"I really really do not want to do long distance." I texted my now ex boyfriend. I tried to have this conversation in person before I left but he wasn't having it. I was not about to do this over text message while driving cross country, but I was so high from that amazing sunrise morning I didn't even care. I was ready to be single and start this new chapter of my beautiful life! I FINALLY made it to Georgia. One state away from my hopes and dreams!!!! As I was waiting for his response during this awkward text message break up (go ahead, judge me!

) I put my foot on the gas to try to reach the 70mph speed limit.......
What.is.going.on.....?!
My car wouldn't accelerate. I tried to stay calm. I pulled over to the side of the highway on 95 South.
NO.
NO NO NO NO NO.
I turned my engine off and opened the hood of my car. I wasn't thinking. Everything was happening so fast. I checked my oil level....because that's the only thing I know how to do. BONE DRY. I panic, running to my trunk to get the oil I have and fill it back up. I get back in my car and turn the key.
IT DOESN'T START.
I immediately look up what town my gps says I'm in. Richmond Hill GA. I hate that town now. A million things running through my mind. I go to call
AAA.
"IPhone needs to cool down before you can use it."
WHAT IS MY LIFE.
I eventually call for a tow truck in a 20 minute conversation that seemed to drag on forever. I hang up.
The heat of sitting in my car is unbearable. I can feel my car shake with every passing of each truck on the highway. What just happened finally hit me. If this was say, a flat tire or something fixable I would be okay. I am a VERY calm and chill person, and it takes a lot to upset me. However, I don't know much about cars but I do know that running them for god knows how long with no oil in it is not a good thing.
I do not want to call any of my friends or family, because
1. I don't want to make them worry as they where already making me check in what felt like every 5 minutes and
2. I don't want to hear it.
It still
hurts to even describe how I felt in this moment. I felt stranded. I felt alone. I felt hopeless. All my happy thoughts from that morning where gone. How could such an amazing mood turn into this feeling? What happens when I have no car and I'm so far from Orlando? I refuse to give up. I refuse to go home.
I sat in my car sobbing, hyperventilating, and screaming all these thoughts to myself for a good hour. Just non stop crying and sweating.
The tow truck comes. I get myself together. Me? Having a metal freakin' breakdown? Nope! Never! I wipe away my tears and greeted this man with a huge smile! I was overcompensating to try and make myself not break down in front of this stranger. Plus, I didn't want a random man knowing I was stranded and so upset. I was so awkward as stumbled over my own words not even knowing what was going on, "HELLO HI HOW ARE YOU WHAT BEAUTIFUL WEATHER WE ARE HAVING!" I got in his truck and watched as my poor little Toyota got loaded onto the back.
I took this photo while he was attaching my car. I'm not sure if you all can tell yet, but I am a super CHEESY and super positive (usually) human being. I took this photo because I knew whether my car be good or bad, I will always remember how hopeless I felt in this moment. And some day eventually I will look back on this and be okay and feel pride. I took this picture to remind myself everything is going to be okay, and in the future when things aren't okay, I can look at this picture and remember what I've been through.
I know, so cheesy right? Well welcome to the mind of Khalee and the strange things that I do.
I know this may seem so over dramatic, but I'm just trying to tell the raw story here. It's one of those things that HOPEFULLY someday I'll look back on and laugh at, but in the moment it feels like life is just one big downhill spiral from here.... like that feeling when you breakup with your first teenage love or something.
I got towed to a local car shop that AAA recommended me, and waited. After I waited, I waited some more. I felt as though I was in an Emergency Room trying to figure out if a loved one was going to make it or not. I hope that doesn't offend anyone, I know it's just a car.. but I really did feel like that in the moment. My future depends on this car. I do not have any money saved up to get a new one, and my family can't help me out at this time either.
I sat in the waiting room alone, still not telling any family, crying on and off for 4
long hours.
"Khalee?" They called me over.
"I'm afraid we don't have good news... your car is done for good. It would cost less to buy a new one than to repair it."
"Okay!" I said with a smile on my face.
I didn't know how to react without looking like a complete crazy lady. "Thank you so much! Let me just go make some phone calls to figure this out!"
I walked outside in the heat of Georgia, sat on a sidewalk and just cried.
I had no car anymore, everything important to me packed up in that car, very little money, and was so close to making it to Orlando.
I had been through such highs and lows in a mere 10 hours, I was mentally and physically exhausted. And I smelt really bad.
It was time to make the phone calls I didn't want to make and attempt to figure out what the heck I was going to do.
"Walt Disney had plenty of failures and hardships in his story. This is just your version." I kept telling myself all day. "If you can dream it you can do it!"
Thank god for my cheesiness....