Would this bother you- Facebook related Update post 69

[Serena]

Just talk with him. If he does lie then you will know soon enough.

 

[lg3]

Seriously? Asking your spouse why he is hiding an on-line relationship with an ex-girlfriend is a simple conversation to you?

I'm with you disykat!

It sure might be. Either way, it's easier than the hand wringing thats going on in this thread or the fruitless skullduggery.

If the skullduggery is fruitless, so much the better. If not, it is well-worth the time. I hope all works out well for the OP.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I'm with you disykat!

If the skullduggery is fruitless, so much the better. If not, it is well-worth the time. I hope all works out well for the OP.

I also agree. I wouldn't put this in the simple conversation category. Her question may be simple, but the answer could run the gamut. IMO, the OP should be mentally prepared.

Just my .02.

 

[Acklander]

If it was me, I'd just ask. I've never been big on snooping (figure, everyone deserves their privacy, even when you're married to them). If their's a problem you'll know soon enough.
But I'm weird though, I'm the type who'd be more likely to forgive a one night stand over someone snooping through my business. The first I could see as a mistake happening (not something I'd be thrilled with, but I could see us getting beyond it) The second would be my partner saying they didn't trust me - I couldn't live with someone who didn't trust me.

 

[disykat]

I can't even imagine having my own "business" that I wouldn't want my dh to know about. The only thing I've ever even preferred he not know about was an occasional Ben and Jerry's hidden in the freezer - and if he finds that, Oh well!

 

[teacups]

i can't even imagine having my own "business" that i wouldn't want my dh to know about. The only thing i've ever even preferred he not know about was an occasional ben and jerry's hidden in the freezer - and if he finds that, oh well!

ita.

 

[Aristomommy]

If that was my DH, I would approach him when he was on the computer and asked to see the facebook account. If he had nothing to hide, he would open it without a problem.

 

[luvestodizz]

UPDATE: I did ask him about the account. He says he has no idea how she appears as his friend and he does not even know what email that account is attached to. So he never accepted her friend under Mike and does not know who the Michael account is. He was actually mad that I was accusing him of having an internet affair and can believe I don't trust him. I am going to show him the 2 accounts Friday when he's home and see his reaction in the flesh. So that's it for now.

 

[OceanAnnie]

UPDATE: I did ask him about the account. He says he has no idea how she appears as his friend and he does not even know what email that account is attached to. So he never accepted her friend under Mike and does not know who the Michael account is. He was actually mad that I was accusing him of having an internet affair and can believe I don't trust him. I am going to show him the 2 accounts Friday when he's home and see his reaction in the flesh. So that's it for now.

Seems strange for him to be mad so quickly. What is he mad at you for? Finding the other account? Asking him about it? He's awful quick to take on the victim role. Be careful.

 

[KristaTX]

Maybe the woman is a nutcase and just made up an account in his name and made herself "his" friend. That's better, but scary in itself.

His name isn't more common than the one you used in your example, is it? I'm amazed at how many people have similar or identical names to people I look up on there.

 

[DisneyBlonde]

UPDATE: I did ask him about the account. He says he has no idea how she appears as his friend and he does not even know what email that account is attached to. So he never accepted her friend under Mike and does not know who the Michael account is. He was actually mad that I was accusing him of having an internet affair and can believe I don't trust him. I am going to show him the 2 accounts Friday when he's home and see his reaction in the flesh. So that's it for now.

Good luck to you. I hope that what he says is true, and that there is another Michael XXX, and she Friended him. Some people don't even care who they are Friends with, my DS is friends with 400 people and he doesn't know half of them. Odd though that this other Michael only has her as a Friend. I think I'd feel better if he had lots of Friends.

 

[Robmom]

I hope he is telling you the truth, but still keep an eye out. I do know someone who had a similar problem with her DH. He doesn't use the internet and doesn't even know what Facebook is, and he had a page. It turned out that his ex set up the page, and added herself and others as "friends". My friend is pretty sure that her DH was being truthful, because he doesn't even know how to turn a computer on. But, she is also being careful, in case he is in fact, lying.

 

[2binak]

UPDATE: I did ask him about the account. He says he has no idea how she appears as his friend and he does not even know what email that account is attached to. So he never accepted her friend under Mike and does not know who the Michael account is. He was actually mad that I was accusing him of having an internet affair and can believe I don't trust him. I am going to show him the 2 accounts Friday when he's home and see his reaction in the flesh. So that's it for now.

I hope he's being honest OP and that there's nothing going on. Also ask if he's ever received a friend request from her at his Mike account. You said that you found the e-mail about the request to his Mike account - print that out, make a couple of copies if you have to and if he denies the friend request to the Mike account, you'll at least have the e-mail to back you up if you feel the need to present it to him. I'm not saying you should present it to him at this time, but if he finds it and deletes it, you'll still have it.

 

[vettechick99]

Seems strange for him to be mad so quickly. What is he mad at you for? Finding the other account? Asking him about it? He's awful quick to take on the victim role. Be careful.

Yes, very odd to me also. Especially if you were careful in your approach - not accusatory. Keep us posted.

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

Sorry, but now I would be 10000 times more suspect of him. Getting MAD about it? Thats total proof to me that hes lying. Just way way way to coincidential (sp?). I mean, I was born at night, but not last night. Keep searching. Go under his email acct and email facebook saying that you forgot the password. Then you can get it.

 

[hegsag]

It gets worse- I found the email inviting him to be her friend and it was sent to the Mike Facebook. So Michael was created to be friends with her. I just know if I confront him the reason will be he forgot his password.
He is leaving tonight for work reasons and keeps asking me why am I mad. I really don't know what to do.

How did you find the emailinviting him to be her friend? This is what would concern me?

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

How did you find the emailinviting him to be her friend? This is what would concern me?

Yeah - that means you would KNOW what email he made this bogus account under, right??? You need to go on there, and ask for the acct password and see what is really going on. If you don't, I will!!

 

[2binak]

Yeah - that means you would KNOW what email he made this bogus account under, right??? You need to go on there, and ask for the acct password and see what is really going on. If you don't, I will!!

She doesn't know what e-mail the Michael account was created under because the friend request was sent to his Mike account. The Michael account was created after she sent the friend request to his Mike account.

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

She doesn't know what e-mail the Michael account was created under because the friend request was sent to his Mike account. The Michael account was created after she sent the friend request to his Mike account.

Ok, maybe I'm getting this totally messed up, but bare with me.

If it was truely only a request, then she wouldn't have seen it - the only person who can see friend requests is the person whos acct it is. The the case would have been that "Mike" accepted the request. Or are you saying that she saw the request on "Michaels" acct???
So confusing!

 

[teacups]

Once a liar- Always a liar.

I'm not saying he is a liar... but I think some guys in this case might be a liar/s.
Whats he gonna say, "Ok Honey, you caught me. And she met me on the business trip too. Sorry." ??? Doubtful.