Work Retreat Cruise - Don't Want to Go!

[RedAngie]

How did you obtain a marriage license without a birth certificate?

And can someone even get a job without a birth certificate? I suppose it's possible, but don't employers require at least two forms of ID?

 

[TheIncredibles!]

And can someone even get a job without a birth certificate? I suppose it's possible, but don't employers require at least two forms of ID?

The I-9 is what requires ID and although you can provide your birth certificate it's not necessary, you would have to provide something else from that list which can be your SS card.

 

[sam_gordon]

If the itinerary required a passport, of course the company should pay for it. Even on this particular cruise, while not required but recommended in case of unforeseen circumstances, I believe the company should still pay.

I disagree with the bolded. IMO, $150 is a small price to pay for an employee to go on 10 cruises, and that's IF they want a passport. How many thousands of people cruise every year and the passport isn't needed? Especially with a 5 day cruise, I'm guessing they'd have no more than 2 days when they could even fly back home.

And can someone even get a job without a birth certificate? I suppose it's possible, but don't employers require at least two forms of ID?

We require DL & ONE of the following: Birth Cert, Social Security Card, or passport.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

I don't know about their state, but I do know one doesn't need one in my state. There are probably others like it. All you need is an ID card and to be 16. And if your local judge decides that someone under 16 is old enough, well he can issue an order for your marriage to be allowed.

We didn't need one to get married.

And my husband doesn't have a copy of his. But he has never needed it for a job.

 

[QueenIsabella]

Sorry, OP, I'm also in the "suck it up and deal" camp.

It's very, very common to have to travel on business, sometimes for several days. Frequently, you have to go to a place (and do things) you'd rather not be doing. Training classes for my DH are typically a full week, and he's had to go to conventions in odd places for a week at a time, as well. There are perks at times--nice meals, swag, etc., but he'd rather be home. But, we all just have to put up with the inconvenience--and by "we", I mean, not only DH and I, but our 4 kids. Honestly, I don't understand why you're making such a big deal about this--he knew this was highly likely when he interviewed. You had a rough time frame given, and chose to schedule other vacation stuff during a similar time. Nothing wrong with that, but you did it with full disclosure.

So, for this year--have him try the cruise, without you. He might have a decent time. If nothing else, he should decide what he likes and doesn't like, so you two can plan better next year (paying extra for a single, plan your vacation time better, and so forth).

 

[sk!mom]

DH and I also don't care for cruises and don't really enjoy more than 2 or 3 days apart.

Given all of that, if my DH felt it was expected and important to his job then we would put on our big boy/girl pants and he would go with me or without me. In the coming years, your DH will have a better idea of whether or not passing on the trip is detrimental. I would fear that it would be since networks and relationships will be built on this trip. I wouldn't want a newbie to miss out.

If I absolutely couldn't go (and as a teacher it would have to be a dream location for me to miss 5 days of school), then we would definitely pay for DH to have a private cabin. One day would be too long for him to share with anyone other than immediate family so five days is completely out of the question.

If budget is a concern, then don't spend on alcohol and extras. Updating passports wouldn't factor in for me because we keep ours up to date. We paid for DD20 to update hers at 18 and it won't be used until next Summer.

As far as what I think about it in general, I think it is generous and awesome. It sounds like a fun place to work.

 

[bcla]

And can someone even get a job without a birth certificate? I suppose it's possible, but don't employers require at least two forms of ID?

A passport or passport card is sufficient for the I-9. So is a driver license plus SSN card. A lot of the acceptable work authorization documents can be obtained early in life and be indefinitely renewed. However, the "foundation" documents could be lost, while the documents obtained using them are continually renewed.

I've never needed my birth certificate for anything in my adult life. I obtained other documents before adulthood and those have always been sufficient for any proof of identity/status.

 

[bcla]

I disagree with the bolded. IMO, $150 is a small price to pay for an employee to go on 10 cruises, and that's IF they want a passport. How many thousands of people cruise every year and the passport isn't needed? Especially with a 5 day cruise, I'm guessing they'd have no more than 2 days when they could even fly back home.

We require DL & ONE of the following: Birth Cert, Social Security Card, or passport.

You require more than the I-9 requirement? Doesn't make sense unless driving is a job requirement. It's illegal to require any specific document to determine employment eligibility.

Some employers will even pay for passports if one is on company business. I was talking about my wife needing one ASAP, and our admin said she often made arrangements with an expediting service when an employee has to travel on short notice.

 

[Disney Doll]

OP, hubby should go. Pay extra for pvt room.

If you can swing it from work then go. If not, he still should. These are important work/networking events.

 

[anniemae]

It does not matter that he does not like to cruise, does not want to be away from you, does not want to share a room etc. He knew of this retreat when he was hired. He really has to go. I would not make up excuses like, "he gets sea sick." He will be frowned upon big time if he skips this, and believe me, they will see through any lame made up excuse. If I were you, I would not go due to work obligations as well as having the time off in Oct. I would have him pay for the single room if he is uncomfortable sharing with a coworker.

He has time to get a passport, and I would suggest he does, even though he does not technically need it for this trip.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

We have a bit of dilemma with my DH's job regarding a trip his employer is 'treating' the employees to, and I wanted to see what opinions and insight other have on the situation. Sorry for the length, please bear with me!

My DH started a new job in April and it's been a great fit for the most part. He was told when he started that the company does a retreat for the employees once a year, usually a cruise. They work for one day and are free for the rest of the trip. Significant others and children are welcome to come. The company pays for the employees. Anyone else coming along has to be paid for by the employee. Initially, this all sounded wonderful. DH told me they were looking at dates in October or November for the trip this year. The company finally announces in mid-August that they will be doing a five night cruise starting the Monday after Thanksgiving.

My first thought was that five nights seems bit long to cruise with your co-workers. Also a long time for people to be away from their families. With only 3 months notice, some people may not be able to get a whole week of, right after Thanksgiving.

DH and I have a trip to Disney scheduled for Saturday October 22 - Tuesday October 25. On the 25th, my best friend is flying in to Tampa from Arizona. DH will be going home that day, and I will be going to Tampa to pick up my friend and have a girls trip until that Friday the 28th.

I work in the banking industry and federal regulations require people in 'sensitive' positions to take five consecutive business days off per year. So October 24-28 has already been approved for my five days off at work.

DH and I don't really like the idea of cruises. We are not excited about going on one. (Of course, if it was a Disney cruise I would be more open to it!)

This is going to sound silly, but DH and I have never been apart for more than four days since we met, and that was only one time. DH needs me on this work cruise so he doesn't go insane, get too bored, or annoyed. I want to go and support him. But I don't have enough vacation time to take another five days off work.

In addition, my company specifically requests everyone take their five days before November since the holidays are busy in banking.

To add to all these issues, this cruise goes to the Bahamas and neither I nor DH have active passports. Mine is expired and will be $110 to renew. DH does not have his expired passport, which means he will have to apply 'from scratch',and that includes submitting a certified copy of his birth certificate. Well, we don't have DH's birth certificate, and neither do his parents. In order to get a copy, it's $40. But we have to pay $60 in order to get the certificate in time to submit and receive the passport before the cruise. The passport application for DH is $150.

DH's company is rooming single travelers together to cut down on cabin cost. DH is really dreading this. He is a solitary person who needs peace and quiet to function and recharge.

If on the outside chance I can go on the cruise, the cost of this 'gift' trip will be more than $755 total.
$435 for my cruise fare
$110 for my passport
$150 DH's passport
$60 DH's birth certificate
Money for gas to drive to the cruise port (several hours away).

Plus, if we ever want soda, alcohol, or anything not included in the cruise fare, that is an additional charge.

The point of all this is that I am feeling somewhat angry and resentful that DH's company expects their employees to be able to be away from their families for 6 days, has active passports or the budget to get them, and that anyone really wants to be with their employer and co-workers for almost a week. When DH first told me about this retreat, I was envisioning a two, maybe three night deal. But five nights!?!?!? Come on!If I cannot go, then DH wants to pay the $435 so he can have a cabin to himself. DH feels the trip is mandatory. I don't think it was phrased that way, but all employees are expected to go. I keep asking him if we can come up with some reason he can't go - serious sea sickness?

We can't cancel the October trip - we have non-refundable Food and Wine events booked, and my best friend has a plane ticket booked!

Am I being unreasonable in my anger and annoyance about this whole situation? I don't want to devastate DH if I am unable to go. I don't want to spend so much money on something neither of us wants to do!!!

Yes you are VERY VERY VERY unreasonable.

Let your dh pay for a single cabin if possible, give him a hug, tell him he will have fun.

 

[Skywalker]

I think it sounds like an awesome, generous perk to treat your employees to a yearly cruise (with only one day work related and the rest your own free vacation...and you can bring family) you were even told it would be October or November so no surprises there, and yet here is the new person's wife "angry and resentful" about it. I don't get it. I never thought I'd have to say this to someone but your husband should "suck it up and go on the cruise" (now I know what people mean by first world problems). As for OP, if you don't want to go then don't go..you're not really needed on a business trip. You had your girls trip and maybe it would do your husband some good to get some time away from you too.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

He was told when he started that the company does a retreat for the employees once a year, usually a cruise. They work for one day and are free for the rest of the trip.

Significant others and children are welcome to come. The company pays for the employees. Anyone else coming along has to be paid for by the employee. Initially, this all sounded wonderful.

My first thought was that five nights seems bit long to cruise with your co-workers. Also a long time for people to be away from their families.

I will be going to Tampa to pick up my friend and have a girls trip until that Friday the 28th.

I am feeling somewhat angry and resentful that DH's company expects their employees to be able to be away from their families for 6 days,

my best friend has a plane ticket booked!

I don't want to spend so much money on something neither of us wants to do!!!

The above excerpts in bold say it all.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

I'll just chime in with my two cents worth:

My husband has been on 2 work-related trips. One time I invited myself along, the other time he went alone.

Even on the one I went "with" him, we didn't see each other all that much due to his training schedule, but we did have dinner together each night.

My opinion - if you don't want to go, don't go. If you will be devastated by "being apart for that long" I'd suggest going. You're both adults, right? You don't have to do everything together.

 

[Coonhound]

This is not vacation for him. This is work, this is his job, there is an expectation for employees and as he is new it would not be a wise move on his part to try to get out of it. Your participation is optional. If he really doesn't want to share a room I understand that but he will have to pay for the other half of his room, but, him paying the other half of his room will be cheaper than the expense of bringing you along.
Also, why is it that he can leave you alone to take a girl trip, but you cannot leave him alone to take a work trip??

 

[sonnyjane]

If I were your DH, I'd absolutely pay the extra to have a room to myself, however, unless there was a co-worker I really got along with.

 

[Belle0101]

We have a bit of dilemma with my DH's job regarding a trip his employer is 'treating' the employees to, and I wanted to see what opinions and insight other have on the situation. Sorry for the length, please bear with me!

My DH started a new job in April and it's been a great fit for the most part. He was told when he started that the company does a retreat for the employees once a year, usually a cruise. They work for one day and are free for the rest of the trip. Significant others and children are welcome to come. The company pays for the employees. Anyone else coming along has to be paid for by the employee. Initially, this all sounded wonderful. DH told me they were looking at dates in October or November for the trip this year. The company finally announces in mid-August that they will be doing a five night cruise starting the Monday after Thanksgiving.

My first thought was that five nights seems bit long to cruise with your co-workers. Also a long time for people to be away from their families. With only 3 months notice, some people may not be able to get a whole week of, right after Thanksgiving.

DH and I have a trip to Disney scheduled for Saturday October 22 - Tuesday October 25. On the 25th, my best friend is flying in to Tampa from Arizona. DH will be going home that day, and I will be going to Tampa to pick up my friend and have a girls trip until that Friday the 28th.

I work in the banking industry and federal regulations require people in 'sensitive' positions to take five consecutive business days off per year. So October 24-28 has already been approved for my five days off at work.

DH and I don't really like the idea of cruises. We are not excited about going on one. (Of course, if it was a Disney cruise I would be more open to it!)

This is going to sound silly, but DH and I have never been apart for more than four days since we met, and that was only one time. DH needs me on this work cruise so he doesn't go insane, get too bored, or annoyed. I want to go and support him. But I don't have enough vacation time to take another five days off work.

In addition, my company specifically requests everyone take their five days before November since the holidays are busy in banking.

To add to all these issues, this cruise goes to the Bahamas and neither I nor DH have active passports. Mine is expired and will be $110 to renew. DH does not have his expired passport, which means he will have to apply 'from scratch',and that includes submitting a certified copy of his birth certificate. Well, we don't have DH's birth certificate, and neither do his parents. In order to get a copy, it's $40. But we have to pay $60 in order to get the certificate in time to submit and receive the passport before the cruise. The passport application for DH is $150.

DH's company is rooming single travelers together to cut down on cabin cost. DH is really dreading this. He is a solitary person who needs peace and quiet to function and recharge.

If on the outside chance I can go on the cruise, the cost of this 'gift' trip will be more than $755 total.
$435 for my cruise fare
$110 for my passport
$150 DH's passport
$60 DH's birth certificate
Money for gas to drive to the cruise port (several hours away).

Plus, if we ever want soda, alcohol, or anything not included in the cruise fare, that is an additional charge.

The point of all this is that I am feeling somewhat angry and resentful that DH's company expects their employees to be able to be away from their families for 6 days, has active passports or the budget to get them, and that anyone really wants to be with their employer and co-workers for almost a week. When DH first told me about this retreat, I was envisioning a two, maybe three night deal. But five nights!?!?!? Come on!If I cannot go, then DH wants to pay the $435 so he can have a cabin to himself. DH feels the trip is mandatory. I don't think it was phrased that way, but all employees are expected to go. I keep asking him if we can come up with some reason he can't go - serious sea sickness?

We can't cancel the October trip - we have non-refundable Food and Wine events booked, and my best friend has a plane ticket booked!

Am I being unreasonable in my anger and annoyance about this whole situation? I don't want to devastate DH if I am unable to go. I don't want to spend so much money on something neither of us wants to do!!!

To the bolded, could he take a novel to read, a book of crossword puzzles, or whatever else he enjoys doing that would be easy to pack that he could do in his free time? Otherwise, have him look into whatever activities the ship if offering. I've never been on a cruise, I'd like to someday, but from what I've read there's nearly always something to do.

 

[tinatark]

What cruise line/ship? What itinerary? LOL - those were my first thoughts - if you can't go - then I would get the certified copy of his bc - we have passports and cruise at least once a year - and have NEVER needed them. He should be able to pay a single supplement fare to get a cabin without a roommate - should be the rate if you were going, minus port charges (usually around $100).

I would check out the ship/ports and see if it is something you might like - and really, on most ships, you wouldn't run into the co-workers as often as you might think.

There's a cruise critic post out there about someone who didn't get back on the ship at the Bahamas - and didn't have a passport. I think he went to the US Embassy the next morning, got an expedited passport, flew to the US then to wherever the next port was. Not the end of the world, as many would have you think. Plus, the one time you may need a passport - when you're in port - your passport would typically be locked in your safe, in your room on the ship!

 

[cords]

Where does your husband work and are they hiring?

 

[LiveYourLife]

I would totally be like if my husband had a five day work trip! Spa, mall, sleeping in.....SIGN ME THE HECK UP!!!!