Why would you choose not to be an organ donor?

[lillygator]

I agree. I think you were getting picked on for being honest. I have made my wishes known that if possible I would like to be an organ donor. I used to say anything but my eyes..I don't know why but it freaked me out. I have since become ok with donating my eyes but I would never judge anyone who wouldn't donate theirs or anything else. It is highly personal decision. It is also difficult for the family of the donor at least in the instance of my friends sister. She was declared brain dead at 10 am, family decided to donate her organs so test after test was started to check the viabilty of her organs. At midnight, the family said 'no more' They couldn't take sitting with their daughter waiting for the organs to be harvested any longer so they told them to take what they could now and not wait on anymore tests. Does that make them selfish? I think not.

absolutely NOT.

 

[tinatark]

I have a little experience with donations - it can be uncomfortable for the donor family initially - first the decision to donate, but after that, in both cases, one, a 18 year old killed in a car accident and the other, a 52 year old stroke victim - it was- just strange, I guess, to say goodbye while they were still on life support.

We are also friends with a family who owns a funeral home - they haven't donated from their family members who have passed away - I think because of their experience with the entire process, including the body afterwards.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Technically--noone is an organ donor until they have participated in a live transplant (i.e. kidney) or they are already dead and their organs have been harvested.

Now back to your regularly scheduled "judgement".

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Actually I am, I am an organ donor

Since you asked though, I will answer although you seemed to ignore the part about choosing who you would donate to. When I checked yes at the DMV it was with zero stipulations. If I said "sorry I will only donate to those who have agreed to donate themselves" or if I was dying and in my last breath I said to my family "don't let anyone have my organs if they weren't willing to give their own" that would make me vindictive, vengeful, spiteful etc. Traits far worse than selfishness IMO.

It would also be illegal.

There is no obligation or requirement that in order to receive ANY medical care--including transplants, that one must first have given it.

I'm not a brain surgeon--but if I need brain surgery, I will very much accept it even though I have no intent to ever go to med school to learn to do it.

 

[mumom95]

After reading some of these posts I have to wonder if some of the pp's were given the choice as a donor would they refuse to give their organs to someone who wasn't? I'm sad to say that I think they would, at least that is the impression I get and I guess that is a million times worse than being selfish.

I'm not sure people are saying that they wouldn't give. But there are many, many people on the transplant list. I know I would much prefer my organs go to someone that is also willing to be an organ donor. Kind of like many people would probably rather see their organs go to a child over an adult who is in the situation due to poor life choices (alcoholism, drug use, etc). That doesn't mean they aren't willing to give to the adult, it just wouldn't be their first choice if given a choice. But we aren't given the choice (and I don't believe we should be given the choice), so we become willing donors hoping it will help someone.

I agree with what you said (I think you said this) about it's human instinct to do what needs to be done to save your own life or the life of someone you love. I imagine even the people who aren't organ donors and say they wouldn't accept an organ if in the situation, would change their mind if they were actually in need.

I also imagine if the people who aren't willing to be organ donors are ever in the situation that their child or loved receives an organ, I imagine they might change their mind about organ donation afterwards. I think it is also human nature, when we are touched so deeply by the generosity of others, to want to give back in return. This may not hold true for the people who won't donate due to strong religious beliefs. But for many of the people who won't because it just doesn't feel right, I think those feelings might change after they see what organ donation did for their loved one.

I still stand by my feeling that I think it is a selfish act/attitude to say you (the general you) would accept a donated organ but wouldn't donate yourself. But I do not feel this makes a person selfish. One opinion or action on a certain topic does not define a person's character. I respect people's right to make their own decision when it comes to something like this. I can respect it, but still think it's wrong. What I cannot do is make them feel guilty about their decision, that is also wrong. It is their decision and their decision alone and whether or not I think it is right or wrong should have nothing to do with it.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

In reality, whether you'd be willing to be a donor yourself has no bearing on whether you'd receive a transplant if you needed one.

 

[NikitaZee]

In reality, whether you'd be willing to be a donor yourself has no bearing on whether you'd receive a transplant if you needed one.

Yes - and I believe this is as it should be.

 

[luvmy3]

It would also be illegal.

There is no obligation or requirement that in order to receive ANY medical care--including transplants, that one must first have given it.

I'm not a brain surgeon--but if I need brain surgery, I will very much accept it even though I have no intent to ever go to med school to learn to do it.

Its a hypothetical question I still stand by my opinion that if given the choice (which is what I said in the previous post) that some of the pp's calling people selfish for not donating, would choose who they could donate to based on that little box on the back of your DMV form. To me that is far worse than one choosing not to donate at all and tells more about the kind of person you are. YMMV.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Its a hypothetical question I still stand by my opinion that if given the choice (which is what I said in the previous post) that some of the pp's calling people selfish for not donating, would choose who they could donate to based on that little box on the back of your DMV form. To me that is far worse than one choosing not to donate at all and tells more about the kind of person you are. YMMV.

Ooops--totally read that in a different way. And yes, I do agree with your assessment.

In the end though, we pick and choose how we help people in all walks of life--and there is never a requirement that one reciprocates what they receive when they need help.

 

[luvmy3]

I'm not sure people are saying that they wouldn't give. But there are many, many people on the transplant list. I know I would much prefer my organs go to someone that is also willing to be an organ donor. Kind of like many people would probably rather see their organs go to a child over an adult who is in the situation due to poor life choices (alcoholism, drug use, etc). That doesn't mean they aren't willing to give to the adult, it just wouldn't be their first choice if given a choice. But we aren't given the choice (and I don't believe we should be given the choice), so we become willing donors hoping it will help someone.

I agree with what you said (I think you said this) about it's human instinct to do what needs to be done to save your own life or the life of someone you love. I imagine even the people who aren't organ donors and say they wouldn't accept an organ if in the situation, would change their mind if they were actually in need.

I also imagine if the people who aren't willing to be organ donors are ever in the situation that their child or loved receives an organ, I imagine they might change their mind about organ donation afterwards. I think it is also human nature, when we are touched so deeply by the generosity of others, to want to give back in return. This may not hold true for the people who won't donate due to strong religious beliefs. But for many of the people who won't because it just doesn't feel right, I think those feelings might change after they see what organ donation did for their loved one.

I still stand by my feeling that I think it is a selfish act/attitude to say you (the general you) would accept a donated organ but wouldn't donate yourself. But I do not feel this makes a person selfish. One opinion or action on a certain topic does not define a person's character. I respect people's right to make their own decision when it comes to something like this. I can respect it, but still think it's wrong. What I cannot do is make them feel guilty about their decision, that is also wrong. It is their decision and their decision alone and whether or not I think it is right or wrong should have nothing to do with it.

Just to be clear, you are correct nobody has come out and say they wouldn't. I said it was an impression I got from some of the posters here, from what they are saying in their posts. It was something I wondered about, and you are the only one to come right out and admit that you would prefer they go to another willing to donate.

 

[luvmy3]

Ooops--totally read that in a different way. And yes, I do agree with your assessment.

In the end though, we pick and choose how we help people in all walks of life--and there is never a requirement that one reciprocates what they receive when they need help.

ITA Charity, in whatever form is a personal choice and should never be measured but only appreciated.

 

[merryweather20]

Actually I am, I am an organ donor

Since you asked though, I will answer although you seemed to ignore the part about choosing who you would donate to. When I checked yes at the DMV it was with zero stipulations. If I said "sorry I will only donate to those who have agreed to donate themselves" or if I was dying and in my last breath I said to my family "don't let anyone have my organs if they weren't willing to give their own" that would make me vindictive, vengeful, spiteful etc. Traits far worse than selfishness IMO.

If you checked the box why are you argueing in the first place

Giving some is still better than giving nothing.

No organs to anyone under any circumstances is to quote you "vindictive, vengeful, spiteful etc." and I'll add hypocritical, since these are people who would take but never give.

 

[luvmy3]

If you checked the box why are you argueing in the first place

Giving some is still better than giving nothing.

No organs to anyone under any circumstances is to quote you "vindictive, vengeful, spiteful etc." and I'll add hypocritical, since these are people who would take but never give.

I'm not arguing anything, I'm discussing the fact that some of you feel that those who don't donate but take are selfish.

I think that while someone is waiting on that table for your organs that you agreed to donate, and you saying sorry not going to happen is all of those things. That person can't be waiting for something that someone never promised to give

 

[Inigo]

Since we are speaking openly, FWIW, while in chiropractic school I had the opportunity to work on and learn from a deceased woman who, it turned out, had had many many MANY surgeries. Because of the way our courses worked, we learned from the same person for three quarters of one year. And she was like a mystery. We found staples inside her skull, near her heart...she was missing some organs...it was absolutely fascinating. We learned SO much from her.

So maybe it's different from school to school, program to program (though our anatomy prof used to work at the semi-local medical school, and he said they used the same program for anatomy classes at both schools), but perhaps you could see if there is a chiro school in your area, call up their Anatomy profs, and find out what program they use?

Good information. I'll call some medical schools and see what they have to say.


No offense, but I don't think I could donate me to a chiropractic school. DH goes to a chiropractor, but I don't "believe" (or whatever you want to call it) in chiropractic care. I had several tell me they could cure my crohn's, and that turned me off them. Maybe I just spoke to some who were quacks, but I find that claim to be completely and totally inane.

Like I said, I hope this doesn't offend you. DH loves going to the chiropractor. It's just not for me.

 

[bumbershoot]

I also imagine if the people who aren't willing to be organ donors are ever in the situation that their child or loved receives an organ, I imagine they might change their mind about organ donation afterwards.

As I mentioned, my friend had a liver transplant a year ago (well, we're still 2 days shy of that mark). And it made it even more difficult for me. I'm glad my friend is still alive, but I watched what she went through in being happy she's still here while deeply mourning that another had died. I watched some of her personality and tastes change, and wondered (along with her) if that was just from being healthy or if having another person's DNA in her had caused it. She never shied away from thinking about how profound it is, and neither have I, and I did not react to that by checking the box, but I've reacted to it by thinking about it even more deeply.

No offense, but I don't think I could donate me to a chiropractic school. DH goes to a chiropractor, but I don't "believe" (or whatever you want to call it) in chiropractic care. I had several tell me they could cure my crohn's, and that turned me off them. Maybe I just spoke to some who were quacks, but I find that claim to be completely and totally inane.

Like I said, I hope this doesn't offend you. DH loves going to the chiropractor. It's just not for me.

Once can't even get into chiro school without encountering the attitudes. Though the uphill climb from the attitude is one of the reasons I retired. One of the many many reasons.

I thought it was crazy too, until my mom dragged me to see her DC, and inside of a few visits I didn't have shin splints anymore (not specifically a chiropractic adjustment, but a manipulation of the leg bones caused that one...taught in the particular chiro school the DC went to) and didn't have allergies either (that was chiro). I'd spent a year drugged up on everything my allergist could give me, and another year getting absolutely useless allergy shots, and after a few visits they were GONE.

And from then on I realized it was powerful.

So...you might give it a shot. If your problems are being caused by an immune system, or an organ system, that isn't getting the right info from your brain, and if that problem is being caused because the nerves are slightly impinged by a slightly misaligned vertebra (or two or more), it could definitely help! If it's not caused by that, then it won't help. With that.

She was refused a place on the transplant list as the surgical requirements is that they will not operate on somebody who is not clean from the drugs or alcohol. So her family went to the media with the classic photos of mum with sad eyes and adoring children etc. The government has now lent her family $250,000 to pay for her to go to Singapore and have a live donor transplant from a relative. She was operated on last week and so far both the donor & recipient are still alive.

But it is a major debate at the moment...

To go on the liver transplant list, my friend had to have bloodwork for drugs done every few months. When she first went on the list, she was married, and her husband liked to smoke a bit of marijuana, and sometimes he did it in their condo. She never tried it, because she knew that she had to keep herself as healthy as possible (though that didn't stop her diet coke addiction), but of course if someone's smoking near you you get a contact high. He had to stop that entirely, because if they found it in her system she would be booted.

My friend would be appalled at the idea that someone not clean and sober might have gotten a liver.

However, my friend was NOT a candidate for a live donation liver, so it's an entirely different thing. But actually I think it would almost be worse, especially if you know the donor, if someone couldn't kick their habits and made the donor's living sacrifice worthless...

Not trying to hijack this thread but this is the first time I've ever heard this. What is this about? Is it because you're vegan or something or is it a medical issue or allergy? Just wondering.

Vegetarian. Nasty idea for my family, to have a gelatin based capsule. And since the kid's liquid antibiotic is pink colored, that means food dyes (and probably a red one), which DS couldn't have either, plus no one could tell me what else is in the powder, and couldn't guarantee that there were no corn syrup solids (so when water is added it gets syrupy not just watery), and DS can't have that either. Thank goodness he could swallow pills already!

I would want my organs to go to the person who has the BEST chance of recovering and leading a good life. I don't care if the recipient would be an organ donor or not- I have a feeling that after receiving a second chance they and their family just might change their minds about donation. Not sure about donation to inmates though. I sure don't want to donate to a convicted murderer ahead of someone else.

And at least from my friend's experience, that is definitely what they are going for as well.

 

[Nancyg56]

I think that organ donation is a very personal decision. I am a donor but DH and DS are not and I must respect that decision. I also expect them to honor mine. DH simply feels he cannot and DS has a fear that he may not be cared for appropriately if he was a donor.

In my opinion there is not a right decision or a selfish one, how can anyone determine the correct path for another? Make your own decision, make sure that those you love know what that choice is.

 

[pigletgirl]

I am an organ donor, and wouldn't hesitate at all to give something to someone after I'm gone.

The transplant teams are very good about keeping you 'alive' until its time for harvest.

 

[Inigo]

To go on the liver transplant list, my friend had to have bloodwork for drugs done every few months. When she first went on the list, she was married, and her husband liked to smoke a bit of marijuana, and sometimes he did it in their condo. She never tried it, because she knew that she had to keep herself as healthy as possible (though that didn't stop her diet coke addiction), but of course if someone's smoking near you you get a contact high. He had to stop that entirely, because if they found it in her system she would be booted.

As far as the research shows, cannabinoids aren't going to show up in your urine drug screen by being around a pot smoker unless you (the non-smoker) is in an air-tight room so smoke filled with pot smoke that you wouldn't be able to see your hand in front of your face. At least that's what all the testing labs tell us.

 

[C.Ann]

As far as the research shows, cannabinoids aren't going to show up in your urine drug screen by being around a pot smoker unless you (the non-smoker) is in an air-tight room so smoke filled with pot smoke that you wouldn't be able to see your hand in front of your face. At least that's what all the testing labs tell us.

Most in the medical profession would agree.. A "contact high" would be highly unlikely in the scenario presented regarding the woman needing a liver transplant..

However, it's often used by parents; teachers; policemen; etc., as a "scare tactic"..

 

[Inigo]

Most in the medical profession would agree.. A "contact high" would be highly unlikely in the scenario presented regarding the woman needing a liver transplant..

However, it's often used by parents; teachers; policemen; etc., as a "scare tactic"..

I've had probationers try to tell me their positive screen was a contact high. I just laugh and tell them I want the truth. They usually confess to actually smoking, although there are a few holdouts who continue to insist they never smoked.

I'm still trying to figure out the kid who thought we'd believe a contact high for his positive for morphine.