women working or dropping from workforce

[flowerboy]

Are women around you guys dropping out of the workforce? I feel like i'm the only women working in my circle of friends. So jealous of them exercising together, lunching together, after school with kids together. All my friends were working but now just say its not worth it. All are married with husbands with good jobs. I could never think about quitting. I'm just to scared to. I'm like Elizabeth Warren says in the "Two Income Trap"

 

[Acklander]

I went thru that when my kids were younger. I think about half my friends dropped out of the work force. I didn't feel like I was missing out on much by continuing to work, but I really, really enjoy my job and know that I would have missed that more than the lunching together and after school play date thing.
I didn't lose friends over it, but we weren't as close as we used to be. Our lives moved in different directions and I became closer to those who remained working - we had more in common.
Don't think of yourself as in a 2 income trap - if you want to stay home, many families make it work. They just change their priorities. Out of my friends that chose to leave the workforce it worked out ok for them. They may not have had as much money to work with, but they did fine. Only 2 of them did it end up being a bad decision for - and that's because their marriage ended and they didn't have the skills/experience to hop back in where they left off, so they struggled.

 

[cybrkitn]

I've been out for almost 4 years and not by my choice. The first job I had for just about 7 1/2 years (I was 2 days shy of hitting it) was closing it's doors, so I had to find another. The second job downsized a year and a half after I came aboard. I've recently found out that that company had to downsize again.

Being home when DS10 was 7 was good. I needed to be here for him while DH worked. DS was having problems with not listening to us and so on. Once I became a SAHM, he made a complete turn-around. It turned out that all he wanted was me (he already had a very strong relationship with DH since the beginning).

I have to admit that I do like being home, but we need a second income. Trying to pay the bills on one income is almost impossible. Unfortunately, in my field (receptionist/admin assistant) for my area, it's near impossible to find a job that's not too far away. The only jobs available are temporary work with an employment agency, which is what I've been doing. The down side to that is that temp assignments are few and far between and are very short term. The one I'm currently doing was supposed to last 5 months plus. But I've pretty much got the company caught up in about a week and a half that it's starting to wind down. I may only have this week and/or next week and then it's off to find another one.

 

[Robinrs]

No. All of the women I know work. I do remember some when I was in my 30s but all of my friends kids are grown.

I remember mentioning some time ago that the only SAHMs I know are on the DiS boards and someone said they didn't believe me. Most of the women I know are from past or current jobs so I guess that's why.

 

[NaLisa]

I stayed at the same company but went from management to working part-time after my first DD was born. After my second, I stopped working outside the home for a couple of years. From a financial standpoint, it just didn't make sense for us to put two children in childcare. I wasn't sure how I would feel before having kids, but I really wanted to be home with them those first few years.

When youngest was about two, I started doing some freelance and contract work out of my home and the kids went to MDO once a week. Later, I also did sub teaching work for DD's preschool. I got a great part-time job when youngest started kindergarten, and my hours keep increasing but at a pace I'm comfortable with. I enjoy being able to pick my DDs up from school every day, help with homework, take them to after-school activities, etc.

It really worked well for me and my family. We have to sacrifice a lot for me to stay home, but once both my kids were in elementary school, I was really excited about returning to the work force.

 

[Njord]

I'm the opposite. I am one of the only ones who doesn't work. I don't for a combination of reasons, mostly lifestyle related. When I do go back to work at the start of next school year, it will only be part-time/temp to save up for extras we want. More vacation money, a sailboat, additional general savings. If I had to, I'd go back FT, but that's not really anything either my husband or I are all that interested in otherwise. As it is, we live well below our means even on one income.

I do regularly volunteer in my career area to keep my skills fresh.

 

[KimR]

Almost all of the women around here are SAHMs and I'm not the least bit jealous. That's just something I've never really wanted to do, for many reasons. I enjoy working and I feel very fortunate to be able to work every day at a job that I love and that gives me the flexibility to be there for my kids when I am needed.

 

[ColoradoDisneyFreaks]

I live in a neighborhood where, when we moved in 7 years ago, I was somewhat ostracized because I was working and DH stayed home. He did contract for his previous employer, but he was the one at home most of the time.

Now, I'm seeing more of those women trying to re-enter the workforce as our kids get older and into school. I think women leaving/entering the workforce is really dependent on what stage of life you're in.

On a side note, cybrkitn, I JUST watched that Dr. Who episode last night! Totally creepy, so I couldn't sleep, but loved it!

 

[bettymae1121]

Nope, all my friends work. The dads have all been SAH for short times during unemployment though!

 

[stsomewhere]

Everyone I know is a working mom. My mom worked when I was growing up. I Was determined to stay at home once I had kids.

Thankfully my husband makes enough money to allow me to stay at home.

I wish I knew other SAHM.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

I only know one mom who recently decided to quit and become a stay at home (which she probably regrets, as her husband just got laid off). All the rest work. Growing up, most of the moms I knew worked and SAHMs were considered kind of weird.

 

[themilesfamily]

In my circle, the women who have kids and can afford it, stay home.

I really, really appreciate those moms because they do the lions share of the volunteering at school. They do the classroom parties, the chaperoning of field trips, the book fairs, the fun fairs, the Girl Scout troops, etc.

I stayed home for years and LOVED it. But it got to the point that, financially, we needed another income. I'm working now (part-time) and don't love it, but am paid well. I miss being home and hate the time I'm away from family. But such is life.

 

[cybrkitn]

On a side note, cybrkitn, I JUST watched that Dr. Who episode last night! Totally creepy, so I couldn't sleep, but loved it!

We loved it, too. Can't wait for this week's ep!

 

[cybrkitn]

I stayed home for years and LOVED it. But it got to the point that, financially, we needed another income. I'm working now (part-time) and don't love it, but am paid well. I miss being home and hate the time I'm away from family. But such is life.

That's exactly how I feel. I love staying home and being here for when DS10 gets home from school and I love being able to pick him up from school to bring him to his bowling league on Fridays. I miss that now that I'm working at a temp assignment.

I had to go back working as a temp b/c we need the extra income. But even that is few and far between. While temping is helping me get back into the work force, it's also hard b/c I've only had 3 assignments (2 with one agency and this one with a different one) since January. The first two were only a week each. This current assignment will most probably end either this week or next week. So that will make it about 2.5 - 3 weeks. There is too much of a gap between assignments for me.

 

[OhMari]

My job is being taken over by men that lost their jobs in the bad economy.
I went to a District meeting last month and it was all men.
15 years ago, it was all women.
I am a church secretary.
At the meeting I found out my job title is now:
Director of Administration.

 

[beaucoup]

I am late 40's. Myself & several friends all no longer working for various reasons. Nothing to do with kids or being a mom or not.

Nice thing, no one looks at me funny any more when I say I am no longer working. Guess its becoming more the norm. I don't feel so odd any more & that is nice.

 

[fstone]

I'll share my experience: I'm in my mid fifties and work full time. I worked full time after I was married and then stopped working for about ten years while our kids were young and then rejoined the workforce once they were both in school. What I found is that it wasn't that hard to get back into the workforce. But now I have a dilemma. My employer is eliminating all of the IT positions at my bldg in the fall. Several of my coworkers are waiting until that date to look for another job because they want to get the severance check and are not worried about the ability to get another job. I am thinking that i should start looking now to avoid a potential of a break in paychecks. Would you start looking now or wait?

 

[ColoradoDisneyFreaks]

I'll share my experience: I'm in my mid fifties and work full time. I worked full time after I was married and then stopped working for about ten years while our kids were young and then rejoined the workforce once they were both in school. What I found is that it wasn't that hard to get back into the workforce. But now I have a dilemma. My employer is eliminating all of the IT positions at my bldg in the fall. Several of my coworkers are waiting until that date to look for another job because they want to get the severance check and are not worried about the ability to get another job. I am thinking that i should start looking now to avoid a potential of a break in paychecks. Would you start looking now or wait?

I think it depends on the environment where you are. For me, in Denver, the IT environment is pretty good, and when you factor in my skill set, it's fantastic, so I'd wait and get the severance, knowing that I can have a new job in a couple of weeks (maybe not the most ideal job, but I can get a paycheck). Given that, I'd also start looking around to see if my "perfect job" was out there, because I'd jump ship if that were the case.

 

[scrapquitler]

Where I live, it's definitely a mix of stay at home moms, moms who work part time and those with full time jobs outside the home.

Among the women I know, a large percentage stayed home for a couple of years when the kids were very young, then transitioned back to work either part time or full time as their kids got older. Now that most of my group of friends have kids who are mostly in middle school and high school, there are only a few who are still full time SAhM.

 

[Colleen27]

It is a mix around here. The majority are either SAHMs or work "mom jobs" (part time, mainly school hours, often within the school system itself), but working moms aren't rare by any stretch. As the kids get older, the balance shifts more towards working - only a couple of my 15yo's friends have moms at home all day, but most of my 4yo's friends and classmates do.

I jokingly refer to myself as retired because I don't have plans to re-enter the full time workforce at all (barring financial necessity, of course), and I'm definitely in the minority for wanting to be home even once the kids are in school all day. Our area is very working-class and a lot of families look forward to the day when the kids are all in school and both parents can work without one salary going almost entirely to childcare, but my husband's hours are so erratic that while I do plan to devote myself to building a freelance business I don't want to be worrying about my own work schedule vs the kids' activity schedules.