Work Retreat Cruise - Don't Want to Go!

[sk!mom]

(now I know what people mean by first world problems).

Perfect response! Wish I'd said it.

 

[bcla]

The I-9 is what requires ID and although you can provide your birth certificate it's not necessary, you would have to provide something else from that list which can be your SS card.

They have the A/B/C list, where one item from the A list is sufficient, or one each from the B/C lists. I do find it odd that "Native American Tribal Document" is on both B and C. And it's illegal for an employer to deny employment based on the type of document provided or to insist on any specific documents. I didn't see naturalization certificate or certificate of citizenship listed, but apparently that's covered at list C, entry 8. That's got to be confusing though for anyone verifying this.

 

[Jaya]

[QUOTE="cbg1027, post: 56470626, member: 249499" DH needs me on this work cruise so he doesn't go insane, get too bored, or annoyed. I want to go and support him. the trip is mandatory. I don't think it was phrased that way, but all employees are expected to go. I keep asking him if we can come up with some reason he can't go - serious sea sickness?

I don't want to devastate DH if I am unable to go. I don't want to spend so much money on something neither of us wants to do!!![/QUOTE]

Well, your husband could go to his boss and explain that he really doesn't want to go on the trip because he might get seasick, insane, bored or annoyed without his wife, who doesn't want him to go. I'm sure any boss would be completely understanding about the matter. And when next year's trip rolls around, there should be no problem at all because he would have been laid off by then. Easy peasy solution.

 

[katie111]

This is such a strange question to me. We live near a major city with a highly educated population. Almost everyone I know has a college degree and most have an MBA as well. I can't think of a single friend (male or female) whose spouse works full time and does not have to travel several times per year for their job. Training sessions, conferences, reward trips, etc are all considered part of their normal jobs. No one thinks twice when someone says their spouse is out of town for several days or longer on a business trip. It's just the norm. My husband is in sales and has done trips to Morocco, Hawaii, Ireland, Costa Rica, and many of the US states. I haven't gone on any of them because I stay home to care for our 3 kids. It's too expensive to bring all of us on these work trips so we just spend our vacation money elsewhere. And many of them are just for the employees not for their families. I've been home for week or two at a time with 3 kids under 5 while my DH travels. Not really a big deal.

5 days by yourself is not a big deal. Wait till you have a few kiddos running around and he has to travel. All you have to do is go to work for the week, maybe make some plans with friends, and he''ll be home in no time at all. Do you have hobbies, friends, activities, that you enjoy doing without your spouse? And I can't believe you actually counted the number of hours you will be gone vs the number of hours you husband will be gone. Sounds like you both might be a little too co-dependent on each other. What will your husband do when you are having your girls vacation?

My DH and I love each other & really enjoy spending time together. However, work is work. They gave you the timeframe for the cruise and you chose to ignore it when you made your Disney plans. What if the cruise was DURING your Disney trip? He HAS to go. There is no other choice. He must be making decent money if the company can afford to take them all on a cruise so I don't think $40 is going to break the bank to get his birth certificate.

 

[runwad]

Wait, what? How long have you been married??? I tell ya after 25 years, I wish my DH's employer would send him away for 5 days.

 

[E&Cmom]

ETA: Hey congratulate me - today is our Anniversary! We've been married 183,960 hours (you do the math)!

Congrats! It is my anniversay as well. But I have been married 131, 400 hours ( 6 years less than you. Lol)

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

Wait, what? How long have you been married??? I tell ya after 25 years, I wish my DH's employer would send him away for 5 days.

We won't be at 25 until after Thanksgiving, but I hate when my husband has to travel. But everyone is different.

I get that the OP doesn't want her husband to travel, but she also knew that traveling was part of the job. Like the OP, I'm not happy when my husband travels, but sometimes it is part of his job. I am lucky now. He doesn't travel overnight very often.

 

[ronandannette]

Congrats! It is my anniversay as well. But I have been married 131, 400 hours ( 6 years less than you. Lol)

Congratulations to you too - if anything is worth celebrating, it's an Anniversary!!

And FWIW, I though the OP's post was sort of cute; alas, although we are very happily married, I can't honestly say I count the hours without him anymore.

 

[PollyannaMom]

OP, everyone has a right to their own likes and dislikes, so I get it that you don't want to spend a lot of money on a cruise if you're sure you wouldn't enjoy it. If that's the case, I would just consider it a business trip and let your DH go without you. It probably seems strange to be apart if you haven't before, but it does get easier. (My DH travels anywhere from 1-2 weeks a couple of times a year. - I miss him...but I also let the housework go, and order take-out that's not on his diet!)

If this, as you said, just isn't something you'd spend money on, though, I wouldn't pay extra for a private room either. As far as I know, rooms on ships are not designed as "living space" - he'll sleep there, but spend most of his time elsewhere on the ship, so he won't have to be social with his roommate all the time.

I also get that forced recreation is not everyone's cup of tea. (Depending on the extent, it might even be a reason for me not to choose a particular job.) But, he knew it was included and did take the job, so it's "look on the bright side" time. He may find it is a great chance to meet more of his coworkers. (People are a lot more likely to go out of their way for someone they actually know than someone they've only "spoken" to in an e-mail.) And if you go, you may find you are pleasantly surprised by the amount of options to suit different personalities.

If I was in your position, and could swing the money, I would probably at least ask for the time off. - Maybe you will get it, and you'll actually have fun.

I think if you go this time, and don't like it, you won't feel so bad about sending your DH alone next time, but if you don't go, and he ends up having a great time, you'll feel like you missed out.

 

[TLSnell1981]

Yup. Suck it up buttercup.

Sums it up quite nicely!

 

[DLgal]

Somebody doesn't trust her husband...

 

[SMD]

I disagree with the bolded. IMO, $150 is a small price to pay for an employee to go on 10 cruises, and that's IF they want a passport. How many thousands of people cruise every year and the passport isn't needed? Especially with a 5 day cruise, I'm guessing they'd have no more than 2 days when they could even fly back home.

We require DL & ONE of the following: Birth Cert, Social Security Card, or passport.

It's still the unlikely scenarios which are why you want it. For example, what if the ship gets stuck or delayed in a port? I still think it is the employee's responsibility to have a passport. Some employers might pay, but they could just as easily require it. Employers can aso require employees to provide their own tools as a condition of employment.

As far as I-9 documents, you have to prove citizenship (or permission to work) and identity. A passport does both, so no driver's license required in addition to a passport if that's your chosen document.

 

[Nancyg56]

Honestly-after the ONE day of work-are all the "single" travelers supposes to "hang " with their roommates?
I would DREAD doing this as a single...and I doubt MY DH would have done it-he HATES cruises
Is there ANY way for him NOT to go?

The time to have this discussion would have been when the job was offered to him. The only thing the DH will gain by making an excuse to stay home is the reputation that he is not a team player, that he is not trustworthy, and that he needs to be replaced. Which would likely happen because most of his colleagues would not go out of their way to support him in many projects.

The one day of work is to avoid having the trip expense added to his income, which would be taxable. I am afraid that any employee who does not see that the company has found a way to gift them with a close to all expense paid vacation may be seen as not too smart by the management.

QFT. I used to love when my husband (now ex, so that should tell you something) traveled on business. It's not that I hated him, but I loved having the house to myself sometimes. Eat what I want, when I want, treat myself to an at-home spa session...

LOL! After almost 37 years together I would give just about anything for DH to take a vacation without me! I am considerate and gift my DH with an empty house while I take one for the team and haul my thoughtful self on vacation. Usually Disney, because if I have to sacrifice, I figure why not Disney! LOL!
My DH, on the other hand has only been away without me twice, and that was because he was in the hospital. No vacation for me or him. I'd take a weekend!

I would totally be like if my husband had a five day work trip! Spa, mall, sleeping in.....SIGN ME THE HECK UP!!!!

I know!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shoot, after Buddy's recovery my son and his wife took him to a race out of State. They planned extra time for the ride because he had to walk a bit for his legs. I admit I was ecstatic!!! Hours to myself!!!!!! OL! They were home before 10! Short race..... LOL! Can't win!

 

[Nancyg56]

OP- count your Blessings. Your husband was hired and has the opportunity to take you along on a company paid vacation. You can make this uncomfortable for him or you can adjust your attitude and either send him without a pout or cancel your girls trip and go with him.

 

[PopSugar]

OP-I wish you would come back tell us WHAT this company DOES??????
I can not imagine ANY company being able to SHUT DOWN for a week!!!

I still say Thumbs Down...my hubby would not like this-so I guess he would not have taken the job

 

[sam_gordon]

OP-I wish you would come back tell us WHAT this company DOES??????
I can not imagine ANY company being able to SHUT DOWN for a week!!!

I still say Thumbs Down...my hubby would not like this-so I guess he would not have taken the job

My company occasionally sends folks on a cruise, but it's only members of the sales staff and only those that have hit a certain benchmark. It's possible the company in the OP is only taking a segment of employees, not everyone.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

Somebody doesn't trust her husband...

I really wish people would get off of the idea that everyone would just love for their husband to go away for a trip.

And if they don't just love the idea, then they obviously haven't been married long or they don't trust him.

Some couples actually like spending time together, and miss each other when one travels. Some couples look forward to retirement because that means that one or both of them won't be leaving every day for work. They look forward to all of the time that they can spend together.

Now, I agree that they OP needs to suck it up or put on her big girl panties and deal with it. This is part of her husband's job and they knew this was part of it from the beginning.

But it is getting tiresome reading about how only newly weds like spending time together or as you put it, somehow they don't trust each other.

 

[PopSugar]

I really wish people would get off of the idea that everyone would just love for their husband to go away for a trip.


But it is getting tiresome reading about how only newly weds like spending time together or as you put it, somehow they don't trust each other.

agree COMPLETELYY!

 

[RedAngie]

My company occasionally sends folks on a cruise, but it's only members of the sales staff and only those that have hit a certain benchmark. It's possible the company in the OP is only taking a segment of employees, not everyone.

Very possible. My company does the same. The entire company never goes all at once. Its broken down into several sessions spaced a month or so apart.

 

[CarolAnn856]

I really wish people would get off of the idea that everyone would just love for their husband to go away for a trip.

And if they don't just love the idea, then they obviously haven't been married long or they don't trust him.

Some couples actually like spending time together, and miss each other when one travels. Some couples look forward to retirement because that means that one or both of them won't be leaving every day for work. They look forward to all of the time that they can spend together.

Now, I agree that they OP needs to suck it up or put on her big girl panties and deal with it. This is part of her husband's job and they knew this was part of it from the beginning.

But it is getting tiresome reading about how only newly weds like spending time together or as you put it, somehow they don't trust each other.

My impression of why people assumed she is young is due to her attitude, from her shock that this kind of travel happens to the idea that faking sea-sickness to get out of it would be a good idea. It's the immaturity displayed in her posts, not the idea that she is a newlywed.

Whether people dislike being apart once in a while or not is irrelevant. Even if you can't enjoy your time as much without your spouse, most people are capable of handling time apart.