Would you forgive your partner if they confessed to a one-night stand?

[SHAYMARAYSMOM]

no way
Once a cheater always a cheater.

 

[Bluestars]

Oh I have to add this....You said "confessed" to a one night stand.

That would probably be a deal breaker for me because I told my DH if he has a one night stand to keep it to himself.

So that would piss me off on top of the affair.

I would want to know. Besides never being able to trust him again, I'm sure I would need to be tested for STDs. On top of breaking vows, lying, and cheating, the spouse would also be possibly exposing an innocent person to STDs. I would not want to be wondering what is going on behind my back or if my health was being put at risk for someone else's amusement. Nope, not for me.

 

[Minnesota!]

yes. too much history. if he cheated on me long-term (not a 1 night stand) i would probably leave, though...

 

[NY Disney fan]

It depends on the circumstances, his level of remorse,

I agree with the statement above. My ex-husband had a one night stand and did not confess it to me. He hid this information from me. I discovered it (totally by accident 13 years later) during our divorce process. I had been cleaning out my bedroom and found a greeting card with a love letter written inside from the girl, telling what happened. It was dated. He then confessed. But of course it was too late.

 

[Disney Doll]

I would probably not be able to forgive and forget, even though I'd like to think I'd try, so it would probably be a deal-breaker for me.

That being said, if it was a one-night stand and there was A LOT of true remorse, a lot of counselling and him grovelling like a worm, I would like to think that I would maybe try to make the marriage work again. We're married 17 years and together 20, so that is a lot to throw away for a one-time, really stupid choice.

That being said, I know myself well enough to know that I would probably never trust him again and would eventually tire of being married to someone I could not trust.

So ultimately, the marriage probably would break up...I'd probably just drag out the misery for a while.

 

[Master Mason]

Yes I would forgive, however I could never forget, and therefor the relationship would be over.

 

[Rora]

I voted not sure but then I thought about it and realized.. no way I'd forgive him, no matter how much I loved him.

Our relationship would be over.

 

[Mom2Nick]

There are many things I could get past - but I am not sure if I could ever come to terms with that and be confident enough to actually have sex with my husband again after that....

 

[Buckalew11]

First instinct is to say no way. However, if faced with it, who knows, I may forgive and try to work it out since we have a child. More than likely though, it'd be over for me.

 

[JCJRSmith]

My first wife had a one night stand while I was at sea in the Navy. It was rough going but I forgave her. Should have seen it coming because she cheated on me with another guy about a year later. That one broke up the marriage and it was hard to get my life back on track. Even then I was trying to keep the marriage together. She wasn't having any of it though.

It all worked out in the end - after I was divorced about a year I met a great girl and this past week we celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. We have two great kids, and my oldest (from my first marriage) and I are on great terms despite my ex-wife trying to sabotage any relationship I had with my oldest. For years, my ex told our daughter some viscious lies about me and it wasn't until the ex finally drove our daughter away that DD realized what her mother had been doing all these years.

Ex-wife, on the other hand, has bounced from one relationship to another in the past 22 years. She can't commit to anything or anybody, whether it is a job, relationship, whatever. My oldest, a terrific mother to three kids, holds up her mother (my ex) as a perfect example of What Not To Do. The Ex turned out to be a miserable person, with a lousy life with many problems, all of them self-inflicted.

 

[Mom2Satan&Daisy]

I have no idea. Thankfully, I haven't been in this situation.

But I can't say never. Because until it happens...I just don't know.

 

[tasha99]

My ex cheated on me when he was stationed overseas. He said he couldn't afford to come home to see his family--and our newborn daughter--during his leave from a tour of duty in Korea. Apparently although he couldn't afford to come home to be with family, he could afford to take a female coworker to Hawaii and not visit any of our many friends who were stationed there (and would have called me up in a heartbeat to let me know what was going on). He'd forgotten that the Visa bill came to me.

I actually did forgive him (after being separated for a year), but it was never the same and we're divorced now.

 

[Mom2Satan&Daisy]

My ex cheated on me when he was stationed overseas. He said he couldn't afford to come home to see his family--and our newborn daughter--during his leave from a tour of duty in Korea. Apparently although he couldn't afford to come home to be with family, he could afford to take a female coworker to Hawaii and not visit any of our many friends who were stationed there (and would have called me up in a heartbeat to let me know what was going on). He'd forgotten that the Visa bill came to me.

I actually did forgive him (after being separated for a year), but it was never the same and we're divorced now.

busted!!! sorry you had to find out that way.

 

[quasar4legs]

Yes, I would forgive...............right after his funeral

Trish

 

[Katy Belle]

I don't think any of us can KNOW what we would do unless it really happens to us. Perhaps I could forgive. I hope I don't ever have to find out.
Katy

 

[aprilgail2]

no way
Once a cheater always a cheater.

I feel the same way!

 

[Acklander]

If it was a 1 night stand (just a sex thing) then yeah, I could probably forgive him - but honestly, I'd prefer not to know. If he fell in love with someone else, that's a whole different thing. I'd want to know so we could both move on with our lives.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

RIght now I could say no forgiveness if he cheated but I voted don't know. Because it's one thing to be hypothetical another entirely to be in the situation.

Exactly. It is so easy to say what you would do, when you have not been in that situation. I know someone who was adamant that cheating was a deal breaker. If she knew someone in that situation, it was all about throwing the bum to the curb. She was tough. Until..........she found out her husband was having an affair. She was so incredible. She refused to end the marriage, and worked so hard at getting back on track. It was amazing. She was heartsick and physically sick, but when faced with ending her 18 year marriage, she couldn't do it. She wasn't going to give her husband up to another woman, so she fought, and she fought hard. I have not been in touch with her for a few years, but last I knew they were doing great. They were almost back to a normal, happy family.

Ever since this happened, I have decided that I really don't know what i would do. I have stopped passing judgement the people who stay.

Bottom line, until you have walked in those shoes, you really don't know what you would do. JMO

 

[wendy darling]

Heck no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Once a cheater always a cheater!!!!!

 

[wendy darling]

Exactly. It is so easy to say what you would do, when you have not been in that situation. I know someone who was adamant that cheating was a deal breaker. If she knew someone in that situation, it was all about throwing the bum to the curb. She was tough. Until..........she found out her husband was having an affair. She was so incredible. She refused to end the marriage, and worked so hard at getting back on track. It was amazing. She was heartsick and physically sick, but when faced with ending her 18 year marriage, she couldn't do it. She wasn't going to give her husband up to another woman, so she fought, and she fought hard. I have not been in touch with her for a few years, but last I knew they were doing great. They were almost back to a normal, happy family.

Ever since this happened, I have decided that I really don't know what i would do. I have stopped passing judgement the people who stay.

Bottom line, until you have walked in those shoes, you really don't know what you would do. JMO

Even if I was married for 40 years, cheating is something I will never tolerate. I have too much respect for myself than that. I would rather be alone than with a cheater. Especially if I have children in the marriage. I would want to teach them right from wrong and there are consequences for your actions.