Work Retreat Cruise - Don't Want to Go!

[Missy1961]

My impression of why people assumed she is young is due to her attitude, from her shock that this kind of travel happens to the idea that faking sea-sickness to get out of it would be a good idea. It's the immaturity displayed in her posts, not the idea that she is a newlywed.

Whether people dislike being apart once in a while or not is irrelevant. Even if you can't enjoy your time as much without your spouse, most people are capable of handling time apart.

Exactly. Plus the fact that he knew this was going to happen when he was hired, she thought a Disney cruise would have been okay, and the fact that they're both okay with being separated when she does her girls trip.

 

[Hrhpd]

Phooey, who counts their marriages in hours - seconds is the way to go.
On my anniversary last month, we were married for 1,009,843,200 seconds (don't forget those leap years - you get to add another 24 hours/86,400 seconds for each leap year.)

DH agrees he must go.

Thanks everyone for the responses. Sounds like I being a spoiled baby about this and need to buck up. It just sucks.

OP, glad to see your husband realizes the importance of the trip and that you do really need to just suck it up. It will be fine.

And there is no shame in him getting his own cabin. I have been traveling for years as a mom and a chaperone for large team trips. When traveling as a mom, many of the moms shared hotel rooms to save money. Not me, I needed my space. I always booked a room for just me and my daughter even though I loved these people and knew them well.

Good luck and let us know if you were able to join him and how it went.

 

[mrsheppo]

I can remember when DH and I had only been married a short time that he was sent to work in Kansas City for 2 months and the next year I had training classes in Vegas for 1 week and a 1 week mandatory supervisory trip to Atlantic City later in the year. We survived and many times being apart for a short time makes you appreciate the time you have together. DH will also go hunting with his buddy for a week at a time and he has encouraged me to take our DD to WDW by myself.

 

[MrsDuck]

I'll refrain from echoing the PPs posts although I thoroughly agree...

The only thing left to do is for him to decide if he wants to room with another person or may extra for a private cabin. Next year you'll be more prepared to accompany him.

 

[moon]

It does sound a little more dramatic when you count it in HOURS...sort of like when parents call their 4 y.o. 48 months! I must admit this made me giggle.

ETA: Hey congratulate me - today is our Anniversary! We've been married 183,960 hours (you do the math)!

this is hilarious! Congratulations on your thousands of hours being married!

 

[DawnM]

We have both done overseas travels without our spouses for weeks at a time. It is just the nature of what we enjoy. We have our entire lives together, what is a couple of weeks of experience?

5 days is nothing. Really.

What I can't imagine is the 6 month tours some of these military have to do while they leave their families behind.

 

[NHdisneylover]

People keep saying they'd pay for the priavte room----if you are unfamliar with cruising OP, you may not realize that on most lines paying the single supplement is essentially the same cost as taking a second person--it is not a minor cost at all! My point being, if he is really dead set against sharing with a coworker, you'll be paying to go anyway, if you can possibly get the time off at that point I would recomend it (or maybe he can take his mom or a sibling or something?).

Personally---I think if a company only expects employees to travel 1-2 weeks per year ,and those trips have lots of down time (not lots of work to be done from a laptop in the room at night, etc) asking people to share is not out of line.
If someone is being asked to spend a significant amount of time away from home and/or expected to work from the room in the evenings, that is different and the company should be expected to provide them with a space of their own. So, in this case, I do not see an issue with the company telling those who do not bring family along that they must share, or pay out of pocket for the privelage of a private cabin.

 

[Muffin]

People keep saying they'd pay for the priavte room----if you are unfamliar with cruising OP, you may not realize that on most lines paying the single supplement is essentially the same cost as taking a second person--it is not a minor cost at all! My point being, if he is eally dead set against sharing with a coworker, you'll be paying to go anyway, if you can possibly get the time off at that point I would recomend it (or maybe he can take his mom or a sibling or something?).

Personally---I think if a company only expects employees to travel 1-2 weeks per year ,and those trips have lots of down time (not lots of work to be done from a laptop in the room at night, etc) askign people to share is not out of line.
If someone is being asked to spend a significan amount of time away from home and/or expected to work from the room in the evenings, that is different and the company should be expected to provide them with a space of their own. So, in this case, I do not see an issue with the ocmpany telling those who do not bring family along that they must share, or pay out of pocket for the privelage of a private cabin.

This makes me think of that episode of Everybody Loves Raymond when he took his mom on a cruise. So funny.

I wouldn't want to room with a co-worker either. If I were y'all, I'd pay the single supplement and think of it as tuition in the school of life. Plan better in the future.

 

[CarolAnn856]

People keep saying they'd pay for the priavte room----if you are unfamliar with cruising OP, you may not realize that on most lines paying the single supplement is essentially the same cost as taking a second person--it is not a minor cost at all! My point being, if he is eally dead set against sharing with a coworker, you'll be paying to go anyway, if you can possibly get the time off at that point I would recomend it (or maybe he can take his mom or a sibling or something?).

Personally---I think if a company only expects employees to travel 1-2 weeks per year ,and those trips have lots of down time (not lots of work to be done from a laptop in the room at night, etc) askign people to share is not out of line.
If someone is being asked to spend a significan amount of time away from home and/or expected to work from the room in the evenings, that is different and the company should be expected to provide them with a space of their own. So, in this case, I do not see an issue with the ocmpany telling those who do not bring family along that they must share, or pay out of pocket for the privelage of a private cabin.

I agree with everything except bringing along a parent or sibling. Unless the OP's husband knows for sure that there are a good number of employees who bring someone other than a spouse/significant other, then I would steer clear of that situation. It could look very strange if nobody else does that.

 

[Mokat76]

OP-I wish you would come back tell us WHAT this company DOES??????
I can not imagine ANY company being able to SHUT DOWN for a week!!!

Oddly enough, a lot of dental offices around here do this. It strikes me as a strange business model, but that's what they do.

 

[DLgal]

We have both done overseas travels without our spouses for weeks at a time. It is just the nature of what we enjoy. We have our entire lives together, what is a couple of weeks of experience?

5 days is nothing. Really.

What I can't imagine is the 6 month tours some of these military have to do while they leave their families behind.

My husband is military. We have been married 15 years. He has been gone from home for a total of 4.5 years when we add it all up.

It's tough but I'm a very independent person so it hasn't been the worst thing.

He was once gone for an 11 month deployment.

 

[Pumbaa_]

I draw the line at sharing a shower w a coworker. Never going to happen in my world. I just don't want to share that much of my life with someone not of my choosing. Thank goodness I am an adult and don't have to! My company always has everyone in their own room. And thankfully no retreats!

 

[Southernmiss]

Is this for real? We've been married 26 years and are homebodies, but wouldn't dare deny or moan about a work trip. DH has been on countless work trips starting with 6 months after we were married he had 3 months of military training. Through the years he's been to DC, Puerto Rico, San Francisco, Atlanta and several other places without me. The only time I went on a work trip with him was last year to Atlanta and we took 3 of our kids with us. I toured the City during the day with the kids and we met in the evening for dinner. Even then I felt as if we were doing a little something we shouldn't have been doing as he was on a work trip after all. All the other times, I was home with the kids and their activities.

Right now he's 6 hours away with DD as she had soccer tournament for the weekend and our DS had activities at home. DH will take another work trip in November for training again.

In today's world, I see travel for work as the norm.

 

[Deb]

People keep saying they'd pay for the priavte room----if you are unfamliar with cruising OP, you may not realize that on most lines paying the single supplement is essentially the same cost as taking a second person--it is not a minor cost at all! My point being, if he is eally dead set against sharing with a coworker, you'll be paying to go anyway, if you can possibly get the time off at that point I would recomend it (or maybe he can take his mom or a sibling or something?).

Personally---I think if a company only expects employees to travel 1-2 weeks per year ,and those trips have lots of down time (not lots of work to be done from a laptop in the room at night, etc) askign people to share is not out of line.
If someone is being asked to spend a significan amount of time away from home and/or expected to work from the room in the evenings, that is different and the company should be expected to provide them with a space of their own. So, in this case, I do not see an issue with the ocmpany telling those who do not bring family along that they must share, or pay out of pocket for the privelage of a private cabin.

I think the OP mentioned the cost to switch to a single and it was not horrible, less than $500. I agree with may others, think of it as a mandatory business trip not a almost mandatory vacation, if she can't go with him this year, so be it. Try to plan to join him next year, you may both find you enjoy cruising, if not, well enjoying a business trip is not a requirement.

 

[DawnM]

My husband is military. We have been married 15 years. He has been gone from home for a total of 4.5 years when we add it all up.

It's tough but I'm a very independent person so it hasn't been the worst thing.

He was once gone for an 11 month deployment.

It would be harder for me with the kids. He helps a lot. He helped when they were little and I was so tired all the time, and he helps with driving them around now that they are older.

If the kids weren't involved, it wouldn't bother me as much, although I still prefer him to be around.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I think the OP mentioned the cost to switch to a single and it was not horrible, less than $500. I agree with may others, think of it as a mandatory business trip not a almost mandatory vacation, if she can't go with him this year, so be it. Try to plan to join him next year, you may both find you enjoy cruising, if not, well enjoying a business trip is not a requirement.

I missed the OP posting that it was only $500 to upgrade to a single room -- thanks (though, for a 5 night cruise in off season it might well be the same cost as her going along anyway----we usually pay about $400 per person for a week in the fall on RCI).

 

[SirDuff]

I missed the OP posting that it was only $500 to upgrade to a single room -- thanks (though, for a 5 night cruise in off season it might well be the same cost as her going along anyway----we usually pay about $400 per person for a week in the fall on RCI).

It is. It is $435 for her fare and the same price for the single supplement.

 

[PollyannaMom]

... think of it as tuition in the school of life.

I am so using this phrase! Love it!!

 

[aprilgail]

Some couples actually like spending time together, and miss each other when one travels. Some couples look forward to retirement because that means that one or both of them won't be leaving every day for work. They look forward to all of the time that they can spend together.

.

You can like spending time with your spouse but it will not kill you to be apart for 5 days - that is the part I find ridiculous! Sure you would prefer to be with your spouse but is the world going to end if one of you has to go away for 5 short days???? She is whining like the world will end because they have to spend 5 days apart- time to grow up!

 

[leebee]

I wish one of our employers would offer one of us a free cruise!

I am in the "Suck it Up" camp. He knew that he'd have to do this when he accepted the job. Honestly, in today's employment market, who turns down a job because they don't want to go on a week-long cruise? If he doesn't go, he won't have to worry about next year's business trip, because he is going to be viewed as not a team player, someone not dedicated to his job, and he'll be working for someone else (or unemployed) before the next business trip rolls around! Time for both of you to grow up!

Besides, a week is not that long. DD22 and her very serious BF23 had just started moving to Connecticut and setting up their apartment when DD had the opportunity to take four 11 year olds to Portugal, to participate in an international gathering to promote international peace and understanding. Of course she went- fabulous opportunity for her! Her BF stayed home, set up the apartment, worked his job, etc., and they were SO happy to see each other when she came back! Certainly if a couple of "kids" just starting out on their exciting new life together can manage a month apart, you can manage a week.