Would you go?

[Rajah]

Okay, here's my (minor) dilemma...

Last week, I got an invite to an old friend's baby shower. No big deal, kinda neat, right?

Well, this girl was the little sister of my best friend in High School and College. We were friends, too, but had it not been for her sister, I wouldn't really have spent time with her. (She's 2 years younger than we are)

Fast-forward to college. My junior year, my best friend (who had been rooming with me) moves into an apartment. I stay in the dorms, and the sister comes to the same school. Because we know each other and get along, we room together. Worked out fairly well, but we still didn't become great friends. Just friends.

She ended up getting pregnant by her boyfriend and dropping out of school after that year.

That was...hmm...about 8 years ago now? We've sorta kept in touch, but mostly with nothing more than an email or phone call once every 8-12 months. Actually, I hadn't heard from her in just over a year when my dad died this January. For the first time in over a year, we got together again when she stopped by to offer condolences (3 months after the fact -- but she did stop by when she heard). We both said we should keep in touch better.

Then, I don't hear from her again for 6 months. Now, I get an invite to a baby shower, and a phone call from her (which I missed since I was in school) for the first time in 6 months.

I'm debating whether to go or not. (BTW, this is her 3rd child, and I did send small gifts for the first two. I also don't really get along with her husband.)

I've been tired, I've been sick, I'm working this weekend, and so have to fit everything I'd planned to do on the weekend into just Saturday instead.

On one hand, if I weren't so busy, I'd like to go. On the other hand, the fact that I haven't heard from her more than about 6 times in the past 5 years and we never were really close makes me debate trying to squeeze yet one more thing into my already packed Saturday.

I don't know...

Would y'all go?

 

[perdidobay]

#3 child???!!! I wouldn't go... but that's just MHO

 

[KristiKelly]

I would do the same as you did for the 1st 2 babies. This is her 3rd baby, what could she possibly need. In my family, we only give showers for the 1st. JMHO

 

[Tina]

Decline, but send a small gift.

 

[leahannpen]

Personally, I'd skip it. Plus, it's her 3rd! In a short period of time! If she was maybe having another after a long span of time, I could see, but a shower for her third? Wow.

Nope, I'd skip it. You could be generous and send a nice, cute, inexpensive outfit.

 

[Cebhfhionn]

Here's another vote for skipping it! Don't stress yourself over someone that you're not even close to!

 

[Celluloidgal]

I'd skip.

But it would be nice if you could send a small note. And IF you want, a small gift.

Sometimes people send invitations as a way of keeping in touch. She probably just wants to share the news of her pregnancy and wants to give you the option to come visit.

 

[Carl]

I'd do whatever you feel like doing. If it is too much trouble, I'd skip it.

 

[lilpritch04]

You have a laundry list of reasons you don't want to go. Don't go. It's just an invitation, it's not a command.

*regretfully* decline

 

[Beth76]

I say don't go. If you want to give a gift go ahead, but I don't think it's necessary at all.

 

[Microcell]

I am happy to see that my decision no to have a shower for my second would have been supported here! Don't go if you don't want to!

 

[jipsy]

I guess I'd have to say that the phone lines run both directions. You keep saying she didn't keep in touch, so why should you go? But it doesn't sound like you made any effort to keep the friendship going either.

 

[dena91]

Just send gifts like you did before and say you had prior commitments.

 

[dg39]

Skip it. Send a gift.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Since you're not close to her you shouldn't feel obligated to go if you can't or don't want to.

As far as I'm concerned, though, it has nothing to do with it being her third child. I had a shower given to me for my first baby and again for my 4th. Some people gave me baby gifts and some bath products, etc for me. It was a lot of fun and I really enjoyed the party! Nothing wrong with that.

T&B