Would it be unforgivably tacky if...?

[JUJU814]

Freaking out??? Umm ...OK.

If chose to let my kids play DS in a restaurant in a completely non-disturbing way, I would not have to justify it to anyone. You'd have to show me why you feel justified in glaring at me or making rude remarks (assuming you would actually do something like that - not saying you would).

I can't imagine that anyone could make a case for this being UNFORGIVABLY tacky. Sure, you can argue it's tacky, but NOT unforgivably so. It's certainly something that can be overlooked by anyone minding their own business.

I think people are well aware that opinions were asked for.

I'm sorry, my term "freaking out" was NOT directed at you...or anyone really...just the thread in general. Please accept my apologies.

Nobody has to justify anything to anyone. And nobody should give people dirty looks. I'm still trying to get over the lady that got dirty looks on a cruise because her little girl was saying "hello" in an elevator. Good grief!

Nothing is "unforgivable" Especially what OP is asking!

I may have answered on the "tacky" side in the thread as it's not a choice I would make, but really, being in the restaurant, it's not something that would catch my attention and make me think one way or the other.

Disney is supposed to be the "happiest place on earth". When I'm there with my family, I'm concerned with what we're doing and if w'ere having a good time. I would love to be at Disney and see EVERYONE happy and having fun. Dirty looks aren't fun and Disney'ish!

 

[FireDancer]

Any one poster's opinion is not any more right or less right than any other poster's. This seems to be turning into a debate amongst a few posters as to who is more right and if that continues, we will close the thread.

Side note, it probably isn't necessary to continually thumb-upping those that agree with you. After a post or two, everyone knows where you stand on the matter

I have enjoyed reading everyone's opinion on this matter, and hope that we can continue to hear everyone's opinion.

I think it is often forgotten that opinions are not right or wrong, just different. Another thing that is often done on all boards is people project their choices onto other people. It person A allows their child to use electronics at the table and person B doesn't they can co-exist. Too often person A would try to project their choice onto person B and vice versa as opposed to both doing what they choose and coexisting.

It happens all the time and is just some people choosing to nanny other people as opposed to accepting that people will view situations different and as long as no one is breaking the law or the rules put forth by a private company it is ok to be different.

 

[hygienejean]

I wouldn't have any problem with a quiet child who was playing his DS. I think that thing can be a lifesaver!

 

[DW2010]

Four is a lot different than 11.

Yes, it is. To the person who said a 4 year old can be entertained with crayons, you've obviously never met my child. Ok, so my DD is not quite 3 1/2, but still. You really can't compare a 4 year old to an 11 year old.

Regardless, I personally don't see a big deal if the OP wants to let her son bring his DS since it does NOT concern MY family.

 

[DW2010]

Personally I think the OP really answered their own question.....

If you feel the need to ask, then you probably aren't comfortable with it to begin with and wouldn't really want it disturbing your meal, that is why they are asking.

I think this is a very personal choice, being selfish or being considerate. People either think because they are on vacation they can do anything they want because they are paying for and deserving of it.

The way I look at it is 2 ways.........

What I do still affects those around me, whether I like it or not. There is a lack of manners in this country now and people need to take responsibility for their actions and how it affects others.

Second, this situation is a perfect example of "keeping the child occupied" instead of teaching them proper behavior.
Another issue we have now a days. Through the child's life we give them what they want, don't let them get hurt or disappointed and never make them learn there are times for play and times that you need to sit and be patient.

Then when they become an adult they aren't sure what they should be doing.

If the child cannot do what is expected then he/she is not ready for the situation. So if your child needs stimulated/occupied instead of sitting patiently waiting for a meal and spending time talking with the family, then he or she needs to not go to that dinner and stay home and play games.

How do they learn if we dont' teach them?

Dinner is for eating and talking, spedning time with family and friends NOT play time.

I have to agree with this 100%!

 

[ChrislovesMinnie]

It would be absolutely fine! Ignore the first reply post about being disrespecful and such. It is about being a family, being together and having a special time. If it makes your child happy, do it. They will have a good time and so will you. Have a GREAT AND MAGICAL VACATION!!!

Chris and Ed

 

[Pixiedust34]

I'm in the camp that thinks dinner time = family time and not screen time. That said, I know that it's the norm for kids to be in front of a screen of some sort for a good part of their day now and that screentime is leaking into what used to be family time.

If you use the DS at the dinner table at home that's your business, but in public that glowing screen can be a distraction to those at a nearby table who are trying to enjoy a nice dinner. This is especially true if your dinner is in the evening and the room is a little dark.

If a 2 hour dinner isn't a viable option for your child, maybe take advantage of one of the Kid's Cubs on property or wait until the child is older and can sit OK without needing a screen for entertainment or pick a more kid-friendly place. JMHO.

 

[wdw71]

It would not bother me a bit. He is a child and you are at Disney World after all. Just keep the volume down and let him play away.

 

[Pooh Bear Hugs]

It is up to the parent. From my viewpoint it would make me feel like I had failed as a parent if my child could not sit and behave for the length of a meal. My children have eaten in many places from being toddlers.

 

[Pooh Bear Hugs]

The OP's son is 11

Sorry just read this, 11 and needing to be entertained rather than table manners. No way.

 

[Lehuaann]

Call us old-fashioned by even at Disney we keep up our table manners to show our children consistency & respect: no hats on the guys, pray over our food, no electronics used at table, and etc. We also want our children to understand that eating out in a restaurant is a privilege.

Is it tacky? For us, yes. Would it offend me to see a child playing a DS at another table? No.

 

[3floridarays]

We have decided that we WILL let DS carry his game with him, but he will only be allowed to use it once he has finished his meal - if he even wants to at that point.

As I stated previously, DS is perfectly capable of sitting through a long meal. He is very well-mannered, has taken an etiquette course, and enjoys adult conversation. But DH and I would like to linger over dessert and coffee. DS is allergic to dairy and has not been thrilled with the dairy-free desserts offered at WDW. So while DH and I are enjoying our desserts we will let DS quietly play his game IF he wants to.

Thanks to everyone who weighed in - both for and against. And I'm not taking the slights against my parenting skills personally since I know for a fact that DS is far better behaved that many (and maybe most) of the adults we see at WDW.

As for potential dirty looks - I'll be ignoring them.

 

[scojos]

We have decided that we WILL let DS carry his game with him, but he will only be allowed to use it once he has finished his meal - if he even wants to at that point.

As I stated previously, DS is perfectly capable of sitting through a long meal. He is very well-mannered, has taken an etiquette course, and enjoys adult conversation. But DH and I would like to linger over dessert and coffee. DS is allergic to dairy and has not been thrilled with the dairy-free desserts offered at WDW. So while DH and I are enjoying our desserts we will let DS quietly play his game IF he wants to.

Thanks to everyone who weighed in - both for and against. And I'm not taking the slights against my parenting skills personally since I know for a fact that DS is far better behaved that many (and maybe most) of the adults we see at WDW.


As for potential dirty looks - I'll be ignoring them.

thank you for starting an interesting debate - glad you have made the right decision for you and your ds. hope you all enjoy your meal
tracy
x

 

[speairson]

I have a 5 and 6 year old and personally wouldn't allow them to play their video games during dinner because I believe it's family time and they need to learn to behave and use good manners, etc. That's just me though, and I respect that others have different parenting styles and expectations of their kids. After all, vacation is a little different and more leniency is appropriate. If someone else's kid was quietly playing a video game at the table, it wouldn't bother me a bit. I have seen MUCH worse behavior by adults at restaurants.

 

[OceanAnnie]

thank you for starting an interesting debate - glad you have made the right decision for you and your ds. hope you all enjoy your meal
tracy
x

I second the above!

I think you have a good head on your shoulders and thick skin. It's a good (and rare) combination! Have a fabulous vacation!

 

[smidgy]

I have to say this and I do not mean it as a personal attack. I agree with PP, an 11 year old boy should be able to sit and enjoy a dinner out. He will not be able to bring a DS everywhere he goes for his whole life, he will have to learn how to sit and have a conversation. Why not teach this to him now. It drives me crazy to see older children with video games, earphones and Ipods in dining establishments. Put the device down and learn how to socially interact!
That said I don't really see the trouble with younger children (under 8) having a distraction, sitting that long can be tiresome at that age and be over the abilities of some children (though I have to say I have regularly dined out with children 4 and older and they have all made hour plus meals with no distractions other then crayons and conversation)

did not go through the whole threaad, but agrree with this!! un fortunately, ti's NOT just kids.. as a server, nowadays, even adults can't go through a whole dinner without talking on their cell phones, looking down at their phones to text, etc. etc.
a nice dinner out (esp, at a place like Calif. Grill) is for the experience of the dining)

It is SO rude to spend your time at a restaurant, staring at your phone., rather than conversing with your dinner companions.
however, if you choose to spend your whole time at a restaurant with people who are not there it is still extremely rude to the server.
as a server, I deal with this constantly. a table is not ready to order.you leave, bring apetizers to another table. a third table wants their drinks.. the first table says "we are ready to order" so you go to take their order. a cell phone rings. ok, you take the order of the other 3 people. but the 4th is on the phone. and talks,and talks. and looks at the server, like "can't you see I'm on the phone?" '
ok, I say, "i'll be back when you're ready".. and go to get the drinks for the third table. NO! don't leave. we are ready, injust a moment! so, you chit chat, waiting.
so, a backed up server is standing there, waiting for a patron to finish a conversation with someone who is not there, while other patrons are getting irritated with the server, who appears to be chit chatting, while you need a drink refill or you haven't got your salads yet.
but.. as soon as you say.. "I'll be right back to finish your order" someone at that table will saaay, "no, she'almost done"
cell phones are the worst things that ever happened to waitresses!!!! you can be in the middle
of taking an order from a person and she will answer her phone without blinking an eye, and expect you to stand there while she finishes her conversation!!!
am NOT exaagerrating! it has happened to me numerous times. and if you wlaad away to take care of another table, YOU are being rude.

 

[smidgy]

and, back to the original topic, an 11 year old should be learning how to sit at a dinner table, and converse with his dinner companions.

 

[smidgy]

3florida ways,
it sounds like your child is very well mannered and you raised him well. it sounds like you have taught him to use electronic devices properly. bless you. were that there were more parents (and adults) like you!

 

[J3nn78]

I would NEVER allow electronic devices at the table.

I think it is sad when I see families out to eat and members of the family are involved in other things (phones, games, etc...)

What ever happened to family conversation
Are people so addicted to their electronic devices they cannot even make it through a meal without it?

In OPs situation, I suggest
1. Kid sits through meal and converses with parents. 11 years is not too young to do that
2. Plan on a different/faster place to eat that engages all members of the family
Or
3. Make kids club/babysitting arrangements

 

[gogo]

did not go through the whole threaad, but agrree with this!! un fortunately, ti's NOT just kids.. as a server, nowadays, even adults can't go through a whole dinner without talking on their cell phones, looking down at their phones to text, etc. etc.
a nice dinner out (esp, at a place like Calif. Grill) is for the experience of the dining)

It is SO rude to spend your time at a restaurant, staring at your phone., rather than conversing with your dinner companions.
however, if you choose to spend your whole time at a restaurant with people who are not there it is still extremely rude to the server.
as a server, I deal with this constantly. a table is not ready to order.you leave, bring apetizers to another table. a third table wants their drinks.. the first table says "we are ready to order" so you go to take their order. a cell phone rings. ok, you take the order of the other 3 people. but the 4th is on the phone. and talks,and talks. and looks at the server, like "can't you see I'm on the phone?" '
ok, I say, "i'll be back when you're ready".. and go to get the drinks for the third table. NO! don't leave. we are ready, injust a moment! so, you chit chat, waiting.
so, a backed up server is standing there, waiting for a patron to finish a conversation with someone who is not there, while other patrons are getting irritated with the server, who appears to be chit chatting, while you need a drink refill or you haven't got your salads yet.
but.. as soon as you say.. "I'll be right back to finish your order" someone at that table will saaay, "no, she'almost done"
cell phones are the worst things that ever happened to waitresses!!!! you can be in the middle
of taking an order from a person and she will answer her phone without blinking an eye, and expect you to stand there while she finishes her conversation!!!
am NOT exaagerrating! it has happened to me numerous times. and if you wlaad away to take care of another table, YOU are being rude.

There are plenty of nice restaurants that do not allow cel phone use. Why not take up your complaint as a server to the management. Why should some people that need to make a quick call or receive a quick call be penalized for some that are rude (such as continueing to talk when the waitress is waiting) If you work in a place that allows electronic devices this is not really the customers fault.

I applaud the OP for thinking ahead and wanting to make sure her child and yes 11 is a child the last time I checked was going to enjoy his meal. I can't count how many times I've had to wait to order dessert, wait for the bill, etc. and ready to pull my hair out. There is so much rude behavior in public places that to compare a child playing a DS during a longer dinner is ridiculous. One of the most obnoxious behavior is the table where adults talk over each other and then the ones that laugh like hyenas (this is like fingernails on a chalk board).

There are many unforseen delays above and beyond the normal wait times at restaurants. It is great the OP is thinking ahead.