Would you ask your kids to help pay for a vacation?

[Vacation Lover]

I'm curious what you ended up doing, and if the kids are excited about the potential trip. Can we have an update?

 

[robemcdo]

I did a quick survey of my kids. They have little jobs and a decent sum saved in their bank accounts.

Both would gladly give up $150 of their own money if it meant they could go to disney. I think it's a no-brainer.

 

[sjaakie]

No way I would ask my son son to pay a dime and he is 19.
We pay for the flihgt, the hotel(GF) the dinners and all the other litlle things.

 

[Nancyg56]

I did a quick survey of my kids. They have little jobs and a decent sum saved in their bank accounts.

Both would gladly give up $150 of their own money if it meant they could go to disney. I think it's a no-brainer.

My DGD is 6 Yo and she is quite a saver. She would take a hammer to her bank if that meant another trip She knows the value of money and while her Mom gives her a daily amount of money to spend, she saves and saves to buy pins so that she has more to trade. She would absolutely know what she was spending.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

Absolutely not!

I could see if they were adult children, but sorry I think its pretty low asking your kids to pay for a trip. If you can't afford it, don't go!

Now if you asked them to use that money to buy a souvenir or two that they wanted but to pay for the actual expense of the trip, NO!

 

[DevilDuckie]

I would absolutely give them the option. Treat it as buying their tickets themselves, though, not as giving you the money. They have been given money, presumably to buy something they will enjoy. What are they going to buy that will be better than Disney?

That said, ask them separately and without pressure. Make sure they both really want to spend their money that way and aren't just going along to make other people happy.

 

[darlak]

I would call a family meeting and discuss this with them exactly as you described it to us. Let them decide. I don't think there's anything wrong with letting them spend their money this way, if that's their decision.

Only you and your kids can make this decision and know what's right for your family.

 

[HappyLawyer]

hmm, if they are grown yes, if they are over 10 they need to raise their own spending money

 

[labst60]

I personally think that asking your children to help contribute on a family vacation is absolutely fine. This my personal opinion - Your family has already enjoyed a vacation together provided totally by you and your DH. It is not in your family's norm to ask the children to pay for a piece of a vacation, but an opportunity has come up and is possible only if everyone is willing to contribute towards it. You are a family unit and if this trip is something everyone agrees on and would like to do, then why shouldn't the children have the opportunity to help make this trip happen. This trip is also about them, and they are old enough to decide if that is how they would like to spend some of their money or not. It is a purchase that they can decide on just like anything else. What do I want to do with my money - buy a Webkinz, a Wii system, save it, or go on another vacation.

There is nothing wrong with giving your children the opportunity to decide if this is something they would like to do or not. It is only wrong to force them.

ITA

We routinely used X-Mas money (at the age) to go to a movie with our friends or mini-golf with our siblings, etc. We would have **loved** the chance to use it to go to Disney!!!

I would just tell them that if they want to contribute $XX of their Christmas money to the trip, you can go.

As far as you "deciding" what to do with their money - it's your JOB to guide them! And I think is great to teach them to use their gift for fun-family time and memories they will always have as opposed to material objects that will be obsolete come next Christmas!

Regarding the gift givers - you don't have to "run it by them", but I'm sure that anyone who truly cares about your child only wants the $$ to go to something to make them happy - and I'm sure the trip would. The $$ was going to give the kids a gift/treat - I certainly think that the chance of a trip to WDW is better than a new sweater at the mall or the latest video game! And as long as they think so too - then using the money for the trip is the right idea.

On the chance one is excited about it and one is not - I would truly and seriously look into having the not excited one stay home with Dad (or someone else.) When they hear that, I bet they get excited real quick! Seriously, if they "chose" not to use their money and stay home, I bet they'd never remember what they spend their money on 10 years down the road - but they'd always remember the family time (even if your family is lucky enough to take frequent trips to WDW - it will still be a very special time - and I think them contributing to it would make it even **more** special for them).

If you were asking - should I use my kids Christmas money so DH and I can take a romantic "adults-only" trip, that would be a different story.

But as their mother - it's your job and duty to teach them the values you want them to have and I personally applaud you for being willing to teach them the value of the money (i.e. we can do fun things as a family, but they are not free).

 

[labst60]

The way I figure it, I have only 18 years to teach my kids financial responsibility. I do not want them going into debt, thinking of credit cards as money and I want them to have the things they want. It’s one of the reasons we start an allowance by the age of 4. We count gifted money in following the correct model. The way we figure it, the IRS taxes on gifted money, then the kids should use gifted money in much the same way. Besides, unless the giver says “this is for…” it is not their choice in how the money is spent.

Wow - your kids must be getting some pretty nice gifts because the IRS (basically) only taxes gifts greater than $11,000 and the gift tax is generally paid by the donor, not the donee.

http://www.irs.gov/businesses/small/article/0,,id=108139,00.html

 

[rt2dz]

Wow - your kids must be getting some pretty nice gifts because the IRS (basically) only taxes gifts greater than $11,000 and the gift tax is generally paid by the donor, not the donee.

http://www.irs.gov/businesses/small/article/0,,id=108139,00.html

We don't make our kids pay taxes on the money.

It's a concept. What we do is TEACH them so that they know how to save and spend with any money they receive so that as adults they understand what to do with money.

I don't want my kids living in an apartment until they are 40 because they don't have enough for a down payment on a house. I don't want my kids graduating college with $25K in credit card debt. I don't want my kids to say "Oh crap! The fridge died and I don't have enough money to buy a new one right now." I don't want my kids to say, "Well, that insurance option is just too much money, I'll only go with basic coverage" and then get hit by an uninsured driver. All problems that people have from various threads on the DIS.

I want my kids to be able to make any basic home repairs so that their home doesn't loose resale value. I want my kids to have enough money to invest in their future. I don't want my kids relying on Mom and Dad in life. I have been supporting myself since I was 18--not necessarily because I had to, but because I could and didn't see the reason to live off my parents. I paid for college myself. I bought a house, by myself, at 23. I am not in debt. We haven't made a 6 figure income before this year, but we have a high quality of life.

I only have a short time to teach my kids the basics for their life. It's easier to learn things at a younger age than when older. Ask anyone who has learned a second language while in elementary school how easy it was and compare that answer to someone who didn't start trying to learn until college. Ask anyone who has ever quit smoking or tried to change any bad habit. Same type of concepts.

I also want to give them plenty of time to practice. It's much better to screw up before the consequences are harmful. You wouldn't want a pre-med student performing your surgery, would you? No. You would want the person who has finished medical school and completed their internship--preferably their residency, too. Again, same concept.

 

[Thats_for_Shore]

I would ask them! My kids are 13 & 8....and we have a giant piggy bank in our kitchen.....It's a ceramic bank that the girls & I decorated 4 years ago & it says "Disney Money" on it......to make a long story short.....we put all of our change, extra dollars etc in there to save for a trip...well youngest dd got a $100 check from my aunt for Christmas....I just asked her yesterday where she put her Christmas money....you guessed it...she put ALL of it! the check, the cash everything she got from everyone into the pig! I asked her why & she said "because I want to go back to Disney, & I don't want anything else"

So, I would ask them!

I have a similar story. Our last WDW vacation was when DS was 5. As soon as we left, I'm talking before we even got out of the state, he was telling me how much he loved it and asking when we could go back.

I told him that it takes a lot of money to go to WDW, so we'd have to try to save as much as we could.

As soon as we got home, DS asked me where he could put some of his loose change so that he could start saving for WDW. I broke out this HUGE tupperware container, and we decorated it with stickers and labeled it "This is for DS's trip to Walt Disney World!"

Ever since then, he's put in all his Bday money, all his Christmas money, all his tooth fairy money, all the money people have given him for being so cute, loose change, whatever, into this container. At last count, he had close to $400.

Of course, we're going back in about a month from now, and I have a problem.

Since he's been saving all this time for the purpose of going to WDW, I don't want to just not use his money, since he's been working hard to save that money for a while now. I don't think it would teach him a very good lesson about money if he's saved all this time, and then it gets handed to him for free.

But I don't want to use his money, I don't want to take it.

What should I do with it? Should I cash in all that loose change and just let him use it as his own spending money? But $400 is a lot to give to a young kid, and I don't think he should be able to spend that much cash. And it's not like I can give him a hundred bucks of it, because he knows how much he has.

Any (non snarky) suggestions?

 

[rt2dz]

I have a similar story. Our last WDW vacation was when DS was 5. As soon as we left, I'm talking before we even got out of the state, he was telling me how much he loved it and asking when we could go back.

I told him that it takes a lot of money to go to WDW, so we'd have to try to save as much as we could.

As soon as we got home, DS asked me where he could put some of his loose change so that he could start saving for WDW. I broke out this HUGE tupperware container, and we decorated it with stickers and labeled it "This is for DS's trip to Walt Disney World!"

Ever since then, he's put in all his Bday money, all his Christmas money, all his tooth fairy money, all the money people have given him for being so cute, loose change, whatever, into this container. At last count, he had close to $400.

Of course, we're going back in about a month from now, and I have a problem.

Since he's been saving all this time for the purpose of going to WDW, I don't want to just not use his money, since he's been working hard to save that money for a while now. I don't think it would teach him a very good lesson about money if he's saved all this time, and then it gets handed to him for free.

But I don't want to use his money, I don't want to take it.

What should I do with it? Should I cash in all that loose change and just let him use it as his own spending money? But $400 is a lot to give to a young kid, and I don't think he should be able to spend that much cash. And it's not like I can give him a hundred bucks of it, because he knows how much he has.

Any (non snarky) suggestions?

He has chosen to put aside his money for something he wants. That is a whole different thing. Use it. I would have him use it for spending money first and foremost. Have him put it towards an autograph book, pins and lanyards and lanyard charms, extra pin backings, a book to keep pins in later really add up. I think my oldest spent $250-$300 on that alone. If that stuff isn't important to him, let him purchase a camera to help preserve those memories.

 

[kimsuenew]

Absolutely not! We would never dream of it. We had to wait until our only child was 16, and dining was free, to go. We wanted to go yearly since his birth... we would have loved to have him there at an age (toddler or elementry) where it seems even more magical but could not afford it. IMO it is the parents place to pay for a vacation, and if the funding is not there... none needs taken and if it is... by all means go! IF you, as parents, had decided to give WDW as the main Christmas Gift, that would be a different story perhaps, but you shouldn't take theri money they received as gifts to fund the family trip.

 

[kimsuenew]

I have a similar story. Our last WDW vacation was when DS was 5. As soon as we left, I'm talking before we even got out of the state, he was telling me how much he loved it and asking when we could go back.

I told him that it takes a lot of money to go to WDW, so we'd have to try to save as much as we could.

As soon as we got home, DS asked me where he could put some of his loose change so that he could start saving for WDW. I broke out this HUGE tupperware container, and we decorated it with stickers and labeled it "This is for DS's trip to Walt Disney World!"

Ever since then, he's put in all his Bday money, all his Christmas money, all his tooth fairy money, all the money people have given him for being so cute, loose change, whatever, into this container. At last count, he had close to $400.

Of course, we're going back in about a month from now, and I have a problem.

Since he's been saving all this time for the purpose of going to WDW, I don't want to just not use his money, since he's been working hard to save that money for a while now. I don't think it would teach him a very good lesson about money if he's saved all this time, and then it gets handed to him for free.

But I don't want to use his money, I don't want to take it.

What should I do with it? Should I cash in all that loose change and just let him use it as his own spending money? But $400 is a lot to give to a young kid, and I don't think he should be able to spend that much cash. And it's not like I can give him a hundred bucks of it, because he knows how much he has.

Any (non snarky) suggestions?

Deposit most of it in a bank account that you open and he does not even know he has! Keep a token amount out... let him pay (with he himself handling the money) for say a CS meal, and perhaps a chosen souvenier or two.

This is really quite pitiful... the child has put all of his gifts in a jar for a year? I cannot even imagine!

Yes, teaching a child about money is wonderful, teaching a child to save is perfect, but it is a parents place to pay for luxeries like a vacation while the child lives at home (under 18) and while a teen could, and should, earn their own spending money... a 5 or 6 year old helping to fund a vacation trip is wrong IMHO!

 

[MissyDVC]

.
This is really quite pitiful... the child has put all of his gifts in a jar for a year? I cannot even imagine!

Wow

 

[labst60]

Thats for Sure,

Kudos to your DS for having the dedication and resolve to save like that - there's kid who knows what he wants! You should be very proud!

I would do something similar to what the previous poster suggested - give him $100ish to spend as he pleases and then come up with $300 of additional expenses he can think he is paying for - maybe his park ticket, a couple special meals, souvieners for grandparents, etc - and then deposit the $300 into a savings account that you open for him (without his knowledge).

Since he is still so young, it would be really nice if you would write him a letter (to be opened when he is older and gets control of the savings account) about how excited he was to save for the trip and how much fun he had, etc.

Have a great trip!!!

 

[Nancyg56]

Of course, we're going back in about a month from now, and I have a problem.

Since he's been saving all this time for the purpose of going to WDW, I don't want to just not use his money, since he's been working hard to save that money for a while now. I don't think it would teach him a very good lesson about money if he's saved all this time, and then it gets handed to him for free.

But I don't want to use his money, I don't want to take it.

What should I do with it? Should I cash in all that loose change and just let him use it as his own spending money? But $400 is a lot to give to a young kid, and I don't think he should be able to spend that much cash. And it's not like I can give him a hundred bucks of it, because he knows how much he has.

Any (non snarky) suggestions?

When my kids were younger I had them all save for various major expenses. For instance, I sold my oldest son my car and he saved for it. I put the money away and when he purchased his first "real" vehicle I gave him the money. I wanted them to save for things like insurance and vehicles because I felt that they would value them more if they could equate each purchase with the work that went into that purchase. They never knew that I had tucked the money away for them.

 

[Patbeth]

I think my kids would rather go to Disney than have some $$ sitting around in a bank somewhere. my kids do pay for some stuff they want to do. I say ask them , and if they know that they couldnt go otherwise then Im sure they will say yes. Good luck.

 

[Ilovefozzie]

My DH and I would never even consider asking the kids to spend money on "necessary" aspects of a trip. IE: airfare, room, tickets, food. Yes, they save up their money for souvenirs, but that's it. At 12 and 7, they shouldn't even begin to consider the responsibilities of making a vacation happen. There are other ways that we teach them about the value of money.

Sorry...just my .02.