Would you ask your kids to help pay for a vacation?

"I don't understand why anyone thinks it would be wrong to ASK your children if they would like to use their money to go to Disney. It is their money, and I think that giving them the choice to use it to go on a special trip is a great idea."


As a teacher, I do not think young children are truly capable of understanding money and using it wisely- that is why we as adults need to watch out for their best interests- to protect and grow their money, not throw it away on selfish parental desires. What I want does not matter, only what is best for my kids. It is one thing to allow my kids to blow $10 on a toy, but to allow them to impulsively spend hundreds is concerning. If children are not taught to respect and portion out their money, they will grow into free spending adults.

Not to sound judgmental, but the idea of parents "borrowing" from their kids is so scary and a truly disturbing view of the condition of our society. No wonder there are so many folks with financial woes right now.

ITA

In my opinion, asking a child to help fund a vacation is the same as asking to help pay one of your household bills.
 
Would you ask your kids to help pay for a vacation?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We have a chance to go with DH to Orlando for a week for training for his job. The Army would pay for the room and DH's ticket and rental car plus provide him with a per diem for meals and incidentals.

The 3 kids and I could go but it would cost us airfare, tickets, meals, 2 extra hotel nights and possibly an additional rental car. Money is a little too tight right now for all of that so there is really not enough money in the budget for the airfare so we haven't even told the kids there is a possibility of this trip.

The older kids (DD13 and DD9) got quite a bit of cash for Christmas this year from Grandparents, their Dad and an Uncle ($550 between the 2 kids!) and as far as I know they really have no specific plans for that money - meaning they haven't been saving up for anything specific.

Right now we can get airfare on Southwest for about $150 Round Trip per person for the dates we need.

Would you tell your kids of the possible Disney trip but ask them to pay their own airfare from their Christmas money? They would still have over $100 each leftover after airfare for "spending money".

I can come up with the money for my ticket by putting a few things on ebay or Craigslist - much more likely to come up with $150 for 1 ticket instead of $450 for 3 tickets!

I am really struggling with this but also know how much my kids love WDW and would love to go on an "extra" trip.

I am on the fence with this one.

On one hand it could be a good learning experience, but then on the other hand it is based on what a parent wants to do with money that is not their's. It's an issue of priorities, too. Dis'ers who are here, I am sure love all things Disney, but the message to the children in this case might be detrimental to their financial health in the long term by placing this trip as a priority versus being prudent. If money is tight, why make a trip a priority, kwim?

I have been in this situation, believe me, but I think your statement Money is a little too tight right now says it all. Remember, Disney will always be there. :)

GL!
 
ITA

In my opinion, asking a child to help fund a vacation is the same as asking to help pay one of your household bills.

Well last summer DDs forgot and left the hose running on the slip-n-slide for almost 24 hours straight and they were informed if that happened again they WOULD be contributing to the water bill! :eek:

I would never ask the kids to contribute to a household bill. This is an entirely different situation - this is a "fun" trip not some necessity that we can't afford because we are poor financial planners. No, we don't NEED this trip but it sure would be fun to go an extra time if we can manage it. Again - we won't go unless we can go on cash - the light bill (or any other bill or savings plan in our budget) won't be neglected so we can go to WDW nor will we just "charge it" to pay off later.

I do plan to use my DD9's Webkinz obsession as an example of the cost of things. It costs the same as X Webkinz as it does to fly to WDW or buy a ticket to WDW or buy 3 Mickey bars, etc...

I have already talked to the schools and they have no problem with any family trips as long as the kids don't miss the state achievement tests. They have specific guidelines in place for completing work missed.
 
I know I've already posted, but I keep following this thread because it interests me. As the thread continues there are some things that keep popping up that I feel a need to comment on.

The first is that if one child says yes and the other doesn't jump up for it. By talking to the kids together, one may feel pressured to do something with their money they may not want to. If the OP says, "Hey, wouldn't this be great, but..." there may be (unintentional) pressure placed. If the kids are talked to separately and then left to discuss it together later, one might put the pressure on the other.

Second, we always view vacations as an extra. It is not the same thing as contributing, imo, to keeping a household. Being required to pick up around the house and going to WDW just aren't on the same page. It is not about learning responsibility. Contributing to a water bill that was left running is about learning responsibility. And, hopefully, there was a lesson about how bad that is for the environment too. ;)

Third, they were just there is September and are going back in May. This isn't a "special" trip. It's an extra trip. Not a bad thing, but they may not be appreciating it as much as they might otherwise. This trip isn't even their idea (unlike the pp child with the wii). They haven't been begging to go again. It is not the same as saving up for it (like the pp with the vacation fund piggy bank). It is an impromptu trip arisen from a last minute opportunity. They have barely had their money when they are being asked to spend it on something else; there has been no sacrifice. I don't think they will get much in the long term to contributing to it. If anything, I'm afraid it might teach them any unexpected windfall should be spent immediately without thinking of the long term.

Next, there are different in components to a trip. Contributing to the basics of a trip (food, lodging, transportation) is not the same thing as buying the extras of a trip that is for their own personal use (souvenirs). The former is the parents decision, the latter the child’s. Children should pay for their decisions, not the parents. Unless the kids are deciding on dates, transportation mode, researching the tickets, etc, they don't really have the say.

If it were me, I'd say we just can't afford the trip. I understand the OP is saying extra cash for the trip only (no debt, nothing else neglected), but if it were my family it would have to be my extra cash, not my kids, to equal a trip.

The way I see it, it isn't the same thing as teaching your child each and every time they get money that 20% goes to savings account that can not be touched, 10% goes to charitable acts and then the rest can be spent they way they want. This is the recommended model by experts to teach kids how to handle money and promote long term financial responsibility, btw. Actually, following that mode the kids should have $45 in savings, $22.5 to charity and only $157.50 to spend as they like--barely enough for the tickets; only $7.50 left for souvenirs when they get there, which we all know does not go far. Are you (general you, not just the OP) really going to tell the kids they get to pay to go, but have no options to do anything extra when they get there that they might want and would have spent their money on? Would that be a fun trip?

I don't think the OP is a horrible parent--or wrong in any way. I just wouldn't do it and I haven't been swayed by any of the pro-contribution arguments here. I find too many fallacies with them.
 

I personally think that asking your children to help contribute on a family vacation is absolutely fine. This my personal opinion - Your family has already enjoyed a vacation together provided totally by you and your DH. It is not in your family's norm to ask the children to pay for a piece of a vacation, but an opportunity has come up and is possible only if everyone is willing to contribute towards it. You are a family unit and if this trip is something everyone agrees on and would like to do, then why shouldn't the children have the opportunity to help make this trip happen. This trip is also about them, and they are old enough to decide if that is how they would like to spend some of their money or not. It is a purchase that they can decide on just like anything else. What do I want to do with my money - buy a Webkinz, a Wii system, save it, or go on another vacation.

There is nothing wrong with giving your children the opportunity to decide if this is something they would like to do or not. It is only wrong to force them.
 
I personally would not ask my 13 or 9 yo to contribute to a vacation.
 
I posted already as well- and I have read nothing to change my opinion either. I still think they are old enough to make the decision on their own.
The money is still the kids money to spend. I think if they agree to it $100 and change (prices dropped remember) isn't asking too much. They would each have $100 to spend as they like.
I don't read any of the financial experts advice on teaching kids money management. I used to read parenting books and I tossed them all aside- to me there is no 1 way right or wrong to raise your kids- or to teach them about money. I still think this is a great chance for them to learn A) Mom and Dad are not made of money. If they want an extra Disney trip they can help. B) Mom and Dad will not use credit cards to pay for a fun activity. Bills and other things come first. I do not see where this will lead to the kids thinking fun comes first or "Buy now pay later".
I won't take a percentage out of my kids money for automatic savings, or charity. If I am doing that for them where do they get the lesson. Kids need to learn on their own to save and not splurge. And what choices they can make with their money. Many kids will only see money as toys and candy- this could teach them there are other options. And who knows maybe next year they will say from the get go they want to spend their money on a vacation???
The trip can be presented as an extra trip to join Dad but no pressure since they do have another coming up.
And as someone who lives 3 1/2 hrs away- there can be too much Disney and they might say no! Last Oct my 4 yr old didn't want to go. She wanted to go to Wannado City that day instead :confused3
Other days she tells me she wants to go to Disney (yesterday in fact was one of those days) so I'll already ask her if she's gonna pay for it. She'll usually pretent to give me money- so I'll pretend to take her. It works well w/ a 4 yr old. (It also worked well at Christmas when she asked for Butterscotch. My DH drew a cheesy stick figure of a horse- called it Butterscotch and she was happy. Asked for the bird instead. :rotfl:
So with 2 trips in a year they really might not want to spend their money on a 3rd. But it should at least be presented as an option. Plus I have also learned- many kids really want something- till they have to pay for it themselves. Then they decide it's not something they want that badly after all.

I'm sorry if I jumped around in thought- my 2yr old has inturupted me more times than I can count!
 
The way I see it, it isn't the same thing as teaching your child each and every time they get money that 20% goes to savings account that can not be touched, 10% goes to charitable acts and then the rest can be spent they way they want. This is the recommended model by experts to teach kids how to handle money and promote long term financial responsibility, btw. Actually, following that mode the kids should have $45 in savings, $22.5 to charity and only $157.50 to spend as they like--barely enough for the tickets; only $7.50 left for souvenirs when they get there, which we all know does not go far. .

I agree that parents should be teaching their children how to handle money. But the problem with this is that often times the money that young children get is gift money. And I think that there are some people out there that would be upset if they knew they gave a child money to buy something they wanted, and the parent made the child put 20% in savings and 10% to a charity. This model is a great model for kids once they start earning money, but I'm not so sure it works for gifted money.
 
It also worked well at Christmas when she asked for Butterscotch.

Totally off topic, but we also had to also scramble to come up with something other than Butterscotch for Xmas! Too big and too expensive for my DD7. She got a Breyer horse playset instead and never mentioned Butterscotch again. Now back to our regularly scheduled topic.
 
I wouldn't ask given that they were just there and will go back again in a few months. If it was a once in a childhood kind of thing, then maybe. But otherwise, pass on this time. They'll be more excited the next time they go if they've waited a while.
 
I don't see anything wrong with it, since your former husband, and his Mom (the givers of the $) would be cool with it.

As I said earlier, dd would jump at a chance to do this. We had a bonus trip, same situation with dh's having a conference down there in June. We explained to her it was a bonus trip, so we were trying to not spend as much $$ as usual. I think she would have been thrilled to eat beans and camp in a tent as long as she was at WDW!!:goodvibes
 
I'd have no problem at all if my kids (ages 9 & 11) wanted to use some of their Christmas money to do this. I agree with the PP -- the memories of the trip will far outlast any toy they might buy.

I just asked them and the 9yo said "sure I'd love to!!!" ... the 11 yo said "well, since they'd still have $100 to spend, I'd be willing to use $100 for airfare. Besides, they'd get an extra trip out of it!" :thumbsup2

OP - be sure and let us know what you decide! ;)
 
The financial guideline I used earlier is not a “parenting” thing that you will find in parenting books or magazines, well you might, but that is not where it is being drawn from. It is a financial advisor thing. Something taught in MBA programs and any type of financial advisor certification program. You find that advice everywhere when being taught about financial responsibility—it’s a guideline you are supposed to follow through adulthood. That 20% savings is your cushion for emergencies—layoffs, car accidents, medical issues not covered by insurance, appliances going out, etc. It is also where you are supposed to draw from for big ticket items—college, house, car, etc.

The way I figure it, I have only 18 years to teach my kids financial responsibility. I do not want them going into debt, thinking of credit cards as money and I want them to have the things they want. It’s one of the reasons we start an allowance by the age of 4. We count gifted money in following the correct model. The way we figure it, the IRS taxes on gifted money, then the kids should use gifted money in much the same way. Besides, unless the giver says “this is for…” it is not their choice in how the money is spent.

The savings is theirs at 18—it’s hardly being taken away. Their name is on the custodial account and they have the statements gone over with them every month, seeing the interest grow. If no one ever tells them it is important to save, and how much you should be saving, how in the heck are they ever going to learn? They don’t turn some magical age and have it all come together for them. Kind of like saying thank you and please. And my kids choose the charity in which to donate. I like teaching social responsibility. DS6 has his own social causes that he really works at.

I also said no cash = no vacation. I am in no way advocating putting it on a credit card. Only one person said that is what *they* would do, knowing other money would be coming in to pay it off immediately. It isn’t a buy now, pay later attitude—it’s a splurge on the impulsive rather than looking at the long term attitude even if all cash. Three WDW trips in 8 months might make kids think mom and dad are made of money more so than skipping the middle trip, even if they help contribute to one.

I agree vacation memories are great. That is why we choose to spend our money on them, twice a year—once to WDW and once elsewhere. We had the same thing for us in 2005. We had just been in Sept. 2004, had a trip planned for May 2005. DH took a new job and had a conference at WDW in March. Room was paid for onsite. We had season passes to cover both of those trips. All we had to do was pay for my airfare and airfare for our oldest (second was still a lap baby and number 3 wasn’t here yet). We skipped it. With changing jobs, there was going to be a paycheck lag, DH “lost” the company car and funds for a new car and insurance was required, and we didn’t want to lose the emergency cushion on top of it.

AGAIN: I do not think the OP is horrible for thinking, or doing it. Just not something I would do. A lot of times on threads like this, while I don’t usually change my mind, I am given food for thought. I just haven’t run across anything that has made me say, “Gee, never thought of it that way.” Or even, “Valid point.” I guess the big thing is asking your kids rather than it being their idea. Plus, I still think there might be inadvertent pressure on one for both of the kids to agree; I’m really thinking one child will pressure the other child, not the OP.
 
I may be too open minded here but Im not one that lives by everything taught in education or rather degree programs. I am one who thinks the parents should know best and what works for one family may not be best for another family.
 
I have to admit I did not read all of the replies, but I think that asking kids to help pay for vacation - if they decide it is something they want to do - teaches them about money and the fact that vacations do cost money. I think your kids will have more respect for money than those whose parents just hand everything to them.
 
I don't really see a lot wrong with this. I mean, if you told your kids, "We're going to Disney if you foot the bill" then I would feel differently. But if you pose it as a choice for the kids to spend their money on a trip to Disney or something else, I don't see anything wrong with asking. As long as you are willing to accept the answer either way, I don't see any harm.
 
I don't really see a lot wrong with this. I mean, if you told your kids, "We're going to Disney if you foot the bill" then I would feel differently. But if you pose it as a choice for the kids to spend their money on a trip to Disney or something else, I don't see anything wrong with asking. As long as you are willing to accept the answer either way, I don't see any harm.
 
I do not see anything wrong with asking the kids if they want to help. From a young age, my family's vacations were a team effort, and as I got older, I would help contribute money to my ticket or whatever. My parents never made me, but I wanted to do it. Looking back on my childhood, I do not have one regret on spending my money on a Disney vacation. I can not say the same things about the toys I bought and played with once.
 
[QUOTE=ClarabelleCowFan;22379459]Well last summer DDs forgot and left the hose running on the slip-n-slide for almost 24 hours straight and they were informed if that happened again they WOULD be contributing to the water bill!

Funny that you should mention this as my Dad did just that. My sister had a bad habit of leaving things on, lights, curling irons, tv, constantly adjusting the thermostat, etc. Anyway, my Dad told her repeatedly to stop doing these things, and she refused. After a year or so of this nonsense, my Dad sat her down and showed her the spike in electric bills due to her wastefulness. Anyway, that did not leave a lasting impression (teenagers!) on her and nothing changed. Six months later, frustrated and angry, my Dad made her pay the family electric bill for one month. He told her that she would continue to pay the bill if she did not start turning things off. Well, once was enough, as she basically spent several years of birthday, X-mas, babysitting money on that months bill. Well she finally learned a valuable lesson about resources, wastefulness and fire safety (that was my fear). Twenty years later, she owns a 5,000 sq. ft house in warm and sunny Minnesota. One of her teenage boys starting doing the same crap. Well, she told him about the lesson that she learned at the same age and also pointed out the very big difference in houses. We grew up in a 1,400 sq ft home and that bill was not that large, the bill on her current house is over $500 a month. Well, he turned into a little utility nazi and started going around the house making sure everything was turned off and everyone was doing the same. The good thing about this is everyone learned a valuable lesson about wasting utilities and her electric bill has actually gone down. It is never too late to get your children involved in how things actually work and what to expect in the real world. As my Dad used to say "turn it off, I don't own stock in the utility company". Food for thought!
 
OP- I had a sinking feeling when I read your post a couple of days ago that you might get ripped for this one. :)

Personally, if you think your kids could grasp the concept (they ARE 9 and 13, NOT exceptionally young, so I would imagine they can), go for it. Like someone did mention, I would be a little worried if one said yes and one said no. I think maybe having a backup plan in case one does not want to spend the $$ on the trip would be good.

But comparing this to "borrowing money" from the kids or "using their money to pay your utilities" is ridiculous. My older kids are 13 and 15. I could easily see saying to them "guys, we are still going to WDW in May. We might be able to swing an extra trip before then, but you guys would have to buy your own plane tickets with your Christmas money. Now, we can either go an extra time or you can save the money and have it as extra spending money in May. Think about it and let me know what you think you would like to do."

Why is that a huge horrible thing?

I am sorry, but some of the posts made it sound like she was breaking into her toddler's piggy bank to grab cash for cigarettes or something. :rolleyes:

And yes, she said money was tight and maybe they should save and not take an extra trip. But that wasn't the question she asked, so I am just going to leave that alone.
 


Disney Vacation Planning. Free. Done for You.
Our Authorized Disney Vacation Planners are here to provide personalized, expert advice, answer every question, and uncover the best discounts. Let Dreams Unlimited Travel take care of all the details, so you can sit back, relax, and enjoy a stress-free vacation.
Start Your Disney Vacation
Disney EarMarked Producer






DIS Facebook DIS youtube DIS Instagram DIS Pinterest DIS Tiktok DIS Twitter

Add as a preferred source on Google

Back
Top Bottom