Why do you home school?

[Wishing on a star]

This is a great thread!
My mom and I have been discussing homeschooling I for a long time now.
I think my mom is all go for it and I am almost there. We have to finish reading the homeschooling book we bought.

My reasons for wanting to be homeschooled are because of my confidence level. It may sound silly but hey.
I have such a low confidence level that it is starting to affect me. And plus also with the stress. I have been stressed to the point where I have cried myself to sleep and stayed home the next day.

Tinkerbell,

I wish all the best for you as you and your mother make a decision re: home education.

One of the reasons that I felt compelled to pull my son out of PS and to home educate was because he suffers from anxiety (stress), and with his learning disability, I am quite sure that he would also be affected by issues with his self-confidence.

I just wanted to say that, while home education is a huge challenge, dealing with problems and issues that my son, and I, had with the school was the only thing that I cried, or lost sleep over.

 

[tinatark]

Ahh, another poll response - scheduling - I know someone who homeschools so their kid can stay on the parents' schedule - also separation anxiety issues (I think those were parent induced) - - kid wouldn't spend the night away from home until he was 11 or 12 - now he's older and they spend many hours weekly in the PE part of a co-op and lots of time in karate classes - not sure when they do the core subjects!

 

[Wishing on a star]

To expand on the above.... I think we all know public schoolers who have terrible social skills too. You never hear someone say "oh it's because they are in public school. The parents should home school him(her)".

However if it is a home-schooler that has poor social skills, people start coming out of the woodwork. "oh it's because they are home-schooled. The parent should put them in public school where they belong".

I know several kids that were either pulled out of PS to be home-schooled after a diagnosis, or were diagnosed prior to school age with a learning disability, developmental delay,autism spectrum etc.
Each one of their parents get comments from relative, neighbors etc such as "oh he wouldn't be that way if you sent him to school".

Exactly!!!
You understand just what I was saying.

The issues/disabilities that the child may have are very often what make education in the public school environment almost impossible for the child.

But, the negative assumption, blaming the parent for homeschooling, is all too common.

 

[Tinkerbell424]

Tinkerbell,

I wish all the best for you as you and your mother make a decision re: home education.

One of the reasons that I felt compelled to pull my son out of PS and to home educate was because he suffers from anxiety (stress), and with his learning disability, I am quite sure that he would also be affected by issues with his self-confidence.

I just wanted to say that, while home education is a huge challenge, dealing with problems and issues that my son, and I, had with the school was the only thing that I cried, or lost sleep over.

Thank you.
That's exactly why I want to be homeschooled. I feel a great pull of stress -not as much as I had in middle school though- and anxiety when I can't do things or whatnot.

My confidence level is very low and it is just starting to affect me at school now and I am hoping that once,if,I am homeschooled I will be able to deal with these problems and solve them. I think it could also have my mom and I bond more.

 

[LisaR]

I thought I would throw this out there for some of you that feel the schools are able to address the needs of all the different children. The first sentence is going to sound like a mommy brag. Please read it because I assure you, it isn't!

My DS just turned 10 and is a 4th. grader. He is 1/4 of the way done with an Algebra curriculum! He is just amazing in math. However, he is dyslexic and struggles with reading. He is reading just below grade level. His reading is very slow and labored. He has made huge improvements but I doubt he will ever be an enthusiastic reader because it is such a hassle for him.

What would happen to a child like this in school? Is there really a school out there that would allow a 4th. grader to do Algebra while getting help for reading below grade level? Instead, he would be labeled LD because of his reading issues. I am certain he would have been held back in 3rd. grade because in our state, the standardized tests count in 4th. grade and they don't want someone that struggles with reading taking those tests.

Is my son a genius? Not even close. However, most of his work is well above grade level with the exception of reading. I can not imagine that there is a classroom that could accommodate him. I also don't think he is at all unusual. I think most kids excel at one or two subjects and struggle with others.

My DD is the exact opposite of my DS. She is 12 and still can't remember half of her multiplication facts. She pretty much looks at you with a blank expression on her face when you ask her to figure out a math problem in her head. If I can get her through Algebra, it will be a miracle. That said, she is a voracious reader, very creative and writes the most beautiful stories and poems.

I just don't see how a classroom situation can accentuate the positive that most kids exhibit while still helping with the subjects they struggle in. It seems impossible with 20 to 30 kids in a class.

 

[SamRoc]

My dd was homeschooled in the 5th grade (now shes a freshman in college) It was because shes an actress and did a Broadway Play. Alot of her friends that are actors have been homeschooled and are doing great.

 

[CEDmom]

I'm just wondering for those of your that are homeschooling because you don't like the sterile environment of traditional school or the idea of your child chained to a desk all day have you actually visited your local public school and seen their program ?

I can tell you our district is amazingly dynamic. Kids don't just sit at a desk all day. They're engaged in all kinds of learning experiences throughout the day. It's nothing like when I was in school. I honestly can't imagine a much more nuturing environment. They also have great programs for children who may be advanced in certain areas and/or need extra help in certain areas. It's done in a very low key way so no one knows why a child is out of the classroom.

Honestly, my mom is a teacher so I know what it takes to be a really good one and I don't have it in me to HS. I really don't think it would be in my DD's best interest .

I know of at least one family in our neighborhood that homeschools and I honestly don't know why they moved here since our taxes are high in order to support a great district. They could move to quite a few nice towns w/i a 10 mile radius and pay 1/2 the taxes we do.

 

[Karel]

What would happen to a child like this in school? Is there really a school out there that would allow a 4th. grader to do Algebra while getting help for reading below grade level? Instead, he would be labeled LD because of his reading issues. I am certain he would have been held back in 3rd. grade because in our state, the standardized tests count in 4th. grade and they don't want someone that struggles with reading taking those tests.

I just don't see how a classroom situation can accentuate the positive that most kids exhibit while still helping with the subjects they struggle in. It seems impossible with 20 to 30 kids in a class.

Actually, yes, at least in two elementary schools my children went to, he could be accomodated. Maybe not the algebra part, because elementary school math usually included a bit of everything, including algebra. He could be a regular math class but be in a resource room for reading, English, whatever.

It would be the same with your daughter, who would do regular classwork in reading and English and would be placed in basic skills or a resoure room.

Most learning disabled children are not held back, because it's not like staying back a year will 'cure' them. Schools know that different kids work on different levels and do try to create positive learning experiences for them. Most teachers want kids to learn.

I've been extremely lucky because our schools work very hard to educate my ld kids on their levels. My son spent most of his academic life in resource rooms or self contained classroom but in middle school, he worked his way into a regular science class and did pretty well. It was great that the school noticed that he was ready for that experience.

 

[Praise2Him]

I voted "other" because there are really several reasons. Number 1 is that my DD asked me to when she was going into the 8th grade. We love it because it's so flexible and we can personalize her education to her interests and needs. For example, last Spring she wanted to learn fencing, so we drove 2 1/2 hours once a week for 8 weeks to a fencing class. Now she's interested in sewing, so she's teaching herself on my mom's old Singer (and she actually made the dress she wore to the PPP). It's also partly for religious reasons, in that we can study the Bible and teach spiritual principles along with her lessons. We are also a very close family and enjoy being together and doing things together. I just wish I had started homeschooling at the very beginning instead of waiting so long!

 

[belle&beast]

This thread is really interesting! I send my DD to a private school because our PS system where we live is horrible. I work in a neighboring school district, which is great, but we cannot go there since we live out of district.

I am a speech pathologist and when I worked with elementary age students I had many homeschoolers come and receive therapy with me. I learned a lot about homeschooling and one mom really sticks out in my mind. This family had 6 children. 2 were homeschooled, 1 went to private school, 1 went to public school and 2 were still at home at the time. She was a teacher prior to having her children and she truly made individual decision based upon each child's learning style and individual needs. I cannot imagine keeping track of that type of schedule, but it worked for them.

I don't think I have the patience to homeschool and I am quite the procrastinator, so we would be having lots of fun and putting things off until later! I admire people who can do this and I think it great that so many people have so much success with it. I have to say that since our DD started kindergarten (full day) I really miss her and I wish I could be a fly an the wall to know what is going on!

 

[Nikel]

I'm just wondering for those of your that are homeschooling because you don't like the sterile environment of traditional school or the idea of your child chained to a desk all day have you actually visited your local public school and seen their program ?

I'm a product of our local public school, as is my dh. I'm quite certain the program is nowhere near an unschooling environment.

 

[Princess_Michelle]

I'm just wondering for those of your that are homeschooling because you don't like the sterile environment of traditional school or the idea of your child chained to a desk all day have you actually visited your local public school and seen their program ?

Yep. I have. The public schools here are blue ribbon schools, elementary wise. But, it doesn't matter. They also do not teach foreign languages until 6th grade. Even then, it's only Spanish or French, not Chinese, or Latin, etc. They still have to participate in the NCLB stuff and teach mostly for everyone to pass the tests. They still only allow kids to miss 10 days of school. Basically, they still control family dynamics. They take a child for 5 days a week, 7 hours a day, 180 days a year. They take up family time at home with homework. They decide when you can and can't visit family/take a vacation/take a personal day. They decide what your kid learns, and the pace at which they learn. I realize that this fits in with most people's lives, and it makes them happy and that is great. But for us, homeschooling is better. I don't want them having control over my family like that. I don't want to miss out on going to Georgia for my niece''s b-day b/c it is in February. I don't want to not be able to go to see family in New Orleans for Thanksgiving b/c my kids' school won't let them have more days off. I don't want to miss out on family weddings/funerals/births b/c my kids have to sit in school and read about what happens in the real world. I don't want my child to miss out on the experience of.....going to the Olympics in a foreign country.....or, going to Harbin, China to see the Harbin Snow & Ice Festival....or seeing the Northern Lights.....or St. Patrick's Day in Ireland......or the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, or any other once in a lifetime learning experience that I can provide him with b/c, you know, he'll miss out on doing too many math worksheets at school. And yes, all of these things are being planned for him, and any other kids we have. I have the time and financial means to show him the world and gosh darn it, that's what I'm going to do. If our kids DO get sent to high school (and it would be private) we are planning on taking them on one of those 3 month, around the globe cruises before they go. IMHO, Life is too short to spend locked up in a building with the same people day in and day out. Your family isn't around forever. You can't just not go see them b/c you might miss school. There are wondrous things in this world to experience and I'm not passing them up (for myself or my kids) b/c they might not get socialized properly.

ETA: The reason why it is important to me that my child experience these things while he's young, as in under 18, is b/c once he starts college, and enters the rat race that the world has become, he won't be able to do those things, at least at first. I want him to enjoy something without having to worry about the cost, or getting time off. He will have the rest of his life to miss out on stuff b/c he has responsibilities. And yes, I fully intend to teach him about what awaits him out there. If I do my job right, he won't be a spoiled brat jet setter, he'll be a well rounded and mature young man who sees more to this world than his own backyard and who realizes that the world doesn't revolve around him. Another part of his "curriculum" will be volunteering for Habitat for Humanity and doing Inner City missions. Things we'll all do together. His middle school years, and maybe high school, will have numerous missions trips to countries less fortunate than our own. I want him to see that not everyone in the world has a warm bed, all the food they want, and iPods. And judging by some of the stories you hear about kids these days, it doesn't look like many schools, public or private, are doing that good of a job in that area or education........

 

[LisaR]

Actually, yes, at least in two elementary schools my children went to, he could be accomodated. Maybe not the algebra part, because elementary school math usually included a bit of everything, including algebra. He could be a regular math class but be in a resource room for reading, English, whatever.

It would be the same with your daughter, who would do regular classwork in reading and English and would be placed in basic skills or a resoure room.

Most learning disabled children are not held back, because it's not like staying back a year will 'cure' them. Schools know that different kids work on different levels and do try to create positive learning experiences for them. Most teachers want kids to learn.

First, I disagree with your statement about kids with LD not being held back. At least in FL where the FCAT seems to be the main focus, kids are held back regularly (LD or not). 3rd. grade seems to be the year to do it. They want to increase those tests scores.

You said the school you are familiar with would accommodate my son but not with regards to the Algebra. That isn't my idea of accommodating. I know they would try everything in their power when it comes to his reading problems. However, they would not accommodate him when it comes to math. This is what he excels at. Why put him in a class where they are learning to multiply or doing "Algebra" problems like 2 + y = 6? He is long past that.

This is a kid that keeps a stock portfolio. He talks about mergers and corporations like most kids talk about baseball. His understanding and love for numbers is simply scary! To put him in the highest level math program offered in an elementary school would hold him back and bore the heck out of him.

He knows he struggles with reading and is behind the "normal" 4th. grader. However, his self esteem is still high because he is able to see his other strengths. If he was in a "special" reading program and held back a year all because of his reading, I am betting his math skills would diminish along with his self-esteem.

 

[LisaR]

Princess_Michelle,

Can we join you?

It sounds like you have some great things planned. If you haven't read the six in the world blog before, I highly recommend it. It is about a family of 6 that traveled to six continents in a year while they homeschooled their children. I know you didn't say you were planning on traveling for a year but they visited some awesome places that might inspire you. Plus, they really seem like a great family that knows how to enjoy life.

http://www.sixintheworld.com/

 

[Principessa Alba]

I'm a product of our local public school, as is my dh. I'm quite certain the program is nowhere near an unschooling environment.

Now I said I didn't want to debate and I really don't intend to but statements like this make me uncomfortable. I'm not knocking your unschooling in the least. But there are things in a tradional school that are important to me that would be impossible in your learning environment.
Just a matter of preference, certainly, but if you want traditional school people to respect your choice I think you also have to respect ours and not turn your nose up at it. We aren't sending our kids to school because we haven't given it any thought.

 

[Princess_Michelle]

Princess_Michelle,

Can we join you?

It sounds like you have some great things planned. If you haven't read the six in the world blog before, I highly recommend it. It is about a family of 6 that traveled to six continents in a year while they homeschooled their children. I know you didn't say you were planning on traveling for a year but they visited some awesome places that might inspire you. Plus, they really seem like a great family that knows how to enjoy life.

http://www.sixintheworld.com/

Sure I have never heard of it, I'll check it out. You know, we are really planning this out and there are lots of ways that you can do this w/o being super rich. Staying in hostels is good for tweens and teenagers b/c most of them require that you pitch in and do some chores. And we don't plan on going to China until he is around 12 or so. I have been wanting to go to Harbin ever since our Chinese teacher showed us pictures from when he went, it's AWESOME! DS is only 3, so for now, we plan on doing mostly US travel, although, our next trip will be to Scotland and Ireland, and that isn't for school, it's just for us, but he'll be "tagging along." We are really lucky b/c of where we live. There are so many civil war spots around here. Jamestown/Williamsburg is about 4 hours away, Philly is about an hour and a half, DC & Baltimore are 25 min, Shenandoah Valley is 2 hours away, Gettysburg is 2 hours away. My parents live in GA, my family lives in New Orleans, have family in California, and Army friends all over the world, so the world is our oyster

 

[mello]

I don't have any kids so the questions don't apply to me but I did have one of my own.

What is unschooling? I haven't heard of that - I have heard of someone who dropped out or never went to school as beening unschooled but I don't think that is what you mean.

Thanks

Unschooling is a philosophy of education - more than that, really - a lifestyle, that some choose. (I should add here that we don't unschool, although I am quite intrigued with the whole idea). Basically, unschoolers believe that children will learn what they need to learn when they need to learn it, and they will do it more effectively and faster than if we spoon-feed them the information at the wrong time. They believe in and make use of "scaffolding" rather than "pouring". Scaffolding is what you do when your baby decides to pull himself up to the table and try walking. You give him encouragement, you help if need be, and you give him more encouragement. You make it safe for him to experiment taking steps, and you give him space to learn. By contrast, you do not "pour" the information into him by lecturing him on how to walk. Unschoolers rarely make use of curriculum like workbooks and textbooks, unless it suits a particular need. There is no scope and sequence to follow; things are learned as there is need or interest, not because the book says it's time.

I think this idea has merit - especially in the earlier years. but I can't quite make myself embrace it for us for some reason. But anyway, we all need to do what works for our particular family and situation; the bottom line is, to each his own!

 

[graygables]

I grew up travelling and it made a literal world of difference for my education. It also made it difficult for me when we moved back to the States and I was put in a regular public school b/c I could talk about Paris and Berlin and London in a completely different context. When you've actually walked in the trenches...it's a whole different story. I want my children to experience the same things and I agree w/ Princess Michelle's take on the schools trying to control the family too much. My oldest graduated from PS and my now 19yo was in PS off and on until 9th grade when I pulled her out b/c of a teacher on a power trip. While PS is a good fit for many families, some DO send their kids just b/c it's the societal norm and they appreciate the social engineering aspect, not b/c they've researched their options. You don't know how many times I get "the look" followed by an "I would NEVER even CONSIDER such a thing!" well, why not?

As far as unschooling goes, we are adapting that more this year. I have a curriculum for DDs, but it doesn't take long at all to get through the lessons. Unschooling is generally "child led learning" which means that we learn what they are interested in. 11yo had it in her head to fill in a map with the 2 letter abbreviations of all the states, color the Mississippi, and then color all the states they have been to.

They are currently on a mission to plan a trip to ND, SD, MT, & WY so that I can say I've visited all 50 states (those are the only 4 I have left), so they are researching sights we might see and trying to figure out a way to convince DH that we'll be close enough to Disneyland! They are using math to figure out how far the trip is and by averaging 60mph how long it will take. Geography, of course, plus social studies learning about the history and attractions we might see. They are also using science to watch weather patterns both here and there to determine when might be the best time to go (DH is a masonry contractor, winters are usually slow for him)

8yo saw a whale show on TV and decided she wanted to know more. In doing these kinds of activities, we learn about migration patterns (geography), the animals themselves (biology), usually there is some art involved, DD listened to whale song, then went to the piano to try to duplicate it.

When they are interested in the subject, they learn SO much more about it than when it's forced upon them. As I said, we do use a curriculum still b/c I think it's important for them to realize that when they have a job, they aren't going to have the same kinds of freedoms they have now, but I also want them to see that learning is a lifelong joy and it happens all on its own, without a person telling you you have to do it or HOW to do it.

 

[sha_lyn]

I'm just wondering for those of your that are homeschooling because you don't like the sterile environment of traditional school or the idea of your child chained to a desk all day have you actually visited your local public school and seen their program ?

My oldest attended PS through 6th grade. In the early grades I was very active in the PTA, was room mom for 3 yrs etc. Had we remained on our old district we probably never would have home-schooled.
However if we had the chance to move to an excellent school district (or could afford private school), we would still home-school.

 

[lori1043]

I picked "Other" b/c the reasons are sooo many:

1. BIGGEST reason-I felt "called" to it and after a year of me and DH deciding and researching, we finally took the plunge. It was scary. We are now 25% through our third year!! It is FOR us.
2. I was spending so much time at the school volunteering
3. I thought some things that the teachers were doing should be done by a PARENT, then it hit me that they do it b/c some of the kids parents didn't do these things with them-so the teachers felt that pull
4. somewhat religious reason-but that has been a plus for us.My kids know more about the bible and Jesus than I did at thier age.
5. I missed the heck out of them, I wanted to "do" those things with them that teachers were doing
6. the ps system p***ed me off, just once really, but good enough for me.
7. we can take vacations when we want w/out worrying about school work. We work our year around them.
8. we can use part of our vacations as school days-field trips!! I LOVE that one!!
9. My oldest had cancer and I feel like God allowed me to have her a bit longer, so I am making the most of it. PLUS, I missed out on some of my younger daughter's life b/c of the older one's treament. Maybe that sounds selfish, but until you walk in my shoes with that, you may not understand.
10. This will sound anti-feminist(b/c I am a female, a mother and a wife, PLUS I work outside the home) but I want my girls to know that there is more to life than "going where the crowd goes" and that is perfectly okay that IF you meet the right guy at the right age, there is NOTHING wrong with "just being a wife and mom", so long as there is agreemnet(hence, the right guy). I have MANY friends who did not go to college and they are doing better than we are financially and emotionally. Being a wife and mother is just as good a vocation as any other-probably better! I do envy them sometimes, whilst I go out into the work world to pay my gorceries and our MANY dollars of school loans. My goal for my children is to not have them burdened with school loans. I want them in college one day, but not at that expense. It is awful for us as far as that goes. Plus, we had to live off of some of them when I had to quit my job to care for my cancer kid. We lost a little more than $20,000 a year due to one moment. We will take years to recover from it, b/c our lives are soooo much different. God changed us big time!! I thank God for my job though, too, b/c if I didn't, I'd not be able to go to WDW or vacation an average of every year and a half or so.
11. \we didn't like our ps options past 3rd grade.

Anyway, no matter all the reasons, i feel convicted to do this, one year at a time, and I seem to be blessed enough to continually be getting affirmation of our decision to homeschool. This is about the only thing in our lives we KNOW is right for us. It ain't easy, but it is SO fulfilling!

Lori