Will you please wish me luck?

[Mrs. Darcy]

Tomorrow I go for my first OB appointment. I'm so excited but sad that my DH isn't back from his military job to be here with me. So my mother is coming with me. I'm wondering if I should invite my MIL to come, too. We're pretty close, and she's been dropping hints that she would like to come. I have no problem modesty-wise and my mom doesn't mind, but is that the norm that MILs come to the OB exams?? Or is she just strange and I never noticed before?

 

[Buckalew11]

If you are close and you don't mind, by all means invite her. You will most likely only strengthen your relationship with her by including her.

Possibly, if you have a son, you'll be a MIL one day and maybe you'd like to go too. And maybe your son will marry a young woman who likes you and will include you too.
I think it sounds like a very nice thing to do.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

Oh how fun!! I loved those visits. Yes, I would invite your mother in law to come too if you feel comfortable with it. My MIL came with us a few times and it made it even more fun for us.

I wish you luck tomorrow. Let us know how it went.

 

[Ember]

Best wishes! I would invite you mother in law if you don't mind her being there. One more excited person cheering for you is never a bad thing. I can only imagine what it must be like to be so excited and also a little blue because your husband can't be with you. I hope the day goes great. Could you maybe snap a few photos and document things so your husband could share in the day later?

 

[Mrs. Darcy]

Tomorrow Im having an ultrasound to check for the baby's heartbeat and size. My OB is a wonderful woman who has had given birth to 5 children, so I;m comfortable that she knows what it's like first-hand as well as having all the specialist medical knowledge, and she told me to bring who ever I want as long as I;m comfortable with them being there.

I was just wondering what the consensus was on here about bringing a MIL to this.I think I do want her there because her son can't be here with me. I just don't want to be an oddball because my friends who have children didn't bring their mothers or MILs to the appt.

Anyway, I'll call her in the morning and ask her if she would like to join my mother and me for my OB exam and ultrasound. So please wish me luck that everything is ok. I've been feeling nauseous every day, not too bad, but it's there. And feeling tired a lot in the afternoons like I could use a nap. Other than that, I feel great.

I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow. I'm a little nervous, but excited to be able to see my baby in the ultrasound even if it looks like a tadpole at this stage of development. I dont care, its my baby!

 

[rie'smom]

OP, it would be a wonderful gesture to invite your MIL. She would never forget the kindness.

ETA Good luck and come back and share!

 

[Mrs. Darcy]

Best wishes! I would invite you mother in law if you don't mind her being there. One more excited person cheering for you is never a bad thing. I can only imagine what it must be like to be so excited and also a little blue because your husband can't be with you. I hope the day goes great. Could you maybe snap a few photos and document things so your husband could share in the day later?

Great idea! He'll be home in 2 weeks and he'll be wanting to know and see all the details. I'll try to scan and post the ultrasound images that they're giving me to keep and post them on here if it's allowed.
nd I know he'll be happy that I invite his mom. So yes, I'll do it. Than you!

 

[Buckalew11]

And just a bit of advice...try to stop caring what your friends do and what's normal, lol, because really, for many, many wives it is not "normal" to even get along with your MIL, let alone invite them to the OB appointment.

So concerning your family, DH and future children always do what is right in your heart--not what is the accepted norm. Just some advice from an "old lady."

I'm sure your DH will be very happy and pleased you reached out to his mom. I hope your visit goes well and that the baby is growing and fine. I loved being pregnant and all that went with it. Enjoy this time if your body allows you to...I hope your pregnancy is a healthy one and your labor is short and *easy*.

 

[Mrs. Darcy]

Buckalew11
So concerning your family, DH and future children always do what is right in your heart--not what is the accepted norm. Just some advice from an "old lady."

Advice from an "old lady" is what young ladies need, it's worth more than gold. Thank you all.

 

[PebblesMom]

I think it is awesome that you are thinking about your MIL and wanting to include her. I wish I would have thought to invite mine!

 

[SookieStackhouse]

Best of luck I'm sure youre MIL would greatly appreciate being included. It is a very nice gesture.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

I know years ago, I took in a VHS tape and they would record it "live" so we could watch it later. Do they still do that, or could you bring in a blank DVD for this? Just wondering, it would be nice for OP to have to share with her DH.

 

[Kat77]

Best of Luck!

 

[Magic Mom]

Tomorrow I go for my first OB appointment. I'm so excited but sad that my DH isn't back from his military job to be here with me. So my mother is coming with me. I'm wondering if I should invite my MIL to come, too. We're pretty close, and she's been dropping hints that she would like to come. I have no problem modesty-wise and my mom doesn't mind, but is that the norm that MILs come to the OB exams?? Or is she just strange and I never noticed before?

If you want her there, who cares what the norm is. You don't have to live by what other people like or dislike.

 

[NHdisneylover]

If you think your mother in law would like to come and you get along with her and you feel the techs will be okay with all the people being there then I would say to invite her.
It sounds like that is what you are doing

I have two related questions (since OP already had gotten the advice she wnted and made a decision I hope she doesn't mind if I ask):
1. Maybe this is an age thing (my kids are already 12 and 14) but when mine were born the standard was just one ultra sound at about 20 weeks. Has this changed?

2. Another possible age thing: Do most women have their husbands at most Dr. Appts for pregnancy and do most people have a "crowd" at the ultrasound? There was another thread recently in which family was coming in from out of town to see the ultrasound. My husband only went to two appointments: the ultra sound and one late on after a move when I was having trouble communicating with the new doctor and wanted his help. Generally, it never occured to me that i wanted or needed him at routine appointments--gosh save up the good will to miss work for when the baby is here and it certainly never occurred to either of us to invite people to the ultrasound (we have never been invited to one either).
Is this a regional thing or an age thing or what

 

[VAfamily1998]

If you think your mother in law would like to come and you get along with her and you feel the techs will be okay with all the people being there then I would say to invite her.
It sounds like that is what you are doing

I have two related questions (since OP already had gotten the advice she wnted and made a decision I hope she doesn't mind if I ask):
1. Maybe this is an age thing (my kids are already 12 and 14) but when mine were born the standard was just one ultra sound at about 20 weeks. Has this changed?

2. Another possible age thing: Do most women have their husbands at most Dr. Appts for pregnancy and do most people have a "crowd" at the ultrasound? There was another thread recently in which family was coming in from out of town to see the ultrasound. My husband only went to two appointments: the ultra sound and one late on after a move when I was having trouble communicating with the new doctor and wanted his help. Generally, it never occured to me that i wanted or needed him at routine appointments--gosh save up the good will to miss work for when the baby is here and it certainly never occurred to either of us to invite people to the ultrasound (we have never been invited to one either).
Is this a regional thing or an age thing or what

My four babies were all born at west coast military hospitals with all care by military OBs. They were born in 2000, 2001, 2004, and 2006.

For all of them, the first OB appointment was really only about paperwork and getting a blood/urine test around 8 weeks. At these, I didn't even see the OB, I'm not even sure if the person I talked with was a nurse or just an admin type person?

The first "real" appointment where I actually saw the OB was not done until the end of 1st trimester/beginning of 2nd trimester. There was a standard 20 week ultrasound.

My dh was rarely able to come to my OB appointments either. In 4 full term pregnancies, he only came to two---one was with DS #1, the day before Thanksgiving and we were leaving immediately after the appointment to drive 8 hours to his parents house...the other time was with DS #2 and my OB transferred from Naval Hospital Camp Pendleton to Naval Medical Center Balboa (about a 45 minute drive away) about half way through my pregnancy. I liked my OB so much that I asked if I continue care down there and Dh came with me to register my pregnancy...so again, it was really just paperwork and a blood test, didn't even see the OB. Dh came with me to that one mostly because I had heard parking was really difficult down there so I worried I wouldn't be able to find a parking spot and I wanted him to be able to drop me off so I wouldn't be late if parking was really horrific.

I don't think any of my friends had their Dh's around for most OB visits either...All the military ones have usually just been grateful if he's around for the birth and the next few days afterwards...

 

[princesspumpkin]

Including your MIL is a wonderful gesture. Just another thought - even though you may get along well with her (and your mother may have a good relationship with her too), I wonder if your mother would feel a little "slighted" that she didn't get to experience this special first with you alone. I know some moms may want to share that special first ultrasound moment with their daughters by themselves. No offense to the MIL, but I know that sometimes mother/daughter relationships can be a little different when it comes to pregnancy.

If so, maybe you can take MIL to another appointment - just the two of you (or with your DH).

Just another thought

BTW, I am not in that position yet, but I believe that my own mother would have felt that way.

 

[mhsjax]

Great idea! He'll be home in 2 weeks and he'll be wanting to know and see all the details. I'll try to scan and post the ultrasound images that they're giving me to keep and post them on here if it's allowed.
nd I know he'll be happy that I invite his mom. So yes, I'll do it. Than you!

I t has been a long time for me, but they used to tape it for you , if you wanted. Call and ask them. I know video is out now, but I am sure they are doing something.

 

[mhsjax]

My four babies were all born at west coast military hospitals with all care by military OBs. They were born in 2000, 2001, 2004, and 2006.

For all of them, the first OB appointment was really only about paperwork and getting a blood/urine test around 8 weeks. At these, I didn't even see the OB, I'm not even sure if the person I talked with was a nurse or just an admin type person?

The first "real" appointment where I actually saw the OB was not done until the end of 1st trimester/beginning of 2nd trimester. There was a standard 20 week ultrasound.

My dh was rarely able to come to my OB appointments either. In 4 full term pregnancies, he only came to two---one was with DS #1, the day before Thanksgiving and we were leaving immediately after the appointment to drive 8 hours to his parents house...the other time was with DS #2 and my OB transferred from Naval Hospital Camp Pendleton to Naval Medical Center Balboa (about a 45 minute drive away) about half way through my pregnancy. I liked my OB so much that I asked if I continue care down there and Dh came with me to register my pregnancy...so again, it was really just paperwork and a blood test, didn't even see the OB. Dh came with me to that one mostly because I had heard parking was really difficult down there so I worried I wouldn't be able to find a parking spot and I wanted him to be able to drop me off so I wouldn't be late if parking was really horrific.

I don't think any of my friends had their Dh's around for most OB visits either...All the military ones have usually just been grateful if he's around for the birth and the next few days afterwards...

wow, I worked for OB?GYNs for 11 years. The first visit you always saw the Dr. Yes it was tons of paper work, and the draining of all your blood. But you did see the Dr. I have never heard of not seeing the OB on the first visit, and I also have 3 of my own that another Dr delivered, so it was done this way in their office also.

 

[mjkacmom]

If you think your mother in law would like to come and you get along with her and you feel the techs will be okay with all the people being there then I would say to invite her.
It sounds like that is what you are doing

I have two related questions (since OP already had gotten the advice she wnted and made a decision I hope she doesn't mind if I ask):
1. Maybe this is an age thing (my kids are already 12 and 14) but when mine were born the standard was just one ultra sound at about 20 weeks. Has this changed?

2. Another possible age thing: Do most women have their husbands at most Dr. Appts for pregnancy and do most people have a "crowd" at the ultrasound? There was another thread recently in which family was coming in from out of town to see the ultrasound. My husband only went to two appointments: the ultra sound and one late on after a move when I was having trouble communicating with the new doctor and wanted his help. Generally, it never occured to me that i wanted or needed him at routine appointments--gosh save up the good will to miss work for when the baby is here and it certainly never occurred to either of us to invite people to the ultrasound (we have never been invited to one either).
Is this a regional thing or an age thing or what

Things have changed - first baby was born in 96, one u/s (at 12 weeks couldn't get hb on dopplar, did u/s, and insurance only covered one, so that was it). Second baby in 98, one u/s at 20 weeks. Third baby in 01, u/s at 8 to date pregnancy, nuchal translucency before 20 weeks, and then 20 week u/s. Same with twins in 2003, except monthly u/s's (because of the twin factor).

DH came to first u/s's, and that was pretty much it. My mom came to some with the twins, and usually my kids came, if they weren't in school. OB appointments were just me, or me and child/children. If not for an u/s, they're pretty dull.