Would this bother you?

[AdventurerKat]

We (meaning me, my 2 ds, my niece and my MIL) are heading to WDW at the end of the month for three nights. My MIL tells me that she is going to take my niece to tea at the GF. She doesn't invite me or the boys, just announces that she is taking my niece for tea because she thinks she would like it.

Now, I don't know if I would even want to go to tea at the GF, and there is probably less of a chance that my 2 ds would want to go but maybe they would, but isn't it kind of rude for her to just say that they are going and not even ask if we want to go too?

 

[Lil_Tink]

 

[MomofKatie]

It would have been nice of her to ask you if you wanted to go, so you could decide to or not. But the tea at GF (if it is the one I am thinking of) is really more of a "girly" thing- the boys probably wouldn't want to go, given the choice. Maybe that is why she didn't ask you. Or, she might have wanted some "girls only" time with her granddaughter.

Look into some fun things you and the boys could do while the girls are at the tea- you could do a little "mom/&sons bonding" of your own!

It's always nicer to ask if someone wants to participate, rather than telling them they aren't invited, though.

***Edited: Sorry- looked at your profile and you are a Mom, not a Dad- made some changes to my answer!!***

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I took my girls for "girls time" at tea. I guess it is kind of a girly thing. Always has been in my family. Though if we had sons I would take them as it is part of my heritage the whole tea thing.

The only children's tea offered is the "Mrs. Pott's Tea". Perhaps a young man would enjoy it. (the tea is chocolate milk or juice served up in a tea pot). Also--the dishes have a floral pattern and the decor is rather feminine.

While this doesn't exclude boys (I did see men there)--it doesn't scream "hey, let's go take our grandson there while he's at Disney. He'd have a blast". KWIM.

But if I had a son I don't think I would be bothered by them not going to tea. I would personally be bothered b/c as a lover of "tea time"--I definitely would want to go to tea. Though, I'm not sure that what she did counts as being "rude".

Just my two cents.

 

[Ziva]

I don't really find it rude. She probably just see's it as a time to do a fun "girl thing" with her granddaughter.

 

[dis ms.]

If I had only boys like you, I don't think it would bother me, as I see that as more of a girl activity. It would have been nice of her to ask, but I wouldn't let it get to me. IMHO, it would be different if you had a little girl and your MIL was only taking the other granddaughter.

 

[ericamanda01]

Yes and no. It does sound like a girly thing, but perhaps she could have picked something that everyone would enjoy.

 

[nomie74]

Maybe she just wanted some one on one time, do they live far apart? Also maybe the boys could do the pirate cruise and you could join the girls for tea? Maybe your MIL didn't know there was something the boys could do. Who knows, either way you're going to be in Disney--- Yeah! I'm jealous! Have fun.

 

[FreshTressa]

If I had only boys like you, I don't think it would bother me, as I see that as more of a girl activity. It would have been nice of her to ask, but I wouldn't let it get to me. IMHO, it would be different if you had a little girl and your MIL was only taking the other granddaughter.

Yah, I'm sure no harm was intended. It will be neat for your neice to have special time with grandma that she will remember forever.

 

[Stacerita]

Well I think its kinda rude. Maybe she didnt intend to be rude about it, but she shouldn't have just announced it. It might have been better if she explained that she wanted "girly" time or see if you and the boys would be bothered by not attending the tea. Although its not typically a boy thing, to only take one of the 3 kids going on the trip isn't the best idea. Unless she was planning on having time with the boys as well. She probably should have discussed it to see if you thought the boys would mind or how the whole group would feel about not all going instead of just telling you that the two of them would be doing the tea. Like I said, I think its kinda rude. JMO

 

[grlpwrd]

Besides the sexist vibe I am feeling, are there issues between you and your MIL? Perhaps that is a reason why you are feeling a bit slighted which I would feel the same way, too, especially if I had a MIL who would consistently do this type of thing.

Just concentrate on having fun ...

 

[Marseeya]

I think it's rude if she doesn't intend on doing anything separate with the boys, even if it's just taking them to breakfast somewhere, or doing anything to even it out a bit. But I can understand her wanting to do something "girls only." As a mother of a girl and a boy, I've noticed with my DD that it's very important to her that we get to have "girls days out" every once in a while. My DS couldn't care less about things like that.

Maybe you should just ask her about it rather than feeling slighted for possibly no reason.

 

[chyam]

I don't really find it rude. She probably just see's it as a time to do a fun "girl thing" with her granddaughter.

I think the same thing she probably just figured the boys wouldn't want to do it anyways, but she should do something with them on another day.

 

[GailT]

I would be more offended if she ask dthe boys to go to a tea. Maybe you could do something fun with the boys. Now wha that wouls be I don't know, I dont have little kids but maybe other could suggest somthing. How old are the voys?

 

[AdventurerKat]

Thanks for the responses everyone. No, she has not set something up special for her and the boys. She lives the same distance from all the grandkids, she's in NJ, we're in Sarasota.

I can understand her wanting to do something "girly" with my niece, and that is fine, but she didn't preface it that way. Just came out and said this is what they were doing on this day, that was it. Its just the way it was presented I guess.

Really I doubt my boys would want to do tea, and I doubt I would either, but you would think when you are traveling with other people, you would go through the nicety of at least making the point of asking, whether they think you would or not, or explaining why you don't want them there. Its not going to ruin our trip or anything, I just was a little taken aback that she had decided to just go ahead and make separate plans and announced it that way. I would have never just announce I was going to send my boys on the pirate cruise because its a "boy thing" (I know girls go on it too but pirates = boys at Disney, its pretty much all they get with respect to special activities) without checking to see if my niece had wanted to go. And I doubt she would, but I would have asked. Actually, I would have asked my MIL too if she minded the kids going off for a couple hours, but maybe I am just a smidge more polite.

I do intend finding something to do with the boys during that time but unfortunately its at an odd time of the day, 2-4, which means too late for lunch for us and too early for dinner or I would have taken them to a character meal. I may take them over to MGM to the SciFi for some kind of dessert or snack or something, my older son really likes it there, or maybe to Fort Wilderness if anything is going on that time of day. Or maybe a Beaches and Cream kitchen sink. I will think of something.

Thanks again.

 

[mudnuri]

Rent a mouse boat while they are at the tea....the boys would love that!

no, I wouldnt be mad, and I dont think it was rude of her...but here is where I'd let it roll....not a way to start a vacation, already upset about something

Brandy

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I do agree that it was a bit rude of her. Not so much bringing the girl to the tea, but that she didn't ask you are say something like, "I'm bringing her to the tea and I assume that it's not something that the boys would want to do." At least then she'd be recognizing that she was doing something apart for the others and give you a chance to say if they would or wouldn't be interested in going. Too bad she's not planning something special to do with her grandsons, but maybe she feels that since you will have them there you will do something that they would enjoy.

 

[laura001]

It sounds to me as if she is just not thinking, she probably assumed that because you had boys you/they would not want to go to a "girly" tea. I don't think it is wrong that she take your dn without you and the boys, she could have asked in a much nicer way as to not hurt your feelings or make you feel like she wasn't thinking about you and the boys. She could have said that she was hoping to do something "girly" with your DN and either say to you that she would love to have you along if the boys wanted to partake, or that she was hoping to do this with your DN and then plan something for her to do with your two boys also.

 

[MariettaC]

I've made many trips with my grandchildren to Disney World and I would never invite my granddaughters to tea (or anything else) and not extend the same invitation to my grandsons.

 

[Wish I lived in Fl]

I am a mom. I told my DH on the last trip that DD and I were doing MK together one day including CRT. BUt i did buy DH and DS tickets to Disney Quest which they thoroughly enjoyed, especially after getting to sleep in late.