Would You Consider This Inappropriate?

[BeachGirlFLA]

Let me get this straight...he is engaged but living with you (I assume you are a female)? But you're not his fiancee? Did he become recently engaged, because that sounds like a very strange arrangement to me. Why doesn't he just live with fiancee?

As for the back rub comment, I don't find it inappropriate.

We moved in together in March, he met her in April (in an airport...she lives in another state), and they just became engaged in October and I think (from some things that I've overheard when he was on the phone) that he may not be entirely faithful to her.

 

[mickeylove2]

We're definitely not that close....I put an ad on Craig's List looking for a place to live, he answered it, and our main bond is the dogs. We talk about our significant others once in a while, but we've never been shopping together, told each other secrets, etc. The other thing is that his fiancee seems a little concerned/insecure about me. He has lots of female Facebook friends that she has met and hasn't added as friends. BUT when I got back from the hospital and realized that he'd been a real friend by rushing me to the hospital, staying for a while, calling to check up on me, offering to bring stuff by, and offering to pick me up (he didn't have to do that...my boyfriend did) I added him and very quickly after I added him, she was requesting to be Facebook friends too. I wouldn't see that as being insecure for everyone, but she tends to be very insecure anyway so I kind of knew her motives.

Well, that puts a different spin on it...I would say, although not inappropriate exactly, he definitely is flirting with you. It may be innocent, it may not be. Let him know that you have no intention of being anything more than roommates/friends, and see if things change. If it's making you uncomfortable, tell him, if not just laugh it off. But if you don't let him know up front, he may think you are just playing hard to get, ya know.

There was this guy that i hung out with every once in a while, definitely not friends, but just friendly towards each other. He started texting me, with flirty sayings, he would come by unexpectedly, I usually just went with it...I'm kinda flirty in a playful way with everybody anyway. I didn't think anything of it, never said anything to him about it because it didn't make me uncomfortable, well 1 night we were at a bar with a bunch of friends and he grabbed me to dance, wouldn't let me go, tried kissing me, had his hands all over me. I guess he had a different view of our "relationship" than I did. After that, I had to set him straight and you know what he said to me? "But I thought you liked me and were just playing hard to get waiting for me to make the 1st move." I learned my lesson!

 

[Disney Doll]

A guy that got engaged within 6 months and is probably "not entirely faithful" who is offering/requesting backrubs etc. is looking for a little "something" on the side.

And yeah, I am married, I have guy friends, I have been known to hug or kiss my guy freinds hello/goodbye etc. But my DH doesn't worry about it.

I'm seeing some red flags....keep the relationship "cool"....

 

[krcit]

Can't anyone just joke anymore?

**Sigh** I miss the days of inappropriate humor - pre-sexual-harassment-training days.

 

[NikitaZee]

Just my opinion - I consider almost all of those comments as flirting. I think you are reading the situation just right.

 

[bumbershoot]

...they just became engaged in October and I think (from some things that I've overheard when he was on the phone) that he may not be entirely faithful to her.

Ugh.


Have you written about him before here, like in the last year? If that was you (I almost never notice or remember usernames, makes my life happier), I would say that this is flirting with meaning (not just silly flirting), not just a silly comment or a joke.

I personally wouldn't feel comfortable with someone saying that, especially if he's not faithful to his brand new fiancee, and especially if you are the one who has posted about her male roommate before.

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

Yes, that was me and I've always thought of him as a big brother....no chemistry there from my side.