless the end result was getting to Disney World. Personally I would let my child stay home that day but we would take a local educational trip.

Are you kidding? The bus ride is the best part! I tried to get dd14 to come to Hershey with the rest of the family a day before her choir trip there in 7th grade, and she thought I was nuts - it was a 3 hour bus ride with her friends! With a/c and a bathroom!

 

[MaumeeMom]

I guess i'm in the minority but my rule of thumb is if it takes longer to drive to the destination than you'll spend time there than the trip isn't worth it. I don't know any child that would want to ride on a school bus for eight hours unless the end result was getting to Disney World. Personally I would let my child stay home that day but we would take a local educational trip.

Many schools do not let the child stay home, if they miss the field trip they have to stay at the school, usually in the office or library. If you don't send the child to school it is an unexcused absence and the child will get a zero for the day on any make-up work. So the kid is punished no matter what for the parent's decision. Not fun.

 

[MandM-Mom]

My dd9 is in 4th grade and I would let her go. In second grade they went to a field trip 3 hours a way on charter bus and I wasn't picked in the lottery to go and she had a great time, was I mad I didn't get picked and couldn't experience it with her most definitly my dh actually picked on me and said I was acting like I was a 2nd grader who was told I couldn't go, MEN they just don't get it!

 

[VAfamily1998]

No way. I think it is very rude and irresponsible of the school to threaten parents about not following the bus. To me, that is a red flag.

A red flag? Seriously?

My guess it's more of an issue that it's the state capital building. With all the nutcases out there now, the school probably has to submit a list of names of who will be entering the building--the adults may even need an id check or something. For security reasons, there is probably a limit to how many people are allowed in the group, etc. Having a bunch of parents drive up, and hang around outside the capital building waiting for the field trip, trying to coax the guards to let them in too, etc.--yeah, I can see the potential for arrests.


Yes, I would let my child go. My oldest son was in 4th grade last year and they took an all day field trip to Jamestown, VA (we live about 3 hours away). They boarded a bus at school around 5 am and returned to the school around 6 pm. My son had a blast!

 

[deegack]

absolutely DD would go. I would send her with her camera, some money and tell her to have a good time. I don't understand the problem with this at all. I remember tons of field trips and I don't think my mother went on one of them with me. My niece and nephew went on a 3 night trip in 3rd grade. My sister didn't go with them. They had a blast. The only thing negative my sister said about it was that she didn't think my nephew washed his hair or changed his underwear while there. That's it.

Honestly, I use to work in a law school and would get law students coming in not able to take care of things like arrange their class schedule, or even talk to their professor about a bad grade because their mom always did that for them and now the professor/registrar won't talk to their mom. These type of things are the start of the helicopter syndrome.

 

[Hannathy]

We were very uncomfortable with the trip-and we could care less if all the other kids went-most did. My kids were not teased. they stayed home the day of the event.

And you really think you would know if they were? Yeah right.

 

[jodifla]

Uh, does the daughter want to go?? If she's eager and enthusiastic, then I would certainly send her. Don't punish her just because of your hangups.

Field trips are HUGE! I still remember mine all these years later. It would have to be pretty dire before I wouldn't sent my child on a field trip.

Our school does a 5th grade CAMPING trip for 2 nights 3 HOURS from our home. NO PARENTS go....just teachers and the principal. Everyone says it's the absolute highlight of their time at the school.

 

[mom2val]

Uh, does the daughter want to go?? If she's eager and enthusiastic, then I would certainly send her. Don't punish her just because of your hangups.

QUOTE]

Yes she wants to go BUT does not "get " that I cannot go. She keep telling me to email her teacher or the principal and fix it. I have tried to explain the whole situation but she keeps insisting that I need to write her teacher and then I can come.

 

[heatherwillmom]

OMG!!!!! If our school tried this with us, they would get laughed at with a whole caravan of parents just on general principle alone. How can they tell you you can't go visit the capital on your own and perhaps meet up with your kid?! That alone would tell them they don't get my money or my kid.

I totally agree! They are stupid if they think that they can prevent you from taking your own trip!

 

[heatherwillmom]

When my kids were smaller, pre-school through 7th grade, they went to private school. They took a great deal of field trips. They encouraged as many parents to go as possible, especially on the longer trips like the over night ones. I saw how uncomfortable some of the kids without a prent acted. They took grades 4-8 on a week long trip every year as well as some 1-2 day trips. Parents could ride the bus or take their own cars. Parents paid their own way either way. I would never have let my child go on a over-night trip without me or DH. I'm not sure if I would want my 4th grader going on a 14 hr trip without one of us. I would go on my own & stalk them if I had to. They would not tell me that I couldn't take my own trip.

 

[mjkacmom]

Uh, does the daughter want to go?? If she's eager and enthusiastic, then I would certainly send her. Don't punish her just because of your hangups.

QUOTE]

Yes she wants to go BUT does not "get " that I cannot go. She keep telling me to email her teacher or the principal and fix it. I have tried to explain the whole situation but she keeps insisting that I need to write her teacher and then I can come.

Maybe this would be a good opportunity to teach your dd that she will be okay without her parents being there. It's our job as parents to raise adults, and it's a long process. All of my kids are fine without me, and feel safe and secure with other adults (and the older kids without any adults present).

I don't think our schools would be happy to have non-chaparone parents show up at a field trip - only a certain amount are chosen, and they are under the supervision of the schools when they are on field trips.

 

[Hannathy]

When my kids were smaller, pre-school through 7th grade, they went to private school. They took a great deal of field trips. They encouraged as many parents to go as possible, especially on the longer trips like the over night ones. I saw how uncomfortable some of the kids without a prent acted. They took grades 4-8 on a week long trip every year as well as some 1-2 day trips. Parents could ride the bus or take their own cars. Parents paid their own way either way. I would never have let my child go on a over-night trip without me or DH. I'm not sure if I would want my 4th grader going on a 14 hr trip without one of us. I would go on my own & stalk them if I had to. They would not tell me that I couldn't take my own trip.

Wow you wouldn't let a 7th grader go on a field trip without a parent? Wow is all I can say I can't imagine hovering over my children to that extent.

 

[SLK1]

OP - you mentioned your daughter wanted you to write a letter/e-mail to "fix" it. This IS a great time to teach her that we don't always get what we want in life, life still goes on, and she will be fine. It's scary (and mine do it too) that our kids think we can fix their problems, make everything go according to THEIR plan. Doesn't work that way. I hope you do whatever makes you feel comfortable, but a big part is how SHE feels about it, and how SHE will feel the day after, when all the kids are talking about the trip and she isn't able to join in the conversation. And, if she is as particular as you say, you can probably be assured she will make good choices while away from you, she's conscientious, and she won't do something that isn't very smart. Let us know what you decide!

 

[MM27]

When I was in 5th grade we did a long weekend trip to Williamsburg. I live in NJ and it was so exciting to be leaving home for the weekend with my friends. We had one chaperone in each hotel room for 4 kids.

When I take my students on field trips, I can't tell you the number of times I count and count and recount kids. I wouldn't want to leave your child behind any more than you would.