Why would they do this--sports team related?

[Topper]

Ds12 tolerates his older sister, and she tolerates him. Dd7 and dd9 are best friends, and hate to be apart from each other.

You should update the ages in your signature.

 

[Mermaid02]

"Why would they do this-- sports team related?"

Their reasons are theirs and really, not anyone else's business. There is NOTHING you can do about it. Speculation will do you no good. Let it go- in the end it really doesn't matter. Golf is a game....... plain and simple.

 

[AshleyW]

"Why would they do this-- sports team related?"

Their reasons are theirs and really, not anyone else's business. There is NOTHING you can do about it. Speculation will do you no good. Let it go- in the end it really doesn't matter. Golf is a game....... plain and simple.

Oh no, now you did it..

 

[Mermaid02]

Oh no, now you did it..

I'll go further, high school sports- unimportant in the end. Family- very important all the way through.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

high school sports- unimportant in the end.

Far from it.

The Benefits of Youth Sports

Excerpted from The Young Athlete: A Sports Doctor's Complete Guide for Parents
By Jordan D. Metzl, M.D., Carol Shookhoff, Ph.D.

Jordan D. Metzl, M.D., is the medical director of the Sports Medicine Institute for Young Athletes at the Hospital for Special Surgery in New York City. A Medical contributor to CBS News, he has published widely in the field of sports medicine and speaks regularly to medical and parent groups both in the United States and around the world. A former college soccer player, Dr. Metzl is a seventeen-time marathon runner and two-time Ironman triathlete.

Carol Shookhoff, Ph.D., writes frequently on educational issues. She is the mother of a teenage soccer player who also plays basketball and lacrosse and runs track

Amateur sports used to mean varsity and JV teams in high school and college, but today more than thirty million kids play on a wide range of recreational and competitive or select teams at younger and younger ages. Parents want to encourage safe sports for their children, both on the field and off. Whether your athlete is a five-year-old beginner or the star of a varsity team, The Young Athlete provides guidance on everything from working with the coach to preventing and treating sports-related injuries.

MENS SANA IN CORPORE SANO (A SOUND MIND IN A SOUND BODY)

Sports are for fun, but they also offer benefits and lessons that carry
over into all aspects of life.

When kids are asked why they play sports, here's what they say:

To have fun
To improve their skills
To learn new skills
To be with their friends
To make new friends
To succeed or win
To become physically fit

Kids usually get the benefits they seek from sports and more. Kids need attention and respect (in that order), but they have few ways to get them. What is unique about sports is that they offer kids an arena where they can earn attention and respect by exerting their natural abilities. Kids are good at sports because sports are essentially about speed, strength, coordination, vision, creativity, and responsiveness-the necessary physical attributes are the attributes of youth.

Given that athletics involves all aspects of the human being, it is not surprising that participants benefit in all of the areas they mention. According to researchers at the Institute for the Study of Youth Sports at Michigan State University, kids who participate in organized sports do better in school, have better interpersonal skills, are more team oriented, and are generally healthier.

Participation in sports provides opportunities for leadership and socialization, as well as the development of skills for handling success and failure.

Moreover, when playing games, children learn how rules work. They see how groups need rules to keep order, that the individual must accept the rules for the good of the group, that rules entail a consideration of the rights of others. They also learn about competition, but within a restricted and safe system where the consequences of losing are minimized.

Benefits for girls have been of particular interest to researchers. The President's Council on Physical Fitness and Sports reports many developmental benefits of participating in youth sports for girls, including increased self-esteem and self-confidence, healthier body image, significant experiences of competency and success, as well as reduced risk of chronic disease. Furthermore, female athletes "do better academically and have lower school dropout rates than their nonathletic counterparts."

The Women's Sports Foundation lists many ways that sports specifically benefit female athletes. These include their being less likely to become pregnant as teenagers, less likely to begin smoking, more likely to quit smoking, more likely to do well in science, and more likely to graduate from high school and college than female nonathletes. Female athletes also take greater pride in their physical and social selves than their sedentary peers; they are more active physically as they age; they suffer less depression. There is also some evidence that recreational physical activity decreases a woman's chances of developing breast cancer and helps prevent osteoporosis.

I am convinced that sports offer a unique arena in which children can successfully exert their talents. The arena is unique for two reasons. First, sports engage the child as a complete human being: all facets-not just physical, but also social, cognitive, and psychological-are engaged harmoniously in striving toward peak fulfillment. Second, sports involve youths working in an ongoing community composed of their peers as well as their peers' families. Sports, that is, offer children an exhilarating, satisfying, rewarding way to participate in a larger world not generally accessible to nonathletes.

Physical Benefits

Fitness. Kids who play sports develop general physical fitness in a way that's fun, and they establish lifelong habits for good health. This is particularly important at a time when obesity in the United States has reached epidemic proportions: the incidence of obesity has increased by more than 50 percent among America's children and teens since 1976 and continues to grow at a staggering rate!

Stress relief. Sports allow kids to clear their minds of academic and social pressures, to literally run off the tension that's accumulated in their muscles. In the words of one patient, "If you play really hard, you feel better because playing takes your mind off things that bother you, and afterwards you can concentrate better." Most doctors recognize the positive mental effect of physical exertion, even though we're not sure exactly why this is so. I know that my ability to study in college and medical school was greatly enhanced when I ran during the day, and I'm not the only athlete to find this true. Many athletes get better grades in-season (theories posit the discipline and the need to manage time, along with an increased ability to concentrate). During exams, Duke University opens its gyms twenty-four hours a day to provide stress relief for its students.

Mastery. Sports give kids a satisfying, enjoyable way to develop their own talents: through personal effort they get good at something they're interested in. Doing something well makes them feel good about themselves, but equally important, it teaches them about the process of how to improve and work more effectively. Learning a skill-to dribble left-handed, say, or to execute an effective second serve-entails a recognition that practice is essential and that improvement is incremental. The process of repetition teaches the athlete how to master a move and also how to experiment with different approaches to improve a skill. The feedback in sports is usually immediate and visible-does the ball go into the basket?-so that the athlete can change or repeat what she's doing and figure out how to get better. Not only that, the whole process of seeing practice lead to improvement gives kids a feeling of control, a feeling all too rare in their lives.

Healthy habits. Because sports increase an awareness of one's body and how it responds to different stimuli and circumstances, sports help prevent drug and alcohol abuse. Most athletes value what their bodies can do and want to maintain those abilities. Being an athlete also gives kids an acceptable reason for telling their friends no to drugs, booze, and other high-risk, unhealthy behaviors. (Of course, not all athletes avoid drugs and alcohol.)

Personal Benefits

Valuing preparation. Sports help kids learn to distinguish between effort and ability. Sports increase self-discipline and the awareness of the value of preparation because kids can see the difference in their performance.

Competitive athletes learn the importance of effort, being prepared (mentally and physically), and enlightened risk-taking. They see that raw physical talent is not always sufficient to win the game, but that preparation is essential. This includes mental preparation (staying focused) and physical fitness as well as practicing the plays with their teammates in team sports. They learn to evaluate risk versus reward. Another invaluable lesson is discovering that mistakes are part of learning; they signal that a particular approach is unsuccessful and you must try another. Kids also learn to deal productively with criticism as part of improvement and preparation.

Resilience. Sports provide an unparalleled model for dealing with disappointment and misfortune. Young athletes learn to handle adversity, whether it's picking themselves up after losing a big game or not getting as many minutes as they wanted. They find ways to deal with losing and go on, because there's another big game next week or next year. They figure out what to do to get what they want for themselves. They put in extra time on fitness or work on specific weaknesses in their game (long-ball trapping, hitting to the opposite field, looking the ball into their hands).

Athletes also learn to deal with the physical and psychological effects of injury. I broke my jaw playing soccer and missed most of the season my junior year in high school. I went through the classic stages of grief, from "This can't be true" to ultimate acceptance. Two months of sitting out, waiting to heal, and dealing with physical and emotional pain was devastating. There were times early on when I sat in my bed whimpering from pain. But as time went on and my jaw began to heal, I somehow began to realize what almost all athletes in pain realize: the only person who is going to help you is yourself. You find the limits of what you can ask of yourself and know that you will deliver. This learning to get the best out of yourself carries over into all aspects of life. People can find their internal drive through training and hard work, but adversity really brings it out. In my case, I came back with stronger resolve. In my senior year I became an all-district soccer player and was propelled toward a college soccer career.

Attitude control. Older teens learn that a confident attitude improves their performance, and that they have some control over their attitude. They learn to disregard comparative stats in preparing for an opponent and instead to adopt "attitude enhancers" such as visualization exercises, team or individual rituals, singing specific songs together, or having dinner as a team the night before the game. Some might call these superstitions, others, self-fulfilling prophecies, but they work.

Leadership opportunities. Team sports offer kids a rare opportunity to serve as leaders. Kids can be in a position to assess the strengths and weaknesses of their various teammates and help to exploit their strengths and compensate for their weaknesses. They can minimize conflicts among players. They can reinforce values-such as fair play, teamsmanship, hard work, mental preparation-by speaking up when appropriate and setting a good example. They can also take the initiative in arranging for team dress on game days (football players wear their jerseys to class, female basketball players wear their warm-up pants), organizing team dinners or team movie nights, and inviting teachers and administrators to their games.

Identity and balance. Being part of a group is inordinately important to kids, and sports make kids feel like they belong, whether it's to the group of athletes in general or their team in particular. Sports also contribute to a teenager's sense of a stable identity with particular values. "I'm a football player" is a very different statement than "I play football." People are complicated, however; no individual is just one thing. It's better to encourage children-and adults-not to assume a single identity to the exclusion of all else.

Time management. Young athletes learn to manage their time productively. They know they have to get their homework done, so they learn not to waste time (some of them even quit watching television and hanging out at the mall). They plan ahead, so that big school projects don't catch them by surprise. They even figure out they have to eat well and get a good night's sleep. Countless athletes, in school and the workplace, say that being an athlete taught them discipline that is invaluable in their lives on and off the field.

Long-term thinking. Athletes learn the fundamental lesson of sacrificing immediate gratification for long-term gain. This is the basis for personal success as well as for civilization in general, and no lesson can be more valuable.

Social Benefits

Sports are a social activity. Team sports are obviously done with other people, but even individual sports are often done as a team (tennis, golf, track). All sports, however, are intended to be performed in front of others, and the social ramifications are many. Here are some of them.
Relationships with other kids. Athletes develop relationships with their teammates. For boys, sports are a primary, and unfortunately sometimes the sole, way of socializing with others. In many schools and communities, nonathletic males find it difficult to develop a social network at all. For girls, who according to the feminist theorist Carol Gilligan tend to define themselves through their relationships rather than their achievements, sports offer yet another way to make friends and create an alternate peer group.

According to Mike Nerney, a consultant in substance abuse prevention and education, multiple peer groups are always a good idea for teens, who have an intense need for inclusion and belonging, but who can also be volatile, cruel to each other, and foment destructive behavior as a group. Having a refuge when relations go wrong with one group can alleviate a great deal of stress and offer an alternative for kids who feel uncomfortable or frightened by peers who engage in high-risk activities.

Teamwork. On a team, kids learn about cooperation, camaraderie, give-and-take. They learn that while their natural position might be wide receiver, the team needs a cornerback, so they sacrifice their personal desires and play defense. They learn that you don't have to like someone in order to work together toward a common goal. They also discover that you can work for people you don't respect and still be productive, improve your skills, and have fun. A team is a natural environment in which to learn responsibility to others: you can't stay out carousing the night before a game; sometimes you need to pass up a party in order to show up and play well.

Kids learn these lessons from their teammates and, most important, a coach who encourages the good of the team over the needs of an individual player. This attitude is sometimes rare in today's sports climate, where what's glorified is to "be the man." I think the earlier the message is instilled about the good of the larger whole, the better for kids in the long run.

Diversity. Organized sports sponsored by clubs or youth leagues not affiliated with schools offer players an opportunity to meet a variety of kids from different backgrounds. Students from public, private, and parochial schools come together in a common enterprise, crossing socioeconomic and ethnic lines, so that over time all players broaden their sense of how other people live. The genuinely multicultural environment is of tremendous importance in our polarized society. Kids play on the same team, wear the same uniform, share the same objectives and experiences. Sports are a great equalizer: rich or poor, black, brown, or white, are irrelevant. What counts is talent and heart.

Relationships with adults. When coaches, parents, and kids see each other at practice and games week after week, year after year, the adults learn to admire and praise the kids' prowess and progress, even when kids are as young as third graders. This kind of attention helps youngsters learn to balance their own evaluation of their improving skills with the appraisal of others who are not blood relatives; they also begin the lifelong process of figuring out whom to listen to when they hear conflicting advice or assessments. In addition, for young athletes of all ages, attention from interested adults is not only flattering but also helps them overcome shyness and develop poise when talking to relative strangers in social situations. The ability to feel comfortable in a variety of social circumstances will be progressively more valuable in a world of multiple cultures and decreasing numbers of supportive communities.

Sports give kids an opportunity to spend ongoing periods of time with an adult in a shared endeavor. Indeed, kids may spend more time with their coach than with any other adult in their lives, especially if they're on a school team or a club team that practices two or more times a week. Ideally this coach cares about them as whole beings rather than particular talents who can run for touchdowns or block opponents' shots. To thrive, kids need to be with adults who want them to do well in a variety of endeavors, who notice their improvements and hard work, who manifest sound values, and who don't pay attention to them solely because of their contributions to the win column.

The coach-player relationship can be very strong, and even parentlike. Coaches of young athletes take on a tremendous responsibility to set a good example and treat their players respectfully. Thankfully, most coaches take this responsibility very seriously.

Sometimes, the coach-player relationship can even be life-saving. A female coach of a varsity boys' team reported that one of her players came to her saying, "I need to talk to you. I found blood in my urine."

"Let me ask you something," the coach replied. "Have you been having unprotected sex?"

"No, of course not. I can't believe you asked me that," he said. "Well, I need to know what direction to take you in. No matter what happened, you need to see a doctor."

The coach recalled, "This boy was very good looking and very popular. I knew what was going on. The doctor found he had picked up a venereal disease which could have made him infertile. The boy called me from the doctor's office to say thank you."

Participating in a community. Sports foster a sense of community: they give both participants and spectators the experience of belonging to something larger than themselves, the need for which seems to be hard-wired into the human brain. This is why kids love playing for their schools, why high school football games in small cities can draw tens of thousands of spectators week after week, and why adults identify with their college teams years after they have graduated. Playing for an institution or a community gives kids a chance to feel that they are making a genuine contribution to a larger group.

Highs and Lows

Sports can actually change the physiology of athletes and fans. Physical exertion can raise the level of pheronemes and endorphins, brain chemicals that cause exhilaration. Exercise can also elevate the serum testosterone level, which makes the heart beat faster. Spectators can feel depressed when their team loses and elated when their team wins. They, too, undergo physiological changes when watching their team: fans of the winning team experience an increase in testosterone, whereas supporters of the losers undergo a decrease in testosterone.

When playing for school or club teams, young athletes are afforded the opportunity to see how grownups and children treat one another and how this treatment has long-term consequences. They can see which adults care about kids, are willing to do their fair share and more, and take a stand for what they believe in. They see which parents are cooperative-pitching in to help with snacks, driving their kids' teammates to games, serving as team treasurer, volunteering to line the fields on cold, rainy mornings. They hear parents screaming at the officials and recognize which ones know the rules and which don't. They see who supports their own children and others, who bullies their children or the officials. They see parents who teach their children to assume they are always right, are better than the other players, and that someone else, anyone else, is always at fault if things go wrong. They also see how the kids in these families emulate or reject their parents' behavior. They think about how they will treat their own children and how they will behave with their friends as members of groups.

One hockey father says, "Part of the benefit of sports is that children observe its complex social dynamic among coaches, parents, players, and officials. There's a wide range of ethics, such as the attitude toward authority. Do you try to abide by the spirit of the rules, get away with what you can, accept what an official says, or do you argue and yell at him, or complain about it? Another major element they encounter is the difference between teammates who are good at communicating and sharing versus those who are out to get what they can for themselves. This is a dichotomy adults face throughout life. Kids involved in sports have to consciously or subconsciously figure out where they fit into those various spectrums."

Participating for years on the same team not only improves the play, because the players learn each other's strengths and weaknesses and where they'll be on the field or court, but it gives kids a wider view of the world and the people in it.

Similarities of Sports and the Arts

Are the benefits of sports unique? Many have noted that the arts produce many of the same benefits as sports, for both participant and spectator.
Sports entail all elements of human life-physical, emotional, cognitive, social-but in a simplified, orderly form. Sports boil life down to competition governed by agreed-upon rules. The opponents are known, the goals clear and quantifiable. Athletes practice the skills necessary to excel and gain a sense of control and mastery. Sports are a public performance, which fosters a sense of community among people-participants as well as spectators-who would otherwise be strangers. At their best, they produce a sense of exhilaration.

The arts are the other significant leisure activity that distills life down to simpler forms. The arts simplify life by selecting and arranging certain elements to create a unified, expressive whole. They too are intended for an audience. The performing arts, dance in particular, have much in common with sports: they take place outside of everyday life, the activities are physical and demand practice, and performance can produce exhilaration and a sense of community.

What makes sports different from the arts is that they demand a spontaneous response to surprise. A dance is choreographed; the dancers know what they are to do at every moment. A game has set plays, but the athletes must respond to what their opponents do, or to the unexpected bounce of the ball. The denouement of the game is uncertain, often until its final seconds. This combination of total human exertion with an environment that balances control, spontaneity, and uncertainty leads to the unique excitement and satisfaction of sports, for both athletes and spectators.

* As with most spheres of human endeavor, the benefits of sports can easily turn into deficits. Moderation is, as the Greeks pointed out, the key to wisdom. Many in the athletic community worry that youth sports have become too serious, and that the win-at-all-costs mentality has become the reality today. Youth sports shouldn't be an obsession that excludes other areas of life (academics, the arts, community service, family life, religious training). Sports should be just one arena of many in which kids have a chance to express themselves and have fun.

When winning is overvalued, the idea of sportsmanship and fair play disappears, as does concern for the whole child. When only a kid's athletic talent is important, her character development, her academic performance and needs, her long-term physical health, the development of her skills at other positions on a team are neglected. The pressure to be a winner may push some young athletes toward unsafe performance-enhancing drugs or body-building supplements. Furthermore, when winning is the prime value, the public nature of sports can turn sour. An athlete who is not playing well or makes a mistake may feel humiliation and shame because she knows everyone is watching.

Being a member of a team can become destructive if the players turn arrogant and fall into an us-them mentality, seeing opponents as the enemy and treating their nonathletic peers as inferior or contemptible. Furthermore, if a teenager overidentifies as an athlete, he will be ignoring other interests at a time when he should be broadening rather than narrowing his horizons.

College and professional sports have become corrupted by the win-at-all-costs mentality, and this corruption is intensified by big-money contracts for winning players, coaches, and organizations. Loyalty, camaraderie, sportsmanship, the joy of mastering skills- these values all too often disappear when "winning is the only thing." If they remain uninfected by the toxins of winning at all costs and instead focus on effort and fair play, youth sports can be beautiful, exciting, and fun. They can provide kids with an extraordinary opportunity to express their talents and their character, to run around screaming and laughing with joy.

The job of parents and coaches of young athletes is to maximize the benefits and minimize the deficits of youth sports by keeping a long-term perspective and helping kids do the same.

http://www.enotalone.com/article/22185.html

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

Email I received from DS's soccer coach (premiere league), the one who feels that in sports the following order applies: family, school, sports.

Estimated Probability of Competing in Athletics Beyond the High School Interscholastic Level

Men's Basketball
Less than one in 35, or approximately 3.1 percent of high school senior boys playing interscholastic basketball will go on to play men's basketball at a NCAA member institution.
About one in 75, or approximately 1.2 percent of NCAA male senior basketball players will get drafted by a National Basketball Association (NBA) team.
Three in 10,000, or approximately 0.03 percent of high school senior boys playing interscholastic basketball will eventually be drafted by an NBA team.

Women's Basketball
Approximately three in 100, or 3.5 percent of high school senior girls interscholastic basketball players will go on to play women's basketball at a NCAA member institution.
Less than one in 100, or approximately 0.9 percent of NCAA female senior basketball players will get drafted by a Women's National Basketball Association (WNBA) team.
One in 5,000, or approximately 0.03 percent of high school senior girls playing interscholastic basketball will eventually be drafted by a WNBA team.

Football
Approximately 5.8 percent, or less than one in 17 of all high school senior boys playing interscholastic football will go on to play football at a NCAA member institution.
Approximately one in 50, or 1.7 percent of NCAA senior football players will get drafted by a National Football League (NFL) team.
Eight in 10,000, or approximately 0.08 percent of high school senior boys playing interscholastic football will eventually be drafted by an NFL team.

Baseball
Approximately three in 50, or about 6.3 percent of high school senior boys interscholastic baseball players will go on to play men's baseball at a NCAA member institution.
Approximately nine in 100, or about 9.1 percent of NCAA senior male baseball players will get drafted by a Major League Baseball (MLB) team.
Approximately one in 200, or 0.44 percent of high school senior boys playing interscholastic baseball will eventually be drafted by an MLB team.

Men's Ice Hockey
Approximately 11 in 100, or about 11.0 percent of high school senior boys interscholastic ice hockey players will go on to play men's ice hockey at a NCAA member institution.
One in 27, or about 3.6 percent of NCAA senior male ice hockey players will get drafted by a National Hockey League (NHL) team.
Less than one in 300, or approximately 0.31 percent of high school senior boys playing interscholastic ice hockey will eventually be drafted by an NHL team.

Men's Soccer
Less than three in 50, or about 5.6 percent of high school senior boys interscholastic soccer players will go on to play men's soccer at an NCAA member institution.
Less than one in 50, or about 1.6 percent of NCAA senior male soccer players will be drafted by a Major League Soccer (MLS) team.
Approximately one in 1,250, or about 0.07 percent of high school senior boys playing interscholastic soccer will eventually be drafted by an MLS team.

Methodology
To calculate the estimated probability of competing in athletics beyond the high school interscholastic level, data from several sources were combined. First, the estimated number of high school student-athletes participating interscholastically in the sports having a major professional league in the United States was obtained from the National Federation of State High School Associations. To calculate the number of high school seniors participating interscholastically in those sports, the total number of high school student-athletes participating was divided by 3.5. This figure was used because some high schools are three-year high schools while others are four-year high schools.

The estimated number of NCAA student-athletes competing in the sports with major professional leagues in the United States was obtained from the NCAA's 1982-08 Participation Statistics Report. To estimate the number of NCAA roster positions in these sports available to an incoming freshmen class, the total number of NCAA student-athletes participating was divided by 3.5. This figure was used because current player attrition will leave more roster positions open than would be expected due to normal graduation. To estimate the number of NCAA senior student-athletes participating in those sports, the total number of NCAA student-athletes participating was divided by 4.5. This figure was used because student-athletes participating in these sports often red shirt and therefore are on the team for five years. The number of college student-athletes drafted by the major professional sport leagues in the United States was calculated using the most recent draft data for each league.

To calculate the probability of a high school senior going on to participate for an NCAA institution in these sports, the estimated number of open NCAA roster positions was divided by the estimated number of high school seniors participating interscholastically in these sports. To calculate the probability of a NCAA senior student-athlete being drafted by a professional team in these sports, the number of NCAA student-athletes drafted into these professional leagues was divided by the estimated number of NCAA senior student-athletes participating in these sports. To calculate the probability of a high school senior student-athlete eventually being drafted by a professional team in these sports, the number of NCAA senior student-athletes drafted by a United States professional league in these sports was divided by the estimated number of high school seniors participating interscholastically in these sports. All probabilities were multiplied by 100 to convert them to percentages.

Obviously, many assumptions and estimations are made in the process of calculating these figures. Therefore, the reader should not consider these figures to be exact, but instead should view these figures as educated calculations.

© 2010 The National Collegiate Athletic Association

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Tinker'n'Fun,

Benefits to playing sports in formative years and

probablility of playing beyond high school

= two completely different concepts.

If you're trying to reiterate the concept of family, school, sports, great.

I've already said that I believe they do not need to be mutually exclusive.

We can probably both move on now (where's that beating the dead horse smilie? )...

(Thanks FD)

I doubt anyone here is going to change their beliefs.

 

[FireDancer]

We can probably both move on now (where's that beating the dead horse smilie? )...

Here you go:

 

[luvmy3]

Pea-n-me, you officially win the DIS aard for the longest post ever!!!

Tinker, you come in a close second!!

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Pea-n-me, you officially win the DIS aard for the longest post ever!!!

Thank you! Thank you!

I'd like to thank the Academy - er, never mind.



And thanks, Fire Dancer, for the smilie. I edited my above post.

 

[mumom95]

It really depends. In the case of my dd giving a speech, he would be there. Now, if it was a big game, and his team needed him (ie - he is goalie on his soccer team, and there is only one backup goalie), and my dd was just receiving a diploma, I'd probably let him go to the game if he wanted. And yes, certain things trump others. With the exception of my oldest, my kids WANT to go see their siblings play and perform. But sometimes they have their own activities at the same time, and would rather go to them.

Thanks for answering. For the most part I agree with you. If it's what is considered a big ceremony and the other kid's commitment is not a big event, they will forgo their activity for the other's (even if they don't want to). But if neither one is what we consider a big deal, we leave it up more to the kids.

But everyone's family dynamics are different, so I'm sure I could ask this same question to 10 people and get 5 different answers.

 

[FireDancer]

And thanks, Fire Dancer, for the smilie. I edited my above post.

 

[golfgal]

Email I received from DS's soccer coach (premiere league), the one who feels that in sports the following order applies: family, school, sports.

Estimated Probability of Competing in Athletics Beyond the High School Interscholastic Level

Men's Basketball
Less than one in 35, or approximately 3.1 percent of high school senior boys playing interscholastic basketball will go on to play men's basketball at a NCAA member institution.
About one in 75, or approximately 1.2 percent of NCAA male senior basketball players will get drafted by a National Basketball Association (NBA) team.
Three in 10,000, or approximately 0.03 percent of high school senior boys playing interscholastic basketball will eventually be drafted by an NBA team.

Women's Basketball
Approximately three in 100, or 3.5 percent of high school senior girls interscholastic basketball players will go on to play women's basketball at a NCAA member institution.
Less than one in 100, or approximately 0.9 percent of NCAA female senior basketball players will get drafted by a Women's National Basketball Association (WNBA) team.
One in 5,000, or approximately 0.03 percent of high school senior girls playing interscholastic basketball will eventually be drafted by a WNBA team.

Football
Approximately 5.8 percent, or less than one in 17 of all high school senior boys playing interscholastic football will go on to play football at a NCAA member institution.
Approximately one in 50, or 1.7 percent of NCAA senior football players will get drafted by a National Football League (NFL) team.
Eight in 10,000, or approximately 0.08 percent of high school senior boys playing interscholastic football will eventually be drafted by an NFL team.

Baseball
Approximately three in 50, or about 6.3 percent of high school senior boys interscholastic baseball players will go on to play men's baseball at a NCAA member institution.
Approximately nine in 100, or about 9.1 percent of NCAA senior male baseball players will get drafted by a Major League Baseball (MLB) team.
Approximately one in 200, or 0.44 percent of high school senior boys playing interscholastic baseball will eventually be drafted by an MLB team.

Men's Ice Hockey
Approximately 11 in 100, or about 11.0 percent of high school senior boys interscholastic ice hockey players will go on to play men's ice hockey at a NCAA member institution.
One in 27, or about 3.6 percent of NCAA senior male ice hockey players will get drafted by a National Hockey League (NHL) team.
Less than one in 300, or approximately 0.31 percent of high school senior boys playing interscholastic ice hockey will eventually be drafted by an NHL team.

Men's Soccer
Less than three in 50, or about 5.6 percent of high school senior boys interscholastic soccer players will go on to play men's soccer at an NCAA member institution.
Less than one in 50, or about 1.6 percent of NCAA senior male soccer players will be drafted by a Major League Soccer (MLS) team.
Approximately one in 1,250, or about 0.07 percent of high school senior boys playing interscholastic soccer will eventually be drafted by an MLS team.

Methodology
To calculate the estimated probability of competing in athletics beyond the high school interscholastic level, data from several sources were combined. First, the estimated number of high school student-athletes participating interscholastically in the sports having a major professional league in the United States was obtained from the National Federation of State High School Associations. To calculate the number of high school seniors participating interscholastically in those sports, the total number of high school student-athletes participating was divided by 3.5. This figure was used because some high schools are three-year high schools while others are four-year high schools.

The estimated number of NCAA student-athletes competing in the sports with major professional leagues in the United States was obtained from the NCAA's 1982-08 Participation Statistics Report. To estimate the number of NCAA roster positions in these sports available to an incoming freshmen class, the total number of NCAA student-athletes participating was divided by 3.5. This figure was used because current player attrition will leave more roster positions open than would be expected due to normal graduation. To estimate the number of NCAA senior student-athletes participating in those sports, the total number of NCAA student-athletes participating was divided by 4.5. This figure was used because student-athletes participating in these sports often red shirt and therefore are on the team for five years. The number of college student-athletes drafted by the major professional sport leagues in the United States was calculated using the most recent draft data for each league.

To calculate the probability of a high school senior going on to participate for an NCAA institution in these sports, the estimated number of open NCAA roster positions was divided by the estimated number of high school seniors participating interscholastically in these sports. To calculate the probability of a NCAA senior student-athlete being drafted by a professional team in these sports, the number of NCAA student-athletes drafted into these professional leagues was divided by the estimated number of NCAA senior student-athletes participating in these sports. To calculate the probability of a high school senior student-athlete eventually being drafted by a professional team in these sports, the number of NCAA senior student-athletes drafted by a United States professional league in these sports was divided by the estimated number of high school seniors participating interscholastically in these sports. All probabilities were multiplied by 100 to convert them to percentages.

Obviously, many assumptions and estimations are made in the process of calculating these figures. Therefore, the reader should not consider these figures to be exact, but instead should view these figures as educated calculations.

© 2010 The National Collegiate Athletic Association

I have to say that women's golf is the exception to this rule. Most colleges use women's golf as the equalizer for men's scholarships and offer quite a few scholarships for women's golf. In the past 3 years, ALL of the graduating seniors on DD's team have gone on to play college golf-at all 3 levels, DI,II, III. Heck, one of the second string JV players was offered a golf scholarship-she is attending a tiny Bible College in Iowa. The seniors this year could all play at the Division II or III level and be a contributing varsity player (would probably be the top player at DIII level) but one girl is going to Notre Dame and the other to the U of MN-they aren't DI caliber players. They are both looking to play intermural golf (which I didn't know either school has). The 3rd girl could still play golf in college if she chose. There are girls that can't break 100 that are getting golf scholarships.

 

[Mermaid02]

My point is- in the END (after high school) who is going to remember this one tournament? Who's life is this ONE tournament going to change forever? I have friends who played and won state championships- now that we are adults it matters SQUAT. It only still matters to those who hit their peak in high school.

Participating in high school sports- or band- or drama- or chess etc is great for a student- missing one tournament game is not the end of the world.

Frankly, I do think the girl should play. The fact is her parents made a decision, their reasons are theirs. She can't be forced to participate- get over it.

 

[Toad_Passenger]

My point is- in the END (after high school) who is going to remember this one tournament? Who's life is this ONE tournament going to change forever? I have friends who played and won state championships- now that we are adults it matters SQUAT. It only still matters to those who hit their peak in high school.

Participating in high school sports- or band- or drama- or chess etc is great for a student- missing one tournament game is not the end of the world.

Frankly, I do think the girl should play. The fact is her parents made a decision, their reasons are theirs. She can't be forced to participate- get over it.

In all fairness, Al Bundy remembered his High School Football accomplishments forever.

 

[luvmy3]

In all fairness, Al Bundy remembered his High School Football accomplishments forever.

And the uncle from Napolean Dynamite

 

[mjkacmom]

I have to say that women's golf is the exception to this rule. Most colleges use women's golf as the equalizer for men's scholarships and offer quite a few scholarships for women's golf. In the past 3 years, ALL of the graduating seniors on DD's team have gone on to play college golf-at all 3 levels, DI,II, III. Heck, one of the second string JV players was offered a golf scholarship-she is attending a tiny Bible College in Iowa. The seniors this year could all play at the Division II or III level and be a contributing varsity player (would probably be the top player at DIII level) but one girl is going to Notre Dame and the other to the U of MN-they aren't DI caliber players. They are both looking to play intermural golf (which I didn't know either school has). The 3rd girl could still play golf in college if she chose. There are girls that can't break 100 that are getting golf scholarships.

My cousin was an average HS student, but he played golf. Ended up getting a full ride in college on a golf scholarship. He became a CPA, and golfed (well). Ended up as a partner in a big 4 accounting firm, and has an annual salary of over 1/2 million dollars. He is 43. Lots of business goes on during golfing.

 

[robinb]

My point is- in the END (after high school) who is going to remember this one tournament? Who's life is this ONE tournament going to change forever? I have friends who played and won state championships- now that we are adults it matters SQUAT. It only still matters to those who hit their peak in high school.

Participating in high school sports- or band- or drama- or chess etc is great for a student- missing one tournament game is not the end of the world.

I am sure that telling your teen "Honey, when you're 45 years old with kids of your own you'll see that missing out on going to the State Tournament isn't the end of the world." will be cold comfort. According to the OP, the other kids are upset. NOT just the OP and her DD.

FWIW, I am far more annoyed for the other seniors on the team who are not already sitting pretty with a soccer scholarship. Golfgal is right that Title IX pumps a lot of money into women's sports on the college level and golf is one of them. It does in fact mean SQUAT if those senior girls miss out on a scholarship offer because they missed the Championship Tournament because Miss #6 wasn't there to play. It appears that the JV girl is not the same caliber and they are now down to taking the best of 5 scores instead of 6. Miss I-Already-Got-Mine-#6 has left her team, and especially those seniors, at a disadvantage.

Frankly, I do think the girl should play. The fact is her parents made a decision, their reasons are theirs. She can't be forced to participate- get over it.

I wouldn't say "get over it" because that's a nasty way to put it, but I agree with your sentiment. The girl's family has made their choice and a party is more important to them than the team. The OP should "move on" and put on a happy face for her DD and the other kids on the team. They can still go to the Championship Tournament with Miss #6 as they have the top 5 kids there to crank out 4 good scores.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

My point is- in the END (after high school) who is going to remember this one tournament? Who's life is this ONE tournament going to change forever? I have friends who played and won state championships- now that we are adults it matters SQUAT. It only still matters to those who hit their peak in high school.

I agree with Robin, but I also think you are missing the bigger point. To be a part of something like that is to be revered because it isn't something that falls into you lap, it's earned through hard work and perserverance, sometimes excruciatingly so. Playing is a priveledge, an honor, a right. For a young man or woman, it can indeed be formative, inspirational, driving. You blow it off, you lose opportunity. You let people down. You give up. You don't care. You ultimately lose integrity.

When balancing the positives with the negatives here, it doesn't make sense not to see it through.

Bottom line is that this girl made her choice, and that choice speaks volumes about her character. And I don't care who's coming to the party.

 

[luvsJack]

Golf must be different but in baseball scholarships are not based on whether the team makes it to state, its how the PLAYER plays that gets the scholarship. There are very talented players on very weak teams and one player cannot take any team to state.

If these girls have a chance in getting a scholarship, its on them not on the choice of another player.

I also do not think it is fair to judge this girl's character over one choice (and only one side of the story on that choice). I hardly believe that we are all so perfect that none of us have ever had a lapse in judgement, especially as a senior in high school.

Sports are great and wonderful. They teach great life lessons and can help provide an education. I wouldn't trade anything in the world for DS's years of baseball. And I am thankful that he learned the lessons he did from it. But I don't think that sports are the end all and be all and I don't think that any kid should be expected to give up their life to be on a team.