Would you forgive your partner if they confessed to a one-night stand?

[Fintastic]

I just don't understand wanting to be with somebody who has such disregard for my feelings. Unless DH was standing at a urinal and some strange woman just happened to fall on him, there's always a choice to have sex or not. I don't buy the whole "it was just an accident" excuse.

 

[*Fantasia*]

Hmmm.. that's a difficult question. I guess I would, but he will have to work really hard to earn my trust back. It is going to take a looong time to ever trust him again, if I could ever trust him again. If he does it again, then he is not the one for me.

"And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil."

If God can forgive all our sins (and He is very merciful), we can and should also forgive those who has done us wrong. (I know it is easier than done).

Pope John Paul II has forgiven the man who was trying to assasin him. The Pope went to see the man in jail and forgave him. That's a very hard thing to do.

 

[sunnyday123]

Been there, done that, got the divorce decree.


Nope. Absolutely not. Although technically it was a one night stand ( that I know about ) and a brief ho-ing around. Affair makes it sound too good.

 

[Shugardrawers]

I hope this does not come across the wrong way but to all those that say they would, you cant even imagine how it will affect you unless you are in that situation. I always said I would forgive but when it happened to me earlier this year after 18 years of marriage I realized that I could not and did not want to forgive him. So because of my husbands actions our 18 year marriage is now torn apart and I have filed for a divorce

Actually, yes, I have been there and done that. However, in the case of my 1st husband he wasn't the slightest bit remorseful so I couldn't find it within me to forgive him. He didn't feel he needed forgiveness and saw sex and marriage as 2 seperate issues. If I had known that ahead of time I'd have never married him The depths of his heartlessness would shock you but that's his current wife's problem now (I was #2, he's on #4 that I know of). One reason I married The Muffin was because he was telling the God's honest truth when he told me he was "extremely monogamous"

I just don't understand wanting to be with somebody who has such disregard for my feelings. Unless DH was standing at a urinal and some strange woman just happened to fall on him, there's always a choice to have sex or not. I don't buy the whole "it was just an accident" excuse.

I think you misunderstand. I can't speak for all women who say they would try to forgive but as for myself......Firstly, I DON'T want to be with anyone who has blatant disregard for my feelings. That would be the former Mr. Drawers and I haven't been married to him for over 17 years. HOWEVER, I recognize that The Muffin is imperfect. I can imagine circumstances in which he might lose himself to temptation. I would NEVER put up with it as a matter of course. A one time, terrible lapse in judgement, I'd do my best to work through. I only say that because I would hope if I screwed up that royally, that he'd try to show me that same mercy.

Oddly enough, he's been reading over my shoulder. His 1st marriage ended due to his wife's infidelity. She was certain she had a much better thing on the line He walked as soon as she was free Anyhoo.....The Muffin actually agrees even now. Once isn't necessarily a total deal breaker although it can be very hard to get past. That surprises me given his past experience. An affair or a repeat performance is not something he feels he could handle and I agree. No point in being married then.

 

[bethy]

I would try to forgive if he wanted forgiveness. For better or worse for us. It would hurt but we vowed to try to keep our marriage alive as long as both of us live.

And once a cheater is NOT always a cheater. People do make mistakes.(

This is my feeling also. And honestly, sex isn't the be all-end all for me personally. Our marriage is about so much MORE than that.

 

[Tricia1972]

I think a lot of good points have been made.

For me life is way too gray. I can't sit here today and say if I would or wouldn't forgive - it depends.

I've learned, the longer that I am married, that it's a lot of work and that it's way murkier sometimes than I thought it would be.

It's also every bit as wonderful being committed to my DH as I thought it would be, but some days that wonderful commitment is more work than others.

 

[JimMIA]

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

OOOOOOO a zombie thread.
6 out of 10 zombies said the one that revives the thread doesn't get to post memes about zombies everywhere.
2 out of 10 zombies said they would eat the brains of anyone that cheated on them.
1 out of 10 zombies said she would eat the brains of anyone stupid enough to take her as a mate.
One zombie asked us if we had ever cheated on anyone. We took the knife and fork in his hand and the drooling as our cue to hop in the poll mobile and take off.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

My husband confessed to some I appropriate texts (after getting caught by someone else) about a year ago. I am still not over it, I am just choosing to not fighting about it. It really broke me but I don’t know what I can do.

 

[La Stilla]

No!