Why do some people not send....

[pfishgirl]

NOT only does my son say thank you in person, he writes something in everyone's card and addresses the person properly.. I didn't teach him that.. All I said was make sure you send a TY card..

Even now at 15 he makes really nice cards to my DH's Uncle, every time he gets a present, because "uncle" said one day, showed off his handmade Christmas card from our son, to all his employees at a company & family christmas party and said, Now see this is the best card I got all year...

DS was 9 I think at the time and was so proud...

anyway, yes, I may be late a little in sendng Thank Yous but everyone gets 1 that gives us something..

 

[Lil_Tink]

I think it is really nice, But usually I send a Thank You email. Saying "Thank you YADADADA for the great YADADADA I really enjoyed it1"

 

[bexareaglecheryl]

This also drives me crazy. I send birthday/graduation checks to my teenage neices and nephews and I never hear back from them - not even when talking to their parents. If my kids get a gift at the very least I call them and tell them thank you myself. A few years ago my husband's brother's daughter, technically my neice got married. After 3 shower gifts and a lovely wedding gift totally over $300 I was shocked that no thank you notes arrived - none. I then stopped mailing them xmas gifts b/c I never heard from them. It's infuriating.

 

[DisneyJen0504]

Seems like people don't pay any attention to simple manners any more. RSVing, thank you notes, returning phone calls, so on. Everyone is in a big hurry to get no where.

I know! This is such a pet peeve of mine as I am a crazy thank you writer!Family jokes give me a gift on Friday, the thank you is in the mail on Saturday.
It's just good manners to thank someone for a gift.

 

[barbeml]

My biggest pet peeve.

We went to a wedding in early November last year. DH is friends with the groom, I had never met him, neither of us had met the bride. Like us, they are 40-something and old enough to have learned some manners. Apparently not.

One of the WORST weddings I have ever attended. We were stuck at what was obviously the "groom's friends" table wedged into a corner. The drinks sucked, the food sucked and they ran out of most of it before we could get any (our table was never called for the buffet). We approached the couple to wish them well, DH got a two-second greeting from his friend, the bride never even acknowledged us. Obvious to me that we were only invited for a gift (we gave them a generous check).

Tomorrow is April 1 and still no thank you note.

 

[believe]

Thank you notes are not the 'norm' in this area. They are typically sent for things that happen once (weddings, graduations, showers) or if the person isn't present to give a verbal thank you. My daughters have only written thank you notes when individuals they are not close to have given them something (friend of parents or grandparents), otherwise they tell the person thank you with a hug or call them and thank them.

Around here it is just not a big deal.

 

[marybet]

This drives me crazy . My grandchildren have never sent a thank you card. When I first married their grandfather I sent them gifts all the time, and I would wait and wait and then call and say "did you get the box?". After about 2 years of this I just stopped sending them stuff, now if we aren't going there I send gift cards, still don't get thank yous. I almost want to ask DIL if they just didn't have thank you cards in Wyoming (where she grew up).

I just sent my nephew a birthday card with a gift card in it, well about 3 weeks ago, and I still don't know if he got it. Last one he'll get from me.

Of course when I did a vent about stepson and family not really thanking us for the week long cruise we took them on I got several people that thought I was putting "strings" on the cruise by expecting to be thanked. Call me what you will, I liked to be thanked for gifts I send and vacations I take people on.

 

[Mercy]

When did you send the graduation gift, you said recently. Maybe they received a lot of gifts/checks and are still in the process of sending them out.

 

[becka]

I understand that gifts should be acknowledged in some manner but I never did quite understand why some people get so offended when they don't get a piece of mail. Then to turn around and refuse to give a gift to that person for other occassions just seems childish. Did you just give the first gift out of obligation? Gifts are gifts and IMHO should be given because you WANT to give them not because you expect someone to 'thank you' or fall over in appreciation for you taking the time to get them a gift. Is it nice to be thanked and appreciated? Sure. Is it rude to not say thank you? Sure. Is it is requirement? No.

I guess I will be flamed here but if I get or my kids get a gift in person then we say 'thank you' at that time and show our appreciation in person. I don't write a thank you card or make my kids write a thank you card after the fact. If it is something someone sent by mail we call them up and say 'thank you'. We don't also write a card to send later.

It is rude to never acknowledge receipt of a gift but why some people get their panties in a wad over not receiving a traditional written thank you card (especially if they have already been thanked) I will never understand.

 

[azgal81]

I think it's rude not to send a thank you. Even if you don't want to use a stamp you can give that person a call or send them an electronic card. So easy to do.

 

[zookeeper]

Thank you notes are not the 'norm' in this area. They are typically sent for things that happen once (weddings, graduations, showers) or if the person isn't present to give a verbal thank you. My daughters have only written thank you notes when individuals they are not close to have given them something (friend of parents or grandparents), otherwise they tell the person thank you with a hug or call them and thank them.

Around here it is just not a big deal.

Same here. I personally don't feel the need for thank you notes if you are able to thank someone in person. Weddings, showers,etc are different because you don't always open up those gifts infront of the person who gave it to you. I would never think to have my kids write thank you notes for every single thing they receive. A hug/personal thank you means more IMO.

 

[bexareaglecheryl]

When did you send the graduation gift, you said recently. Maybe they received a lot of gifts/checks and are still in the process of sending them out.

Let's put it this way - my neice is now entering graduate school and I received neither a thanks for the h.s. or college graduation checks and my nephew is a sophomore in college!

Now, if someone is there when opening the gifts a verbal thank you is sufficient. BUt if something is sent a state or two away... then I think a thank you is in order. But then again these are the same families (DH side) that when we gathered together for Christmas present opening when the kids were younger, the parents left them rip into the gifts w/o looking at who it was from and never 'reminded' their kids to say thank you. ONe family is well off and so I guess money doesn't mean that much to them.

A huge pet peeve of mine has been going on for about 10 Christmas' now. My SIL has varying degrees of gifts she gives to her inlaws and their children. For instance, a couple of years ago she gave my DS a light up pen for xmas (he was about 13 yrs old) and gave my DD (their godchild) nothing. Yet for my other SIL (who lives with my FIL) she gave their children $40 gift cards to Wal-Mart, Target, Best Buy etc. This happens each year. It's a family joke in our house now at Christmas to see who SIL will give gifts to that year - it seems she takes turns. And this family does not have a money problem. We get their children gifts. I seek out special items I think will mean a lot to them, although there were some years when our kids did without so that their children could have gifts. Ohh.. in-laws.. they can be a blessing or a curse.

 

[mickeyboat]

I am a stickler for thank you notes, too. I don't generally send them for occasions when the giver can be thanked in person (I often do, though), but I always send them for a gift received in the mail.

I have stopped sending gifts to my neice and nephew because I have not once gotten an acknowledgement that it was received, let alone enjoyed. A phone call would have sufficed.

I also think it is incredibly rude to not send a thank you for a wedding or shower gift. I, too have been the recipient of a wedding thank you shortly before the receipt of the baby shower invitation. I still have not received a thank you for the shower gift.

Denae

 

[gris gris]

I have a question - when do you stop sending them??

I've always sent thank yous to any single person who gives me a gift. Now that I have a DD I also write thank yous from her (she's 3). When I was a kid my mom *made* me write notes and I always used to say to her "but you don't write them to me". She didn't seem to care about that arguement.

So, as parents, do you write thank yous to your kids when they give you a gift? Do you write thank yous to your own parents? I'd really like to stop sending thank yous to my parents, I'm 32 years old and they know I appreciate what they give me. Writing it in a card so they can read it and toss it seems like a waste of time. However DD will send them thank yous as long as she lives with me. My sister & I agreed we'd stop sending them to each other, but that my DD would send to her aunt.

I'm afraid to tell my mom I want to stop sending her thank yous! And my arguement to her would still be the same as it was 20 years ago - she never writes them to me!!

 

[LoriKay]

I don't need to have a written note if I've been thanked in person, by phone or by e-mail. What really bothers me is not having any idea if something I've sent has been received. It would be nice to know if the bazillion dollar place setting (which will probably never be used ) arrived!!

 

[VSL]

We generally don't do anything as formal as 'thank-you' notes in the UK unless it's for a gift at a formal party (a wedding, for example). It's more customary here to just call the person and thank them directly.

 

[ceiligh1]

I am the only one in my family who writes thank you notes. I personally dont care if other people write them to me, I write them because I want the gift giver to know how much I appreciate the thought, time and energy not to mention $$$ that went into the gift. That said sometimes thank you notes are not that easy to write. My wedding for example took me 2 months to finish as my DH would not help, and I was working full time and taking a class at the local college. I can understand when they dont come right away.

 

[olena]

I agree.....especially for wedding gifts. We went to my friend's wedding last Fall and never got a TY card.

 

[LVSWL]

I was totally impressed when my six year old cousin wrote me a thank you note for the flowergirl basket I gave to her! I thought it was very classy and it inspired me to finish writing the ones for our wedding gifts.

If a six year old can do it...

Her mom is certainly raising her right! I always try to write thank you notes, and I make sure my boys do to, but I have notice that the last few years some of their friends don't even say thanks for their gift at birthday parties much less send a thank you note
Oh, princess pooh, love the picture!

 

[Mishetta]

I'm guilty of one time not sending thank you notes for my DS's 8th b-day party. We hosted the event at a bowling alley & had pizza & cool sport cups with the flag on them (my DS's b-day is just a few days from 4th of July) for all the kids filled with candy. Anyway, my Mom died 4 days later & with her being ill & running back & forth to hospital & then all the arrangements not to mention the grief ~ I completely forgot to send thank you notes. It wasn't until sometime in Sept that it dawned on me & I called everyone to thank them & explained (for those who didn't know) all that had happened in our family & everyone was quite gracious & understanding.

My DS could have written a short thank you to everyone but he's a kid & was going thru so much too losing his Meme (who always lived with us so it was like he lost his 2nd Mother) that I just didn't think it was important enough ~ in the GRAND SCHEME of things.

Bottom line ~ I did thank everyone but yes, it does bug me when I don't receive a thank you (& there's been no death's in their families!)