Would it be unforgivably tacky if...?

[itchin2go]

If the restaurant allows this (and I'm betting they do), it's up to you.

For what it's worth: (1) we took our then-5-year-old to dinner (without electronics) at CG and there were no problems, and (2) we have used the kids' clubs many times with GREAT success.

If the meal was a me-and-my-husband meal, I would book the kids' club for my daughter. More fun for her, more fun for us. Win-win.

 

[LeahA]

I am always amazed when a thread gets so many responses over something so mundane.

I say let your son take his DS with the earbuds and play while he's waiting for his food, and have him put it away when the food comes. I would rather have a child sit there quietly then be loud or disruptive to the other guest around them.

I would probably never notice a child playing one, unless I was right at the table next to them. I would notice more a loud, disruptive kid several tables away.

So, to the OP, do what's right for you, your always going to have some people who agree with you and some that don't, that's life.

 

[OceanAnnie]

If the restaurant allows this (and I'm betting they do), it's up to you.

For what it's worth: (1) we took our then-5-year-old to dinner (without electronics) at CG and there were no problems, and (2) we have used the kids' clubs many times with GREAT success.

If the meal was a me-and-my-husband meal, I would book the kids' club for my daughter. More fun for her, more fun for us. Win-win.

Me too, but there were crayons. I wonder if crayons are a no-no to some too? After all, it is meal/family time and children should learn how to behave. And should learning to behave be all the time? I don't think it should. What happens when they know how to behave and they need a break? I say if it makes the kids happy, break a few "family" rules sometimes and enjoy!

BTW, (to no one in particular) it can be a long dinner, at CG. When the dinner is completed and the mom and dad want to linger over coffee and dessert, while their child plays a game -- so what?! Electronics or crayons they are distractions, when a kid has had enough sometimes it's very nice to have.

I think it's win-win to have your child with you, enjoying a meal. A few minutes game play at the end does not throw the whole family dining experience out of the window.

 

[kecmouse]

Whenever my kids bring their d.s or ipod they usually don't need them at disney. We talk to them about what they saw, what was their favorite ride, what they want to do later in the day, how the food is, and watch out a window and enjoy. Disney has always something to keep you from getting completely bored. On that note I also think it's fine if your kid plays on the game system while eating dinner as long as he is not shouting over the headphones.

 

[Disneylvr]

I don't think your 11 y/o using his DS after a meal is tacky. I do think anyone staring at your table while judging your parenting skills is acting in a way that would be considered tacky, though.

FWIW, I'm a little concerned at how vehemently some are opposed. ALthough this posters child is neurotypical, my child, and 1/110 like her, are not. I promise you, kids with autism look like other kids, and are not immediately recognizeable as "disabled." Not to hijack the thread, but I wanted to clarify that across a restaurant, or anywhere else, it is impossible to tell. Therefore, I would ask a little tolerance.

Thank you Nicole! DD has autism and there have been situations where we have had to pull out the portable DVD or play Dora videos on my cell phone for her.... I use it only has a last resort when nothing else works and she is becoming loud and distruptive. She is only allowed to watch DVD's before the meal arrives (waiting is very difficult for her) or after she is finished. Thankfully we have never had to do this in WDW because we dine in restaurants that are family friendly and busy with activity (Chef Mickey's, Kona Cafe, Liberty Tree Tavern, Rainforest Cafe, T-Rex...). OP, don't worry about what other people in the restaurant may think. Do what is best for you and your family and the enjoyment of your vacation.

 

[Disneylvr]

We have decided that we WILL let DS carry his game with him, but he will only be allowed to use it once he has finished his meal - if he even wants to at that point.

As I stated previously, DS is perfectly capable of sitting through a long meal. He is very well-mannered, has taken an etiquette course, and enjoys adult conversation. But DH and I would like to linger over dessert and coffee. DS is allergic to dairy and has not been thrilled with the dairy-free desserts offered at WDW. So while DH and I are enjoying our desserts we will let DS quietly play his game IF he wants to.

Thanks to everyone who weighed in - both for and against. And I'm not taking the slights against my parenting skills personally since I know for a fact that DS is far better behaved that many (and maybe most) of the adults we see at WDW.

As for potential dirty looks - I'll be ignoring them.

 

[buzzrelly]

I do NOT understand what the big deal is here...he is an 11 year old CHILD, for pete's sake. And children are not now, nor have they ever been small adults...they are still children. A 2 to 3 hour dinner would not be that interesting to a child, not even a very well behaved one. Why torture him by making him "sit and talk," or "look out the window" the whole time? Why not let everyone just enjoy themselves, even if that means (GASP!) he plays his DS quietly while his parents have a nice, long dinner! Get over it people.

 

[Ilovemyprincesses]

I am all for keeping little kids quiet in a restaurant but at 11 your son is old enough to not need it.

 

[Yoshi]

I see nothing wrong with bringing a DS to the meal, I see kids at restaurants with them all the time.

 

[MidgeD79]

I would bring it.

 

[taximomfor4]

I won't get into the whole debate, although I did just read the entire thread. I choose to just answer the original question, as asked in the OP.

Do I think it's tacky? Yes.
Unforgivably tacky? No.

But if I were eating at CG at the same time, I can't imagine I would even notice, unless he was also trying to be involved in the conversation (People wearing earbuds seem to always shout).

 

[3"Mouse"keteers]

Personally I look at that in the same terms of cell phone usage at tables or in theatres.

UNCOOTH AND DISRESPECTFUL.

Sorry. I vote no.

How is it any different from bringing coloring books and crayons in to try to keep your child busy? Most restaurants even provide those! And at least with a DS you don't have to worry about crayons flying everywhere. I would much prefer to see a child sitting quietly playing a DS than running around the table and being disruptive. Just my opinion though...

 

[goodfood4ursoul]

How is it any different from bringing coloring books and crayons in to try to keep your child busy? Most restaurants even provide those! And at least with a DS you don't have to worry about crayons flying everywhere. I would much prefer to see a child sitting quietly playing a DS than running around the table and being disruptive. Just my opinion though...

I'm imagining that scenario at California Grill
I know I would rather a quiet child with a game boy that THAT!

DH and I dined there for our 20th anniversary and had a lovely encounter with a very polite young lady, age 9, who was waiting with her family for their table while we lingered over our desserts. We had a table right at the window, and she was simply a delight: well spoken and mannerly. We ended up giving her a handful of our table confetti so she could share some of our magic that night.

I would definitely have taken our son to CG at age 11, but not with any gadgets. At 11 we were at WDW with him and never had an issue with negative bahavior at any restaurant.
As numerous posters said, dinner time is family time.
In fact WDW was his first experience with finer dining, which our entire family enjoyed.
Since he was such a good dinner companion, his grandmother opted to take him on two European cruises over the years, and never did he need an ipod or game boy (doesn't even own one) at a meal.(Yes, he is totally "all BOY"-burps & sctraches at home just like the rest of them, but he has learned that there are benefits to moving in polite society)
Now at age 16, he has met and politely conversed with people from all over the world, learned to appreciate diverse cultures and cuisines, and I never really thought about it until today, but it all began at dinners at WDW.

That is one of the joys of finer dining, practicing etiquette and enjoying the company of those you love. At CG it is pricey, and I think, if I were in this situation with a child whose temperment was not conducive to fine dining at this age, I would find alternate arrangements such as resort kids' clubs (as other posters suggested) and enjoy my Cali Grill experience to the fullest!

Also remember that one can hold out a special restaurant as a "carrot" in the future- "When you are older and can be patient and really appreciate an expensive dinner, we will take you to ____________!"

 

[Pooh Bear Hugs]

I do NOT understand what the big deal is here...he is an 11 year old CHILD, for pete's sake. And children are not now, nor have they ever been small adults...they are still children. A 2 to 3 hour dinner would not be that interesting to a child, not even a very well behaved one. Why torture him by making him "sit and talk," or "look out the window" the whole time? Why not let everyone just enjoy themselves, even if that means (GASP!) he plays his DS quietly while his parents have a nice, long dinner! Get over it people.

Should we also have bypass lines as queueing would be unfair on them. Also shut all the schools as children can not be forced to nehave like other members of socirty. Get a grip yes please do an 11 year old should be able to behave properly at a table. What next lets bring the Tv.

 

[MYD714]

It comes down to doing what is best for your family. Only you can make that decision. I'm sure other people won't even notice.

The only thing I don't understand is the need for a 2-3 hour meal on a family vacation. If I knew my child would be horribly bored in advance, I would probably switch my ADR to something fit for everyone in my party. I get that it's for a romantic anniversary dinner. I get that it's just as much a vacation for parents as it is for the kids. I just think I'd have to make the decision--romantic meal for two, or meaningful meal for three. I'd make it a family celebration in a restaurant that suited everyone's needs, rather than a meal that obviously is more focused for two. After all, when celebrating your anniversary, aren't you also celebrating the family that resulted from your years together?

In the end, each family needs to make the decision that fits them best. My personal view--I wouldn't let the DS out of the hotel room.

 

[MrsLS]

wow I saw this post the other day and didn't respond but now its up to 12 pages - over a small topic - wow
We are 2 adults, no kids, and I say bring the DS, & that is what you are going to do I read above. There is no need to justify & to the parents that say they would never bring it because they wouldn't allow it, or their kid is perfect & it sounds like they think you are a bad parent because you do (this isn't directed to anyone in particular). I've seen it done before not at Disney but then again I'm not really concerned about other diners at a restaurant & it doesn't bother us & shouldn't bother anyone if another family has allowed it.

 

[Missytara]

I see nothing wrong with bringing a DS to the meal, I see kids at restaurants with them all the time.

I see families at restaurants all the time, with the parents talking endlessly on the phone while ignoring their children. I see couples doing the same thing. I see children ignoring their parents, while playing on gameboys or listening to ipods.

Is it done all the time? Yes.

Does that automatically make it right? No.

We have just had to accept it, because so many people are doing it now. It pains me to see families sit at a meal in a restaurant, basically ignoring each other.

I remember the days when I was 11 years old and once a month, my mom, dad, and I got all dressed up and went to a really nice restaurant to eat out. We would often be there for at least an hour-and-a-half.

That was back in 1971. No I-pods, No game boys, no cell phones, etc. Just the three of us enjoying each other's company..... try it sometime - you might enjoy it!

 

[buzzrelly]

Should we also have bypass lines as queueing would be unfair on them. Also shut all the schools as children can not be forced to nehave like other members of socirty. Get a grip yes please do an 11 year old should be able to behave properly at a table. What next lets bring the Tv.

Honestly, I don't understand you since your sentences are so poorly constructed. But who's to say that playing his DS at the table is NOT behaving properly? Each family has the right to make these decisions for their own family and people need to not judge and condemn them, especially if their child IS well behaved. BTW, my own children are very well behaved, they attend parochial school, earn good grades, are respectful to their teachers and other adults, attend church regularly and have also played their DS in public. Well behaved children and children that play their DS at a long boring dinner are absolutely NOT mutually exclusive.

 

[walt's assistant]

Yeah, let DS take his DS. Long dinners at a place like CG is a lot to ask of many kids, mine included. It's not a big deal, in our opinion.

 

[TinkerBelle_325]

I saw this thread a few days ago and now seeing that it has developed into a longer discussion I thought I would chime in.

I see that the OP has made a decision and I think that if it suits her family that is great.

However, she did phrase the question to gather opinions.

I do feel that it is unforgivably tacky to let a pre-teen use an electronic device at the dinner table.

A PP stated that lots of adults, couples, children etc use electronic devices at tables in restaurants, so therefore it is a common practice but not necessarily a proper practice.

Oh god now I'm going to feel old....when I was a child (honestly it wasn't that long ago LOL, I'm 24)...it was not accepted to play with GameBoys during dinner.

Sure, I was allowed to colour with crayons...until I was 5. From then on my parents taught me about carrying on a proper conversation, enjoying the experience of dining, taking in my surroundings etc.

CG isn't exactly a boring place. You could request seats at the sushi bar and watch Yoshie work her magic, you could request a table near the open kitchen and see the flames rise and the chefs in action. You can request a table near the window and see the sunset, the electrical water pagent, wishes, the castle changing colours, the astro orbiter spin, the boats on Seven Seas Lagoon. There is plenty going on to stimulate when conversation has been exhausted.

I am an iPhone addict. I LOVE it and use it constantly. I take pictures in the parks and post them live to my blog etc. But at dinner, it sits in my purse because it is rude to use it at the table.

The only electronic device I have at my dinner table is my camera. I write dining reviews, so throughout the evening I take pictures of the food. This actually *creates* conversation as I ask those I am dining with what they think of their meal. However, I never use a flash as it could distrupt patrons at the next table.

At Victoria & Albert's all cell phones are banned. You are not allowed to have them on the table because it can be disruptive and could ruin another diner's evening.

When the OP first posed the question it brought to mind an episode of Two and a Half Men. Jake has a DS like device with him throughout an entire episode, he even brings it to a funeral, and it ends up in the casket to me this was a commentary on how the use of electronic devices is getting to be too accepted - and that is coming from someone who grew up in the tech era where new gadgets were (and still are) an obsession.

OP, I am glad you made a decision that you feel is best, but as you phrased your question in such a way as to gather opinions, I will say that I would not do it myself and that I do feel it is tacky.