Why do you home school?

[Princess_Michelle]

I voted for both Bad School System and Other. My son is only 3, we are just starting to HS.

BSS: I belong to the group that doesn't agree with the rigorous schedules and demands put on elementary school kids. I do not want my child spending 3/4 of his childhood sitting in a sterile classroom for 6 + hours, chained to a desk, only to come home and spend even more time on homework, when he should be outside being a kid. We also have family all over the country, and I don't believe that the school system has the right to tell me that I can only visit them during school breaks or threaten to fail my child just b/c we go visit family when it works for us. That is BS. I had never even considered public school; we found a great private school, but they still demanded a lot for young kids and didn't like too many absences. However, we do believe that by the time DS is ready for high school, we will put him in said private school, b/c he will be at the age where he needs to seriously prepare for college/adulthood and should be exposed to that environment. That may change, but for now, that's what we think.

OTHER: My DH and I are both Chinese linguists and I majored in Spanish in college. I have an aptitude for (and love) foreign langauges. I want my child to be ATLEAST bilingual. Even the awesome PS we picked out doesn't start Foreign Language until 6th grade. However, the BEST time to learn FL is in early childhood. I realized there is no way I could force my young child to put in extra time learning one (or two) extra languages after spending all day in school and doing homework to boot. So I said, screw them, I can do a WAY better job with his eduacation than they can, and here we are

I am very lucky in that we are planning to set aside all the money we would have spent on PS tuition (plus some) for his home school education. At any time we'll be able to pick up and go "on location". Cross country road trips to help with Geography. Trips to Jamestown and Gettysburg for History. Homeschool trips and cruises. Trips to Greece when learning about Greek Mythology...you get the idea. While his peers are reading about stuff, he'll be experienceing it firsthand. Plus, we live just outside of DC, so we have all the museums and such at our disposal. He will also have the time to pursue any and all extracurriculars (sports, music, art, etc.) that he is interested in w/o being overtired from being overworked. So, yeah, for me, there is no way I would do anything else.

 

[Princess_Michelle]

I should also add that going to Disney on the off season is GREAT icing on the cake. I recently discovered that they even have Home School Days

 

[RealMickeysGirl]

I don't have any kids so the questions don't apply to me but I did have one of my own.

What is unschooling? I haven't heard of that - I have heard of someone who dropped out or never went to school as beening unschooled but I don't think that is what you mean.

Thanks

 

[fan_of_small_world]

What is unschooling? I haven't heard of that - I have heard of someone who dropped out or never went to school as beening unschooled but I don't think that is what you mean.

Thanks

I didn't know either. Here's what wikipedia says (I'm sure others here can elaborate, though!).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unschooling

 

[Cruz91]

Our DD started K this year. I have never thought HS was a good option, but after just a few weeks, I can at least understand why some choose to do so. She is already reading level 3 plus books, while there are some kids in her class who, and I can't believe this, don't know their alphabet! They do not ability group the children until mid-year, so she's essentially wasting the whole first half of the year.

My view, however, is that my wife (who was a primary teacher for seven years prior to staying home with the kids) and I can supplement her learning at home by being supportive parents and challenging her to read / write / do real-world math problems. My wife is perfectly capable of HS'ing (which is why DD is way ahead of the curve now), but to me - school is as much about socialization as book learning. The fact of the matter is that there are stupid rules, incompetent colleagues, and unreasonable demands everywhere you turn as an adult. The sooner my kids realize that (and realize the need to excel), they'll be better off for it.

Bottom line - the teachers will do what they do (usually teach to the lowest common denominator), and we will do what we do (supplement education in a very open, unstructured, supportive home environment).

 

[Nikel]

That wiki article is actually pretty good.

Here's another article that I feel describes it pretty well, though different parents may have a different description that fits their life better. http://www.holtgws.com/whatisunschoolin.html

 

[CraftyMouse]

I chose "Other".

We originally began homeschooling because DD was ahead of grade level and we did not want to skip her a grade or two (the schools suggestion). Since we were already homeschooling DD we kept DS home as well. I have a degree in Early Childhood Educaiton so homeschooling was not a scary thing for me.

So basically we homeschool because our child wasn't challenged, but there are so many other positives to it for us. We love the fact that the kids can learn at their own pace. We have given them many, many social opportunities and both are involved in the fantastic homeschool teen group we have in the area. They have activities twice a month including a semi-formal/prom every Spring.

DD15 will be graduating from high school in June. (We have purchased a school program for her since the middle school years.) She will be going to community college next fall and then starting traditional college at 18. DS will follow a similar path.

Homeschooling has been an absolutely wonderful experience for us and I am so glad we chose to do it.

 

[meandtheguys2]

The fact of the matter is that there are stupid rules, incompetent colleagues, and unreasonable demands everywhere you turn as an adult. The sooner my kids realize that (and realize the need to excel), they'll be better off for it.

I disagree, for the record. I don't think that a second grade kid needs the experience of a "stupid rules, incompetent colleagues, and unreasonable demands". I think that they need consistency, competent role models, and reasonable demands. Why on earth shouldn't that be the expectation or at least the goal. It is like saying that a kid needs to learn to deal with bullies at 7 so they can survive the work world.

Life has frustrations, disagreements, and unfair qualities, whether you are in a small familial group or in a large peer based group. Best friends still let you down, pets still die, siblings still get privileges one doesn't believe they should. Being in an environment where you are encouraged to grow and learn from these difficulties is a positive thing, IMO. Maturity needs to be reached to be able to handle the problems of this world. Not just practice.

 

[Nikel]

I disagree, for the record. I don't think that a second grade kid needs the experience of a "stupid rules, incompetent colleagues, and unreasonable demands". I think that they need consistency, competent role models, and reasonable demands. Why on earth shouldn't that be the expectation or at least the goal. It is like saying that a kid needs to learn to deal with bullies at 7 so they can survive the work world.

Life has frustrations, disagreements, and unfair qualities, whether you are in a small familial group or in a large peer based group. Best friends still let you down, pets still die, siblings still get privileges one doesn't believe they should. Being in an environment where you are encouraged to grow and learn from these difficulties is a positive thing, IMO. Maturity needs to be reached to be able to handle the problems of this world. Not just practice.

I agree.

And let me just add that being homeschooled doesn't mean no socialization.

 

[disneymom3]

My view, however, is that my wife (who was a primary teacher for seven years prior to staying home with the kids) and I can supplement her learning at home by being supportive parents and challenging her to read / write / do real-world math problems. My wife is perfectly capable of HS'ing (which is why DD is way ahead of the curve now), but to me - school is as much about socialization as book learning. The fact of the matter is that there are stupid rules, incompetent colleagues, and unreasonable demands everywhere you turn as an adult. The sooner my kids realize that (and realize the need to excel), they'll be better off for it.

Bottom line - the teachers will do what they do (usually teach to the lowest common denominator), and we will do what we do (supplement education in a very open, unstructured, supportive home environment).

For me though, it was about all of that wasted time. While DD was in K I began to think about the fact that she was spending all her time learning NOTHING and helping other kids figure out their worksheets. Ummm, not a good use of time. I figured if I was going to teach her at home, I might as well save her a lot of time and have the freedom of our own schedule. Yeah, we love going everywhere off season. Never ever do we travel in the summer or at spring break.

As for the social thing, it used to worry me and now it makes me laugh. There are soooo many opportunities for kids to experience stupid rules and incompetent colleagues, but I am pretty sure there are not any situations adults are invovled in that require them to sit with people during lunch time who they have nothing in common with except that their birthday falls in the same 9 month range. Besides, didn't ya read that thread the other day about kids not even being able to talk at lunch time??? Not very social! I know a couple of shy homeschooled kids. I know a couple of shy public schooled kids. Most kids I know though are fun loving, cheerful and outgoing. No matter where they go to school. I will say though, that I have never met an adult who was afraid to go to work, but I have known many children who were.

So, to the OP. We started because DD was bored. She is not only an advanced learner but she is an accelerated learner. It is very hard for her to spend three days reviewing something when she got it before it was even explained. Eventually she'll need to cope with that, but while she wants to learn and it eating it up, I may as well take advantage of it.

We continue however because we simply love it. This is our lifestyle. Some days are harder than others. We enjoy the time together, we enjoy the time to pursue individual interests, the time to be creative, DD enjoys her two hours a day on piano that she would not have time for otherwise, we love traveling and seeing new places in our own state together, we enjoy learning from other moms and dads and families.

I also do not believe that the majority of children learn in the same way and to be able to teach in a way that makes sense for them is important to me. I don't like teaching to the test and I value real life experiences over book experiences. I do not know if schools everywhere are like this but our schools are also very political here. They are quite liberal and fairly anti-religion. I think they should be neutral as I don't think that is the area they shoudl be teaching in and I think they are way too tolerant of misbehaviour. For instance, a boy in my DD's class spit on her several days in a row. He did not get in trouble because he had an IEP for behavior. Another boy in the same class used to throw chairs across the room and hit the teacher regularly. All of the kids in the class were afraid of him because if they didn't do what he wanted or give him what he wanted he would hurt them. He was there all year with no improvement. MN has a total mainstreamed education policy even if it's at the detriment to the other kids in the class.

 

[Princess_Michelle]

, but to me - school is as much about socialization as book learning. The fact of the matter is that there are stupid rules, incompetent colleagues, and unreasonable demands everywhere you turn as an adult. The sooner my kids realize that (and realize the need to excel), they'll be better off for it.

My DH was worried about the social aspect as well. However, I read a few articles addressing this topic that basically suggested that you can't really put too much into the whole "socialization" aspect. In the real world, it's not really common place to only work with people of your same age and backround. Kids in school are not really incouraged to socialize with people outside of their school year and/or clique's. Most (please notice the word most)kids that attend the same school have lived in the same area all their lives and come from the same cultural/ethnic backrounds. The ones that are different in any way generally form their own clique and stick to themselves. Poorer kids are picked on b/c of their clothes, while rich (and/or athletic) kids are idolized and treated better. In contrast, while in the workplace, you generally work with people of all ages, from all backrounds, cultures and/or ethnicities. You are generally judged by the work the you do, not the clothes you wear, or your athletic ability. And if you don't fit in and hate it, you can always find another job and/or move. But in school, once you are labeled, you're just kinda stuck in your social class (clique) and you can't just up and move very easily.

Then there is the whole fact that most of the time, you have to be quiet and pay attention, not much "socializing" going there.

Also, you also have to think about what NCLB is doing to our future generations. All they are generally taught is how to regurgitate facts so they can score well on tests. The teaching of thinking for yourself and other contructive and philosophical thinking is vastly disappearing and you have to wonder what effect that will have on the future....

Also, I do realize that kids need to learn about life, but I don't think kids should have to enter the rat race at 6 years old. They have the rest of their lives to worry about deadlines and incompetent colleagues. What's the rush?

Sorry, didn't want to start a debate or anything, just wanted to share. I hope this doesn't come across mean spirited, cause it wasn't meant to be

 

[Wishing on a star]

I voted for both Bad School System and Other.

BSS: I belong to the group that doesn't agree with the rigorous schedules and demands put on elementary school kids. I do not want my child spending 3/4 of his childhood sitting in a sterile classroom for 6 + hours, chained to a desk, only to come home and spend even more time on homework,

The above quote pretty well sums up one of the biggest reasons that I have pulled my son out of Public School.

The demands are almost ridiculous.

The school system is NOT good.

I see serious systemic problems with our educational system today.

And, the new principal is horrid. She wants the kids chained to their desks from the minute they arrive until the minute they leave. They are disciplined for having to go to the restroom outside of the 2 designated restroom breaks in the entire nearly 8 hour day. This principal and many educators have complete psychological control issues. And, the kids are suffering.

On top of that, all they can see are the 'objectives' and 'requirements'... It is like they have lost all sight of the fact that they are dealing with children. Young human beings.

The new principal at our school is running this elementary school like a juvenile detention center, or a high school or college under lockdown!!!

My son was learning only ONE thing in school... How to sit at a desk and suffer from so much anxiety that he could barely function.

On top of this, my son does have special needs. The school was refusing to do anything at all to make sure that he was learning to his potential. NCLB was having the opposit effect, and my son was being left behind!!! I can address his weaknesses, such as his math disability... where the school was just gonna roll over him and he would be like Charlie Chaplain stuck in the gear wheels.

I think the demands that the public school systems are putting on young children and their families are nothing less that abhorrant.

Many here know the issues that I have had with adversarial teachers, poor teachers, and educators who only know things from one perspective.. DISCIPLINE... Control and Discipline. Whether the methods and avenues are detrimental to the children's well being or not.

The bottom line is that I pulled my son out of Public School, because under the new Principal (and the administration that appointed this principal) I could no longer, in good conscience or good faith, send my son over there every day to be under their authority.

THAT is why I now homeschool.

 

[Peter Pirate 2]

Cool! What does she do? I always admire those kids with all that dedication at such young ages!

She's a tennis player and it keeps getting toughr and tougher!

 

[CraftyMouse]

For me though, it was about all of that wasted time. While DD was in K I began to think about the fact that she was spending all her time learning NOTHING and helping other kids figure out their worksheets. Ummm, not a good use of time. I figured if I was going to teach her at home, I might as well save her a lot of time and have the freedom of our own schedule. Yeah, we love going everywhere off season. Never ever do we travel in the summer or at spring break.

As for the social thing, it used to worry me and now it makes me laugh. There are soooo many opportunities for kids to experience stupid rules and incompetent colleagues, but I am pretty sure there are not any situations adults are invovled in that require them to sit with people during lunch time who they have nothing in common with except that their birthday falls in the same 9 month range. Besides, didn't ya read that thread the other day about kids not even being able to talk at lunch time??? Not very social! I know a couple of shy homeschooled kids. I know a couple of shy public schooled kids. Most kids I know though are fun loving, cheerful and outgoing. No matter where they go to school. I will say though, that I have never met an adult who was afraid to go to work, but I have known many children who were.

So, to the OP. We started because DD was bored. She is not only an advanced learner but she is an accelerated learner. It is very hard for her to spend three days reviewing something when she got it before it was even explained. Eventually she'll need to cope with that, but while she wants to learn and it eating it up, I may as well take advantage of it.

We continue however because we simply love it. This is our lifestyle. Some days are harder than others. We enjoy the time together, we enjoy the time to pursue individual interests, the time to be creative, DD enjoys her two hours a day on piano that she would not have time for otherwise, we love traveling and seeing new places in our own state together, we enjoy learning from other moms and dads and families.

I also do not believe that the majority of children learn in the same way and to be able to teach in a way that makes sense for them is important to me. I don't like teaching to the test and I value real life experiences over book experiences. I do not know if schools everywhere are like this but our schools are also very political here. They are quite liberal and fairly anti-religion. I think they should be neutral as I don't think that is the area they shoudl be teaching in and I think they are way too tolerant of misbehaviour. For instance, a boy in my DD's class spit on her several days in a row. He did not get in trouble because he had an IEP for behavior. Another boy in the same class used to throw chairs across the room and hit the teacher regularly. All of the kids in the class were afraid of him because if they didn't do what he wanted or give him what he wanted he would hurt them. He was there all year with no improvement. MN has a total mainstreamed education policy even if it's at the detriment to the other kids in the class.

Wow Julie! I could have written this. I feel exactly the same way about all you wrote.

The bottom line is that some people will never understand why we do what we do. I don't bother trying to argue with them. They believe there is one way to do things and that's fine for them. We choose to do things differently and adapt to fit our needs and that's fine for us. The public schools were not meeting our DD's needs and I saw no reason for her to stay there. She learns all about life (disappointments, failures, learning how to deal with disagreements, etc.) just as well as any traditionally-schooled child.

I don't ask anyone to agree with the choices I make. If they do, great. If not, that's fine too. It's all good.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Princess Michelle, I just read your post above that just came thru, and I totally agree, 100%

 

[sha_lyn]

My DH was worried about the social aspect as well. However, I read a few articles addressing this topic that basically suggested that you can't really put too much into the whole "socialization" aspect. In the real world, it's not really common place to only work with people of your same age and backround. Kids in school are not really incouraged to socialize with people outside of their school year and/or clique's. Most (please notice the word most)kids that attend the same school have lived in the same area all their lives and come from the same cultural/ethnic backrounds. The ones that are different in any way generally form their own clique and stick to themselves. Poorer kids are picked on b/c of their clothes, while rich (and/or athletic) kids are idolized and treated better. In contrast, while in the workplace, you generally work with people of all ages, from all backrounds, cultures and/or ethnicities. You are generally judged by the work the you do, not the clothes you wear, or your athletic ability. And if you don't fit in and hate it, you can always find another job and/or move. But in school, once you are labeled, you're just kinda stuck in your social class (clique) and you can't just up and move very easily.

Then there is the whole fact that most of the time, you have to be quiet and pay attention, not much "socializing" going there.

Also, you also have to think about what NCLB is doing to our future generations. All they are generally taught is how to regurgitate facts so they can score well on tests. The teaching of thinking for yourself and other contructive and philosophical thinking is vastly disappearing and you have to wonder what effect that will have on the future....

Also, I do realize that kids need to learn about life, but I don't think kids should have to enter the rat race at 6 years old. They have the rest of their lives to worry about deadlines and incompetent colleagues. What's the rush?

Sorry, didn't want to start a debate or anything, just wanted to share. I hope this doesn't come across mean spirited, cause it wasn't meant to be

Bravo..... can't think of a thing to add.

 

[mom2att]

We started this journey six years ago because kindergarten seemed like a monumental waste of time for our first born. We planned on homeschooling for only a few years, thinking (as a former teacher) that she would "need" a school experience. I thought that by third grade she'd be in school. She is now a sixth grader who has never been in a traditional classroom, and her first grade and preschool-aged brothers are learning right alongside her.

Though our reasons started out as purely academic, it didn't take long for them to change to "alternative lifestyle," for lack of a better term. The fact that we have all day, every day to spend together as a family is to me a beautiful thing. It's the opportunity to build relationships and influence the values and ideals of our children all of the time, not just after school and on weekends, that makes homeschooling right for our family.

I don't hate public schools, and should our situation change, that's where my children would go. Please don't interpret my post as saying homeschooling is a necessary component of building family relationships or passing on values and ideals to children. I'm a product of the public school system. I have a great relationship with my parents and I have basically maintained most of their values and ideals. Public school worked for me, but then I didn't know ANYONE who homeschooled back then.

Today I am grateful for the additional hours each day I have to spend with my kids. They grow up way too fast.

Barbie

 

[Dakota_Lynn]

My daughter has minor learning disabilities I had severe asthma when I was pregnant and she didn't always get enough oxygen. She is most definitely NOT severely learning disabled, but she has some difficulties that I felt were causing her to get a very, very inadequate education. Mostly, she had a hard time understanding school assignments and the teachers (justifiably so) just didn't have time to go over things repeatedly with Robin so she would understand. At one point, her coordinator chewed me out for not having her on ADHD drugs. My daughter hated the meds and she had emotional difficulty when she was on them. As a parent and as a family, we decided they weren't right for her so I told the coordinator to mind her own damn business and stay out of family decisions. I then made the decision, with my daughter's input, to home school part time.

She does fine in some classes. Subjects that synapse well with her she can manage at school. But subjects that are harder for her, we do at home. Currently, she is taking at school three band classes (she is gifted musically) and she's working after school on a musical/orchestra project. She also takes two art classes, science (horticulture), and a computer class....all at school. She comes home at noon every other day and we do animal biology, geography, and grammar on those days. On weekends, my partner is her math teacher and my mother gives her history lessons. She has one helluva load this year with all the extra band classes, but she is a go-getter and is doing fabulous.

Basically, my whole purpose of home schooling these days is to focus on her strengths. Music is her talent and I really believe this is where her future lies and if she weren't given the flexibility that homeschooling offers, she'd probably only be able to take two of the four music options. As it is, she is, astonishingly, ahead of her class in history, math and science. She's a little behind in grammar, but we'll be working harder on that this year. It's an odd thing really....I never would have thought of myself as the home-schooling type at all! But a chronic illness forced me to have to retrain and work from home....so being that I'm here, I feel it is an honor to be able to go the extra miles and help my daughter in this way. Robin loves the help she gets at home and has actually asked if she can stay at home for her first two years of college so her family can continue to tutor her. We always make her do her work by herself, but we know how to find different angles to help her understand. Once she gets all the obligatory classes out of the way, she'll be good to go for her final two years in music! I'm very proud of her. Five years ago, nobody would have ever considered college an option for her and now...it's all she talks about!

 

[gina2000]

My child and I would kill each other if we homeschooled. He needs a social outlet and the opportunity to meet others and to decide how he wants to fit into the classroom society. And to be honest with you, I think that's a pretty important factor in my decision making.....not the quality of schooling nor the quality of the students.

I've read horror stories about classrooms, students and teachers. Luckily I don't have any to share. If I did, I probably would have a much different perspective on this subject. My only stories concern social difficulties of a couple of homeschooled boys on my son's club team. Truthfully, they were polite, respectful and responsible boys when among the adults. When among their peers, however, their behavior was difficult. Bragging and taunting were two of the problems encountered. After several incidents, one family immediately put their son into private school which has resulted in a much more socially rounded young man. The other is still homeschooled and has alienated many from his team. I can't comment on the frequency of socialization problems with homeschoolers but my experience has shown some significant social difficulties especially with tween-aged boys.

While I do believe that some children are totally unchallenged in school in the formative years, parents are very capable of challenging them at home either via homeschooling or after school activities. My child is not always challenged in school but each teacher brings a different set of skills to the classroom that I perhaps don't have. I believe that the more hands involved in education, the better rounded my child will be. And I totally believe that the concept of getting along with others can only be learned by constant interaction with others. I do certainly feel for any child living in fear in a classroom, however, and it's a shame that school districts don't provide a safe haven for those students acting out as well as those students living with an untenable social situation. We're lucky that our district has the funding to provide for all students - perhaps less than we all would want but certainly enough so all students are given an equal opportunity to get an education.

JMHO.

 

[Tink561]

I chose other. We started back in 1999 because we weren't pleased with the school. We continue because it fits our lifestyle. They do online classes so keeping them challenged is not an issue. We were more relaxed when they were younger.

My sons also participate in music programs, etc. at the local public high school so I have no issues with socialization, not that I was ever concerned about that.