Work Problem, What Would You Do?

[luv2nascar]

mommane I think I am in the minority but I agree with you and think you should stick to your guns if you can't get your vacation with out financial penalty at another time.

My mother had a similar situation at her work. New hire who is her back up had wedding all planned and set doesn't tell boss when hired. They can't both be off at same time and technically she gets no vacation for six months. My mother has once in a lifetime trip/cruise to Hawaii booked/paid for and vacation approved you guessed it same time as wedding. My mother did not cancel her trip she went. Coworkers vacation request for wedding was denied. She called out and was eventually let go for job abandonment. My mother felt bad but it wasn't her fault.

 

[va32h]

There seem to be many issues going on here: how you feel about the coworker, the supervisor's wonky attitude about discussing her with you, your feelings about "your" weeks, her feelings (which we really don't know, since we only have access to your side).

Be nice, let her go ahead with her plans. Consider it a karmic bank deposit.

 

[tiggersmom2]

My DH works for the same company - well, at least the same industry - it's all about seniority - that's all they have!! You bid in your weeks, and if more than one person wants the same week, the one with the highest seniority gets it. DH (10th year) FINALLY got spring break this year!

I can tell you this - it's an industry run like no other!! Nothing about it is like anywhere else!!

Our husbands are in the same industry.... There is a way getting around it over here. (They put in days for "off with permission" or something like that and then can put in a claim for vacation) LOL, my hubby does it all the time. All vacations were taken when our daughter was born and that is how we found out how to do it.

 

[kbkids]

Now I'm curious...what industry?

railroad --- Hey - we need a choo choo train smiley!!

 

[DisTeach1]

Here's another thought, although doubtful this would happen. When I planned my wedding I didn't consult or ask work. I picked the time that I thought I would want for a lifetime. I also knew that I would be quitting that job a week before my wedding and not returning because my husband and I were going to be moving. So, even though I knew I was quitting, I had to play along for 8 months and negotiate vacation time with other people, etc.

 

[aprilgail2]

railroad --- Hey - we need a choo choo train smiley!!

Bingo! And tell anyone there that we should "rotate" vacations and you will be laughed out of the yard LOL!! Thats sort of like letting the junior people work days and the senior people going to work nights! I have finally gotten a day job with weekends off and no way would I give that up- there are only 3 day jobs with weekends off all the other people have weekdays off or work nights. Its all about seniority and I think its the only fair way! Eventually everyone will be in the position to get what they want, they just have to wait their turn.

 

[CEDmom]

Wow, I guess I should count my blessing that where I work all I have to think about when scheduling vacation is my project deliverables not someone else's plans.

OP, I have to tell you when DH and I planned our wedding we chose a date that worked for us. We honestly didn't even consider whether work would be ok with it or not. I guess we just figured somehow it would work out for us and it did. Maybe your co-worker has a lot of family out of town and that date was the one that worked the best.

 

[kbkids]

Our husbands are in the same industry.... There is a way getting around it over here. (They put in days for "off with permission" or something like that and then can put in a claim for vacation) LOL, my hubby does it all the time. All vacations were taken when our daughter was born and that is how we found out how to do it.

That won't fly here. Trainmaster has to give the "permission," and he's a - well . . . . I have no points and don't want to go there.

If he has daily vacation, he'll take that - geez, it's a pain in the middle of Disney World to find a quiet spot to mark off!! Train whistle blew in the middle of one his calls once - caller says, "Hmm, you guys need to work on that horn - sounds wimpy!!" We always just stay up until midnight to key in the request for the daily vacations and make sure he's the first to get it. I usually do it for him as he's usually on a train. I was so ticked one night because someone beat me too it. Turned out it was him - he was on his cell phone on the train calling in too.

I must say though, he's never missed a birthday party or anything of major importance, never worked on Christmas, and only once worked on Thanksgiving. We just had dinner on Friday instead. So, I can't complain much - although I still do!!

DH just marked off family medical for our kids' births. He was on a train when I went to the hospital for the first one. I paged him 911, and they sent a van out to get him, and the driver actually drove him to the hospital instead of wasting time driving him back to the yard first. That was back under another trainmaster - who was great. This one I can assure you wouldn't have cared less!!

 

[LisaZee]

Wow, I'm really surprised that the company allows this to happen. Many companies won't allow one employee to hog all of the "good" weeks.

In the department I supervise, I allow the techs to take PTO around 1 major holiday and 1 minor holiday per year (major = T'Giving, Xmas, NY Day/minor = Memorial, Labor Day and July 4). They can pick the same 2 holidays every year if they want, but if they take of the day after Thanksgiving, they are not getting Xmas Eve off that same year. It seems to work pretty well.

 

[LisaZee]

And I forgot to add, I limit T'Giving and Xmas/New Year PTO to 2 days max per tech. That way everyone can get a few days off around the holidays, instead of one person hogging everything.

 

[fan_of_small_world]

Last time I'll go OT on here, but I just have to say that I just don't get the mentality of the "seniority trumps all." Of course those with the longest length of service should get first crack, but I just don't buy into the idea that it should completely prevent others from having a decent week off for the next 10 years. Luckily, I don't plan to ever work that industry, so for me it's a moot point. Just stating my opinion; I know I'm not going to change others' minds, lol!

 

[tiggersmom2]

That won't fly here. Trainmaster has to give the "permission," and he's a - well . . . . I have no points and don't want to go there.

Yep, the trainmaster gives permission. That sucks so bad that you guys have a bad one. We are sooooo lucky, ours is our next door neighbor and we have become close friends (he is a good guy anyway and does all the guys right).

 

[fan_of_small_world]

And I forgot to add, I limit T'Giving and Xmas/New Year PTO to 2 days max per tech. That way everyone can get a few days off around the holidays, instead of one person hogging everything.

You sound like a very fair supervisor.

OK, that really was the last time I'll go OT, I promise!

 

[kbkids]

Yep, the trainmaster gives permission. That sucks so bad that you guys have a bad one. We are sooooo lucky, ours is our next door neighbor and we have become close friends (he is a good guy anyway and does all the guys right).

Good for you guys!! Hang onto him!

DH went to an investigation a few weeks ago with an employee with 30 years of service, never once been charged with anything, and because the jerk trainmaster ran a test that would NEVER happen under any extreme of a condition, he is now fired. It's seriously getting scary around here. This time last year, we had 102 guys in our local - right now, 76. The senior guys are dropping right and left and going out on disability just to not run the risk of getting fired.

 

[va32h]

Last time I'll go OT on here, but I just have to say that I just don't get the mentality of the "seniority trumps all." Of course those with the longest length of service should get first crack, but I just don't buy into the idea that it should completely prevent others from having a decent week off for the next 10 years. Luckily, I don't plan to ever work that industry, so for me it's a moot point. Just stating my opinion; I know I'm not going to change others' minds, lol!

Ten years? Heck, it sounds like you have to wait until someone dies or retires.

 

[tiggersmom2]

Good for you guys!! Hang onto him!

DH went to an investigation a few weeks ago with an employee with 30 years of service, never once been charged with anything, and because the jerk trainmaster ran a test that would NEVER happen under any extreme of a condition, he is now fired. It's seriously getting scary around here. This time last year, we had 102 guys in our local - right now, 76. The senior guys are dropping right and left and going out on disability just to not run the risk of getting fired.

OMG.....thank god for "fire insurance". But still, what a rat *******..... I hope things get better on y'all's side.....

 

[kbkids]

Ten years? Heck, it sounds like you have to wait until someone dies or retires.

Yeh, pretty much. DH will never get the premium jobs and/or vacations because the 4 people ahead of him in seniority are all age-wise younger than him. In other words, age-wise, he will retire before they do.

 

[ChillyWilleys]

I understand why your upset but...This is her wedding. They tend to be pretty involved in planning. If she considered everyone she could have inconvenienced she may have never had a date set. She also has to consider her fiance and both of their families, not to mention just whats available for the places she wants at the prices she wants and the season she has every right to prefer. I tend to lean towards her having the right on this one. Pretty much anything else I'd agree is rude, but its her wedding.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Hi there! I'd like to get opinions on a problem I'm having.

I have a woman that backs me up at work. When one of us is out, the other has to be there. There's no getting around it.

Every year, I take the same two weeks in August and rent a cottage on Cape Cod. It never varies, it's always the same two weeks. This will be our third summer working together, so she's covered this vacation period twice before.

Today my back-up informed me she's getting married smack-dab in the middle of my vacation time, and wants two weeks off. She claimed to have forgotten about my standing vacation and/or thought I usually go in September, and she's already planned the wedding. I don't know how she came up with that because I have kids and can't go to the Cape for two weeks in September, but whatever.

I was in shock, and told her I'd see if I could change my weeks to July, but I doubt I can as the cottage is always booked solid. I haven't heard back from the cottage owner yet.

As I've thought about it however, I'm getting ticked off. Changing my weeks means we wouldn't see the people we've befriended that always spend that time at the community we rent in.

Also, last year I added a vacation day prior to my two week vacation to get packed for vacation and to cook for my mother's retirement party which was held on the day my rental started. She decided she had to have that day off, so to accomodate her I worked that day and had the caterer for my mother's party cook the portion I was to cook, which cost me a fortune. I did it as a favor to her, as she was covering me for two weeks.

I should add that I have seniority over her, in position and time with the company. If I say no, it's no, but I don't want to be that way!! I'd like to be accomodating. By the same token, she shouldn't have planned a wedding without making sure she could get the time off.

I've spoken to her supervisor, who agrees that she should have cleared the vacation time with me before planning her wedding, and sympathizes with me. I told her I'm not happy and she agrees with me. I haven't told the big boss yet because he'll be pretty ticked off with her and I don't want that.

If you got this far and my post makes any sense, thanks for reading. What would you do?

This is the only post I've read so far on this thread, but I just have to say...is this a joke?! Are you seriously considering telling her she cannot have the time off for her wedding?

 

[stitchlovestink]

I don't think she did it to cause me harm, I don't think she gives a crap though. We have a cordial relationship at best, but we aren't best friends.

She hates her job and she's trying to get a transfer/promotion but she's not able to transfer/promote out due to poor job performance. She's been told that she can't be transferred or promoted, so I know that she's looking for a job outside the company. She hates our office.

I could make these changes and she could quit any day.

This is why I would say if you don't want to change your plans, then don't. Chances sound pretty good that she might not even be w/ the company by the time her wedding rolls around.

I know you're disappointed and I understand that. But the way I see it, you've had those weeks for the last 2 years. It's her turn.


Think of it as the time period between Xmas and New Years. It would be totally unfair of the same person to monopolize this time every year.


Hopefully you can change your reservation.

I say first come/first served and seniority should and does count in this situation

I do sympathize with your situation, and yes, she should have checked to make sure that week was okay before making plans. My point is - are you friends enough that you don't want it to still be a sore spot with her 12 years later??

Doesn't sound like the bride to be will be staying in this job that long

Well, there you go. This is a prime example of how people end up feeling stressed and overwhelmed in their lives: by feeling responsible for other people and trying to make things go smoothly for everybody. Your co-worker is an adult and responsible for her own life and work schedule. If she started making wedding plans without checking with work that she could absolutely get that time off, then she is responsible for finding a solution or coping with the change herself.

You could go to all lengths to be accommodating and still get burned if she quits her job before the summer. This is a co-worker, not a friend.

Another thing: I could absolutely believe that she could have fuzzed up when you take your vacation normally if she doesn't have kids herself. Parents are acutely aware of school vacation schedules; the childless, not so much. This is, however, no excuse for her not verifying with her workplace that the dates for her wedding would be available as vacation.

A wedding is an important and once-in-a-lifetime occasion (hopefully!), but that doesn't entitle anyone to expect automatic concessions from everyone in their lives to give it the same high priority that they do themselves.

my thoughts exactly and well stated by the way