Why does he do that??

[Fishbone†]

Okay, yes, this is my parents' computer.... I don't have one, and I'm too cheap to pay for internet if I did, but in my defense, my parents wouldn't know how to turn it on if it weren't for me. I took a day off of work to go with them to buy it so they would get what they wanted, and more then enough time working with them so they can use it, and even more time just doing stuff for them on it.

So, I come in here to chat with you guys... mostly just lurking lately, and my dad will come in and sit down and watch. Now I wouldn't really mind (very much at least) if he would just watch... although, I am a pretty private person with a lot of need for down/alone time, but he doesn't just watch..... he reads and then says, "what's that about?", "who's that?", or worse yet, he'll pick out one word and say "birthday party?" like he has no idea what a birthday party is. It's so irritating. I don't want to explain, and I don't think he'd get it anyway.

So lately, I've just been clicking off of the DIS when he comes in and sits down. And then, we'll both just sit there staring at the desktop..... seriously..... if you are laughing at the mental picture of that, you should be. It's ridiculous. We'll sit there for 60 - 90 seconds, and I'll say "what are you looking at?" To which he may respond, "Oh I was just reading that". What "that" is, I have yet to figure out, and why it takes him so long to read "that", I have given up ever knowing. I don't want to make him feel bad, and I think I do sometimes, but I don't want him there at that moment, and I don't understand why he insists on coming in time after time and what it is he's looking for. Sometimes, I feel like a horrid person for being so intolerant of others and for needing so much personal space. Right now, quite frankly I feel so defeated and so horrible, and so close to tears, but being around people just depleats me of energy.....and then I get crabby. Is there anything I can do to change that?

 

[Dan Murphy]

Can I give you a {hug}, Heidi, or would I be 'crowding' you.

I think I can understand what you are saying, sounds kind of normal to me. You're fine, Fish.

 

[DocRafiki]

but being around people just depleats me of energy.....and then I get crabby. Is there anything I can do to change that?

Hmmm... I take drugs for that. They don't work as well as I'd like.

 

[debster812]

Oh Heidi

I'm sorry. I think it is a totally normal way to feel. (doesn't make it any better, I know)

Sorry silly one.

{{{hugs}}} to you

 

[Saffron]

It sounds like he's really interested in either the DIS or the Internet. Why not teach him how to surf the net, even find a "safe" community that he would find enjoyable. Then you can say to him, "Dad do you mind if we set up some time to share the computer so I can spend some time with my friends without interfering with your time?" That should do it!

 

[C.Ann]

First of all, let me say that I too am a person who needs a LOT of personal space and can get pretty darn cranky when I don't get it.. Although I sometimes enjoy being around others, for the most part I tend to be a loner and have become very comfortable with keeping myself entertained without the assistance of outside interference.. I don't think there's anything abnormal about that - or your particular need for it either.. Some people are just geared that way and others aren't.. Don't feel bad - it's just your personality.. From what I have read of your posts on the DIS you are a very kind, considerate, and caring person.. You just happen to be a private person.. No problem there..

As for your dad, it almost sounds as though he's kind of interested in surfing the net and is maybe a bit embarassed to ask for your help.. Why not just come right out and ask him (in a kind way, of course) why he comes in and sits next to you when you're trying to DIS? Explain that we are your cyber friends and while there is nothing sinister going on, you DO like to chat in private - much the same as you would not appreciate someone eavesdropping on your "real" life conversations.. Maybe he'll "fess up" as to why he's sitting there and then you won't have to feel so frustrated anymore.. Just a thought..

Meanwhile, I'm sending you a hug - from one loner to another..