Would you ever turn down an invite to a funeral?

[Spinneret]

or maybe have you?

 

[KrazeeK120]

Do people do funeral invitations? I’ve never been to a funeral that required an invitation…it’s always just “show up if you feel close to the decedent or a family member.”

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I've never been invited to a funeral..... but I've felt like I should go, I went.

 

[mylilnikita]

There is no inviting that I know of. I refused to attend the funeral of a relative years ago and got some flack but I’m not fake

 

[ronandannette]

The only "by invitation only" funerals I've ever heard of (and I spent some time in the industry) were those for celebrities, politicians or some otherwise high-profile individuals. Since I'm not in the inner-circle of anybody at all like that, I won't ever be conflicted about whether or not to decline.

 

[antmaril]

I have never been invited to a funeral.

 

[tvguy]

Well, I have run into a situation where the death and the funeral were so close together that it was impossible for us to make it. My wife's stepmother passed away in June on a Sunday night. Her step sisters wanted the funeral on Tuesday morning. They notified us right away. But they live 2,000 miles away and if we had left by car immediately upon learning of her death and drove straight through, we MIGHT have made it there a few hours before the funeral. And as you may recall, June of last year was when the airlines were a mess with flight cancellations. I could find no available seats on multiple routes to get there.
We knew from when my FIL died that her step mother and step sisters believed a funeral should be as soon as possible after death. Her dad died on a Saturday night, and we couldn't get there until Wednesday night, so the funeral couldn't be until Thursday. Her step mother took us aside after the funeral and told us she initially wished we could have been there sooner, but because they had to delay the funeral, her dad got the funeral he would have wanted. He was retired career Air Force, and if the funeral had been on Tuesday, the Air Force would have sent one person as the honor guard to give him his 21 gun salute. Because they had the extra days, they were able to assembly and transport a full 21 honor guard for that salute.

 

[luvnwdwgal]

I don’t go to funerals unless I absolutely have to.

 

[BorderTenny]

I don’t go to funerals unless I absolutely have to.

And, really, the only funeral you absolutely have to go to is your own.

 

[BlueStarryHat]

Never been invited to a funeral. I would find that weird. You just show up if you feel like you have to or want to.

 

[Titanium]

Once.

 

[tinkerbellandpeterpan]

Who gets an invite to a funeral? Who is going to invite you....the decedent? This is so ridiculous.

 

[clh2]

Oddly, a former neighbor recently passed away. His memorial gathering will be at a race track, and tickets for a day pass that weekend are $50 each. I would love to pay my respects, and while it isn’t far from where we live now, will not be attending.

 

[clh2]

oops, double post

 

[Living42Day]

Does disinvited work? lol

 

[DodgerGirl]

If there's one type of family gathering I really dislike it is funerals and memorial services because I find them awkward and all you do is sit quietly and be silent and when I have attended funerals I always have nightmares and visions and I don't get how in the world funerals are such a giant deal? But the only time I have seen invitations for funerals is during celebrity funerals and big memorial services like Queen Elizabeth II's funeral because in reality the only family gatherings that really require invitations are birthday parties and weddings and bridal/baby showers and children's christenings because funeral services are generally non- invitation unless the family is using the invitations to donate to a charity or military service to honor the loved one who died

 

[Meriweather]

Never invited.....just told date, time, place.
I did not go to MIL's funeral because DIL had just had a baby. I stayed to help. The rest of our little family went. It was in another state.
I think I have only been to 3 funerals.

 

[MamaMermaid]

I don't think anyone really gets invited to funerals but I've definitely not attended some.

 

[mjkacmom]

If there's one type of family gathering I really dislike it is funerals and memorial services because I find them awkward and all you do is sit quietly and be silent and when I have attended funerals I always have nightmares and visions and I don't get how in the world funerals are such a giant deal? But the only time I have seen invitations for funerals is during celebrity funerals and big memorial services like Queen Elizabeth II's funeral because in reality the only family gatherings that really require invitations are birthday parties and weddings and bridal/baby showers and children's christenings because funeral services are generally non- invitation unless the family is using the invitations to donate to a charity or military service to honor the loved one who died

I’m guessing you aren’t Irish? Growing up I went to a lot of funerals, my grandparents had a lot of siblings. It was so nice to have a bit of a family reunion, talk to family you haven’t seen in a while (our wakes we’re never solemn or quiet) and then top it all off with a repast at a restaurant or someone’s home. Growing up most of my friends were Italian, totally different vibe. My oldest friend and I recently attended the wake of the mother of one of our closest HS friend, first generation Italian American. We were talking and laughing at the funeral home, looked around and left (we had been there for about an hour catching up with the aunts, uncles and cousins).

 

[shh]

I am uncomfortable at funerals, but always try to attend if I had any sort of genuine friendship or relationship with the person or their family/friends. Attending a funeral is a gesture of respect, love and/or support - not just for the person who passed away, but for the loved ones they left behind. It honors the relationship that was - the person's marriage, the person's family, etc.