Would it be unforgivably tacky if...?

[verticalchaos]

Not to hijack this thread, but would everyone consider it tacky if I were reading my Kindle at a table in a rest? I am going on a solo trip so will not have a dinner companion.

I agree with others who have said this is alright. For two main reasons...
First: Kindle (or nook...or I assume any eReader that uses e-ink) doesn't glow. If you an read in restaurant light, no one will know. And Second: There is a big difference between someone traveling on their own without dinner companions and a member of a family blatantly ignoring others at the table with them.

I have a nook, and yes it does go with me in Manhattan if I am dining by myself. But if I am dining with a friend - or when I am with my family in WDW, I wouldn't dream of pulling it out at the table, because yes, with others, that would imho be rude.

 

[3floridarays]

I would like to clarify that DS is capable of sitting through long meals and behaving himself. He's even been through an etiquette course at his private school and knows which fork goes with which food.

He wouldn't start misbehaving toward the end of a long meal, he just might not be having a very good time at that point. It's supposed to be an enjoyable trip for him too, right?

We were at Coral Reef last weekend at a table by the tank. DS was enjoying his steak when a woman with 2 kids came over and while one of the kids squeezed around DS to get close to the tank, the other kid actually sat down in the extra chair at our table! Then the mother propped her knee in the chair and proceded to take pictures! Talk about distracting! We were stunned. DS was the one who spoke up and said "Excuse me, but we're trying to enjoy our meal".

Oh, and I should also point out that practically every table at Coral Reef had an adult who fiddled with their blackberry, cell phone, iPhone, etc at some point during their meal.

 

[topmonkeygirl]

This whole electronics crazed society drives me nuts. I used to work the grave yard in a retail store and people would come in at 3 in the morning talking on the phone, who in the world are you talking to that late at night? People can't even go to the store and check out without having a conversation on their phone, how rude is that? Stand there right in your face talking to Aunt Gertrude about what the cat yacked up. I mean I have truely heard some conversations about absolutely nothing while working retail.
No one can get off the electronics from little ones up to old ones. If it's not phones it's Ipods, nintendos, lap tops, blackberries... You see people together and they're talking on phones why aren't they talking to the one's they're with? That's because they talked to each other on the phone the day before, so now they have nothing to talk about.
It didn't kill us when we were kids not having all of this electronic stuff to keep us occupied all of the time. To me I think it just teaches kids not to have manners or respect for others. I'm not dumping all over you it's society in general. I understand if your child gets bored near the end of the meal, I do to. I really hate waiting 1/2 an hour to get my check and them to bring back the credit card, but I have patients. This is what teaches children patients is waiting, and not being intertained all of the time won't kill them.

Thanks for letting me rant. Like I said I'm not trying to dump all over you I just think that there is a time and place for all of this electronic stuff and it's not at restaurants, while driving, waiting in line, theaters, shows...

 

[Pumbaa_]

glitterkitty must be having a catnap

once again.....

 

[humboldthny]

To me I think it just teaches kids not to have manners or respect for others.....

....there is a time and place for all of this electronic stuff and it's not at restaurants, while driving, waiting in line, theaters, shows...

I'm with topmonkey girl....none of us live in a bubble...what we choose to do effects everyone around us, as does the attitude with which we do it.

 

[ireland_nicole]

I don't think your 11 y/o using his DS after a meal is tacky. I do think anyone staring at your table while judging your parenting skills is acting in a way that would be considered tacky, though.

FWIW, I'm a little concerned at how vehemently some are opposed. ALthough this posters child is neurotypical, my child, and 1/110 like her, are not. I promise you, kids with autism look like other kids, and are not immediately recognizeable as "disabled." Not to hijack the thread, but I wanted to clarify that across a restaurant, or anywhere else, it is impossible to tell. Therefore, I would ask a little tolerance.

 

[wheniwasyoung]

I would like to clarify that DS is capable of sitting through long meals and behaving himself. He's even been through an etiquette course at his private school and knows which fork goes with which food.

He wouldn't start misbehaving toward the end of a long meal, he just might not be having a very good time at that point. It's supposed to be an enjoyable trip for him too, right?......

I would like to clarify that DS is capable of sitting through long meals and behaving himself. He's even been through an etiquette course at his private school and knows which fork goes with which food.

He wouldn't start misbehaving toward the end of a long meal, he just might not be having a very good time at that point. It's supposed to be an enjoyable trip for him too, right?.......

You are right. It’s his vacation too. It seems that there are at least three issues that you have started with this excellent post.

1. Dinning etiquette.
Sounds like some would prefer that their and other people’s children follow their families dining values at ALL time, including Disney vacations. I personally could not expect that from any on my children at Disney but do expect it most other times, including and more importantly at home, where it is a necessity that families openly communicate with each other. I have to ask, “Is a Disney restaurant really the place that you are going to have the important conversations? With all of the distractions going on, is this where you are going to miss something that needs to be said?”

2. Use of electronics in public places.
I'm afraid that we in the 21st century and people that are using phones and other things in a restaurant are no longer breaking any type of dining etiquette, especially at Disney. As an owner of two businesses and actively involved in a volunteer service, I depend on these type of electronics for survival and they also allow me to take several vacations, including at least three trips to Disney each year. In this day and age communication is a must, including those who have family and friends on property and need to keep track of them. HOWEVER, you should never hear any type of ringer, alarm, message alert, or theme music from the device. After all, we are not a bunch of animals (at least not yet).
3. Missing memories for the sake of Etiquette?
To lump everyone who carries a game boy or cell phone in one general group is not very kind. Yes, it drives me crazy the way people conduct themselves but doesn't that apply with almost every other subject?
Didn’t you say it was an anniversary dinner? Like any other celebration, there are going to be many ages with either limitations or different abilities. Yes, it goes without saying that your son should and would sit still all evening. However, not to have him with you or having him only remembering how bored he was just doesn’t make much sense to me. Especially if it’s because others feel it’s not right. You sound like a very stable and sensible parent. Keep your son with you, make him happy when you reasonable can, and enjoy all the time you possibly can with him. Don’t ever miss out on the times that Mr. Walt intended you to have with your WHOLE family. Don’t forget to take pictures so all of you can remember your evening for a long time.

 

[SOnotLayuh]

I think there are good arguments either way, but I'm personally on the "no way" thread. Cali Grill is such a high class place that we were dressed up and still felt like we weren't "fancy enough"! We were there from 9 (reservation time) until around midnight or later, so for us it was much more than 2 hours of sitting around. We aren't drinkers, and we don't monopolize tables once we're done eating (because I used to wait tables and don't want to hold up the waitress when she can be turning over tables and making more money)... it just really takes that long. It's not just dinner, and first and foremost an *experience*.

It's also so super expensive, so you may save money by letting your kid do one of the "babysitting" type of activities instead of having him want that $60 steak (which, FYI, is worth EVERY SINGLE PENNY), and then throwing a fit because he can't have it.

CG is the most romantic restaurant, IMHO, and you would probably have more fun with your DH

 

[handinpocket]

I think there are good arguments either way, but I'm personally on the "no way" thread. Cali Grill is such a high class place that we were dressed up and still felt like we weren't "fancy enough"! We were there from 9 (reservation time) until around midnight or later, so for us it was much more than 2 hours of sitting around. We aren't drinkers, and we don't monopolize tables once we're done eating (because I used to wait tables and don't want to hold up the waitress when she can be turning over tables and making more money)... it just really takes that long. It's not just dinner, and first and foremost an *experience*.

It's also so super expensive, so you may save money by letting your kid do one of the "babysitting" type of activities instead of having him want that $60 steak (which, FYI, is worth EVERY SINGLE PENNY), and then throwing a fit because he can't have it.

CG is the most romantic restaurant, IMHO, and you would probably have more fun with your DH

Have you ever BEEN to CG...I'm thinking...NOT. There are plenty of people in park attire (not that I would do that, but nice, casual clothes is fine). The steak is no where no 60.00.

 

[jenjersnap]

We've found CG to be one of the least romantic of the signatures. After CRT which I also maligned recently for being unromantic.

My kids are very good in restaurants, but sometimes during a long dinner we'll pull out the iphone and the ear buds. It depends on the circumstances, but we do have the phone as a weapon in our arsenal. We did it at CG, in fact, and, as we were in one of those curved family booths and the kids were sitting enclosed between Mom and Dad, I am 100% certain that we were inconveniencing no one with glare or anything else.

 

[acejka]

To answer your original question with my opinion only, yes I find it tacky.

I was raised in a house where you didn't need to bring toys, books, etc. to the table because you were at the table to eat a meal with the family and talk to each other. If I was not able to sit there the entire time, we didn't go out. It didn't matter if I was bored, I was the child, and my grandparents (they raised me) were the people taking me out and I was expected to behave and have a pleasant meal.

I don't have kids yet, but I will be using the same rules, if I want to go to a nice restuarant and I don't think the kids can handle it, I would consider the babysitting services offered.

 

[scojos]

well, i think you have to do what is best for you and your family.
i think that everyone has opposing views on most things, take the kids out of school? wait 90 mins to meet the princesses? the great thing about wdw is its different things for different people.
it wouldnt bother me if your son was quiet and calm on his ds, have never been to CG, though have done other sig restaurants, and there are loads of kids everywhere, most not behaving appropraietly
we considered CG this year, but have opted for ohanas and watch the fireworks from the beach (with a cocktail)
Do what is best for you!!
ps we are putting our 12 10 and 7 year olds in the kids club for our dinner at VandA, dh and i deserve some down time too
tracy

 

[sdemore]

I'd rather have a child quietly playing a DS than throwing a fit asking if it's time to go or running around the place ruining my meal. So i'd be okay with it.
who really cares what they think anyways! you are enjoying a nice meal and not disturbing others! a win win situation!

My thoughts exactly, especially if he is using earbuds. If you are worried about the "glow" who complains about the glow from Wishes?

 

[melvin]

My DH and I will be at the Cali Grill next week, sans kids, and would be happy to have your game playing son sit next to us. Cali is great, but it is Disney, and instead of romantic, words I would use are noisy, active, etc. We have dined here many times and have seen: parents ignoring a crying baby throughout our whole meal, toddlers allowed to "visit" other's tables, drunk, loud conventioneers... so yes, please come, sit next to us and bring your son. It is not in any way "uncooth" (sorry, couldn't resist, I'm a grammarian).

 

[jess20k]

I also would say that is disrespectful. I understand that you want to keep your child occupied, but I would not let my DS do that in any restaurant.

 

[Nadjalu]

Personally I think the OP really answered their own question.....

If you feel the need to ask, then you probably aren't comfortable with it to begin with and wouldn't really want it disturbing your meal, that is why they are asking.

I think this is a very personal choice, being selfish or being considerate. People either think because they are on vacation they can do anything they want because they are paying for and deserving of it.

The way I look at it is 2 ways.........

What I do still affects those around me, whether I like it or not. There is a lack of manners in this country now and people need to take responsibility for their actions and how it affects others.

Second, this situation is a perfect example of "keeping the child occupied" instead of teaching them proper behavior.
Another issue we have now a days. Through the child's life we give them what they want, don't let them get hurt or disappointed and never make them learn there are times for play and times that you need to sit and be patient.

Then when they become an adult they aren't sure what they should be doing.

If the child cannot do what is expected then he/she is not ready for the situation. So if your child needs stimulated/occupied instead of sitting patiently waiting for a meal and spending time talking with the family, then he or she needs to not go to that dinner and stay home and play games.

How do they learn if we dont' teach them?

Dinner is for eating and talking, spedning time with family and friends NOT play time.

 

[TDC Nala]

I think there are good arguments either way, but I'm personally on the "no way" thread. Cali Grill is such a high class place that we were dressed up and still felt like we weren't "fancy enough"!

When was this? The last few times I've been there I was surrounded by people in park clothes (one of those times I was there in park clothes, decided to walk over from MK and eat sushi in the lounge)

Fillet of beef on the current "unofficial" menu is $44, could come close to $60 with tax and tip.

 

[bangzoom6877]

It wouldn't bother me to be at a nice restaurant and see a child using his/her DS at a nearby table, no matter the age of the child. However, other people may feel differently.

Personally, my older son has a DS (he just got it for his 5th b-day). I never allow him to bring his DS to restaurants or family functions or anything like that. We have very strict rules for his use of his DS and he knows it. We will always have strict rules. So, if it were me, and I felt my son couldn't handle a long dinner at California Grill, I would either not go there at all, or I would bring him to one of the kids' clubs for a few hours while DH and I dined there. On this upcoming trip, our little one will only be 3 so we can't use the kids' club for him. Therefore no signatures for us (not sure if they could handle the lengthy meal and don't want to disturb others). But on the trip after that, DH and I already decided we would put the kids into the kids' club at the Beach Club resort and go to one of the signature restaurants just the 2 of us.

 

[seadd67]

I think I love you pooh! I am a huge kindle reader and it goes with me everywhere. You are hereby pumbaa_ approved to read your kindle anywhere!

 

[amyngary]

OMG people - get over yourselves. The OP is absolutely correct. It is his vacation too. We have traveled with our kids since they were tiny, and while we don't allow books, toys, electronics, etc., at our home dinner table, we also don't eat dessert or keep them up late every night at home like we do at Disney. When oldest DD was 1.5, we took an Alaskan cruise and she was one of the few kids there. She was very polite, but did something very childlike - she kept saying hello to everyone in the elevator with us - oh the horror ;-). It prompted me to apologize to those around us because I got some dirty looks from people. A very nice older man said "no need to apologize, it's her vacation too". It was so kind of him, and while that is not meant to say that anyone can disregard others' feelings while on vacation, it did remind me that adults should not expect kids to be seen and not heard, etc. They are people too and have just as much right to be there and enjoy themselves as all of the judgmental people who keep telling the OP how to parent. As a side note, another guest overheard this and said "but they don't charge as much for kids" - I feel sorry for some people who will never be happy.

Anyway, OP did not ask for parenting advice, she asked if it would be rude to others. She has also made it clear that her intention is not to use it throughout the meal or disrupt others with it. Her son sounds like a great child in fact.

We paid for the neverland club in December while we went to Cali Grill, and it was a waste of money. The kids did not enjoy it, we were on the Deluxe dining plan, so we didn't save money on their meal that way, it was just an extra $100 expense. We thought the kids would enjoy it more than sitting through our long meal, but now we know that it was not worth the extra cost. We have learned from that experience.

We love Cali Grill and have 2 ADRs there next month with our DD4 and DD9, and we will be taking their DSi's and will only let them play with them after we have our family conversation and they are finished eating, etc. But our parenting style should not concern any of you....